This journey that we have been on for the last year has changed me in many ways. I have felt myself stretching and discovering. I have had to learn things I needed to know since my husband could not longer help. I have been blessed that I managed the finances (mostly) all along so that was something I didn’t have to struggle with.
When you have been living with someone as long as we have you develop patterns and really become unaware of how much you depend on the other person and the things they do. I have learned to be so grateful for the things my husband has done over the years and truly miss his help although he is now able to help some.
All of our lives we are people in transition. We are growing, learning and hopefully gaining wisdom. I was raised in a family that taught that people are more important than things and our home has always been open to others both as a refuge and a fun place to be. We have nurtured many over the years and hope to continue to do so. Our hearts have always been open to love those around us and that will also continue.
Our journey is continuing and will until we leave this earth and maybe even after. My husband and I are still “becoming.”
I have been working filling out the rental application and agreement for the apartment we will live in temporarily in Austin. I think they have asked for everything except my firstborn son.
The interesting thing is that I filled the forms out as the primary renter and my husband as just a resident. What I got back to finish filling out was it all in his name. I guess discrimination against women has not yet gone away. Maybe besides the Me Too movement we need Women’s Lives Matter.
It is interesting how things like that make you stop and think.
“Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.” Anonymous
We are in the middles of one of the hardest things we have ever had to do. We are upsrooting ourselves to be where we need to be. It has been a hard decision but it is the right one and we know that. So we will continue to honor our decision and follow through.
Changes are very difficult and most of us don’t like them at all. Nevertheless nothing ever stays the same. I have always heard said that nothing is sure but death and taxes. Well, I would add something else to that. Change is inevitable.
It is hard knowing that I am going to be living in confusion for a good while. I don’t like confusion. I like my life to be in order but that is not going to be. I know that it will all be worked out but I want it finished NOW!!
Patience is not one of my virtues. I am notoriously impatient. Maybe not as bad as some younger people since I didn’t grow up in an era when things happened over night. We did have to do a lot more waiting. Internet shopping was not available. Heavens we didn’t even have a TV until I was about 10. I have just learned to be impatient and now I have to move that away and think about how it used to be.
We were living at a very fast pace. The world was spinning more rapidly and getting faster all the time. This lull has taught us some things about patience. We have been waiting to get out and be with others. We still have to be very careful and wait. Now I have to put that into practise.
In my youth I envisioned the future as a wonderful place, Peace, flying cars, visiting space. That idea is gone. Have the changes made a better world or one more frightening, more dangerous, more ominous? My memories make it seem that way. When will we ever learn what really matters?
My past is a dream A memory A life of summer days Poodle skirts Bobby socks
We did Hide under desks With fear of A bomb And built Air raid shelters
That did not Dim our hope Our dreams Of a better world Free from fear
Time moved on Electronics, VHS, DVD’s Computers, internet Instant everything A better world?
Strange My memory world Seems happier Less fearful More hopeful
The better world Vision lost More war More sickness More hatred
As days go this was an ordinary day.There is something comforting about an ordinary day. It can seem to be a boring day.Nothing unexpected happens.The day goes as planned.
With the way that things have gone lately it is nice to have an ordinary day. Sometimes we go for quite a while with days being strange.When that happens it is nice for the day to be quiet.
The dictionary says ordinary is “with no special or distinctive features; normal.” It is interesting that it says normal since normal seems to be such a relative term.
I really enjoyed having a day where everything went as planned.That doesn’t happen very often.I have heard it said that time seems to go faster when everything is normal.Today that did not matter.It was just nice to have a day where there were no worries.Like most people, I probably would be bored if everyday we’re like that.I do find that once in a while it is nice to have boring.
Unfortunately, this seems like a boring post.I did you a good night.
Christmas is almost here and I have to admit I will be glad when it is over. The older I get the less I enjoy the getting ready. I do enjoy Christmas day but is is so much work. I have to remind myself that I had surgery three weeks ago and am still tired so that may be coloring my thinking.
In some ways I am looking forward to the new year. When I was younger I wondered if I would live into the new century. I never thought about getting to 2020. Life is such a blessing. Just being able to get up each morning, have coffee and plan the day is a gift.
When I read the blogs that show up in my reader each day it reminds me that not everyone has that choice. Many of us struggle with each day and and the outlook is not so good. Being able to share with each other is such a blessing. It is one of the things that makes my life better.
Tonight I am in a strange mood and find myself realizing that having my thyroid removed is not the walk in the park I expected. There we go with expectations again. They can really get us into trouble.
Today I started wrapping Christmas presents and realized that I am missing one important one! Oh woe! I order things early and stash them in several empty drawers in my bedroom. When I took them all out one for my son is missing.
Since I don’t buy lots of gifts I don’t understand how this one could have walked away but things have been so crazy here that I may have misplaced it. Please St. Christopher (although dethroned) help me find my gift.
This is just one of the stresses that happen to us during the Christmas Season. Most of us push ourselves too hard and our expectations outreach our reality. I know that there are things I just can’t do but I keep wanting to do them.
The only baking I have done is dog treats!?? Now you know who comes first around here. I would like to bake some cookies if I can finish the wrapping and searching for the one who is lost.
Christmas will be what it is in spite of all the energy and stress I put into it. It is so hard to turn loose of what was and accept what is. Somehow I will manage to do that and all will be well.
I love the church season of Advent. Not because of all the hoopla leading up to Christmas. Advent doesn’t feel red and green like Christmas. For me it feels blue. A beautiful, peaceful, serene blue. I imagine pictures with stars and the stable with the infant Jesus. I see calm and deep peace. I love listening to Christmas music and singing along. I suppose because the music plays at this time instead of the weeks of Christmas leading to Epiphany.
Advent is a time for expecting. The world is pregnant with hope. People seem kinder, more giving, more open. It is sad that we can’t remain this way all year long. We need to learn from this period of expectation that things can be better. We can be more caring of others. We can live together in peace. Let’s make it so.
The sun is shining beautifully outside but in here it is raining on me. For the last several months things have been breaking or going wrong around here but it hasn’t stopped yet. I feel as if I am in the bottom of an hourglass just waiting for the sand to cover me. None of the things have been major but they are piling up.
We had a leak on our property and our water bill was enormous. I dropped and broke the glass on my Kindle. It still works so I will see if it can be fixed. I caught the back edge of my car on a bike rack and that has to be fixed. (again no major damage…just aggravating) My printer quit so I have to get another one. Somehow it is time for this to stop.
On the plus side my grandson, wife and great grandson are coming for Thanksgiving. We are so excited about that. We always have to take the bad with the good.
In spite of all of this the sun is shining and life goes on. I realize that perspective is everything. If our expectations are that everything will always go well we are in for a big shock. I think that is why we can be so disappointed. Our expectations are so far off from reality. It is how I choose to live each day not what happens. Many of the things that have gone wrong will be funny when they are in the past.
Choose to roll with whatever happens. It makes us happier.