Category: advice

A broken system

by worrylessjourney, posted in advice, help, needs

Today is better. Things are starting to iron out. My interventions this week bore fruit and I think we are on a good path.

I worry about those who have no idea how to navigate the medical system. It is getting more complex every day. Physicians want to stick to their specialties and no one wants to manage the whole person. Sometimes the Internal Medicine docs are the ones to do that but they also struggle with getting information from the specialists so they are frustrated too.

I wish I knew what need to be done but things are getting worse every day. I really do think that the insurance companies are a major part of the problem. They are telling the doctors what they can and cannot do. That makes no sense. I pray that something happens in the future to make this better.

If you are dealing with medical care find someone you know who understands it and ask for help. Most people are happy to help where they can.

Blowin in the wind

by worrylessjourney, posted in accountable, advice, answers, belief, choices, music, remembering, Uncategorized

I was in college when the great era of folk songs came about. I have always loved folk songs. I learned them early from a 4th grade teacher who played an autoharp and taught us to sing many of them. I love that they tell a story about the life of the people during whatever era they lived in.

In the late 1950″s and early 60’s they became popular and so many of the ones I had learned were sung by the famous groups of the day. The Kingston Trio, Peter, Paul and Mary, Joan Baez, The Limelighters, Pete Seeger, The Mamas and the Papas…I could go on and on. Many new songs were written about what was going on at the time.

I find it sad that the problems they highlighted in the world are still there. Maybe we should listen to them again and really hear the message.

Human touch

by worrylessjourney, posted in advice, anxiety, calm, comfort, connections, coping, help, humans need humans, try

human-touch-image-may-2018

Most of us are suffering from cabin fever or worse. We so need human touch. For those of us who are completely alone it is a devastating time. It is easy to fall into periods of depression and anxiety. We are not meant to be alone. One of the worst punishments for prisoners is spending a long time in isolation.

hug-yourslf-prints

I am going to suggest something that sounds totally ridiculous. You have to hug yourself. I am talking about physically putting your arms around yourself and squeezing tight. Stay that way for a while and repeat often. As strange as it seems it will help.

 

 

 

hug yourself quote

 

Choose fun!

by worrylessjourney, posted in advice, appreciate, choices, fun!, let go, moments, perspective, share

Today I bit off more than I could chew. I needed to make more communion bread (not a problem) but then decided to make Hummingbird Cake. Also not hard but somewhat time consuming. I don’t know why I wanted to do that. I have no company coming and we will not eat a whole cake. What was I thinking?

hummingbird-cake-7
This is not my cake

Nevertheless I did all of that and am planning to give away large slices of the cake. Some people are in for a good evening when I take it to them.

Now I am really tired. This is what happens when there are many things to be done that you don’t want to do. Any way to escape. Now tomorrow I will have to tackle the things I put off but I have no other plans….so that will work.

Image result for choose to have fun

 

I think sometimes you just have to give in to a whim. It makes life more interesting. Just sticking to routine, no matter how comforting, can get boring. Don’t be afraid to jump into something you love. It will make life more fun.

Tell the truth??? or not??

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, accountable, advice, answers, choices, connections, consequences, decisions, friends, mistakes, perspective, truth

Truth said in love can hurt before it heals. Unknown

Sometimes we know something that we feel needs to be told. It is something that we know will be a surprise (not always a good one). It is something that could be devastating. What do we decide to do?

This can be an awful decision. It is important to look carefully at why we would disclose. It is possible that we might never be forgiven. It is possible that any friendship will be gone. Do we want to tell for us or for them? Will the disclosure be worth the pain it could inflict? We absolutely have to look closely at ourselves and think about the outcome. Sometimes revealing something it not necessary in the long run. Some times the repercussions will be too painful and can be unnecessary.

Image result for truth can hurt

Taking the time to think everything through is most important. Hurting someone should not be done lightly. Think before you do!

Mistakes

by worrylessjourney, posted in advice, choices, consequences, learn, mistakes

I have three children. They are all in their 50’s now and that is hard to believe. They were born 3 years apart making the oldest 6 years older than the youngest. When they were about 10, 13 and 16 there was fun conversation going on at dinner one night. The kids were taking about each other’s mistakes…the older two pointing fingers at each other debating who had made the worst mistakes.

