It’s time for me to think about the blessings in my life. I have lived 81 years with lots of love and caring both me for others and others for me. I was blessed by wonderful parents and grew up feeling safe and loved. In today’s world not many can say that.
I am living in a place that will keep me safe and secure for the rest of my days. Not many people can say that. I have so much to be thankful for.
It is so easy to get in the habit of dealing with the negatives in our lives and not spend any time think about what is good. We all have heard that we should concentrate daily on the good things but we let the bad take over.
I want to begin anew my “worry less journey” learning to be grateful each day. The down times may try to pull me away but I will find ways to let it go.
This very old song sums up my thoughts. (Johnny Mercer was a native from where I lived.. Savannah Ga)
Sometimes the simplest things help us more than anything. Last week I did something that made me feel happy. I had my nails done. A very small thing but I haven’t done this in several years. I didn’t have to do it but it made me feel spoiled and happy. This is not something that I will do all the time but this simple thing was important. My mood lightened and I felt so good about it.
There are many times where doing something just for ourselves can make a big difference. Take the time to recognize when you need to treat yourself…whether is it a bubble bath, a walk in the woods, or visiting a friend. It can make a huge difference!
Another day is fading into night. It reminds me of the “gloaming” and I love the image. I continue to move ahead each day trusting that my path will unfold before me. I still struggle to stop worrying about what tomorrow will bring. Both my husband and my mother frequently chastised me to not let the future ruin the present. They were both so good at living in the day. May I too learn to do the same.
I have been reading the most amazing book by Brene” Brown “Atlas of the Heart.”(Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience) I have read one other book of hers and will be getting her previous ones.
I have always been a person to share my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I got hurt…sometimes it lead to a closer connection. In this book she explores deeply how word meanings and our interpretation of them can so alter what we hear and feel. She is honest about herself and her own failings and writes for real people. She talks about how constantly comparing ourselves with others gives us a dilemma. We are caught between two scenarios. She says: “Comparison is the crush of conformity from one side and competition from the other –it’s trying to simultaneously fit in and stand out.” I don’t think I have ever heard it put so well.
This book will be giving me things to think about for a long time. It is well worth the read.
Memories are interesting things. I attended a conference by a professor from Emory a while back. She was studying how our memories can change. Over time they may not be a accurate as we think. We have seen that in people who have had to testify in court about a certain incident. Our memories are colored by many things.
In my life I have noticed that some memories are connected to outside stimuli. So many memories are brought back by music (auditory), scents and touch. These physical aspects are inextricably connected and when we hear a song or touch something soft or smell some familiar scent memories come flooding back.
There are a things that we remember specifically because they were connected to our senses…especially music. In my work as a Parish Nurse I saw that people whose memories were lost recognized familiar hymns and could sing them. They also remembered things like The Lord’s Prayer and the 23rd Psalm. All of these things were joined with emotional experiences and totally imprinted.
My mother only wore one kind of perfume..Bellodgia by Caron. Whenever I smell this perfume I not only recognize it but immediately find memories of my mother come flooding back. Some song bring back memories of my teen years and I can scarcely hear certain songs without being connected to the past.
I have no idea how accurate these memories are but I embrace them and accept them as they are. I hope I never stop finding these connections to my past.
Sometimes I just don’t know what to write. Life can be so confusing. So much has gone one in my life over the last year and 1/2 that it will take some time to process. It seems that life goes faster the older we get. We don’t stop to savor each moment like we did as children. I would like to relearn that ability and I think it is possible to do so.
As I look out my windows I see hills and trees and rain clouds. There are houses where others live out their own lives. Will they stop and see time rushing by? I hope so. It is such a gift to have those memories from the times we did pay attention.
We see so often “take time to smell thee roses” but we often don’t do that. As I continue my journey I want to savor every moment. Life it too short. Don’t waste it.
Today things are better. It is easy for them to be better as several days ago was really awful. My IBSD was so bad that I had a panic attack which I haven’t done for years. I am sure that all the changes in my life brought this on and my comping skills were at the bottom. I did take things into my own hands and go to the doctor and now things are leveling off. God willing, I will continue to improve.
It is so nice have have this space to share something that I can’t share with many. It has been a safe place for me for quite a while. Thank you to all of you who have been so supporting and kind. It is a blessing to be able to share here.
Yesterday I had a real treat. My family and I went to a Renaissance festival near Austin. The day was perfect…breezy and just the right temperature. There were people there but not so many that you couldn’t keep a safe distance. I have never been to one of those but it was really fun. We spent most of the day just walking around, watching people, seeing many people in costumes and lots of venders of antique looking stuff. I got home refreshed, tired and filled with joy at being out and about.
My daughter decided that after all that we have been through recently it was time for a break. She rented a few days in a wonderful VBRO (Vacation Rental By Owner) very near to us. She felt, rightly, that just changing the scenery for a few day would make a big difference. It has. Here are a few photos from where we are staying.
Today there was a quote on the blog “idealideas” on Word Press that really caused me to think. “A good change is a short term inconvenience for a long term solution.”
It made me see that my husband and I have done the right thing. We are aiming for the long term solution. Right now we are in the short term inconvenience. Hopefully it will not last too long but after this we will hopefully be where we can stay permanently. That will be a wonderful thing. Sometimes it feels like this is stressful and unreasonable but it really is not. It is just that with covid and trying sell a house it seems like it will go on forever.
Sometimes life can be really hard to take and difficult to understand but it is how we deal with it that matters. Keeping your resolve is not easy but worth it in the long run. I know that this time will pass but at times that is hard to believe. We just have to keep on.