Too far?

girl in grass holding her smartphone  ordering fast foodSometimes I feel bad about ordering so many things on-line. But the truth is that no only can I get exactly what I want but without spending time hunting for it in the store. I know this is hard on the local merchants but I’m afraid it is going to be the way things go.

As things change we have to find new ways to work with what is happening. I’m sure the industrial revolution made life difficult for the workers who had previously been doing those jobs.

Computers have taken over so much and now on-line shopping is the norm. Even to ordering you food and your meals. The worrysome part is will we never leave our homes? Will be become hermits who live and dies by ourselves. It is a possibility. So much interaction between people is now electronic. We don’t see people face to face.

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Some changes must be made. Mankind is communal and doesn’t function well all alone. Somehow we have to incorporate the changes into our lives but maintain ways to connect face to face.

Keep going

Believe-1-575x675If there is one thing I have learned in the last week it is that a 79 year old does not bounce back. My husband has had several surgeries in the last few years…mostly from jumping out of airplanes in the army. I have had none. I have always been supportive of him during his recoveries but I am not sure I have appreciated just how hard it is to get back to your best you can be.

He has been so supportive and kind to me with this surgery which was not a bad one (as surgeries go), I guess experience is the best teacher.

I have no complaints today other than being tired. I am usually the energizer bunny but have had to listen to my body and rest. I am grateful that everything went so well.

I have always spent a lot of time crossing bridges before getting to them. This time I was better than usual. I think the time I have spent learning new habits and applying the needed skills did make a difference. My journey to be “worryless” is advancing. I’m not at the end but making progress. We can get better but it does take work. Seeing this improvement encourages me to continue my efforts and keep going.

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I think that it is easy to get discouraged when we can’t see progress but it will come with time. Just work your way through one day before considering the next. Things can change.

? The Death Panel?

choices medicalI have been out of the loop for several days. Had thyroid surgery on Friday and am feeling good…just tired. After a fall season of chaos I hope we are moving into a winter season of rest and joy. I now have to catch up on reading everything that I missed.

I hadn’t been involved in the hospital system for a while and had forgotten how dehumanizing it can be. The hospital was good, care was good it is just how the system operates. It is so easy to feel like someone out of one of the dystopian novels. Especially the older ones like 1984 and Soylent Green. It is easy to imagine yourself discovering that the light embedded in your arm has just lit up and it is time for you to go and be floated up to bliss.

It has been under discussion and very much under wraps having a Death Panel decide who will be left to die. The majority of money is spent on end of life care. Sometimes the kind where life is extended but not necessarily for the better.However, judgement needs to be made based on health and choice. If we are lucky the medical system will continue to allow us to make out own choices and not force the elderly but active to be told that nothing is allowed at their age.

Terrible topic. So sorry. It is just something that I know could come if we don’t have a say about what happens.

I promise more pleasant topic tomorrow.

Nothing is perfect

I was speaking to someone today and we were both wondering why our generation (60+) has less trouble tolerating the vagaries and foibles of various churches. We each do not attend one that totally offends us but we take for granted that none is perfect. We just seek out the one whose values are closest to our own.

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I think that over the years I have sought a place where I can feel accepted and supported. I have a need to be in a Christian community. I would imagine that may be true of anyone in any faith. I don’t spend time pointing out my differences of opinion or the places where I see the train running off the track. I am entitled to my own thinking however strange it may be to someone else.

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This way of belonging has taken a big hit. More people are anxious to find differences are dwell on them. It’s as if they don’t want any kind of community. The sad part is I don’t think we are by nature loners. We need others for our survival and sanity. At least I do. When things go wrong in my life it is those others who will help me to weather the storm. They may not all be my very best friends but they will go out of their way to help.

I seems that my generation is more willing to compromise and understands that nothing in the world is perfect.

De-cluttering

This was a productive day. I spent it removing clutter. I don’t do well with lots of clutter in my house but I let it get out of hand and today it was time for it to go! I read something a long time ago about a way to get stuff back in the right place. what I used to do was get something from one room and take it to where it belonged. This took me on a journey from room to room. Not a very efficient way to work.

The suggestion was to take a large container like a basket and in one room pick up everything that doesn’t belong. You then move from room to room putting things away and picking up the things that need to go. It prevents you wasting time. It really works.

