Polygamy: what do you think?

Did anyone else read about the state of Utah having a bill before its legislature about polygamous marriage being legal? I was fascinated by this idea. As I see it the problem is that marriage in one state is legal in every other state. This creates a conundrum for many states. The polygamous marriages reported so far have been far from pleasant. The reported ones have been abusive. There may be others that are fine but I don’t know about them.

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I am not sure how I feel about this. I guess I haven’t spent much time thinking about it. As a proponent of women’s rights I am concerned whether this would create any impact on the status of women. I guess this would give women the right to marry multiple men also. Interesting thought.

My concern is there are women who are easily swayed into living in conditions that will be detrimental. Maybe this will work for some people.

Anyone have any thoughts on this issue?

Older and Wiser

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.  Anon

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We will never know what is coming next. At least I don’t want to know. Not knowing can be scary as in the quote above but knowing may be worse. Life moves ahead and what comes will change us one way or another. It is no good to stress over it.

Most of the things that I have learned from the experiences of my life have been used later for something unplanned. For me, life has taught me things that can be shared with someone or used in some way myself.

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Just like the “Ugly Duckling” what comes may be a huge surprise and who knows ….it may be wonderful. Even if it isn’t it may be useful and help us to grow. I don’t know if life has made me better (since I can’t judge me) but it has certainly made me wiser.

The elusive memory

The events in our lives happen in a sequence in time, but in their significance to ourselves, they find their own order…the continuous thread of revelation.  Eudora Welty

Our lives move forward on a continuum. Events happen every day. Some events are memorable and some are not. I have always found it interesting the things we have stored away and can recall and the things we can’t. Our memories are selective. Our brains store information….probably everything we ever did but most of it cannot be recalled.

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I have been asked about my earliest memory. I have a memory but it is not really clear. I am standing in a crib in my mother and father’s room. That is all there is. There is no context…nothing more than that. I don’t know why I have that memory. It seems to have no significance but there it is.

Image result for memoryOf course we remember traumatic events or days of special happiness but we don’t always remember the specifics and our memories will usually not match those of others who were there.

It is also interesting how memories can be triggered by other senses. A certain smell can cause recall. I grew up in Virginia and my family had large privet hedges around the back yard. When I smell privet it brings back memories of that place.

Music can remind us of a particular time that we heard it. We also experience the feelings associated with those memories. This can be a good thing but in the case of persons who have had a trauma it can bring it all back full force. That is what happens to those with PTSD. The memory comes with all the feelings of fear and horror.

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How our brain keeps memories and which ones come to light is not fully known but more is learned each day.

 

 

 

Is church still relevant?

Matthew Fox writes:

The crises we find ourselves in as a species require that as a species we shake up all our institutions—including our religious ones—and reinvent them. Change is necessary for our survival, and we often turn to the mystics at critical times like this. Jung said: “Only the mystics bring creativity into religion.” [1] Jesus was a mystic shaking up his religion and the Roman empire; Buddha was a mystic who shook up the prevailing Hinduism of his day; Gandhi was a mystic shaking up Hinduism and challenging the British Empire; and Martin Luther King, Jr. shook up his tradition and America’s segregationist society. The mystics walk their talk and talk (often in memorable poetic phraseology) their walk. [2]

Fox wrote this a while ago but it is right on target. We do have to change. People are complaining about church. They say it is not relevant. They say the members are hypocrites. We have lost some idea of what it is all about. We need to look again with fresh eyes at the gospel. We need to think clearly about Jesus’s words and what he did. We need to reinvent ourselves and renew what it is all about.

Violence breeds violence

children sacrifice

I was scheduled for a Community Conference this morning. The child involved did not show up. We were told that the mother is usually the problem with this particular child. For me that is really sad. The child’s case will go back to juvenile court to be dealt with. It is awful that this mother cares so little for her child that she would let the child enter the Juvenile Court System rather than find other solutions and have the case closed. If they had appeared we would have worked to find options for reparations that did not include going to court.

It just makes me want to find this mother and tell her to get her priorities in order. Of course that would do no good. So many children are with parents who are uncaring or so self absorbed that the children don’t matter. Some of the parents solve problems by themselves getting in fights or some other unacceptable way of handling things.

