Hope for change and lesson learned

It will be interesting how this “time out” for the world will be viewed in the future. The big question is has it made enough of an impact to force us to change. Change is a word that can strike terror in the hearts of many. We don’t like change. Somehow we tend to focus on what has changed and lost instead of what has been gained.

Will there be more similar problems coming? Will we learn from this about our world and take better care? Will we revert to our old way of life and finally have the next crisis be destroying the world?

I imagine that there will be some of each of these things. I pray that enough will change to make things better. It has been enlightening and joyful to see creatures not seen for decades or centuries suddenly reappearing. I hope we can keep this trend going. There is hope.

I will hope!

I have been off blogging for almost a week. Last week all my belongings were packed and I moved to stay with my family until my apartment is ready. For some reason this move was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I dropped into panic mode and suffered with IBSD. It took medicine and much coping to bring myself back. I am better but I have realized just how much has happened in the last year and 1/2.

I can’t say enough about how I long to be done with all of this. Will it be over soon????

A blast from the past

Lately I have been watching streaming programs from Britbox. Many of them deal with live in the 50’s and 60’s. It has brought back so many memories.

I grew up in the time of poodle skirts, penny loafers, saddle oxfords, sweater sets, blue jeans lined with flannel and rolled up to reveal the lining, long pencil skirts and so many other things.

Films were strictly censored….there was little violence or nudity…no foul language. Life was really different. It was kinder in some ways and not in others. Anyone getting pregnant in high school had to leave and go to a different school. They were considered beyond the pale.

We wore “bobby socks” and had sock hops. Socks were worn to protect the gym floor. Proms were held in the school gymnasium and were highly decorated by the students. A king and queen were crowned. Punch was often spiked by boys wanting to show that they could.

During my college years was the era of the folk singers. The Kingston Trio, The Limlighters, Peter, Paul and Mary, The Mamas and the Papas, Joan Baez. I loved that music. Songs like Tom Dooley, Blowin in the Wind, and all the ones that came throughout the sixties. had learned folk song early in my life and absolutely loved those songs. We went to concerts in gymnasiums and sat on the floor.

In 1962 I graduated college and got married. This was the time of mini skirts, knee boots and psychedelic colors. A real change from the fifties. I saw people become “flower children” and live in communes. Birth control pills gave women the freedom to choose to have sex if they wanted and free love was the thing of the day. Women felt freed and the Women’s Liberation Era began.

Things have changed a lot since then. Some good some bad. People in general were kinder and more mannerly but women had more set roles and received less respect in the man’s world. Some people from my era have moved with the times and some not. It is a different world and interesting to live in. I would love to see the future ahead but know that I won’t. I am in the waning years but I will enjoy them fully.

Time goes by

Today memories have taken over my thinking. I have taken myself back to my childhood and remembered lying on the floor in front of the fire at night and listening to the radio. You heard me right. There was no television. The radio was our entertainment and I can tell you scary programs and worse when it is your own mind conjuring up the villain. There was “The Shadow” and one with a creaking door. Less stressful programs were “Let’s Pretend” “Fibber McGee and Molly” and many others.

Television didn’t come into my life until sometime in the 50’s. My grandfather bought one for his office. He didn’t worry about those of us a home. (he and my grandmother lived with us) I used to go to his office just to see this magical thing.

Later we were able to get one for our home. It was a small oval screen and the picture was black and white. There weren’t a lot of programs and I don’t remember many of them. Strangely enough I remember the radio programs more.

In the late fifties I remember going to a teacher’s home to watch something from Disney in color. That seemed truly amazing.

The world has really changed in my lifetime.

Coming back

It has been so long since I have posted that I feel lost. For some reason after my husband’s death I just stopped for a while. It is time to be back. First let me thank everyone for your kind messages of sympathy. They were much appreciated and helped me at a time when I needed help.

Now I hope to get back to my normal writing. I have thought about so many things during this hiatus and will be sharing thoughts and ideas. Life is never boring and always has something to teach us if we are willing to learn. Wisdom does come with age if we choose to learn as we go. I have much to learn still and am still curious about life and the world around me. I hope I never stop learning until I leave this earth.

