Days seemed forever
Time moved slowly
Love, passion, caring
Too quickly passing
Growing, changing, becoming
Each day is different. Each day brings it own challenges and its own rewards. We just have to be ready to take one moment at a time. We have ups and downs…times when we feel lost…times when we are sure that we won’t manage. Somehow, we can pull up our socks and get through.
These last few weeks have been a challenge for me but I continue to move on. I will not give up and let it drag me down. I know it will be a few more weeks before I can put things back to rights and find all the things I can’t put my hands on right now.
Things do arise that test our patience and our ability to cope. Each time we learn something new about ourselves. It may be something good or something we didn’t want to know. Nevertheless it is critical to learn, accept and move on.
Since Saturday I have been fighting IBSD. This is one of the worst episodes I have had. Today was a struggle. I hope tomorrow is better. I am also struggling with anxiety. It’s been a long time since this hit me this hard and I am trying to gain some perspective. Hopefully something will work.
I don’t have much else to say tonight. Not the best of days but tomorrow is a new day and I still have hope.
It has always fascinated me that people who I know and who condemn any kind of sexuality other than heterosexuals can sin so freely in other ways. Adultery seems to be fine, hatred, unkindness, greed….actually many of the 7 deadly sins are fine. Sexual differences are the one unforgivable sin. My aunt used to call this “swallow an elephant, choke on a gnat.”
They seem to feel that some sins are ok and others are not. A kind of hypocrisy that I find particularly abhorrent. It is so easy to condemn others and blithely carry on with our hurtful ways.
Judgement is mine says the Lord and the rest of us need to back off.
Times are tough. There are many children who are being brought up by single moms. Most of the work hard and do their best for their children. Still, being without a spouse is doubly hard. I think it takes two parents. The stress on one parent is horrendous. We all need help and in the case of raising children it is critical.
Regardless of who is doing the raising having more than one person to be looked up to and hopefully emulated is so necessary. It is helpful if boys have some male in their life and a female for girls. This is not always possible but hopefully some other family member is able to step up and help.
When we grew up in small towns there were many others to help. It really does “take a village” to raise a child. The more adults loving and molding growing up the better. Many of the children I am seeing now have only one parent and it is most frequently the mother. We need to grow the organizations “big brothers” and “big sisters” to fill in the gaps. children who are mentored do so much better. If not they seek affirmation from all the wrong people.
We must care for our youth
Today I hit the wall. I am so sleepy that I could just drop off writing this. I think the things I have been doing have finally relaxed some of the tension and I am wiped out. It is a wonderful feeling except I have things I have to do so I’ll just keep going until bedtime. Sure hope I don’t end up wide eyed awake then.
Ironically there are still storms floating around in the Atlantic but so far it seems they are little threat. I hope it stays that way. I guess with climate change happening we will have to cope with this or move.
Yesterday was another Community Conference. Again I saw the power of this program as it saved another youth from being caught up in the court system. It is a powerful feeling to think that I was able to help. I hope this child now understands the chance that has been given and it able to move forward with a positive attitude toward a productive life. I think, in this case, that will happen. It also help an adult to see that not all youth should be written off without knowing more than the surface information.
I am blessed to be able to help with this program.
This morning as I was driving out of my driveway I saw what looked like a small creature lying beside the drive. As I passed I could see it was a small, possibly baby, raccoon. It lifted its head and shook in fear as I went by. It was obviously hurt. I assume it was hit by a car. As I paused and watched it gave a last breath and was gone. Sitting for a moment to be sure he/she was gone and then went to my appointment.
This quick incident really bothered me. I felt so much empathy for the poor creature that tears were close. It had such a short life. I really saw it as one of God’s creatures and said a prayer for its passing. I saw the same imagery as with the dogs and pictured it moving over the rainbow bridge. I can’t help experiencing grief over any creature I see in pain. I wish I could have helped but there was nothing to be done. We will give him/her a decent burial.
I can’t help but see all of creation being linked and the death of one creature, flower, tree, insect being part of the whole. I know I am epathic and can feel pain for the smallest thing but we all should feel that loss. It is what we have ignored for too long.
Go little raccoon, over the rainbow bridge and join those who have gone before you.
The other day I read…I don’t remember where…that sunflowers, if they can’t turn to the sun, will turn to each other. There is a real story in that. It seems that is something we do as humans. If we can’t turn to our important source of light (people) we turn somewhere else to seek comfort. We have to lean somewhere.
Applying that thought is up to us. It can be applied to God or another source of strength. Maybe we turn inward and if we don’t find what we seek there we may be lost. We each need somewhere to find solace and will seek it out. We are like the sunflowers.
The work on our bathroom continues. Today we had the insurance adjuster as areas below the shower seat and the floor were soaked. There must have been a break in the tile that we couldn’t see. We don’t know what they will do but anything will be a help.
There is something disorienting about living somewhere in your house that you never stayed constantly in. It is a strange feeling. I didn’t ever think about it being off putting but it is. I don’t know why. It just feels wrong.
I really can’t think of the word to describe how it feels. The word that comes closest is disordered. According to the dictionary it is: disrupting the healthy or normal functioning of. Our closets are between our bedroom and the bathroom and the bedroom is covered with plastic and unusable. To get clothes I have to wander into the disaster zone and find what I want. I keep moving things to the bedroom I am using. Who knows what will be there when we get done.
I am spending time out of the house, mediating when I can and generally using coping skills to stay myself. I didn’t expect something that is a happy circumstance to be disorienting. Oh well. Live and learn. As a nurse I know that even good stress is stress (eustress) and can get to you. I think that having to delay a week because of the hurricane didn’t help.
They are moving on with the work and I hope they are done soon.
My son and daughter-in-law just got a new puppy. They lost their other dog last year. Over the years Karen (DIL) has become more and more allergic to any animals and they knew any dog would have to be a hypoallergenic as possible. They have been looking for a Labradoodle that they could afford. The prices for these dogs who are certified least allergic is quite high so they have been waiting.
A few weeks ago Karen’s sister found out that a friend of hers who raises these dogs was having to have back surgery and was unable to keep the dogs she has now. They were able to get this puppy for a very reasonable price. They are so excited. My grandchildren are grown and gone from the house so they really wanted to dog to be part of the family.
Today they brought him by to see us. He is an adorable puppy with a sweet disposition. He will be a wonderful addition to their home.
Dogs provide so much love and comfort to us humans. I love coming home to be greeted by wagging tails and happy dogs. Who else is that happy to see us?