Christmas is coming. Do you believe it? Maybe this year we will be forced to think about what it means instead of stressing out about details. We never seem to get our priorities right. I just can’t get started. Today I realized I have not even heard a Christmas carol. I usually hear them riding in the car to shop or visit but I haven’t been anywhere.
Sometimes I wonder what we will talk about when this disease is relegated to the back pages. I guess we will reminisce about the year 2020.
Last night I had a dream about trying to cook at meal, at the last minute, for a large group of family members. It seemed to be partly my fault that it was last minute but I couldn’t find the right things to cook. It was in the kitchen I grew up in and everything was wrong. The meat was huge and had to be cut up to cook but looked like nothing I have ever seen before.
I have always had lots of odd dreams and this one was not unusual but I wondered where my mind was headed and if I could connect it with anything going on in my life. Maybe it does in some ways. I do keep trying to get things done and it seems that everything is so difficult. Nothing goes easy. That may not be that unusual but is being amplified by covid.
The frustration of the whole situation, my husband’s illness, covid and all that goes with it are getting old. I am not the only one who is feeling this way and waiting for some good news. It will come….please let me hold on until it does.
I don’t know that any of us have ever been through this kind of situation. We were not alive for the last pandemic and waiting for it to end had to be much worse. Now we will always remember this year and those who come behind us will hear us talk about what happened.
If, before going to be every night, you will tear a page from the calendar, and remark.’There goes another day of my life, never to return,’ you will become time conscious.
A.B. Zu Tavern
I’m not sure we take much notice of the passing of time. We say time flies. It certainly seems to. Months fly by with hardly a notice. Someone once told me that time passes faster for us as we grow older because we pay less attention to each day. Yet each day is unique. Each moment is different and we will never have it again.
Don’t let time fly by without notice. Remind us to savor each moment and savor each day.
As a nurse there is one thing that I have learned well….not everything can be fixed. Often people grow up with the idea that there is nothing that can’t be solved in some way. Working in the hospital it is evident that things go wrong, people die, life is not perfect.
We live in a world where we expect everything to be fixed. Get a headache take a pill. Go to the doctor..get a diagnosis..get fixed. We don’t want to wait for anything. We want everything to be done at once.
Because of that this time is a real eye opener for some. I can’t go to the store and expect to find everything I need. I can’t hop in my car and go out to a restaurant. Everything I want is not available. What a shock.
I was born a year before Pearl Harbor. I don’t remember much about the war as I was very young but I do remember rationing. You couldn’t get everything you wanted. Gas was limited so you couldn’t go where you wanted all the time. We mostly stayed home. My father was working on the pentagon (construction contractor) and was exempt from going to war. This grieved him and he tried several times to go but to no avail.
My parents built a house shortly before the war began. They had extra rooms and took in war wives whose husband were overseas. They lived with us throughout the war. That was the environment I grew in. We were comfortable but certainly weren’t able to choose the life we wanted to live. I was blessed with a sense of extended family and lots of love but we lived in frightening times. Even as a small child I could sense that angst.
This time reminds me of those days. Something from my distant memory pulls feelings from the past. Those feelings are attached to the way things are now. Just like that time we can’t fix it. We just have to wait it out and live with whatever comes afterward.
Remember…patience, patience and waiting. It can’t be fixed but it can be endured and lived beyond.
“All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.”
― Julian of Norwich
I have this quote hanging where I can see it when at my desk. It is so powerful. There is always so much that we don’t or can’t understand and we can chew on it over and over. Rilke says that we have to let it go and gradually we will be able to live into the answers.
If we persist chewing on them we can’t move forward. We have to LIVE today. We can’t be obsessing over things we don’t understand. Let it go.
Our 2019 ended….badly. Our 21 year old granddaughter was in a serious auto accident and ended up in surgery. She was very blessed that when the surgeons went in the only thing damaged was her spleen. Her spleen was removed and she is recovering. She does have a bruised lung which makes breathing painful. It will be a few days in the hospital barring any infection or other problem.
