I don’t know if I have written about this before but I feel compelled to talk about it. Each of us matters. We can so easily get discouraged about changing anything…the way the world is going, the condition of the earth, the violence around us. It is so frustrating. Often we want to make a difference but we feel unable to do so. So how do we get past that?
I believe that any small thing makes a difference. I belong to prayer group called Daughters of the King. The motto of that group is ““I cannot do everything, but I can do something. What I can do, I ought to do. What I ought to do, by the grace of God I will do. Lord, what will you have me do?”
I believe this. Each of us can make a difference. In the words of the Dalai Lama
“The tendrils that connect one human being to another are so unlikely so inherently fragile…I think that is it s a miracle they exist at all.”
From the TV program Numbers
Connecting with one another is so key to how we live. I have always needed those connections and tend to nurture them. Without them I am lost.
Whether we are connecting to the family that raised us or family that we choose and continue to choose from those we meet those connections form us. They are the glue that hold us together. The support that we receive from others makes our lives manageable. The love of those connected by those tendrils is what brings joy to our journey through life.
It is a miracle and one that I depend on and rejoice over every day.
Today there has apparently been a lot of conversation about the Jeep commercial on the ball game last night. This whole thing is such a mystery to me. People are taking sides and giving their opinions of what was meant and why it was done. What about just considering what was said and how the words themselves have make people think. The fact that there has been so much discussion certainly lets us know that it struck a chord whether good or bad.
Instead of just fussing about each side what would happen if those talking could think about why this brought out so many opinions and thoughts? What if real discussion could take place and questions could be asked about what could be done to change the reality of so many splits today and why everyone has taken a “my way or the highway” position. When I was in my 20’s and 30’s people were allowed to take a different position without is causing anger and vituperation. Is there any going back? Is there any way to change? I hope to God there is.
It would be so easy in the midst of all that has been going on to be afraid but fear doesn’t help. Fear merely increases our adrenaline and does bad things to our body. Unless we truly need the fight or flight response it doesn’t help us. It is so easy to be afraid of covid, afraid of the riots and insurrection. There are many things that can make us afraid. Many times we are afraid of things that scared us as children. For some reason I hate spiders. I don’t know why but there is probably something in the past. Fear is a necessary part of our make up. It can save us when we are in danger but we have to learn to see when it is hurting us.
The things that frighten us don’t have to be real. Many of us experience fear/anxiety for a multitude of reasons. The more we learn ways to use tools that help us the better we become. Fear can stop us from doing things that we need to do or things that we really would love doing. Learning to cope each day, each moment is the goal. We just have to keep moving on.
Today has been a little trying. It is raining hard here and 42 degrees. Not the most fun weather. Actually I prefer snow to this. The cold rain is miserable and depressing. It has caused me to feel anxious. I want to be able to get the covid vaccine as soon as possible but since we moved I don’t know exactly how to get connected to let someone know we are both over 80 and at risk. I will have to research and get info so we can get the shots.
Out house also has had no nibbles but Christmas got into the middle of it being on sale so I am hoping with the new year things will begin to change. There are so many things to worry about and I know I have to just put them out of my mind and keep on keeping on. Sometimes it is just so hard.
I also need to find something to stretch my mind. The doldrums have set in. I will have to find some books that challenge me and get reading. I also received a keyboard for Christmas since I had to let my baby grand piano go. That was as really sad since I have had it since I was 8 years old. It was a part of me. Now I do have something to play besides the guitar and need practice.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself I need to move on and explore what is out there for me. There will be some things that I can do that are fruitful during this time and I have to do them. It is too easy to sit and do nothing except crafting and I have done enough of that. Time to get going!
One of my favorite bloggers posted today about illusions. It reminded me of this quote from the movie Sabrina “Illusions are dangerous people. They have no flaws.”
This is so true. We can easily elevate someone into being a saint. All it takes is distance…or being dead. When we are not around someone they can take on qualities that we give them. Falling in love can make the loved one something they are not. We can give them positive or negative qualities either one being an illusion.
