Nothing like just getting ready to write and the power goes off. In addition to dealing with The Virus we were then without power. WOW! I think we have made Mother Nature mad. We are under a tornado watch. Obviously the power is back on but who knows when it will go again.
Today I have been thinking about those people who are sheltering at home and are alone. It must be worrisome to not be connected to others. I decided that I need to being calling the ones that I know just to touch base and share a friendly greeting. There are some people we know who we only see at church and lunch after. I want to reach out and see if there is anything that they need. I know we can’t help much but I do have a son and grandson here who would help if needed….especially to run errands.
I heard today that there are now people getting prescriptions for Hydroxychlorquine to stash away in case they need it. They are getting doctor friends to write the RXs. How selfish can some people be?
I hope that there are more people out there who are concerned about their friends and neighbors than those that hoard. I hope that somehow everyone learns that this quote is true.
I have been thinking today about friendship. Even in this time of social distancing we can still be close to our friends. Communicative today is very different than it was years ago. For centuries communication was telegraph, some telephones, and mail. Maybe smoke signals. Now the world is connected.When my husband was in Viet Nam we only had letters to hold us together. Even those had to be numbered as many came at odd intervals or got lost. I never knew from day to day if he was alive….yet we managed.
Today I can pick up a phone, electronic device, computer, Kindle…..whatever and even see the person I’m talking to. I remember seeing an example of that years ago and being amazed (also wondering if I wanted to always be seen). Now we can choose.
This is so wonderful for me. I have spent time with friends on the phone, email and text messages. I can help them if needed and they can help me. We are there for each other and will continue to be. We are willing to share what we have (even toilet paper) or run errands for each other. Most of my friends are “old” like me and just as at risk but where friendship is concerned it doesn’t matter.
There are also those who I consider friends on Word Press. I know that I can share concerns, fears, hopes and ideas and others will respond. How wonderful!
Today I heard from a friend that I haven’t talked to in a while. It reminded me that we need to not let the path grow up between us and our friends. Friends need to be nurtured. Friends need our attention. I need to remember that.
For me, friends matter. Even though right on the middle line between introvert and extrovert I rely on my friends. As I get older I hate the thought that some will die before me. I remember my grandmother saying that everyone she had things in common with had died. She was 100 years old at the time. As I approach 80 this year I am beginning to understand. I have children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren but they will never be able to understand my past.
We must tend to our friends while we can. We all will be gone at some point. Losing those we love is always difficult. But, who knows maybe I will go first and it won’t be a problem!?!
Nobody sees a flower—really—it is so small it takes time–we haven’t time—and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time. Georgia O’Keeffe
We often hear the phrase “take time to smell the roses.” The truth is we seldom do take the time. There are some people who do but most of us don’t. Georgia O’Keeffe painted the flowers and she took the time to really see them….on a level most of us never will. Do I ever see the beauty? Do I ever experience the smell or the shape of the petals? Not often.
O’Keeffe compared this to the time it takes to have a real friend. Seeing all the things about a person and understanding them takes time. Accepting who they really are takes more time and the ability to see beyond the surface. We don’t often take that time but that is how we find friends who understand and accept us as we are.
Stop and really look at that flower. Absorb everything about it. Take the time to do the same things with those who could be real friends.
Truth said in love can hurt before it heals. Unknown
Sometimes we know something that we feel needs to be told. It is something that we know will be a surprise (not always a good one). It is something that could be devastating. What do we decide to do?
This can be an awful decision. It is important to look carefully at why we would disclose. It is possible that we might never be forgiven. It is possible that any friendship will be gone. Do we want to tell for us or for them? Will the disclosure be worth the pain it could inflict? We absolutely have to look closely at ourselves and think about the outcome. Sometimes revealing something it not necessary in the long run. Some times the repercussions will be too painful and can be unnecessary.
Taking the time to think everything through is most important. Hurting someone should not be done lightly. Think before you do!