Image result for quotes about mistakes

 

Somewhere during the conversation the two of them realized that they had not said anything about the youngest…..and they couldn’t think of anything to say about her. One of them, frustrated that they couldn’t point at her asked: “Why don’t you make many mistakes?”

 

 

She responded: “I watch what the two of you do and don’t make the same mistakes.” An amazing piece of wisdom from a 10 year old. We could all learn from her.

Image result for quotes about mistakes

Too often we can’t see the wisdom of learning from the mistakes of others. If we did the world would be a better place. That is what history teaches us if we are willing to pay attention. Don’t make the same mistakes with the same outcome. Learn from the past and from the mistakes of others.

When the truth can hurt

by worrylessjourney, posted in advice, compassion, consequences, discretion, empathy, love, truth

Truth may be vital but without love it is unbearable. from “The Two Popes.”

We can get ourselves into a moral dilemma sometimes. We may find out something that we feel we need to tell someone but it may destroy their world. What to do?

tell the truth

Information is important but so is caring about others. It is just hard to know when to share that information and when not to. What if you know that someone is having an affair and you are friends with the other spouse? To tell or not tell…..that is the question.

There are lots of other moral scenarios where we may be called to judge if telling is worth the harm it can cause. Truth is good but love has to be considered.

My Guide to Helping Families with a Child in the Hospital — MommaInTheMountains with Intentionally Healthy Inc

by worrylessjourney, posted in advice, children, compassion, connections, coping, help, ideas, share

This is a wonderful list of how to help families with sick children!

Before I continue our story I want to share more on how you can help. In the last few years between NICU, RSV/Adenovirus/Pneumonia stay, and this most recent round of hospital time, it has occurred to me most people don’t know how to help. Most people ask “Let me know if I can do anything”, […]

via My Guide to Helping Families with a Child in the Hospital — MommaInTheMountains with Intentionally Healthy Inc

Keep going

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, advice, balance, belief, change, commitment, coping, habits, health, life changes, persistance, routine, work

Believe-1-575x675If there is one thing I have learned in the last week it is that a 79 year old does not bounce back. My husband has had several surgeries in the last few years…mostly from jumping out of airplanes in the army. I have had none. I have always been supportive of him during his recoveries but I am not sure I have appreciated just how hard it is to get back to your best you can be.

He has been so supportive and kind to me with this surgery which was not a bad one (as surgeries go), I guess experience is the best teacher.

I have no complaints today other than being tired. I am usually the energizer bunny but have had to listen to my body and rest. I am grateful that everything went so well.

I have always spent a lot of time crossing bridges before getting to them. This time I was better than usual. I think the time I have spent learning new habits and applying the needed skills did make a difference. My journey to be “worryless” is advancing. I’m not at the end but making progress. We can get better but it does take work. Seeing this improvement encourages me to continue my efforts and keep going.

keep-going-cute-motivational-poster-900x1200.jpg

I think that it is easy to get discouraged when we can’t see progress but it will come with time. Just work your way through one day before considering the next. Things can change.

Life and death

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, advice, answers, balance, comfort, connections, death, life, perspective, understanding, wisdom

Years ago I was distressed by  a family’s loss. In an auto accident one young daughter was killed. I felt that her life had been cut short. A minister friend had a different perspective. He felt that each of us has a life span that is ours alone….just as we are all individuals.

khalilgibran1-2x

I was reading a novel today and came across a similar thought that was attributed to the Gullah people of coastal South Carolina and Georgia. The book is “Gullah Secrets” by Susan Gabriel. Living near and having cared for Gullah people I have always respected their wisdom.

An elderly Gullah woman says: “Like a story, every life on earth has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Sometimes a story lasts only hours. Sometimes days, years, or decades……It is not about the lucky or the unlucky. The good or the evil…..Life and death are in an eternal dance just like that whirlwind. Wind and sand. Sand and wind. A dance across time.”

This vision of each of our lives is comforting to me. My birth and death are mine and are as unique as I am. Life and death. They both continue.