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Be kind

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, choices, compassion, connections, courtesy, empathy, habits, kindness, understanding

 

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.    Plato

I have realized how very true this is. I have met so many people who, on the surface, seem to have everything together. It is only when I get to know them that I find out what is under the surface.

Sometimes those things we don’t see will cause someone to be angry or unpleasant. We will want to get away from the as fast as we can. Another person my be upbeat and bubbly. We like them right away. We gravitate to people like this. It is only when they are comfortable sharing their inmost thoughts that we discover the trauma and pain they have endured.

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It is easier to be kind to the upbeat person. It is a natural response. It is much harder to be kind to those whose behavior turns us off. The truth is both need our compassion and understanding. Kindness goes a long way toward making someone’s day better. You never know what good you may have passed on.

Be creative..especially for others

by worrylessjourney, posted in blessings, calm, centering, children, connections, coping, creativity, enjoy, friends, fun!, hands, joy, knitting and crocheting, Laughter, learn, remembering, share, work

Tuesday is a day that I always look forward to. On Tuesdays I meet with friends for knitting and conversation. We are a group who before starting this group did not know each other. We are all different. We are from different countries, different social groups. This makes the group inspiring and conversation is stimulating.

To add to it we are also being creative. One of the members is an amazing artist and does many pencil drawings for children to color. Each of us is creating something usually in yarn but not always. Most of the things we create are for others. We also offer free help teaching  to knitting for anyone who want to learn. This group is such a joy.

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scarf for one of my granddaughters

I have been knitting since I was a child. It reminds me of the my wonderful mother and the many things she taught me. The motion of my hands and the creating of something both beautiful (I hope) and useful have a calming effect. Knitting can allow the brain to rest (if not too complicated)  and the mind to let go of stresses. Seeing the finished product brings joy. Now that I have children, grandchildren and great grandchildren it is fun to do things for them and for friends.

Live each day

by worrylessjourney, posted in anxiety, appreciate, choices, consequences, fear, feelings, hope, understanding, viewpoint

Fear drains us. It takes away our ability to think straight and we struggle in the depths. I have always loved the quote “we have nothing to fear but fear itself.” That is so true. There are times when being afraid is logical….when in danger it is appropriate. The fear that tears us apart is the fear of things we don’t know. Many people are afraid to go to the doctor because something may be found wrong. Illogical. It is crossing bridges before we get to them.

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I have done this kind of nonsense most of my life. I can picture all the horrible scenarios and play them out in my mind. Then nothing happens and all that time was wasted in worry and fear.

Somehow we need to lean to live each day as it comes. Not an easy task but one worth pursuing. The day we are in is the only one we have. Savor every moment. I have a friend who has been living with a disease that should have killed her years ago. He life is a struggle. Each day a challenge. Yet she lives each day to its very limit and doesn’t think about dying tomorrow. This is surely how to live!

We can learn and remember with music

by worrylessjourney, posted in appreciate, children, connections, enlightening, fun!, learn, music, powerful, Uncategorized

There is something about music that moves my soul. Music can take me to another place quickly. Many times music will touch a place inside and bring me to tears. There are so many kinds of music that I like. There are very few that don’t touch me in some way.

Music can lift us when we are down. It does have to be the right thing. Listening to something depressing when you are already sad is a mistake. There are some songs that just force you to feel better especially if you sing along.

I will never forget the Muppets singing about being mad. I made sure that my children learned that song and could sing it when angry. I seemed to bring perspective to those feelings.

We also don’t teach as much with music as we could. I have a song taught by a college biology professor that I have never forgotten. My children can still sing the preamble to the constitution learned in Schoolhouse Rock. I recently learned that one of my favorite people here in Savannah was key to creating that series. His talent was amazing. He is now gone by never forgotten. His name was Ben Tucker, a bass player who player with almost all the old jazz groups, and knew everyone in the music world.

Music helps us to learn and I still wonder why learning this way isn’t used more. If you didn’t grow up hearing those teaching moments here is an example.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Losing Freedom

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aggravations, aging, answers, change, community, connections, consequences, create, depression, help, life changes, Loneliness

One of my favorite writers https://earthwalkingworld.wordpress.com/2019/11/16/let-the-looting-begin/   began his post today talking about the freedom we achieve when we are first able to drive. I would like to talk about the opposite problem

As we grow older our ability to drive can decline. Whether it is due to vision, slowed reaction time or mental losses we may have to stop driving. In many European countries this is not such an issue since public transportation can take someone anywhere. Those who live in city centers can walk many places and if they are able to do that don’t lost that freedom.

