Today I read an article from the New York Times about a movement toward banning books. I am so sorry to see this ugly idea coming up again. The minute we begin to censor what people can read we are in danger. Having access to other’s ideas is critical to our freedom. People are kept in ignorance can be controlled. We have seen that before in history. As always those who don’t learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.
Another day is fading into night. It reminds me of the “gloaming” and I love the image. I continue to move ahead each day trusting that my path will unfold before me. I still struggle to stop worrying about what tomorrow will bring. Both my husband and my mother frequently chastised me to not let the future ruin the present. They were both so good at living in the day. May I too learn to do the same.
I met today with a new therapist and am so encouraged by our connection and her understanding. Things will get better. I will continue to believe that.
I continue my struggle with IBSD but I am reaching out for a doctor as I don’t have a gastro one here. I realize that I also am missing all the doctors I had before. I must find new ones.
We are currently sheltering from the new covid strain and quite a few people here have been sick. We all wanted so much to see things as normal and that is not happening. It can be so tiresome and depressing.
Crash and I remain here working through each day. He is my companion and solace.
The last few days have been bad. I am having a serious attack of IBSD and that always stresses me into anxiety. In addition where I live there has been a considerable increase with the number of people who have covid and that doesn’t help. Today the dining rooms are closed and we can order food to be picked up. Not fun to have to eat alone.
I think one of the hardest things about my time is the loneliness that can’t be helped. I miss my husband who was my rock for almost 59 years. It is the emotional support that is the most difficult to lose.
I am trying to hang in there and hope that getting my rx for the med I need will bring about some change.
Thanks for listening to my woeful post.
Since coming back from my husband’s funeral in June things seemed ok. I was preparing to travel with my daughter’s family on a trip to Canada. I became more and more anxious and time ticked away and a week before the trip had a melt down. I had been crying daily and getting more and more upset.My anxiety had reached a level where I knew I had to do something. Discussion with my doctor’s Nurse Practitioner helped me to see that I wasn’t ready or able to take that trip. Fortunately my daughter had wisely taken out insurance that allowed anyone to cancel for any reason. She completely understood my decision. The minute my decision was made a weight was lifted.
I was really unaware that I would be so affected by the trip to Savannah with the funeral, visiting the city and seeing friends. After his death over 14 months ago I had no idea that it would cause me to react so strongly. I should have remembered that we were together for over 58 years.