I didn’t get everything but I made a really good start. More to tackle tomorrow. My house will be back to ??normal??

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When the clutter is decreased it helps my mind also de-clutter and feel more calm.

Whatever

hourglassThe sun is shining beautifully outside but in here it is raining on me. For the last several months things have been breaking or going wrong around here but it hasn’t stopped yet. I feel as if I am in the bottom of an hourglass just waiting for the sand to cover me. None of the things have been major but they are piling up.

We had a leak on our property and our water bill was enormous. I dropped and broke the glass on my Kindle. It still works so I will see if it can be fixed. I caught the back edge of my car on a bike rack and that has to be fixed. (again no major damage…just aggravating)  My printer quit so I have to get another one. Somehow it is time for this to stop.

On the plus side my grandson, wife and great grandson are coming for Thanksgiving. We are so excited about that. We always have to take the bad with the good.

In spite of all of this the sun is shining and life goes on. I realize that perspective is everything. If our expectations are that everything will always go well we are in for a big shock. I think that is why we can be so disappointed. Our expectations are so far off from reality. It is how I choose to live each day not what happens. Many of the things that have gone wrong will be funny when they are in the past.

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Choose to roll with whatever happens. It makes us happier.

People matter

expect-e1573855705917.jpgToday is my 79th birthday. I was hoping that it would be a good day but my hope was in vain. While backing out of a parking place my car caught on someones bike rack and pulled loose a part of the side panel on my car.

This is my favorite car that I have ever had. It is not going to be difficult or expensive to fix as it looks as if it just needs to be popped back but it really got to me. I don’t know if it’s because I was expecting a good day or if it is because the car is my favorite.

It is not usual for me to be so upset about something like that but I am. Just one of those days.

 

I have talked to many times about how life is never boring and here it is again. The fact that it is not boring can be because of something good or something bad. Today it was something bad. We will get the car fixed and all will be well. Now all I have to do is get myself back to a better state of mind. By tomorrow this will just be a bump in the road. After all, for me, it is not things that are important but people. Remember that when things go wrong that can be dealt with.

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People matter!

My list

I have gotten better about some things as I have aged. On Friday I will turn 79 years young. The year before eighty. It seems like a milestone. It has made me think about the things I really can do something about and came up with this list.

  1. My choices and actions
  2. My attitudes and priorities
  3. The people that I chose to be with
  4. How I use my resources both physical things, my energy and my emotions

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These are the things that I have some control over. Anything else is not something I need to worry about, stew over or waste time on.

Now the only things I need to do is to stick to this list.

Life and death

Years ago I was distressed by  a family’s loss. In an auto accident one young daughter was killed. I felt that her life had been cut short. A minister friend had a different perspective. He felt that each of us has a life span that is ours alone….just as we are all individuals.

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I was reading a novel today and came across a similar thought that was attributed to the Gullah people of coastal South Carolina and Georgia. The book is “Gullah Secrets” by Susan Gabriel. Living near and having cared for Gullah people I have always respected their wisdom.

An elderly Gullah woman says: “Like a story, every life on earth has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Sometimes a story lasts only hours. Sometimes days, years, or decades……It is not about the lucky or the unlucky. The good or the evil…..Life and death are in an eternal dance just like that whirlwind. Wind and sand. Sand and wind. A dance across time.”

This vision of each of our lives is comforting to me. My birth and death are mine and are as unique as I am. Life and death. They both continue.

 

 

There is more to learn

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Yesterday we had a high in the 80’s. Last night it went down to 45. For us that is winter. Where is fall? I actually enjoy the cooler weather and look forward to having a fire in the fireplace.

One of the most difficult things about growing older is when you begin losing friends and contemporaries. Going to funerals is not much fun. The only blessing is that most of them have lived good, fruitful lives. You can be grateful for the time you have known them and the joy they have brought to life.

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I don’t mean to sound depressing. Most of the time growing older feels to be just another phase of life. It has some incredible joys and blessings. I have experienced so much and learned so much and writing has allowed me to continue to share. I try to appreciate each day. One of the hardest things is to learn to live fully each and every day. Time is not to be wasted but experienced. If only we could learn to let go of living in the past or the future and just be where we are at the moment.