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For most of us who live in the US driving is our key to mobility and therefore our independence. The hardest thing to convince us as we age is that we can no longer drive. For those who have enough money to Uber everywhere it may not be a problem but the majority can’t do that.

For those who live alone losing the ability to drive can cause isolation which leads to depression and going downhill. I wish there were a simple solution but there really isn’t one. As the age of our population increases the problem will become more acute.

Creating a volunteer group of drivers who would be willing to help people run their errands and be with friends would be a good solution. I wonder if anyone has done this if so I haven’t heard of it. I hope someone does it in the future.

People matter

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aggravations, balance, choices, consequences, coping, emotions, expectations, perspective, problems, sadness

expect-e1573855705917.jpgToday is my 79th birthday. I was hoping that it would be a good day but my hope was in vain. While backing out of a parking place my car caught on someones bike rack and pulled loose a part of the side panel on my car.

This is my favorite car that I have ever had. It is not going to be difficult or expensive to fix as it looks as if it just needs to be popped back but it really got to me. I don’t know if it’s because I was expecting a good day or if it is because the car is my favorite.

It is not usual for me to be so upset about something like that but I am. Just one of those days.

 

I have talked to many times about how life is never boring and here it is again. The fact that it is not boring can be because of something good or something bad. Today it was something bad. We will get the car fixed and all will be well. Now all I have to do is get myself back to a better state of mind. By tomorrow this will just be a bump in the road. After all, for me, it is not things that are important but people. Remember that when things go wrong that can be dealt with.

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People matter!

More preparation than I thought

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, appreciate, choices, decisions, expectations, moderation, persistance, understanding

The weather has been unusually cold here for this time of year. It seemed like a good time to make soup. I found a wonderful recipe in my computer cooking program and it sounded wonderful. I decided to give it a try.

The thing I didn’t notice before I started was the amount of things that had to be chopped to get ready. I have made lots of recipes with many ingredients but this one was demanding. I chopped chicken breasts, carrots, celery, shallots, sage, spinach, mushrooms, rosemary garlic,parsley,  grated a lemon for zest and parmesan. It was rather time consuming. The cooking took little time. Next time I will chop everything the day before and just make the soup.

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I realized that life can be something like this. There are many things that we have to spend a great deal of time preparing and then they are done in a flash. Just think about the Christmas Holidays. So much preparation goes into a day that (especially if you have children) can be destroyed in an hour.

I guess we have to decide which things are worth the effort put into preparing. For me, Christmas is and I think I will make that soup again….it was wonderful!

Nothing comes to mind

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, consequences, coping, frustration, ideas, moments, think, words

An illustration of the girl who feels a doubt.

During the last few weeks it has been hard to write. I feel as if my mind is in the doldrums. Off and on something has come to mind but today I feel blank.

I know that happens to most of us but it is frustrating. I want to write but can’t think of what to say. Oh well, I will just say shelter from the cold if you are in a cold place and enjoy the weather if you are where the temperatures and comfortable.

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Maybe I will have something more logical to say tomorrow.

My list

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aging, appreciate, balance, calm, centering, choices, commitment, coping, learn, life, perspective, understanding, wisdom

I have gotten better about some things as I have aged. On Friday I will turn 79 years young. The year before eighty. It seems like a milestone. It has made me think about the things I really can do something about and came up with this list.

  1. My choices and actions
  2. My attitudes and priorities
  3. The people that I chose to be with
  4. How I use my resources both physical things, my energy and my emotions

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These are the things that I have some control over. Anything else is not something I need to worry about, stew over or waste time on.

Now the only things I need to do is to stick to this list.

Life and death

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, advice, answers, balance, comfort, connections, death, life, perspective, understanding, wisdom

Years ago I was distressed by  a family’s loss. In an auto accident one young daughter was killed. I felt that her life had been cut short. A minister friend had a different perspective. He felt that each of us has a life span that is ours alone….just as we are all individuals.

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I was reading a novel today and came across a similar thought that was attributed to the Gullah people of coastal South Carolina and Georgia. The book is “Gullah Secrets” by Susan Gabriel. Living near and having cared for Gullah people I have always respected their wisdom.

An elderly Gullah woman says: “Like a story, every life on earth has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Sometimes a story lasts only hours. Sometimes days, years, or decades……It is not about the lucky or the unlucky. The good or the evil…..Life and death are in an eternal dance just like that whirlwind. Wind and sand. Sand and wind. A dance across time.”

This vision of each of our lives is comforting to me. My birth and death are mine and are as unique as I am. Life and death. They both continue.