Every day is different. Today was a better than good day. That’s the way life is. You never know what is coming next. It is the uncertainty that gets us.
Not knowing answers to problems is the thing that is hard to take. I don’t think anyone likes it. When we can see the path in front of us life seems so much easier. We just want someone to turn the lights on the path so we can see ahead.
However, there are so many times in life when that is not possible. No matter what we always live without knowing what is ahead. The difference is we think that we do. We can see the day ahead with all its plans and we think that is what will happen. the truth is there are no guarantees. It’s funny how we perceive that we have control but really don’t. It is an important lesson learned when we realize that.
I hate sharing that things have been difficult at my house but I will share some of my thoughts. It seems it is necessary for me to write since that is my outlet.
My husband has not really recovered from his hospital stay. Initially his mental status was almost back to where he was but that has not lasted. He wavers from day to day. Some days are good and some are not.
The virus has made seeing doctors and determining the problem almost impossible. We move ahead one day and fall back the next. The hospital lost some of his ID’s and we just managed to replace his military ID thanks to the wonderful staff at the nearest post. They made getting a new one so easy! One thing accomplished.
As we manage appointments and see doctors as possible we will get closer to some resolution. Knowing what is going on will be so helpful. This day to day fluctuation is so frustrating.
We are keeping on keeping on and I know that someday there will be answers. This would happen when there is so little to do about it. If only we could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know there is a light!
For those of us that are at high risk for getting this virus this situation is causing more and more concern. I now have a smoke alarm beeping up high where I will need to get a tall ladder to stop it. I have tried changing these before and I can never get them back in. Since we can’t go out and we can’t let anyone in I will just pull the battery out and leave it. This is really a minor problem but I wonder how many folks like us are starting to face issues much more serious than this.
I am very able to climb the ladder but there are so many who can’t without risk of falling. What other home problems are the elderly facing that may be dangerous? We are certainly learning what a pathogen like this can do. I do worry about what is next.
The days slip by and all seem more or less the same. I once read something that said change things up each day to make them stand out. Then it will seem that things are more interesting. It may only be driving to work a different way. That made sense. When I was still working I sometimes had no idea how I got to work. I knew I drove there but that’s about all.
We do have to be intentional about paying attention to life even when the days can blend into one another. Yesterday I baked bread and today I worked in the yard. That helps me remember those two days. If I just sit and watch TV then nothing is different.
Even in this covid time take time to make changes each day. Do something that makes that day memorable. It doesn’t have to be spectacular but just something to mark the day.
When we drift into same, same, same it is easy to feel depressed and anxious. Just a walk outside to watch the birds will help.
Most of us are suffering from cabin fever or worse. We so need human touch. For those of us who are completely alone it is a devastating time. It is easy to fall into periods of depression and anxiety. We are not meant to be alone. One of the worst punishments for prisoners is spending a long time in isolation.
I am going to suggest something that sounds totally ridiculous. You have to hug yourself. I am talking about physically putting your arms around yourself and squeezing tight. Stay that way for a while and repeat often. As strange as it seems it will help.
I wish that this quiet time away from the busy world was one that I could enjoy but not to be. My husband is still in care. He’s physically all right but still not mentally well. He is better. It is just so hard not knowing how this will all come out.
I don’t know if I will have the man I knew or someone else. Things will work out but the uncertainty of it all is harrowing. At this point the virus is of less concern to me. During this time not only has the world outside of my own surroundings changed but also inside my circle. Many people are caught in this. I am not the only one struggling. Some have more grievous things to bear.
I seem to do really well for a while and then I falter. I suppose this will continue until there are some answers forthcoming. Waiting has never been my strong suit. I am certainly learning to endure patience.
It will be different for us when we come out of this. I pray there will not be another pandemic coming any time soon and that we can be better prepared. Everyone is blaming everyone else the world over but I remember hearing some words of Pope Francis pointing out that if we all blame someone else them we have to accept that all of us are to blame. There are certainly judgement errors aplenty to share.
We must change. We must understand the nature of the damage we have done to the earth. Soon it will be too late and we must live with the guilt about what we are leaving our great grandchildren. We have to learn to live together over the whole world or there is no hope.
I pray that we can.
Another day in this upside down world. I have had some news of my husband which assures me that he is comfortable and being treated but will be there a while longer. Tough news but at least some answers are forthcoming.
The world for most of us remains surreal. Safely at home but having to clean groceries or leave them in the garage for several days. I am only cleaning the things needed immediately and with just me those are not many. I guess not spending much money is a blessing.
Life is certainly different and certainly interesting. One has no idea what tomorrow will bring. It helps us to take stock of what is really important in our lives. I am so grateful for all the friends and loved ones who have called, texted, or emailed.
I am also grateful for all the kind words from my Word Press friends. This is a wonderful community and helps me not feel so alone.
Today was not a good day. I had to admit my husband to the hospital. Not with Covid 19. I pray they can get him well and out before he gets exposed to it.
At the moment they don’t know the diagnosis but he has an altered mental status. He’s just not the same. It all happened over a few days and was not getting better with meds. They will keep him and God willing he will be home soon.
If you pray please keep him in your prayers.
Thank you, Suzanne
Things have been difficult here in the last few days. I hope we are on the up side. It is pretty scary to think that in the middle of covid 19 I would have to take my husband to the hospital. That is the last thing I want to do. But if that is what it takes to get him well then there is not choice. However, for now each day seems a little better but it is slow.
Today I was wondering what it must have been like the day that the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. One day there was war “over there” and suddenly it had come home. What fear and panic must have been felt by everyone. We are facing something not at all fun but it will pass long before WW2 did. They lived with it every day for years.
They were strong. They had endurance, faith and hope. We have the same things available to us. Whatever we have to do to keep on is what we will do.
Since my husband developed this UTI life has not only been abnormal because of Covid 19 but also because of dealing with someone who can’t think straight. It is better but not totally gone. God bless all those who live with an Alzheimer’s patients. I really don’t know how you do it.
The anxiety has taken its toll on my mental health and my body. IBSD has flared up after being gone for quite a long time. I know that all of this will end but I want to hurry it up. Living as we do we are mostly alone. We have some family here but they are unable to help much. It is not the day to day help I miss but the comfort of hugs and contact with friends. I am a person who knows the comfort of human touch. I count on it. It is what I miss the most. With my husband not well I feel very alone.
This is my time to spend time with God and that has been helping. I also keep in mind my grandmother whose favorite quote was “and this too shall pass.” She had such strength and faith.
There are many who are suffering much more that I and I hope they can find the resources they need, stay well, and survive the physical and financial crisis. There will be many to help in the days to come and it is up to us to do what we can.
Remember my favorite quote:
‘ALL WILL BE WELL, AND ALL MANNER OF THINGS WILL BE WELL’
Julian of Norwich.