The Dream

Yesterday was Veteran’s Day and I miss my veteran so much. Our time with the Army seems so close and yet so far away. At my age things seem to be moving so fast to get past the things I have grown up with. Our perception of the future was very different than what we have and I still want my flying car!

In our ignorance we believed that things would be better. The lives of our children would be much better than ours. The world would be better, kinder and more loving. No more wars. No hate.

It was a dream that didn’t last long and I’m sorry it’s gone.

(I couldn’t resist this photo.)

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Where is everyone?

Things have been crazy around here. The Independent Living place where I live just can’t get help and all the others are in the same boat. It is an interesting phenomenon. It seems that every place cannot find enough staff. Last evening the people in charge were working in the dining room. Everyone from the CEO down. Wait staff is impossible to get. People come for interviews but don’t want to work.

It is not just us. Everywhere I go people are advertising for workers. What baffles me is where are the people who were working before covid? Did they all get jobs working from home? Did they get enough government bailouts to not have to work at all? It is a real mystery.

There is also the issue of the availability of products. That is worse than ever. The head chef can’t even get the food he orders. The same thing is true for the grocery stores. Shelves are still out of may items.

I guess we are just going to have to learn to live differently. I am blessed that I have a place to sleep and food to eat. Inconvenience is a minor thing compared to life altering problems.

Becoming

This journey that we have been on for the last year has changed me in many ways. I have felt myself stretching and discovering. I have had to learn things I needed to know since my husband could not longer help. I have been blessed that I managed the finances (mostly) all along so that was something I didn’t have to struggle with.

When you have been living with someone as long as we have you develop patterns and really become unaware of how much you depend on the other person and the things they do. I have learned to be so grateful for the things my husband has done over the years and truly miss his help although he is now able to help some.

still becoming

All of our lives we are people in transition. We are growing, learning and hopefully gaining wisdom. I was raised in a family that taught that people are more important than things and our home has always been open to others both as a refuge and a fun place to be. We have nurtured many over the years and hope to continue to do so. Our hearts have always been open to love those around us and that will also continue.

Our journey is continuing and will until we leave this earth and maybe even after. My husband and I are still “becoming.”

Do I count?

I have been working filling out the rental application and agreement for the apartment we will live in temporarily in Austin. I think they have asked for everything except my firstborn son.

The interesting thing is that I filled the forms out as the primary renter and my husband as just a resident. What I got back to finish filling out was it all in his name. I guess discrimination against women has not yet gone away. Maybe besides the Me Too movement we need Women’s Lives Matter.

It is interesting how things like that make you stop and think.

Change is inevitable

“Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.” Anonymous

We are in the middles of one of the hardest things we have ever had to do. We are upsrooting ourselves to be where we need to be. It has been a hard decision but it is the right one and we know that. So we will continue to honor our decision and follow through.

Changes are very difficult and most of us don’t like them at all. Nevertheless nothing ever stays the same. I have always heard said that nothing is sure but death and taxes. Well, I would add something else to that. Change is inevitable.

Let impatience go

It is hard knowing that I am going to be living in confusion for a good while. I don’t like confusion. I like my life to be in order but that is not going to be. I know that it will all be worked out but I want it finished NOW!!

Patience is not one of my virtues. I am notoriously impatient. Maybe not as bad as some younger people since I didn’t grow up in an era when things happened over night. We did have to do a lot more waiting. Internet shopping was not available. Heavens we didn’t even have a TV until I was about 10. I have just learned to be impatient and now I have to move that away and think about how it used to be.

We were living at a very fast pace. The world was spinning more rapidly and getting faster all the time. This lull has taught us some things about patience. We have been waiting to get out and be with others. We still have to be very careful and wait. Now I have to put that into practise.

What happened?

elephant-and-rabbit-sit-on-a-bench-on-the-glade-natalia-moroz

In my youth I envisioned the future as a wonderful place, Peace, flying cars, visiting space. That idea is gone. Have the changes made a better world or one more frightening, more dangerous, more ominous? My memories make it seem that way. When will we ever learn what really matters?

 

 

 

What Happened?

My past is a dream
A memory
A life of summer days
Poodle skirts
Bobby socks

We did
Hide under desks
With fear of A bomb
And built
Air raid shelters

That did not
Dim our hope
Our dreams
Of a better world
Free from fear

what happenedTime moved on
Electronics, VHS, DVD’s
Computers, internet
Instant everything
A better world?

Strange
My memory world
Seems happier
Less fearful
More hopeful

The better world
Vision lost
More war
More sickness
More hatred

What happened?

An ordinary day

As days go this was an ordinary day.There is something comforting about an ordinary day. It can seem to be a boring day.Nothing unexpected happens.The day goes as planned.

With the way that things have gone lately it is nice to have an ordinary day. Sometimes we go for quite a while with days being strange.When that happens it is nice for the day to be quiet.

The dictionary says ordinary is “with no special or distinctive features; normal.” It is interesting that it says normal since normal seems to be such a relative term.

I really enjoyed having a day where everything went as planned.That doesn’t happen very often.I have heard it said that time seems to go faster when everything is normal.Today that did not matter.It was just nice to have a day where there were no worries.Like most people, I probably would be bored if everyday we’re like that.I do find that once in a while it is nice to have boring.

Unfortunately, this seems like a boring post.I did you a good night.

Not my usual self

Christmas is almost here and I have to admit I will be glad when it is over. The older I get the less I enjoy the getting ready. I do enjoy Christmas day but is is so much work. I have to remind myself that I had surgery three weeks ago and am still tired so that may be coloring my thinking.

In some ways I am looking forward to the new year. When I was younger I wondered if I would live into the new century. I never thought about getting to 2020. Life is such a blessing. Just being able to get up each morning, have coffee and plan the day is a gift.

change

When I read the blogs that show up in my reader each day it reminds me that not everyone has that choice. Many of us struggle with each day and and the outlook is not so good. Being able to share with each other is such a blessing. It is one of the things that makes my life better.

Tonight I am in a strange mood and find myself realizing that having my thyroid removed is not the walk in the park I expected. There we go with expectations again. They can really get us into trouble.

Hope that tomorrow’s post is more logical.

High expectations

Today I started wrapping Christmas presents and realized that I am missing one important one! Oh woe! I order things early and stash them in several empty drawers in my bedroom. When I took them all out one for my son is missing.

lost gift 2

Since I don’t buy lots of gifts I don’t understand how this one could have walked away but things have been so crazy here that I may have misplaced it. Please St. Christopher (although dethroned) help me find my gift.

This is just one of the stresses that happen to us during the Christmas Season. Most of us push ourselves too hard and our expectations outreach our reality. I know that there are things I just can’t do but I keep wanting to do them.

The only baking I have done is dog treats!?? Now you know who comes first around here. I would like to bake some cookies if I can finish the wrapping and searching for the one who is lost.crash and tillie

 

Christmas will be what it is in spite of all the energy and stress I put into it. It is so hard to turn loose of what was and accept what is. Somehow I will manage to do that and all will be well.

expect