Glad to be back. Peace, Suzanne

A good change

Today there was a quote on the blog “idealideas” on Word Press that really caused me to think. “A good change is a short term inconvenience for a long term solution.”

It made me see that my husband and I have done the right thing. We are aiming for the long term solution. Right now we are in the short term inconvenience. Hopefully it will not last too long but after this we will hopefully be where we can stay permanently. That will be a wonderful thing. Sometimes it feels like this is stressful and unreasonable but it really is not. It is just that with covid and trying sell a house it seems like it will go on forever.

Sometimes life can be really hard to take and difficult to understand but it is how we deal with it that matters. Keeping your resolve is not easy but worth it in the long run. I know that this time will pass but at times that is hard to believe. We just have to keep on.

Another Day

Life is different and the same. We are some of our family but the reality of covid continues to make life lonely. Connecting with friends from home is mostly the same since it was phone conversations. However we did have a few people that we met to eat outside off and on. Our family is one who does dinner (and it is wonderful ) but I miss meeting people for lunch. Even if we go out it is just the two of us. Sometimes it is so hard not to be bored.

I have picked up my knitting and crocheting but since it has been my go to thing since March the joy of it is wearing thin. Like most people I am feeling the long haul to some changes.

Thanksgiving will provide some change as the family will have a meal together but I am discovering getting my husband and the dogs going can be a real journey. We haven’t yet got the dogs acclimated and they howl if we leave them alone which means that we take them with us or one of us has to be here. Oh well, one of life’s little irritations.

I know I’m sounding gloomy and I do feel that way a good bit but “this too shall pass.” After not being in a different town since 1976 this will take some time.

It is nice to be reading all of you again and connecting. Thank you for your responses.

Tired, sad, and hopeful

This is the first night that I have attempted to write anything. Having lived for almost a month in chaos has me really drained. We are finally able to feel as if we live in our apartment. It is a very quiet and tree filled area. It is, however, much different than living in a neighborhood where everyone smiled and waved to each other. It feels emotionally cold although I am sure that is just me adjusting to a different world.

Right now it is hard. My family is mostly busy during the week with work and school even though available for help and ememrgencies if needed. It feels very lonely although in truth no different than our former home during covid. Getting out is the same and it was lonely at home too. It just feels different in a different space. I know these feelings will pass and some of it is homesickness but at the moment it makes me sad.

Sometimes waiting is so hard. All of us waiting for a vaccine and for something to change. In lots of ways putting life on hold. We have to find ways to continue to live even if in a different way.

I am holding on to that hope for now and managing.

I am sorry to have missed so many blogs and so many of you on wordpress and on facebook. I will try to get back to my former pattern so that I can reconnect.

In this week coming up to Thanksgiving in the US I will be counting my blessings and they are many. Peace, Suzanne

Tough times

I hate to keep writing that days have been tough but it is the truth. Trying to divide what we want to move with us and what we do is confusing. Also, accepting that this is it finally. I have wanted it here but now that it is it is really stressful. I have been fighting anxiety and taking meds when I usually don’t need them.

Change is hard and not what we usually want. We need this and it will take a while to get things organized. So many doctors to set up for my husband and visits to them. When we get it all set up it will be a gigantic relief. We already have an appointment with an infectious disease specialist and that is the most critical one since his primary problem is the infection in his knee replacement.

At some time I will be able to think again and write about interesting topics instead of whining about my stresses. I am looking forward to that. I have also written so little on my other blog “heargodinothervoices.” my thoughts about God have been thanking him for his support with me and his continuing care.

This week will be busy so I will write when I can and know that the community will understand and support me.

Another “If” question

I have decided that this is a day for another “IF” question.

“If you could eliminate one heredity characteristic from your family what would it be?

This is an easy one for me. I would get rid of our tendency to have anxiety and depression. Mostly it is anxiety which then leads to depression. For some of my family this is a mild trait…for others not so much. In the past anxiety has lead to alcoholism since it is one way to tamp down anxiety. Obviously not a good way but one that was commonly used in the past and could easily be again. It could also lead to drug abuse for the same reason.

I have seen this problem crop up in some younger members but I am relieved to say that they are handling it really well.

Any kind of mental health issue is a challenge that can easily lead to bad ways to handle the problems it causes. I would be happy if this disappeared in my family.