New procedure

Tomorrow will be very busy. My husband will have a “Watchman” implant (a brand new device) to prevent blood clots. A short while after he will be able to come off of blood thinners for the first time in years. That will be great as he bruises easily and is always needing major band aids for small everyday scrapes and cuts.

They will allow me to be with him and can see him following the procedure. He will spend the night and be home on Friday. Medicine just keeps advancing. Hopefully this will be a plus for him.

This getting old is aggravating but it’s better than not being here. I am thankful that we have managed this long and hope we keep moving for a while yet. We plan to.

Pariahs

Yesterday I had the oddest thought. As people begin going out as they want, many without wearing masks, it will be us elderly and the sick who will stand out. We will become the stigmatized group. We will stand out like a sore thumb. I doubt that we will be able to feel the slightest bit safe until there is a vaccine and that will be quite a while coming.

There will be a point where we have to continue to live our lives and know that there is a risk. That has been true for those in war torn countries forever. Going out of the door in the morning does not guarantee that they will be safe. It’s just that we have never suffered that experience since the long past flu epidemic.

Shunned

So if you see us out with our masks until next year and see us obsessively washing our hands and safe distancing from people please don’t see us as lepers. We are just trying to survive.

The real me

Another week gone by. Funny, they all seem the same. Wait…they have been the same. Each day blends into the next. Around and around and around. The days are only different by thoughts and ideas. It is hard to know what day it is.

Why am I so lazy? So inclined to just sit and knit or crochet. It is getting something done but not with the energy I usually enjoy. Today I did some simple gardening. It was hot out and it didn’t take me long to be tired and overheated. A routine of exercises must be added to my days or I will become a painted picture attached to a chair with knitting in her hands. This is not me. Somehow the desire for more has to be re-established. Days where my sights are higher than that chair.

the real me 2

 

People around us are getting out more but they are not as at risk as we are. It is so strange to be in the “old and fragile” group, I have never thought of my self that way. My self image has been altered and I need to move back to the real me.

Home tomorrow!

My husband is to come home tomorrow. Thanks be to God! He seems well and anxious to get back to his regular activities. He likes to do woodwork and other projects. He has been so bored. I am looking forward to him being here.

Stick Figures Holding The Word "Good News". Vector Banner With ...

Some parts of the country are going back to work and opening things. I sincerely hope that this doesn’t bring about another upswing in the virus. I hope to see some change for the better for everyone. This will continue to be a long haul and we all have to take much care. It is very strange to be in the “at risk” part of the population. We will not be changing anything anytime soon. We will need to “hunker down” until things are more safe.

My daughter, who is a nurse, says that her hospital is going to resume a somewhat normal stance keeping precautions in place but back to routine care of the ordinary sick.

We all know that at some time we will have to venture out and hope that it goes well.

Why so lazy?

There are so many projects that could be done around here.So many things that need doing. Yet some how I have lost my enthusiasm.

There is something about staying at home that has made me less likely to do the things that I should.I have been knitting and crocheting so I am doing something useful. However,There are so many other things that I could be doing.

There is so much yard work to do. My front and back porches need painting.There is housework that can be done. Why is it that I don’t want to do those things? Not having a regular schedule seems to make me lethargic.It makes it too easy to sit around and do nothing.

This is definitely not the way to be. Tomorrow I plan to get some yard work done and some other things that are stacked up at home.We are not in total and complete lock down so we can get out but plan to keep it limited because of our ages.

This is the perfect time to do some of the things we have put off don’t just sit do something !

Over the hill?

With all the hype about the Corona Virus is has been a shock to me to realize that my husband and I are in the high risk zone. Good grief are we now really old? I remember riding in the car with my mother when she was 95 and she said “I think I can consider myself old.”

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That is what I was hoping to do but heavens all the news people are making it clear that we are already there! I refuse to believe it.

My children have also called to warn us about being around large groups of people. It reminded me of the time they told me to make baby blankets so that if I was not around there would be some for their grandchildren. Have we fallen into the Twilight Zone?

We will be cautious as that is the smart thing to do but really!

 

Older and Wiser

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.  Anon

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We will never know what is coming next. At least I don’t want to know. Not knowing can be scary as in the quote above but knowing may be worse. Life moves ahead and what comes will change us one way or another. It is no good to stress over it.

Most of the things that I have learned from the experiences of my life have been used later for something unplanned. For me, life has taught me things that can be shared with someone or used in some way myself.

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Just like the “Ugly Duckling” what comes may be a huge surprise and who knows ….it may be wonderful. Even if it isn’t it may be useful and help us to grow. I don’t know if life has made me better (since I can’t judge me) but it has certainly made me wiser.

Friends matter

Image result for nurture friendshipToday I heard from a friend that I haven’t talked to in a while. It reminded me that we need to not let the path grow up between us and our friends. Friends need to be nurtured. Friends need our attention. I need to remember that.

 

For me, friends matter. Even though right on the middle line between introvert and extrovert I rely on my friends. As I get older I hate the thought that some will die before me. I remember my grandmother saying that everyone she had things in common with had died. She was 100 years old at the time. As I approach 80 this year I am beginning to understand. I have children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren but they will never be able to understand my past.

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We must tend to our friends while we can. We all will be gone at some point. Losing those we love is always difficult. But, who knows maybe I will go first and it won’t be a problem!?!

We are not perfect so TRY!

Usually, when we say we can’t do something, what we means that we won’t do something unless we can guarantee that we’ll do it perfectly.      The Artist’s Way

I am so guilty of this. Growing up my father was always encouraging me to try lots of different things. So many time I wouldn’t because I didn’t think I could do it well. The sad part is that I missed so many opportunities by not trying.

It took me way too many years to try anything I want to experience. I am not afraid any more of not being perfect or of failure. When I started my last job I told people that if I gave a presentation and it didn’t have an error then I didn’t do it.

So many times I post blogs with errors because my mind is running faster than my fingers. I know, I know I should check them over but I get ahead of myself.

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We are not perfect. We never will be. Don’t miss out on things because you are afraid of not doing well. Life is too short not to try!

Time

Science doesn’t know the answer to this question. None of us do. There are some ideas and some speculations but no proof. I was thinking about that when I wrote this.

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Time

Time
You move
Forward ever
Nothing the same
Ever forward

Time
Pulling me
Inexorably
Toward an end
For me
Time stops

I wonder
If
Time itself
Ever ends