Mostly moms is the reality

raising aloneTimes are tough. There are many children who are being brought up by single moms. Most of the work hard and do their best for their children. Still, being without a spouse is doubly hard. I think it takes two parents. The stress on one parent is horrendous. We all need help and in the case of raising children it is critical.

Regardless of who is doing the raising having more than one person to be looked up to and hopefully emulated is so necessary. It is helpful if boys have some male in their life and a female for girls. This is not always possible but hopefully some other family member is able to step up and help.

raising alone 2When we grew up in small towns there were many others to help. It really does “take a village” to raise a child. The more adults loving and molding growing up the better. Many of the children I am seeing now have only one parent and it is most frequently the mother. We need to grow the organizations “big brothers” and “big sisters” to fill in the gaps. children who are mentored do so much better. If not they seek affirmation from all the wrong people.

We must care for our youth

What can we do?

The storm has passed us by. Yesterday the winds were high. We had moved all the porch furniture against the wall, brought in all plants and cushions and just watched to see what would happen.

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Watching the wind whipping around the trees and pushing the tide water in making waves was eerie. We watched until it got dark. We were blessed that we had power. Very unusual for here. Usually the slightest storm will knock out the power but it never went out. We did everything that we could to prepare for the storm and finally went to bed listening to the wind.

Surprisingly, I slept until about five. It was still dark and the wind had lessened some. I checked things and all was well. When daylight came we had very little to tell what had happened. We only got the edge of the storm.

bahamas

I can’t imagine what it had to be like to have been in the Bahamas. Having that storm sitting in place for so long with winds that will lift you up and blow you away outside….seeing the water rising abound you and unable to do anything to save yourself or your loved ones. The horror of that time….hours and hours of fear and horror….I can’t even imagine it.

Those of us who have not had to experience this kind of catastrophe have been spared. I don’t know how much we are responsible for this increase in the size and number of storms. It is possible that we are more than partly to blame. I hope we can do what we can to help the environment and change things.

Small steps = big changes

change will happen

When I began this blog I was in a very dark hole. I was struggling to find my way and a purpose for my time. I am happy to say that in the last two years I have come a long way. I do have meaningful purpose in my volunteer work with the Mediation Center. It has even grown more powerful recently in my shift to doing Community Conferencing. (the program that helps keep teens from the court system)

 

I have developed some habits that make my life so much better and let go of some that were pulling me down. I still have a way to go but being able to see progress is so wonderful.

Keep-going

 

Whatever you are facing in your life it is possible to make changes. We get bogged down because moving forward seems so slow. Don’t let that get to you. Just one step each day…one positive step will make change happen. We all backslide from time to time but keeping on is the key. Trying to learn to let each day be the focus is hard and I’m still learning but things are better. They can be for you too.

It’s not nice to mess with Mother Nature

Recently I have been thinking a lot about the earth and how it works. It seems that each time mankind reaches a level of uncaring about life around them the earth fights back. Just one example is the Black Plague which wiped out so much of Europe in the 1300’s.

I have wondered if the earth has had enough and is now fighting back again. I know the things that are showing up due to global warming and these may be related but (as far as I know) haven’t been linked yet.

poor mother nature

The green tide that seems to be in both fresh and salt water and is killing dogs (and maybe other animals). I have not heard of this happening before. Has mother earth had enough?

How about flesh eating bacteria (necrotizing fasciitis) which is now being seen in so many places that seem unlikely? Who ever heard of that being in salt water? If it was it certainly wasn’t frequent enough to cause the shut down of beaches.

Is this all due to global warming? Maybe. Regardless mother nature is fighting back. Besides epic storms and weather patterns I wonder what we will see next?

 

Perspective

 

Often I think that perspective is everything. How we view things is our reality. This is hard to learn and to realize that the world functions that way. One of the most difficult things to do is to change someone’s perspective. Our prejudices and our beliefs come from there. They are so ingrained that I don’t think we even know what is creating our world view.