Everyone has good and bad qualities. We need to see people realistically. Believing a false image can cause us to be badly hurt. It can also cause us to hurt someone else. We are flawed creatures and make mistakes. No one is perfect. Remember that.
Recently there was a discussion regarding something related to this quote: “Knowledge is only a rumor until it lives in the bones.” From the Asaro tribe in Papua New Guinea. We were talking about how we don’t really absorb a change of a habit until we live it day by day.
We were talking about habits. Changing habits is a difficult thing. we may want to change but we will continue along the old path unless we act. I often think of it as “act as if.” We may not really incorporate the change into ourselves but we act as if it is already there. We choose to believe it is there and our behavior matches that belief. Day by day, as we continue to do this, the change becomes part of us and a new habit is formed.
Our resolve to make this shift has to be considerable for the change to happen but it can be done. The same is true of a knowledge or belief as in the quote above. It can only change by living it out. Some things can’t be proved but only accepted. My faith is based on “acting as if” every day. There are times when I question but continue to live out my faith as a choice. I have never met anyone who doesn’t question even if they can’t acknowledge it.
This also applies to loving another person. Each day we have to make a choice to love. We may not like the person at the moment or be at odds with them but we can still choose to love. It is a decision not a feeling.
Choose carefully what you wish to change or what you believe or who you love and then live it out.
Yesterday I realized that I was doing too much. The amount of paperwork involved in this move has been totally overwhelming. I was trying so hard to do everything that I was stressing myself beyond my ability to function. So I did the smart thing. I asked for help.
It is not unusual for any of us to think that we can take care of everything and that we don’t need help. “I can handle it!” We don’t want to feel weak or needy but each of us has a limit. We don’t want to ask for help but most of the time it is there if we ask.
My children willing pitched in and took a few of the tasks away and the relief was enormous. Just having a few things gone made a big difference.
We never want to ask for help. We want to be so independent but it is good to ask for help. People are usually very willing to do what they can. I know that I will help wherever I can and most people are the same. Don’t wait until you are at the end of the rope. Call for help and let someone pull you in.
While continuing to separate what is to move with us and what is not I have been going through books. I have so many books and some I refuse to part with. Some I will be sad to lose but will recover.
While doing this I came across the book “If…(questions for the Game of Life) by Evelyn McFarland & James Saywell. This book is really fun to use to spark your imagination and your thinking. Today I pulled out “If you had to choose one country in the world other than the United States to become the only superpower of the twenty-first century, which country would you pick?”
Wow! in the midst of all that is going on a really interesting question. I have recently asked myself if I wanted to live somewhere else where would it be? The politics, anger, violence, attitudes and management of covid has made me to question this country. When I read the question I had to seriously consider. Is there any country whose moral ethos and government functions would I trust with my life? That is so hard. Over the last 6 months or so I have often said I would like to move to Holland or Sweden or Finland, Not having lived there I really can’t gauge how it would be. More recently covid has made me wonder about New Zealand. They have certainly responded to covid with caring for each other.
What do you think? Is there any place you would pick?
All of us are always on a journey. We don’t really know where the journey will take us. That is a mystery that will unfold as we live. To try and force that journey to go a particular way doesn’t always work. Sometimes we may be able to choose a direction. Sometimes, as in the words of Robert Frost, “Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”
Sometimes we are afraid to choose the unfamiliar road. We just like the smooth path we can see in front of us. We feel secure and safe. But life doesn’t always leave it that way.
For many years we have loved following the known road…the one we could see ahead. But now we a called by life to take that other road…the less traveled one…and we will. We are hoping that road will take us to a place of peace and safety but there is no way to know for sure.
Nevertheless we will step out in confidence sure that life is sending us that way. We will miss many things but gain others. This is always the way. The trick is to appreciate what you do have and not what you don’t.
“You cannot sail new oceans if you never lose sight of the shore.” anon