Recently there was a discussion regarding something related to this quote: “Knowledge is only a rumor until it lives in the bones.” From the Asaro tribe in Papua New Guinea. We were talking about how we don’t really absorb a change of a habit until we live it day by day.
We were talking about habits. Changing habits is a difficult thing. we may want to change but we will continue along the old path unless we act. I often think of it as “act as if.” We may not really incorporate the change into ourselves but we act as if it is already there. We choose to believe it is there and our behavior matches that belief. Day by day, as we continue to do this, the change becomes part of us and a new habit is formed.
Our resolve to make this shift has to be considerable for the change to happen but it can be done. The same is true of a knowledge or belief as in the quote above. It can only change by living it out. Some things can’t be proved but only accepted. My faith is based on “acting as if” every day. There are times when I question but continue to live out my faith as a choice. I have never met anyone who doesn’t question even if they can’t acknowledge it.
This also applies to loving another person. Each day we have to make a choice to love. We may not like the person at the moment or be at odds with them but we can still choose to love. It is a decision not a feeling.
Choose carefully what you wish to change or what you believe or who you love and then live it out.
Yesterday I realized that I was doing too much. The amount of paperwork involved in this move has been totally overwhelming. I was trying so hard to do everything that I was stressing myself beyond my ability to function. So I did the smart thing. I asked for help.
It is not unusual for any of us to think that we can take care of everything and that we don’t need help. “I can handle it!” We don’t want to feel weak or needy but each of us has a limit. We don’t want to ask for help but most of the time it is there if we ask.
My children willing pitched in and took a few of the tasks away and the relief was enormous. Just having a few things gone made a big difference.
We never want to ask for help. We want to be so independent but it is good to ask for help. People are usually very willing to do what they can. I know that I will help wherever I can and most people are the same. Don’t wait until you are at the end of the rope. Call for help and let someone pull you in.
While continuing to separate what is to move with us and what is not I have been going through books. I have so many books and some I refuse to part with. Some I will be sad to lose but will recover.
While doing this I came across the book “If…(questions for the Game of Life) by Evelyn McFarland & James Saywell. This book is really fun to use to spark your imagination and your thinking. Today I pulled out “If you had to choose one country in the world other than the United States to become the only superpower of the twenty-first century, which country would you pick?”
Wow! in the midst of all that is going on a really interesting question. I have recently asked myself if I wanted to live somewhere else where would it be? The politics, anger, violence, attitudes and management of covid has made me to question this country. When I read the question I had to seriously consider. Is there any country whose moral ethos and government functions would I trust with my life? That is so hard. Over the last 6 months or so I have often said I would like to move to Holland or Sweden or Finland, Not having lived there I really can’t gauge how it would be. More recently covid has made me wonder about New Zealand. They have certainly responded to covid with caring for each other.
What do you think? Is there any place you would pick?
All of us are always on a journey. We don’t really know where the journey will take us. That is a mystery that will unfold as we live. To try and force that journey to go a particular way doesn’t always work. Sometimes we may be able to choose a direction. Sometimes, as in the words of Robert Frost, “Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”
Sometimes we are afraid to choose the unfamiliar road. We just like the smooth path we can see in front of us. We feel secure and safe. But life doesn’t always leave it that way.
For many years we have loved following the known road…the one we could see ahead. But now we a called by life to take that other road…the less traveled one…and we will. We are hoping that road will take us to a place of peace and safety but there is no way to know for sure.
Nevertheless we will step out in confidence sure that life is sending us that way. We will miss many things but gain others. This is always the way. The trick is to appreciate what you do have and not what you don’t.
“You cannot sail new oceans if you never lose sight of the shore.” anon
We ordered a new lounge chair for my husband from Wayfair. I have ordered from them before and they are great. We were in no hurry for it to come but it took an interesting journey. It traveled! Up and down the country. Not a direct route. It went from the west to the north. The opposite direction to us. Then it took a journey east before starting to turn south. It finally ended up about 10 miles from us where it sat for several days before coming to us. This is a well traveled chair.
Now it is here to travel more with us as we plan for the rest of our lives. A fun start to the new things in front of us. We will be sad to leave this beautiful home that my husband designed for the way we live. It is so perfect but nothing lasts forever. Now perfect is becoming a burden and that changes things.
In life we have to accept what happens as we age and be ready to do what is best instead of holding on to something that no longer works. I have seen too many children having to drag their parents out of a home that is no longer logical. How tragic that is for families and everyone ends up unhappy. We have to know when it is time to choose for ourselves and do it.
If I don’t keep finding things to do, read, and see I will sink into boredom. I have been knitting, crocheting, cooking, reading, watching TV. I don’t want to walk since it is so hot outside but I really need the exercise. I get lots of steps caring for my husband that is one plus. I guess if I were counting steps I would be doing good.
Nevertheless it is hard not to slip into being bored. I don’t think it is because I don’t have anything to do but because I can’t do anything I want. Because of that I feel stifled. I know it is just a state of mind and I’m trying to get around it but it’s not working as well as I would like. Oh well…everyone else is in the same boat. We’re all just getting on with what we can.
I love having my daughters here. They have been a big help. We have accomplished a lot and are moving ahead. It remains to see how Hap’s recovery goes and how far. This will take time.
Once again we are stuck up against all the changes in the ways that society can interact. Around here I see most people wearing masks which wasn’t happening before. Maybe people are finally getting it. I hope it lasts.
We have all been so weighed down and fighting our way of life. Maybe it is time to step into a new mode and learn to fly again. I am realizing that even though there are things that I can’t do there are also things that I can do and I am going to do them.
According to current information I can eat outside at restaurants with distancing from other customers. I will be taking advantage of that. We have many places with the option to eat outdoors. My knitting friends and I can meet wherever we can find a safe place and there actually are some options for that.
So life goes on. And it is up to us to decide how to accept what is….not what we wish it could be.
Life is moving on. My husband is due to come home on Monday. At least that part of life may return to some sort of normal. Even covid is becoming familiar and there is beginning to be a pattern to life. Yes, we are wearing masks (at least some of us), yes things are different…no big gathering of people, careful distancing….but moving on. Maybe things will never be the same but we will find a way to accept what is.
As humans we have the strength to change if we are willing. Each of us will have to make choices that will affect each day but it is up to us.
What is it like when the day begins with no plans? Every day the same. Nothing going on. The sameness creates ennui…nothing creates the desire to do nothing. We have to learn a new way to live.
That is how I was feeling when I got up this morning. Then the light bulb lit up. It is nice outside. Why not have my knit group meet on my porch where we can distance ourselves?
We can talk and knit and discover what has been going on with each other. I am sure we all have stories to tell. So I called them and that is what we are going to do tomorrow morning. We will meet, have lunch, learn the news from each other and feel like life is somewhat normal.
Just sitting in the boredom was definitely not the answer. It was time to do something about it. We just have to do it ourselves and in a safe way because this is how we have to continue. Life goes on.