Soul work

What is is to search for our own soul. (It doesn’t matter what you call it. It is our inner core…our best self.) How do we turn away from the things that our society has led us to believe are the ultimate good? When are we able to grow enough to cast aside the ideas that we have been taught from birth?

societal-expectations.jpg

Most of us who have spent our lives in western society have been taught to reach for things that are finite. We look to find joy and peace in things that fade. We want everything taken care of NOW! We are impatient and want pills to cure our ills that work fast. If we feel the slightest bit bored we want entertainment that distracts us from spending time with ourselves. We want to be as beautiful at 80 as we were at 25. The look of youth is the ultimate. We want things to feed our emptiness with…cars, jewelry, clothes, electronics, houses….anything to make us important. We want to seem important, looked up to and emulated. We think that these will be fulfilling. They won’t. Their rewards to us are ephemeral.

ephemeral

Turning away from these illusions and seeking the soul itself is a challenge. Can we go against society and understand that love and compassion and empathy and generosity are what matters? These are eternal.

mind-body-soul

Seek inside yourself for the things that really matter and pursue them.

Today’s ramble

rest-dayYesterday I spent down in the dirt so today was a rest day. Altogether a nice day. I still hate the time change and it will take me at least a week to adjust. I got up at my usuall time although it was an hour early. That is the only way I know to adjust.

Lately I have found myself prone to tears. I seem to weep at anything. It is not depressions but almost an acknowledgement of the sadness I feel for others. Being sensitive to other’s trials and pains is sometimes a difficult road. It does reduce me to tears on occasion and lately more than usual. That is probably because I am seeing more pain around me. Not just those I know but in the world at large.

weep for the world

 

As an elder I worry about the world that will be here for my grandchildren and great grandchildren. I hope that some of the abuses, anger, going too far in many things will swing back to reason. We have pushed the limit on so many things. Here in the US sexuality has become such an issue. Why do we have to be so concerned about the private lives of others.

Admittedly we see too much on media that is painful and disturbing. I have to turn some of it off for self preservation. Sometimes there is enough to handle in your own space, Many are in overload and it is no wonder that depression and anxiety are rising. A friend of my grandson spent the first semester of his college term not attending classes and obsessing. He has threatened suicide and his parents and having trouble finding appropriate care.

Life today is not easy. As I have said before it seemed easier when I was growing. Was I living in a bubble or was it really easier?

Anyway that is just my train of thought for today. Hope everyone had a good day!

The things we regret

Following is the prayer we said today at Ash Wednesday service. I think that these words are something that we all need to hear. All of us have things to regret. I have printed it complete on my other blog.
have-regrets
We have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We have not forgiven others as we have been forgiven.
Our past unfaithfulness, the pride, envy, hypocrisy, and apathy that have infected our lives, we confess to you.
Our self-indulgent appetites and ways, and our exploitation of other people, we confess to you.
Our negligence in prayer and worship, and our failure to share the faith that is in us, we confess to you.
Our neglect of human need and suffering, and our indifference to injustice and cruelty, we confess to you.
Our false judgments, our uncharitable thoughts toward our neighbors, and our prejudice and contempt toward those who differ from us, we confess to you.
Our waste and pollution of your creation, and our lack of concern for those who come after us, we confess to you.

From the neonatal nurse…sadness

This is my rant and objections about the Vermont State law in process. You are free not to read. It frightens me that this may be politics at its worst.

crying-eyes

I worry so much about our country. What I see happening is the decline of our ethical standards. Another state, Vermont, has changed their abortion law. So there is no misunderstanding of what it says here is the link to the bill itself.

https://legislature.vermont.gov/Documents/2020/Docs/BILLS/H-0057/H-0057%20As%20Introduced.pdf

The applicable part is below.

2 § 9493. INDIVIDUAL REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS
13 (a) Every individual has the fundamental right to choose or refuse
14 contraception or sterilization.
15 (b) Every individual who becomes pregnant has the fundamental right to
16 choose to carry a pregnancy to term, give birth to a child, or to have an
17 abortion.