This was early in the day and was not alcohol related with either driver.
Life is so fragile. One moment everything is fine and the next it can be taken away at the snap of a finger. It truly reminds me to treasure each and every day. Even when things are not perfect it is still life!
If only we could live so that we don’t let our minds move us into places we don’t need to go. The worries and anxieties can remove all the joy and we spend each day struggling.
Just to live each day in thanksgiving and peace. That is really the driving force behind worry less journey. To worry less and experience joy and peace more.
Well Christmas is over. It will come again next year.Now we need to think about what lies ahead. It’s been hard for me to think of what’s next. I know I will go back to my Community Conferencing. I know that there are other things that I have been doing that I will keep on doing.Writing is 1 of the most important of those.
It is a joy to be able to share my experiences and my thoughts. It is a joy to have a community so caring. Each of us has a story to tell. It is important to share that story so it maybe help other people.We learn from the experiences of others and ourselves.
1 of the lessons that I have learned in recent years is that things change frequently. The only thing consistent is change.We have to adapt To live.Without Gaining the strength and courage to move forward each day we would not be able to survive. Life is a challenge but it is also a joy. Each moment is precious And should be savored.
Remember that life is a gift.We are so blessed to have the opportunity to live each day. Don’t take that gift for granted. It can be taken away so easily. Love each and every day to the fullest. Even if it’s a struggle continue to move on.
I ran across this quote recently and it brought up some memories.
I wonder what it would be like to live in a world where it was always June.
L. M. Montgomery
For a while we lived in Panama. It was June there all year round. The only changes were the difference between the we season and the dry season. There was very little difference in temperature. We lived in military housing that was built many years ago of concrete. The buildings were raised up on concrete posts so that the main floor was on the second floor. I am assuming they did this to get it away from the many creatures that lived there. There was a maid’s room on the ground floor. ( didn’t have a full time maid) and underneath the house is where we hung our clothes to dry. (I’m sure no one remembers doing that) During the rainy season the clothes didn’t dry for days so that is when we first bought a dryer.
The houses had louvered windows and screens. Most of the people who lived there put plastic over the windows, heavy draperies and installed window air conditioners. That worked pretty well. The only problem was that since the wall were concrete you couldn’t hang pictures except with stick-on picture hangers. (not the good ones we have today) The power went out frequently and if it was out for long the walls began to sweat and all the pictures fell off the walls.
I will write some more about this adventure later but I do want to say that I grew tired of wearing the same clothes all year around. I am afraid I like at least some semblance of season change.
I have gotten better about some things as I have aged. On Friday I will turn 79 years young. The year before eighty. It seems like a milestone. It has made me think about the things I really can do something about and came up with this list.
My choices and actions
My attitudes and priorities
The people that I chose to be with
How I use my resources both physical things, my energy and my emotions
These are the things that I have some control over. Anything else is not something I need to worry about, stew over or waste time on.
Now the only things I need to do is to stick to this list.
Years ago I was distressed by a family’s loss. In an auto accident one young daughter was killed. I felt that her life had been cut short. A minister friend had a different perspective. He felt that each of us has a life span that is ours alone….just as we are all individuals.
I was reading a novel today and came across a similar thought that was attributed to the Gullah people of coastal South Carolina and Georgia. The book is “Gullah Secrets” by Susan Gabriel. Living near and having cared for Gullah people I have always respected their wisdom.
An elderly Gullah woman says: “Like a story, every life on earth has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Sometimes a story lasts only hours. Sometimes days, years, or decades……It is not about the lucky or the unlucky. The good or the evil…..Life and death are in an eternal dance just like that whirlwind. Wind and sand. Sand and wind. A dance across time.”
This vision of each of our lives is comforting to me. My birth and death are mine and are as unique as I am. Life and death. They both continue.