Reflecting

Tonight is a little bit hard to write. I am hoping that on Monday we will have countertops for the bathroom. They have failed to be here several times and it makes me doubt that they will be here on Monday.

to lose a friend

Life continues to throw sadness at me. A friend of my husband’s has died. I know that both of us are feeling how fleeting life is. As we get older and is sometimes difficult to face the fact that you have few years left in front of you.

 

But most of the time that’s not what I think about. Most of the time I like to think about what can be done. What things can I do? How can I give someone a smile or a helping hand. Those are the things that seem to make my life worthwhile at this point.

Each time I can do something for someone there is a warmth that washes over me. I know that this is where my joy lies.There is nothing that can take away your own worries or sadness more than being of help to someone else.

quotes-about-helping-others-3

 

Not concentrating on yourself but thinking of others doesn’t allow thinking about yourself. Be of help to someone today. It will be the best help for you.

Life goes on

Life continues to be interesting. This morning my Keurig quit. I use a golf cart to work in the yard. it is my workhorse. It wouldn’t go this morning and the cart that I hook to it has a ruined tire. I guess I should be happy since I have no plan to do yard work without it but there are things that need doing. Fortunately I have another coffee maker so life continues. Also my computer has gone to the hospital and I am using my laptop which I am poor at typing on so please forgive any flubs. Hopefully nothing else will go wrong.

what else

We have been told that next week countertops that are slowing any more progress on our bathroom will be installed next Tuesday. So we sit with nothing being done until next week. The good new is the rest will be done quickly??? I hope.

Someone recently questioned me why “at my age” I would do things like Community Conferencing, Mediations or other volunteering when I could be playing bridge or joining clubs. What a question! I believe that “at my age” we should be giving back with what we have gained through living this life. I explained that to them….probably to no avail. Oh well, I tried.

 

Too much is too much

ehausted from yard work.jpgToday was a yard day. I didn’t really want to get out there but the hedges were desperate. Do you ever bite off more than you can chew?

The hedges were filled with vines which had to be pulled and cut away. Then it was obvious that pruning and shaping were important too. The problem is the hedge is too tall and too wide to just easily fix it with hedge trimmers. It can be done but it is a major job and I was already hot and tired. Nevertheless, I plunged ahead. Hot and dragging I managed to get all but a tiny smidgen finished. There was an area dead center at the top where it required a ladder to reach. I dragged out a ladder and did about half of that before I realized that I was DONE IN! I managed to get into the house. Crawled up the stairs and into a cold shower. I could hardly stand so I leaned against the shower wall.

I was revived some, took some ibuprofen and am recovering. It was a stupid thing to do. I could have collapsed from heat stroke. Thank God I didn’t. Lesson learned. No matter how bad you want to finish there is a limit. Don’t go past it!

Best wishes for a great weekend!

Invisible

I was watching a tv program and there was a scene in a nursing home. One of the elderly men was talking about being there. He said the hardest part was being invisible. When we are younger we have an identity. We are handsome or beautiful, pretty or a nurse, doctor or workman. We have something to connect to. As we age we are just called old. Not connected to anyone or anything. Nothing special.

It is so sad but having visited nursing homes he is so right. The elderly are invisible. But they have had lives. They have stories to tell. We need to acknowledge them.

Memories–always there

Memories

memory-quotes-images.jpg

Memories
Things remembered
Never lost

Childhood
Days seemed forever
Time moved slowly

Teens
Endless life
Untouchable, invulnerable

Marriage
Love, passion, caring
Too quickly passing

Children
Growing, changing, becoming
Then suddenly….gone

Now marriage
Secure, comfortable
Loving, aging

Growing older
Vulnerable health
Fast passing

Memories
Always present
Always, always

Still waiting but coping

kind-of-coping-9781507209189_lgAnother day just waiting. The workers who are redoing our bathroom will not be able to work this week so we will just continue toughing it will stuff everywhere. Who know that fixing a bathroom would be such a big deal? We are very lucky that we tore it out since we discovered that a major leak had been occurring under the tile. Before long one of us would have fallen through the floor. I am so glad that we are able to fix this now.

Life is never boring. At least that has been my experience. Life has had nice lulls. Just enough time to think it might continue when something else comes along. This is a pattern I have learned to accept and manage to absorb.

sharing wisdom

I am sure that age has something to do with my perspective. I’ve had a long time to learn how to roll with things. There are still things that can wreck my calm but after a short while of acceptance I usually can move on. I wish I had been able to manage this well when I was younger. I hope that my sharing my experiences is helpful to others. It is a major thought in everything I write.