The bill sounds pretty comparable to the laws of some other states until you get to part (C)

(c) A fertilized egg, embryo, or fetus shall not have independent rights
under Vermont law

Even though I am a nurse and understand what the word fetus means I looked for a definition.

fe·tus

Dictionary result for fetus

/ˈfēdəs/
noun
  1. an unborn offspring of a mammal, in particular an unborn human baby more than eight weeks after conception.
    synonyms: embryo, fertilized egg, unborn baby, unborn child

    “antibodies are passed via the placenta to the fetus”

Notice that no definition of that word is present in the bill. It is deliberately ambiguous for most people. We don’t usually hear it applied to full term, viable, infants. However, it does apply to them. I find this reprehensible. Naturally they did not use the word “baby” as that would have been a trigger.

sadness2

I have talked about how we can’t spend our life in “what if’s” but it is time where we must look ahead. Is aborting a full term baby  murder? If it isn’t we have just allowed murder. Now the “fetus” has no rights at all. I guess I have seen so many babies born and fight to live and I have loved and cared for them I am in tears at the thought of this.

“What if” a teen gets pregnant and is able to hide it to full term and disposes of the baby in a trash can. Is this murder? Maybe not under that law. She can claim that she was aborting it. This is not pie in the sky. I have cared for infants found this way and still alive.

My hope is that most women would not carry to full term and then choose to “abort.”I hope that most women will make a decision about this early on and that only exigent circumstance will cause this to be an issue. I hope no one is willing to do it to test the law but I can’t be sure of that.

I have seen babies die and have always felt the sorrow of that loss of life. Life is precious. I would like for the people who have drafted and passed this bill and those who will do so in the next house be present when such a late term abortion of a perfectly normal baby is carried out. It seems that is the least they could do. I certainly could never be present at the MURDER of a BABY.

 

Disappointment

Disappointment. Today I was disappointed. I have been handling a my best friend’s will and am just about finished with it. There was some stock that had to be cashed out. We thought it was around $900 but the final check was only for $54. I was hoping to give some more significant money to the family and I am disappointed. I know that the money has nothing to do with me but I am still sad about it.

disappointment

This has been a long time getting to the end. We now have to divide up some personal items and I am not looking forward to that. The two heirs have a difficult past and don’t really speak to each other. They will be fine during this last task out of deference to me but I still will be glad to get it done. They are both nice people who have gone through some stuff growing up.

I have been sad for them through this whole circumstance. It is so sad that with very few relatives they can’t even have each other. Families are complicated. Things happen and lives are damaged. Children are so vulnerable and parents are the ones who have the most influence whether they mean to hurt or not.

past

What happens to us as children travels with us until the day we die. Hopefully, if hurt, we will be able to get help and learn coping skills but it can be difficult. Parenting is the most crucial role that anyone can have. Whether the child is ours by birth, adoption or any other way our role can make all the difference in the entire life of someone.

I am disappointed about this situation and will help where I can but the past is present in their lives.

A useful skill

puzzleTomorrow I go to do a Mediation. I volunteer as a mediator for court mandated (and sometimes chosen by people) help with settling problems. Doing this brings an interesting perspective to my own life.

Working with the cases I see opens a world where pettiness and anger are often primary. Money, of course, is at issue but sometimes the silliness is overwhelming. Compromise is not a word that most of the clients have any knowledge of. You would think that the aggravation of filing a suit, having to go to mediation, not settling and then going to court would make someone think logically.

In most cases that I have mediated logic has gone out the window and the opponents are functioning from feelings alone. (Of course this is not the case when the case is about money owed to credit card companies or others similar.) I am talking about two people who cannot settle their differences because of some underlying emotion.

Compassion, understanding and listening are important things to learn and use. Many times just listening allows us to hear what is underneath and find out where the real pain is. Listening to both sides is critical to the mediation process and in our lives. Real listening is truly absorbing not only what is being said, but what is not said.

listening2

I feel useful helping but I have also learned to value the opportunities that show up in my own life where kindness and understanding can defuse the problems. I can see the times where my own willingness to compromise has solved the issue. I am not patting myself on the back but being grateful for learning that, the majority of the time, there there are better ways to handle things than to file a law suit. Sometimes people just need to be heard. This requires someone actually listening.