The dictionary says perspective is:

a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.
“most guidebook history is written from the editor’s perspective”
synonyms: outlookviewviewpointpoint of viewstandpointpositionstandstance,  angleslantattitude, frame of mind, frame of referenceapproach, way of looking/thinking, vantage point, interpretation

When you read the synonyms you can see the far reaching effects of this. Sometimes it is worth our while to made changes to our perspective. If we see everything from a negative point of view then life will be negative.

boat-land

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” Abraham Lincoln

Perspective can change your life.

Find your path

College freshmen are people running around with their umbilical cords in their hands looking for some place to plug in.    unknown

This can be true of college freshmen but also a lot of young people. There are also those who don’t know what they want to be when they grown up and are at least 30.

ApprenticeWe have developed a society that thinks everyone should go to college. We have also equated intelligence with college. So untrue. What a mistake. There are many people who are so much better working with their hands. We have devalued physical work to the point where no one aspires to it. There is also the thinking that no decent living can be made that way. So untrue. We have friends who are plumbers and electricians who started out as apprentices and now own their own business and make a very lucrative living.

There was a book a while back that talked about two different types of people: farmers and hunter/gatherers. Farmers are content to work in areas where patience and consistency are needed. Hunter/gatherers are more physical. Initially they were required to keep multiples things in their minds at once in order to survive. Active people fit into this. We have created schools that force everyone into the farmer pattern. This may be why so many people have trouble in school.

Find+YOUR+Path+FB+Blog

Somehow we need to go back to the medieval method of apprentices who study to be skilled workmen and are appreciated.

So much anger

My husband mentioned receptively that he doesn’t remember people being so angry at each other when we were younger. I agree with him. I meet so many people who are angry for no reason. Today I was crossing the road from Staples to my car and there was a gentleman down from me doing the same thing. A car came up to him and honked loudly several times. He was trying to hurry but had a limp and I think was moving as fast as he could. The lady pulled in next to my car and got out. Her shirt said: “Remember be kind.” I was so tempted to say something to her but I didn’t. She needed to read her own shirt!

so much anger

It is so easy to see the anger in road rage, shootings, anger in our government, and just about everywhere. What has happened? Have changes in the ways we communicate (electronically) allowed us to not be kind face to face? The treatment of each other has deteriorated drastically.

I hope that we can discover the cause of all the anger and learn new ways to get along. If not, life will continue to be scary.

enthusiasm

No labeling

I was reading an old journal of mine today and come across the statement “Labeling is easier than compassion.” I don’t know if this thought is mine or a quote so forgive me if I err.

stop-labeling-people-just-because-they-are-not-like-you

It is so easy to label people. It is also easy to make snap judgments about who they are. How many times have I met someone and “assumed” what strata of society they come from or their level of schooling or intelligence. How often I have been wrong.

My son, when a teen, worked at a golf course’s shop. A man came in browsing. He was dressed in somewhat crumpled clothing and sported a battered hat. Fortunately for him my son just took it in stride and sold the man the things he wanted. Later someone told him the mas was Sam Walton…the founder of Walmart. How easy it would have been to think the man didn’t have the money to buy anything.

Labels are “odious” (Madeleine L’Engle). We have not walked in the shoes of the person we are labeling. We don’t know what kind of life they have had. Someone who seems angry man have been abused as a child.

jars

Having compassion for those we meet is the way to start out. Even if we don’t know what is behind their behavior or mindset. We can’t go wrong in setting our own behavior to believe they deserve our compassion. Maybe we can change lives.

 

Opinions

Today I realized that I have been writing this blog for two years. Time flies when you are having fun. It has been wonderful to have a place to throw out my ideas and my opinions. At least no one has tarred and feathered me yet.

likingAt my age, 78, I do have lots of opinions and am old enough to not be afraid to share them. I am no longer afraid of speaking out and taking the consequences. It has gotten me in hot water occasionally but then I am not tied to everyone liking me.

Having lived through almost eighty decades I can see the changes that have taken place. The most concerning to me is the polarization of our society. The loss of perspective and respect for another’s opinions is worrisome. There is an unwillingness to even consider a different perspective. It is most evident in politics but can also be found in every day experiences. I feel like the lost lonely moderate. I know there are others but they are certainly not obvious.

basis-respect

I hope we can find a way to become reasonable human beings again. This is not the culture I lived in for many years. I am so sorry that it has come to this. Is there a way back to respect, moderation and finding a middle ground?