A pause

I have been home too much lately. When this happens I lose my perspective.  Things start to close in on me and I spend too much time in my head.

Ennui

 

The house is quiet

life is in abeyance

lightening flashes

outside

 

And yet

I don’t see

the storm

coming

 

The storm

is outside

and inside

I am numb

 

 

Celebrate today

It is important to live your life. Every single day is important. It doesn’t matter if the day is bad or good. You are still alive. At some time in everyone’s life we realize that there are more days behind us than ahead. Sometimes this realization is hard to take but life is still out there.

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If I sit in my chair and sink into sadness or depression because I have acknowledged this fact then I miss today and the days that are ahead of me. What a waste that would be. Many people in my life are gone. To not live each day and wring every bit of joy out of it would be a disservice to them. They don’t have more days but I do.

Most of them lived full lives and showed me, by example, how to live with all the passion you can muster…..no matter the circumstances.

Dale-Carnegie-Today-is-life

Today is the day that I have in front of me. It may be good, it may not. That doesn’t matter. What matters is that I experience it…that I live it fully, consciously, and lovingly. That is the only thing to do. If I do that the rest of my days, however many, will have meaning.

Beautiful day!

It is so beautiful out today that it is hard to believe. In May we had weather that was like August and now it is like May out. There is a wonderful breeze and sitting here on the porch is heaven. I have so much more energy when the heat lets us get outdoors. I have been on the porch almost all day. Even mopping the deck was not a chore.

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Tillie decided to join me but of course after I put the rug back. Bassets don’t do uncomfortable.

I put out more bird feed and some squirrel feed. I try to keep the squirrel feeder full to keep the squirrels away from the porch. They make such a mess.

squirrel eating

It is amazing how much difference can be made in how we feel when the weather is wonderful. The tide is coming in and soon the muddy parts of the marsh will disappear. Our daily tide change is around 7 feet so when the water moves it is almost impossible to swim against it. When our children were young we taught them if they were caught in the tide to go with it to another dock, climb out and walk back. It can be dangerous if you are not aware of its strength. We also have extremely salty water. When you swim and get out and dry you can see salt on your body.

There are lots of things I could be doing inside but i’m not moving. This amazing coolness will not last and I am soaking it up while I can.

Life has meaning

I read a blog today that was an interesting discussion. There was much back and forth about life and death. It was quite technical. At some point a meaningful life was mentioned and it seemed to me to most participants completely let that drop for more esoteric thoughts.

life meaning

I am totally concerned about life having meaning. At this time in my life I have no doubts that mine does. This may be hubris on my part but over the years I can see where something that I did or said changed something or someone. I have had people that I don’t even remember who they are come up and say that I changed their life. I can’t remember what I said or did but that doesn’t matter. Somehow, at the time, I was blessed with the right thing to say. Does this mean that I am special? No way. I was just a catalyst…a stop on the road.

For me, these are the things that make life meaningful. Was I able to help someone? Was I in the right place at the right time? Did the right things come to me out of the blue? Yes! It was not me. It was God, or a higher power, or coincidence. Whatever works for you. But this is what helps me to understand how our lives are meaningful.

sharing love

Loving, giving and sharing our stories and our pains helps others along the path. Because of this I can know that even when I messed up my life has had meaning. I plan to keep on loving and giving until the day I die.

The wildflowers

Today I had to drive to the other side of town. Not a big deal since Savannah is not that widespread. On the way I saw that the Highway medians had not been cut. there were beautiful wild flowers blooming in them, It was such a beautiful site and gladdened my heart. They were not planted but come up on their own. I hope the powers that be decided to wait to mow until they are gone.

I love flowers and the wild ones tell us that nature is always working to beautify the earth. We humans can never match that. Here in Holy Week for us Christians it is wonderful to see the resurrection that nature provides.

wildflowers

I was unable to take photos since I couldn’t stop but I wish I had. They looked a little bit like this. Maybe next time I will be able to get a photo.

Enjoy the wildflowers while they last.

Remember when?

A friend and I were reminiscing yesterday and I wanted to share some memories from the “ancient person.”

I remember lying in front of our fireplace and listening to the radio. Yes radio! Fun programs like “Let’s pretend, The Shadow, Fibber Magee and Molly, and many more. There was something enchanting about picturing the stories in your own mind.

I remember watching TV for the first time. Of course black and white, tiny screen.

parents-with-three-children-watching-television

I remember playing outside in the twilight..Kick the Can, Hide and Seek.

milk truckI remember visiting my Aunt and seeing the horse drawn milk delivery truck. The horse knew the route and moved to the next stop while the man took the milk to the door and picked up the empty bottles to be washed and used again. She lived in what was a small town at that time.

