This journey that we have been on for the last year has changed me in many ways. I have felt myself stretching and discovering. I have had to learn things I needed to know since my husband could not longer help. I have been blessed that I managed the finances (mostly) all along so that was something I didn’t have to struggle with.
When you have been living with someone as long as we have you develop patterns and really become unaware of how much you depend on the other person and the things they do. I have learned to be so grateful for the things my husband has done over the years and truly miss his help although he is now able to help some.
All of our lives we are people in transition. We are growing, learning and hopefully gaining wisdom. I was raised in a family that taught that people are more important than things and our home has always been open to others both as a refuge and a fun place to be. We have nurtured many over the years and hope to continue to do so. Our hearts have always been open to love those around us and that will also continue.
Our journey is continuing and will until we leave this earth and maybe even after. My husband and I are still “becoming.”
It has been interesting to see on local world wide media that since the covid outbreak the environment seems to be improving. Some animal species that were on the way down are increasing. Animals that haven’t been seen in some area for quite a while are not being spotted.
Not only is wildlife changing but air quality, flora growth, and other indicators of positive change are happening. It is too bad that when this all dies down we will proceed to make these changes go away. I wish we could keep on causing improvements. I hope someone is smart enough to see this and point it out to the world at large. I am but one but I am one and I am saying keep this going!
Maybe if others join me we can star a whole new trend.
Sometimes I forget to not leap ahead of myself but just concentrate on one thing at a time. Getting one thing done feels good. When I do I stop obsessing on the things not done.
A long time ago I worked for a company that handled case management for insurance companies. As nurses, we reviewed medical information and (the company was a good one) usually recommended doing the right thing. It costs less in the long run and that was how we explained it backing it up with figures.
While there a huge caseload was brought on to do with workers compensation from the state of Texas. I was handed that account. It was overwhelming. The amount of files on my desk was tremendous and daunting. After struggling with how to handle it I took the files and adjusted by date it came in and status of the patient. I stacked them up that way and just pulled one at a time. It was amazing how much I was able to get done once I stopped obsessing over how much there was.
Now as I face dealing with my husband’s medical issues I have realized that I have to do the same thing. Instead of worrying (useless) I have evaluated what needs to be done in what order and have started contacting doctors ect., setting appointments and moving ahead. We will solve things one at a time.
This has been a good day. We spent some time outside and the weather is beautiful. I cleaned out my bird bath and fixed the simple drip fountain I made from a watering can. I even caught a drip in the photo! Since I am no photographer that is amazing.
The birds love it and I can see it from inside and while sitting on the porch. We are blessed to have this wonderful spot left to me by my grandparents.
Hopefully we will be able to stay here a while longer although the property is difficult to care for and the taxes keep going up.
It is wonderful to be able to spend time outside.
This was the good part of the day. The other part was that I discovered that Facebook thinks that I am posting inappropriate material on this blog and I can’t post to them with the link.
However, sneaky person that I am I am copying the post and posting it anyway. I have asked for reviews of the things they have blocked but don’t really know how to get this problem fixed. They allow my heargodinothervoices.blog. It is interesting what they felt was not good. At least my last five posts have been blocked. Don’t you just love the craziness?
Spending time outdoors seems to clear my fogged mind and renew my spirit. I will have a good walk tomorrow with the dogs. If you are able get outdoors. It will blow the cobwebs away.
Today I have been watching “The Story of God” with Morgan Freeman. This is an excellent program that discusses world wide ideas of the origins of our ideas about God. Any form, any religion.
In the one I just watched he talked about various peoples belief of “the apocalypse.” He mentioned that the original root of the word actually was not connected to a kind of catastrophe. Originally the word was quite different and I love the initial meaning and the ideas that it brings forth.
“Apocalypse” (ἀποκάλυψις) is a Greek word meaning “revelation”, “an unveiling or unfolding of things not previously known and which could not be known apart from the unveiling”. As a genre, apocalyptic literature details the authors’ visions of the end times as revealed by an angel or other heavenly messenger.”