May all those who are threatened by Hurricane Dorian be safe.

Good grief ! I’m lost!

crazy gramGood grief! Our local civic center offers shows all during the year. I get their email with the line up for the next few months. The scary part is that of all the people listed I didn’t know a single one! I know I’m getting older but somewhere I have lost my connection to the current music etc. stars. I guess I have some serious catching up to do. I need to spend some quality time with my grandchildren (who are all adults except for one), It’s going to be bad when I have to ask my great grandchildren about the current music scene. I have always tried to keep up enough to know who is currently singing, playing etc but I have lost it now.

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My grands are going to be hearing from me asking to be brought up to speed. I don’t want to become the dotty old grandmother.

Things can go wrong

Today I went to do a mediation. It was the shortest one I have ever done. My suspicion is that this family has been at each other for years. I don’t think that will stop anytime soon.

Isometric family disagreements and quarrels, conflict. Concept for web design

Families are so tricky. We usually know who our family members are and whether we like them or not. Some members we accept even though they may not be our cup of tea. Some of the trouble comes about because of money….. a consistent evil. Someone dies and the distribution of money and family things causes bad feeling. Members accuse each other of taking something that doesn’t belong to them or mishandling money to be distributed. No matter how close and loving a group seems they can fall apart over things left.

disagreement

I have decided that I will begin deciding who in my family will receive things that I expect could cause issues. I have begun asking my children what are the things that matter to them. Sometimes the answers can surprise you. Some people are more concerned about memories rather than intrinsic value. Having that information is helpful when making decisions.

The sad part is when things aren’t defined sufficiently families can end up with bad feelings and divisions forever. I don’t think my children are that way but you never know for sure.

There are things that have to be done before hand so that things don’t go downhill fast. I hope it is years before is slip off this mortal coil but just in case I am starting to make sure all goes as well as possible.

Opinions

Today I realized that I have been writing this blog for two years. Time flies when you are having fun. It has been wonderful to have a place to throw out my ideas and my opinions. At least no one has tarred and feathered me yet.

likingAt my age, 78, I do have lots of opinions and am old enough to not be afraid to share them. I am no longer afraid of speaking out and taking the consequences. It has gotten me in hot water occasionally but then I am not tied to everyone liking me.

Having lived through almost eighty decades I can see the changes that have taken place. The most concerning to me is the polarization of our society. The loss of perspective and respect for another’s opinions is worrisome. There is an unwillingness to even consider a different perspective. It is most evident in politics but can also be found in every day experiences. I feel like the lost lonely moderate. I know there are others but they are certainly not obvious.

basis-respect

I hope we can find a way to become reasonable human beings again. This is not the culture I lived in for many years. I am so sorry that it has come to this. Is there a way back to respect, moderation and finding a middle ground?

Ideas?!

repairs

The next weeks will be challenging as we are having some repairs done to the house. I don’t know how long it will take but I’m geared up to just putting up with the chaos.  We will still be able to live here so that is a help.

Sometimes it is so frustrating not to be able to use the skills I developed over the years. I feel that so much experience is going to waste. Sometimes that is just how things go. I will continue to find places to help with the things that I can. It’s just that feelings get in the way and make me sad.

Share-Experience-I have no reason to expect others to understand how much I have learned and how much I still have to give. I know that if I keep searching I will find someplace to continue the things I love. Life doesn’t always go along the way we want. I am continuing to explore things I have never done and keep learning and growing. I actually have plenty to keep me busy and should concentrate on the things I can do instead of the things I can’t.

I understand how so many aging people feel useless. We have spent our lives learning and it would be wonderful to be able to share.  When I visit those in nursing homes I can see how the lack of something useful to do can sap the spirit. I have seen nursing homes recently who have found ways to give seniors inspiration and a reason to get up in the morning. Some have integrated with child care places and the elders help with the children and are also lifted up by them. A wonderful idea. There are some other that I don’t remember at the moment. I hope these ideas continue and grow.

New_Invention_Ideas_George-Foreman-2

Those of you who are young and full of ideas put on your thinking caps and suggest ways that seniors can interact with others in a meaningful way. Any ideas welcome!