 

I remember standing in my front yard (on a main highway) and watching convoys of military vehicles going to a nearby post. I was quite young but still remember this from WWII.

I remember hanging clothes on the line outside to dry and running to bring them in if it started to rain.

I remember, in my teens, taking a bus to Washington DC, (we lived in the suburbs) and visiting the museums and Smithsonian. Taking the bus home and being perfectly safe.

I remember watching the McCarthy hearings and being upset that people could be treated that way.

It was a different view of the world.

Coincidence?

I don’t believe in coincidences. For me, it seems that the things that happen are meant to be. I guess I believe in Karma, fate, destiny and the arangels. If this seems naive then so be it. So many things have happened in my life that would be incredulous without this belief.

coincidence

I had retired from nursing and was just enjoying the time. One day I decided to read the newspaper. (I never do that!). Even more unbelievable I read the want ads. There was an add for a Parish Nurse. I had heard about this movement to join nursing with church life and had been very interested but never thought about actually doing it. The add asked for a reply to email which I did stating that I did not want a job but a ministry.

I was called and asked to interview. The job was part time, a two year grant to start and run a program and teach the idea across all denominations in my town. Good so far. I was then told that the pilot program would be hosted by a church where my Aunt was a member and where a “kissing cousin” worked part time as a visitation minister. I had been to that church often and in a town with many churches this was amazing.

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I took the job and after two years was hired by the church to continue. Twenty years later I retired.

Too many “coincidences” for me to swallow.

What do you think?

Small things matter

maxineI am not fond of new years resolutions. I probably never kept one that I planned. If I did I would be surprised.  But…I have been thinking. Maybe  there is something else that we should due to usher in the new year. How would it be if we spent time thinking about life in the past year or years. Are there things that we can divest ourselves of? Do we own things that are no longer used or don’t matter? Can welighten our load and let some things go?

Also, how would you like to live in the new year? Not hunting for goals and major changes but what are some little things that may in the long run have a big impact? It might be some as simple as trying a new coffee shop  or stretching before getting up. Think of the things that are easy and simple. Put a smiling face on your mirror or splurge on a great smelling soap.

small things

It is amazing how simple changes can impact our lives. I bought a set of squeezable fidgets for my desk and I love them! I find myself defusing by just holding one of those in my hand. Those tiny animals have changed each day for the better.

Each year life changes in one way or another. See if you can find small ways to improve your days and give you something to look forward to.

Find Peace

Peace. How much weight is carried by that word. What does it mean to be at peace? I have come to the conclusion it has to do with accepting life as it is. The ability to see each thing that opens for us as part of life and be in accord with it.

It sounds so easy. Unfortunately it’s not. How often do we spend time bemoaning what has happened or obsessing about it? So much energy is expended worrying and planning. Think how easy life would be if we could just let go.

Peace                                                                                                                                            the quiet of a starry night                                                                                                        a moment in time

the comfort                                                                                                                                       of a warm bed                                                                                                                                on a cold night

a dog’s welcome                                                                                                                          after a long day                                                                                                                          of stress and pain

the sound of ocean waves                                                                                                           as they caress the shore                                                                                                             and the foam gently touches my feet

the Christmas lights                                                                                                                 twinkling in joy                                                                                                                         for the season of love

the quiet of snow                                                                                                                silencing the world                                                                                                                       and turning it white 

these thing bring                                                                                                                        calm to my body                                                                                                                          and peace to my soul                                                                                                          

Time moves on

sad season

This week I have been sad. I don’t know if it was my birthday and getting older or the autumn and the darkness. It could be all of the above. It has brought to mind some things that I used to do and don’t any more.

I used to bake for Christmas. I made lots of sweets for everyone.  I no longer have someone to bake for. The two of us have no desire to eat lots of Christmas sweets. My grandchildren are grown up (all except one who is in his teens) and not around to bake for or with. It was fun to make treats with my children and grandchildren.

For some reason I stopped sending Christmas cards. Our years of moving around made me lose track of many people. Our life is different now and it seems that there are many people who don’t send cards. In a way that is a regret. It was a job to get them done but a wonderful way to keep in touch.

I don’t have as much money to spend on gifts and so I try to be resourceful and creative in the things I find. This has been a plus as it has helped me to spend time on what really matters. It also reminds me of those who have nothing.

Again, life changes and we have to experience each phase. We can’t opt out if we plan to live on. Getting older can present challenges but so do other phases of life. To really live we have to seize each moment and know it will not come again.

time moves

Even though I have been sad sometimes sad can be a season of remembrance. It can be a time when we think about how different things are and plan to choose to live this moment. In this season of darkening skies and leaves falling life continues. Winter will follow and spring and on and on. The world is turning, time goes forward and I am still here to see it.