For me apocalypse has always been seen as a negative word. One that brought forth ideas of the earth on fire, wars everywhere and horrible destruction. How interesting that a word that we connect with end times started out with such a different meaning. I am caught by the thought that it is an unveiling. It is a deeper understanding of things. A revelations of things that we have not been able to see. This does not seem at all negative to me but a seeking for universal truths. Unveiling answers that we struggle to understand.
I am glad to learn this new meaning. I also recommend this series. Take a look at it on Netflix.
Sometimes while thinking about our life we can see the places where we went off the track. It can be quite disturbing. Often we don’t want to open the doors of those closets where we have stored our missteps. The truth is that is how we learn. Looking back we can usually see very clearly how we stumbled off the path. The good news is we can also see how we got back on it.
Don’t be afraid to throw open the doors of your mental closets, sweep out the dirt, and leave it clean. Each day of life is an opportunity to learn something new. Take advantage of it.
There is something about music that moves my soul. Music can take me to another place quickly. Many times music will touch a place inside and bring me to tears. There are so many kinds of music that I like. There are very few that don’t touch me in some way.
Music can lift us when we are down. It does have to be the right thing. Listening to something depressing when you are already sad is a mistake. There are some songs that just force you to feel better especially if you sing along.
I will never forget the Muppets singing about being mad. I made sure that my children learned that song and could sing it when angry. I seemed to bring perspective to those feelings.
We also don’t teach as much with music as we could. I have a song taught by a college biology professor that I have never forgotten. My children can still sing the preamble to the constitution learned in Schoolhouse Rock. I recently learned that one of my favorite people here in Savannah was key to creating that series. His talent was amazing. He is now gone by never forgotten. His name was Ben Tucker, a bass player who player with almost all the old jazz groups, and knew everyone in the music world.
Music helps us to learn and I still wonder why learning this way isn’t used more. If you didn’t grow up hearing those teaching moments here is an example.
We are surrounded by mystery. Though hard for us to accept we don’t have control over many things. We would like to be in control. We yearn to be in control but ultimately we are not.
We prefer to make decisions trusting that they will happen as we planned. We make judgments about right and wrong, about people, about events. We can make quick certain and smug judgments. We are so sure that our way is the right way. We are sure that life will follow the path we have set. We are so wrong.
This inability to accept our powerlessness can make us blind and unwilling to see the truth. We can say “don’t bother me with the truth, I want to be in control.” We see ourselves as all knowing. We cover our heads and stick with own ideas. This action leads to a lack of willingness to see any other way. It makes us unable to have compassion for others and their thoughts and ideas.
We choose not to see our own biases, imperfections and wrongness. We do not look deep inside ourselves to find the “shadow self” who hides there.
There is so much that we do not know or understand. Pat answers lead us nowhere. We have to see the world as it is in all its mystery. We have to be willing to step out into the unknown. We have to face doubt and fear and understand that they are part of life.
We must learn to accept the ambiguous and the anxiety it can cause. To not know the answers is understandable in the world we inhabit. I don’t think we will ever have all the answers and the truth is we don’t have to know.
I didn’t write yesterday as I came home exhausted from taking a class on Community Conferencing. This is a program that works with the school, courts, police, to deflect teens with offences to a resolution process instead of getting them into the system. The trainers told us that where they are teens who have been through this process are 60% less likely to re-offend. I will see how this works for me.
One of the people who was also training told us about a way she looks at people’s differences and how they live. She broke it down into this.
Tolerance: She is tolerant of how others live and their opinions.
Acceptance: She will accept that the way may not be her way.
Approval: This is where she steps back and feels she doesn’t have to approve.
This makes so much sense to me. I may not agree with you but I can be tolerant about your life and your opinions and accept that you want to live that way but I don’t have to approve of it.
This is a way to break it down into pieces and be a tolerant and accepting person without agreeing with what it is. There are people who I love but cannot approve of their lifestyle. For me, it is usually when I see it as hurtful to them or others.
This may not work or help some people but for me It was sort of an “aha” moment. Another tool to put in my toolbox and help me understand and move on.