I often think of Robert Frost’s poem about building a wall. He is thinking about what happens when we do this. We can wall things out and sometimes we have to do that to survive. Many victims of abuse can only manage by walling the abuse out. Some have even developed different personalities to not be present themselves. This is the extreme example.
However, we do need to be careful about walling those around us out. Usually what we need for healing begins outside of ourselves. We need others whether in the form of therapist or loving friends/family. We have to be careful not to wall out the help we need. If we are fragile it is so easy to stay inside our protective shield but this is only a temporary solution.
Try and find those who can help to pull you out from behind the wall and eventually tear it down altogether. In that place is healing.
Today seemed lost. My friend’s husband ended up in the hospital and I spent the day sitting in halls, cafeteria, wherever waiting for answers. Because of the flu outbreak they are only letting one person in at a time. I found places to stay away from the sick, read, knit and watch things on my Kindle. It was a day for kind thoughts and waiting.
We arrived there about 10:30 and got some answers at 4:00 pm. He has a kidney infection and will be kept over night and assessed in the morning. I hope they send him home as the hospital is a source of infections.
So often I have struggled with what I am needed to do in my retirement but I think this day puts it in place. I am able to drop everything to be with a friend and that is something special. I am doing what is needed.
Sometimes it is hard to see what is right in front of us. We all want to do something that “counts.” Counts how? Something that everyone sees? That is not what is important. Important is answering a need. Important is being there. So no one knows this is how I spent my day. It doesn’t matter. I was there when needed.
Today was the day that I finally relaxed from all the holiday, surgery, visitors, granddaughter’s accident stuff. I think I just let go. I am tired but this kind of tired feels good. It is nice to have all of that behind me and look toward what is next.
Routine is calming. As we get older calm and peace can be better than excitement. I still do things that challenge my status quo. It is important to not get stuck but, for me, a little bit is enough.
I depend on friends. They are the backbone I can count on. Life would be bare without them. We don’t need a lot of really close friends. A few will do. That doesn’t meant that we don’t have others who are an important part of our world. They just aren’t the ones who are part of the heart.
The only way that you find those kind of friends is by opening yourself to them. They will not stay close and grow with you if you don’t share your deepest self. If someone doesn’t accept that then you don’t need them.
We also have to make the effort to communicate. Someone said don’t let the path grow up between your houses. Today our friends may not be that physically close but the idea is the same. Don’t expect others to keep the path open but do it yourself. We have to take the responsibility to keep reaching out. Friends don’t become close over night. The work must be put in to grow them.
Friends are a crucial part of life. Take the time and effort to share, communicate and help the link between you to grow. It is worth it!
Our knitting group meets on Tuesdays. The place we meet is so nice. The friendship Coffee Company. There are couches and comfortable chairs in addition to the regular dining tables. If we can we try to get the couch. Sometimes the group is just two or three and sometimes more.
The atmosphere in the cafe is such that it seems to encourage people to talk to one another. It is not unusual for us to meet new people almost every week. Reaching out to strangers we find so many with lots in common with us. The conversations and interesting and stimulating.
It is a wonderful thing to have a place where people feel so comfortable that they can converse with those around them and meet new people.
Tuesday is a day that I always look forward to. On Tuesdays I meet with friends for knitting and conversation. We are a group who before starting this group did not know each other. We are all different. We are from different countries, different social groups. This makes the group inspiring and conversation is stimulating.
To add to it we are also being creative. One of the members is an amazing artist and does many pencil drawings for children to color. Each of us is creating something usually in yarn but not always. Most of the things we create are for others. We also offer free help teaching to knitting for anyone who want to learn. This group is such a joy.
I have been knitting since I was a child. It reminds me of the my wonderful mother and the many things she taught me. The motion of my hands and the creating of something both beautiful (I hope) and useful have a calming effect. Knitting can allow the brain to rest (if not too complicated) and the mind to let go of stresses. Seeing the finished product brings joy. Now that I have children, grandchildren and great grandchildren it is fun to do things for them and for friends.