“The road less traveled”

All of us are always on a journey. We don’t really know where the journey will take us. That is a mystery that will unfold as we live. To try and force that journey to go a particular way doesn’t always work. Sometimes we may be able to choose a direction. Sometimes, as in the words of Robert Frost, “Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.

Sometimes we are afraid to choose the unfamiliar road. We just like the smooth path we can see in front of us. We feel secure and safe. But life doesn’t always leave it that way.

For many years we have loved following the known road…the one we could see ahead. But now we a called by life to take that other road…the less traveled one…and we will. We are hoping that road will take us to a place of peace and safety but there is no way to know for sure.

Nevertheless we will step out in confidence sure that life is sending us that way. We will miss many things but gain others. This is always the way. The trick is to appreciate what you do have and not what you don’t.

“You cannot sail new oceans if you never lose sight of the shore.” anon

Fearful times

Everyone has ups and downs. Today has been a down for me. Just not feeling the best. The bad part is that with what is going on the minute you are not well you ask yourself if you are getting covid. Logically I know that is not the case but still it can be scary.

I have never before lived in a time where I have to be afriad just for going out. We both are careful and getting covid is a low risk but it is always in your mind.

We have to learn to move past the fear

This has made me wonder what it must be like to live in a place where any day where you go or where you live could be bombed. So many people live in this kind of environment. Stress for them is an everyday happening. It makes me think how blessed I am to not have to live that way forever. I know that there will be an end to this and I pray we don’t see another one of these any time soon.

I still will keep in my prayers those who do not live in safety. I cannot imagine living that way.

Good and evil, black and white: what happened to the middle?

Good and evil. Seems like an odd thing to be thinking about but today I have been pondering on it. The world we are living in right now begins to feel as if evil is winning. The covid virus, our irrational, uncaring and vituperous (worthy of blame) government, the hatred about race, sex and many other things seems to have taken us over.

I find it difficult to have a conversation with some people as they are set into the idea that their way is the only way. Everyone else is wrong. This is not the world I grew up in. This is a world I find impossible to understand. How can things have gotten this bad?

The world I grew up in did have lots of grey areas. Things were not just black and white (not talking about race). People were allowed to have opinions that differed from each other and that was acceptable. There were no lines drawn in the sand.

I am so sad for the world my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren have to live in. Understanding, caring, and kindness seem to be disappearing. The news reports only want to fan the flames and make things worse.

Somehow there has to be a way to stop all of this. I hope that it doesn’t require something more drastic than what we are seeing now to bring it to an end. I hope that it doesn’t take an alien invasion to bring us all together!!!

Moving on

Today I started looking at the process of selling my piano. My mother bought it when I was about 7 years old and the thought of parting with it is difficult but a small apartment cannot handle a baby grand piano.

looks exactly like mine

I have moved it around with us from Army post to post but this is one time that it really isn’t logical. When my husband and I were first married the apartment was so small that he joked we would have to eat off the piano but we managed. The truth is I don’t play it as much as before. It is situated where I disturb anything that anyone else is doing in the house and I hate to do that.

It may not be easy to sell but I will put it out there and see what happens. Then I plan to buy a good keyboard..one that can use headphones so that I can play whenever I want with not problem.

Another step toward the future. Just one more thing to clear out of the way. I long for the time when we are settled and not just “in progress” but it will come soon enough.

Anyone want a Mason and Hamlin baby grand?

Searching: a time waster

Have you ever had a day where you spent most of it looking for something that you misplaced? For me that is one of the most frustrating things. It is something important…you know you had it recently….you know it should be where you think you left it….bit it isn’t.

Where did I leave it?

I have a notebook all nicely organized… so organized that it has different tabs that designate what kind of project is in each section. It has many of the patterns I use to knit or crochet. Sounds like it shouldn’t be too important. Wrong! I wanted to start on a new project and needed that notebook.

Now this is a three hole binder notebook. It is not tiny. There are only so many places that it could be without being visible. I remember having it about 3 weeks ago so it should be near.

Nothing doing. I looked high and low, in cabinets, drawers, everywhere I could think of but no luck. Finally I had to attend an on-line meeting and then take my husband to a doctor visit so I had to stop looking.

Banging my head against the wall

Getting back to the search later I decided to look where a few almost identical notebooks are. I went through them recently and get rid of some of them. Hello! There among the others with a title on the side that had nothing to do with it was the book.

One of the reasons that I try to put things back where they belong is I hate to waste time and frustration looking for something that I put down without thinking. I try so hard not to do that. It puts a kink in your plans for the day and time just flies away. The older I get the more I work to keep things where they belong. Not only does it save time but it is really so easy to do.