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We have to begin teaching conflict resolution in elementary school to try and stop this. Children learn what they see and do what their parents do. It would be good to offer a class for the parents as well and hopefully change what the children are exposed to.

Violence breeds violence.

Pay attention to health

This week I have been asked to do one mediation and 2 community conferences. I wanted to start back but wow! They have cases that must be done asap and someone has the flu. it will be a challenge but also interesting.

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I am also taking control of my health after the surgery and the shift of not having a thyroid. It is taking some rethinking on my part but I have realized that I have been taking my health for granted.  I am now watching my diet and getting back to eating well…back to walking the dogs for exercise for all of us. They even seemed tired after walking today. I guess we all need to get back to reality.

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It is so easy to slip and let important things get away from you. The holiday season didn’t help but really it was up to me. We have to pay attention and not let the things that keep us well be ignored.

Change AGAIN!

It is amazing to me that things can be going along perfectly and the something throws the whole thing out of whack. This week has been like that so far. It is time to regroup and rethink.

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Life is never boring. There is always something that brings excitement whether it is good or bad. The trick is learning to back up, accept the changes and move forward again. Even the good things can move you off track. As someone who like routine I am always surprised by changes. It is as if my brain doesn’t even put it in as a possibility. My husband used to go to work at 6:30 in the morning when he wasn’t due until eight. He said he got lots of work done before everything started to fall apart. He planned for changes.

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Maybe leaving room for changes would help to keep me from being stressed by them. Just plan a space for things to be different than I planned. Even if that space is not on paper but only in my mind. Those of us who like order and lists resent changes. I think I will put “change” down on my list for each day.

New year, new changes

every-end-is-a-new-beginning-quote-3At this time of year people are thinking about the New Year. 2020. I never expected to see that year. My mind just couldn’t get that far but here we are. I don’t do resolutions. Instead I like to think about habits.

If we want to change anything about our life we have to start with ourselves and the only way to make changes stick is by having them become habits. During 2019 I managed to begin some positive things that I wanted to stick. I am glad to say that those changes are now habits. Making something a habit is hard word. In the beginning we have to push ourselves. We keep wanting to say “I’m not gonna do that today…I’ll do it tomorrow.” We skip one day and then the next and the change is just gone.

daily routineIf we struggle and work to keep on one day we will find that the change is not a struggle at all. It has become a habit. We have powered past that hard part and something good and new has happened.

If you have in mind to make any changes in 2020 forget about grandiose plans. Pick small changes and work on them one at a time. When one succeeds it makes it easier to take on the next one.

Keep on

Well Christmas is over. It will come again next year.Now we need to think about what lies ahead. It’s been hard for me to think of what’s next. I know I will go back to my Community Conferencing. I know that there are other things that I have been doing that I will keep on doing.Writing is 1 of the most important of those.

It is a joy to be able to share my experiences and my thoughts. It is a joy to have a community so caring. Each of us has a story to tell. It is important to share that story so it maybe help other people.We learn from the experiences of others and ourselves.

1 of the lessons that I have learned in recent years is that things change frequently. The only thing consistent is change.We have to adapt To live.Without Gaining the strength and courage to move forward each day we would not be able to survive. Life is a challenge but it is also a joy. Each moment is precious And should be savored.

Remember that life is a gift.We are so blessed to have the opportunity to live each day. Don’t take that gift for granted. It can be taken away so easily. Love each and every day to the fullest. Even if it’s a struggle continue to move on.

Not my usual self

Christmas is almost here and I have to admit I will be glad when it is over. The older I get the less I enjoy the getting ready. I do enjoy Christmas day but is is so much work. I have to remind myself that I had surgery three weeks ago and am still tired so that may be coloring my thinking.

In some ways I am looking forward to the new year. When I was younger I wondered if I would live into the new century. I never thought about getting to 2020. Life is such a blessing. Just being able to get up each morning, have coffee and plan the day is a gift.

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When I read the blogs that show up in my reader each day it reminds me that not everyone has that choice. Many of us struggle with each day and and the outlook is not so good. Being able to share with each other is such a blessing. It is one of the things that makes my life better.

Tonight I am in a strange mood and find myself realizing that having my thyroid removed is not the walk in the park I expected. There we go with expectations again. They can really get us into trouble.

Hope that tomorrow’s post is more logical.