Unkindness

This week I have heard two stories of people being deliberately unkind. In both instances it was totally uncalled for. It is amazing to me how mean ad hurtful some people can be. In one case the person hurt made no response. In the other the hurt was brought to the attention of the person with not a smidgen of remorse or acknowledgement that anything was said that hurt.

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How do we handle this kind of person? It totally depends on the situation. Unfortunately, in both of these cases there was no ability to dismiss the person and just stay away from them. The one person tried to deal with it and since it is a work situation will not be able to do anything until later.

The second one is dealing with family. Both of these people do not have the option to just walk away. That would certainly be the best choice.

Being unkind in return just exacerbates the situation. It is better to state your feelings in a calm and simple way and move on

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At my age I seldom tolerate those who behave in this way. I will either stay away from them after voicing my thoughts….quietly but with conviction….or if family point out the hurt and hope that they see. Sometimes I choose to speak to spare a family member from being the one in the cross fire. As we get older it is easier to absorb the fall out.

We do not have to continue to be hurt over and over. People who are this unkind are usually unhappy themselves. Their behavior is often the result of being hurt in the past. However, we don’t have to put up with it. Sparing ourselves is important to our health and well-being.

Can we change?

In today’s world people like to play “the shame game.” We have no problem shaming someone who is not “like us.” This is rampant among teens but any of us are capable of joining in.

It is so easy to put down those who are different. Maybe they are fat, or too thin, or too black, or too white, or Muslim, or Christian, or Hindu….I could go on and on. Maybe they just don’t agree with us. We are becoming so polarized. Left vs right, Republican vs Democrat.

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One of the things I have encountered recently is intolerance about my moderate position. Somewhere between the black and white there is a whole spectrum of gray. Few things in this world are a simple as black and white. Most things have layer upon layer of opinion. Each of us has to make decisions based on our upbringing, our core values and our ethical stance. A choice that may be right for me may be terribly wrong for someone else.

We are losing all respect for opinions differing from our own. It is considered fine to metaphorically hang, draw and quarter those who are different. Love, tolerance and respect have given way to hatred and abuse.

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Somehow I hope the pendulum begins to swing the other way. As the population of the earth continues to grow our exposure to others will grow also. We will have to learn to respect the personal space and ability to see things differently of those around us.

I hope we can.

Tomorrow is a new day

Tonight I am tired and not feeling well. I didn’t sleep well last night and now I am paying for it. Oh well, that’s how life is.

I also have been back with IBSD. Just when I think I won’t get it again it is back. Again, oh well.

Life always has ups and downs. It is important to power through the rough to get back to the good. Tomorrow is another day. The prayer I say each night says: “a new day, new perspective”. I plan to sleep well and start tomorrow fresh.

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That’s all I can manage without putting my head down and going to sleep. Sweet dreams to everyone and a good day tomorrow.

Life with dogs

We are frequently in and out during the day and consequently leave our dogs alone for short periods of time. One of the, Crash, has issues with being left due to his history. He is a rescue who was on the street until found by Carolina Basset Rescue. He suffered greatly with a broken pelvis and so filled with ticks, fleas, etc. he was emaciated.

Our other dog, Tillie, is also a rescue but we don’t know her history. Both dogs are well behaved and so funny. I mentioned before that while we are gone things happen in the house….nothing damaging but darn funny.

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The latest thing that I have been finding upon our return is dog food in a throw rug in the bedroom. The first time this happened I wondered how it got there but just dismissed it. However, yesterday there was a second offering. This begs the question how are the dry pieces being brought from their bowls to the bedroom and who exactly is the culprit?

When you have two dogs it is easy to blame the most obvious one for whatever has taken place but we have always had two dogs and I learned long ago that it is not always the one you think. The problem is who?

tillie and crash
They look so innocent

We still don’t know who is moving kibble to the bedroom but again no damage is being done. I wonder if I perused the house camera I would learn the truth but it doesn’t show the bedroom. Oh well. Life with dogs. Love it!

Entitled?

Entitlement. A word that raises my blood pressure the moment I hear it. There are so many issues around this word.

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Thee have been many discussions about millennials feeling entitled but they are not alone. The news has been full of wealthy people who have paid to get their children into prestigious schools. Some have paid millions. Money has made them entitled. I don’t think that this is uncommon. Whether it is movie stars, billionaires, politicians or others many today feel that they are special. The problem is they feel they are special beyond their particular world. A great many of them have a “greater than” attitude toward the rest of us.

They believe they are better than the social worker who spends her life helping people… better than the worker who has two jobs to support his family… better than the teacher who takes time to be sure pupils get the best education possible.

They feel entitled to pronounce on topics they know little about because they are smarter, prettier, wealthier. We are expected to fawn on them and understand that they are indeed special.

Some people indeed are prettier, wealthier, more famous or important in terms of popularity or being known. That does not give them the right to  look down on others.

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So many people never heard of love mankind more deeply, work harder to help others, work to save the earth, live lives of honesty and duty and many other traits. Let’s let them be entitled.

The flawed plan

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Today has been quite a day. My son was supposed to come and help my husband fix a leaking pipe in our yard. Unfortunately, he hurt his knee and couldn’t help. My husband is pretty handy but forgets we are aging and decided to tackle it anyway. He also forgets he has had knee surgery and is not totally bendable. Bad idea.

He dug part of the hole where the pipes are and had to quit. I went to help and dug the rest of the hole. We then had to cut the old pipes away to fix the leak. The water was shut off at the main. Somehow that general cutoff for the water wouldn’t close completely although we didn’t know that at first. Since my husband couldn’t get down in the hole guess who did? He gave me a tool to cut the pipes which sort of worked….except I had to finally use a hacksaw to finish the three pipes. After taking away the cut pieces it was time to try and put new in,

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The pipe from the water main just kept running….enough to fill the hole with water. Then to get to the pipes I had to bail water out of the hole (while some continued to run in). I was faster and we got the water down enough to see the pipes but water continued to run. This was the point where I called a halt and said “we are calling a plumber.” The only problem being that this is Sunday. We had to find some way to stop the flow for now and still be able to turn the water back on.

My husband managed to find a shutoff valve that he was able to glue onto the pipe spewing water and get it stopped. Water is back on and so far so good. The plumbers will be called in the morning. I think we started this whole scenario at about 1 pm and finished around 4 pm.

Thank goodness for a sense of humor. If I couldn’t laugh about this I would be ready to let loose with some very bad language. Now that I am out of the hole, showered and fed things look a lot better. This will go down in the family annals as what happens when you overreach.

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We are both tired and still speaking to each other. Time to put this day behind us.

Time change! UGH!

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Tomorrow we switch to daylight savings time. How ridiculous! This changing of time is so silly. There have been multiple explanations why we do this and most of them aren’t significant. I know that it gives us evening daylight hours in the summer and some people like that. For someone like me I will be back to getting up in the dark and my mood will switch from great back to SAD. The evening hours don’t help me as I am a morning person. I don’t do getting up in the dark.

 

For the next few weeks I will be grumpy and tired. I will adjust but only when the sun catches up to our new time. For a while we lived in Panama and to change time was insane since the sun time changed little. We were almost at 12/12. Maybe that is where I need to live. I know it couldn’t be where darkness is 6 months long.

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We are definitely connected to the earth’s time clock. Our bodies are part of the earth and we change with the seasons. We change with the tides. We belong to Mother Earth.

I hope that everyone manages to cope with this shift to our natural rhythm. We will manage and move on but I can still HATE IT!