An idea

It has been interesting to see on local world wide media that since the covid outbreak the environment seems to be improving. Some animal species that were on the way down are increasing. Animals that haven’t been seen in some area for quite a while are not being spotted.

Let us learn from what is happening

Not only is wildlife changing but air quality, flora growth, and other indicators of positive change are happening. It is too bad that when this all dies down we will proceed to make these changes go away. I wish we could keep on causing improvements. I hope someone is smart enough to see this and point it out to the world at large. I am but one but I am one and I am saying keep this going!

Maybe if others join me we can star a whole new trend.

Who could love us more?

There was a tremendous thunder storm in the middles of the night and I was awakened by a panicked dog. Ever since we rescued him him has been terrified of thunder, firecrackers and fireworks. This is an 58 pound Basset Hound. I can’t pick him up and he was cowering by the side of my bed. I leaned over far enough to rub him with my hand and he began to be settle some. I kept my hand there until it fell asleep at which point I switched and stretched my log over the side of the bed and rubbed him with my foot. He settled and stayed there until the storm subsided and then left. I awoke with my leg numb and tingling but happy that I was able to comfort him.

He, Crash, and my other dog Tillie give so much love and meaning to my life that I couldn’t survive without them. They know my mood and do whatever they can when I am down. They are excited when I am joyful and Tillie follows me from room to room keeping me always in her sight/scent.

I hope I never have to be without a dog. All the ones who I lived with have enriched my life in so many ways. I plan to always have such a loving companion. Who else loves so much?

Just one more thing

You would never think that water would be a problem but here we go again. We now have a huge water bill because apparently something happened in April that we were not aware of. At that time I was tending to my recently hospital discharged husband. (still not well) I was barely holding my own. Somewhere, unaware of us, water was left running and caused an enormous water usage. Now there is the problem of scraping up the money to pay all of this to include having plumbers come out to tell us there is no leak now.

HELP!

Just another one of life’s glitches. Just when you think the money is holding up well something hits. There are so many people hurting so much more than us. Many are out of work and have not yet received any unemployment compensation. Many businesses are having to close. Covid has brought us to our knees. I pray that things begin to improve…even if just a little and that those who need help can get what they need.

Memorable people

Thinking back over my almost 80 years there are so many memories of those who were a part of it. Lots of them are gone but they live on in my mind. It is funny the ones you remember and the ones you know must have been there but have no defining moment to think about.

I do remember some of my teachers particularly from High School and College. The ones I remember the most were the ones who were real characters. That is probably why they stuck in my mind. I remember a Latin teacher whose looks and demeanor were perfect for the part. She was petite, wore dark rimmed glasses, had grey hair and was really tough on us.

Another was a history teacher who made me love history. He gave us a assignment that was 100 questions. It was not something you spent time writing but researching. The questions were obscure and finding out the answers was difficult. You got a grade depending on how many you got right. One of the questions was “What is this ***** ? Yes, it was just 5 asterisks. It was a pseudonym for a writer whose name is lost to memory but I got it! His whole point was you could find anything if you knew how to research.

A college professor was named (by us) “paperback Bednar” because he didn’t have us buy a text but lots of paperbacks. He taught Philosophy of History one of the more interesting classes I took.

Another had student evenings at his home for discussion on anything including religion. He was a student of C.S. Lewis and shared much about him. He also wrote a book telling about his wife, his great love of her and her loss called “A Severe Mercy.” I still find people who knew about him and have read his book. His name was Sheldon Van Auken.

These people made an impact on my life. There are many more and I will be thinking about them from time to time.

Time of mixed emotions

I am continuing to clean things out and today I put all of my dvd’s in a case. That eliminated the cabinets that housed them. This is the first time that I have moved any pieces of furniture. I was a small thing but for the first time I realize that we are actually planning to move away from here.

This is a major life event. This is a complete change and an acceptance that we are growing older and need to be set for the time we have left. It may be long or short but we want it filled with people to meet, things to do and new adventures. Even though we are going to move to a retirement community it is one that has people who are still living fully, having fun, exploring new things to learn and enjoying a expansive life. It is connected with a University and has much learning experiences and opportunities.

We will also be near my youngest daughter and her family whose lifestyle makes them able to be supportive and caring. Their church home is also a plus since we have visited there many times and also feel at home there. The best of all worlds.

This kind of change comes with some sadness and loss. We will be leaving long time friends, a church home, a beautiful home with an amazing view and things we love. As a Parish Nurse I have seen so many people sit in a home they love until they can no longer manage and family has to make decisions for them. This leaves everyone unhappy and we decided that it is better to make the decision for ourselves.

This cannot happen too quickly due to medical issues and the problem of covid but we know it is on the near horizon. So this will be a time of looking forward to good things and still grieving over where we have been. A time of mixed emotions.