Where is everyone?

Things have been crazy around here. The Independent Living place where I live just can’t get help and all the others are in the same boat. It is an interesting phenomenon. It seems that every place cannot find enough staff. Last evening the people in charge were working in the dining room. Everyone from the CEO down. Wait staff is impossible to get. People come for interviews but don’t want to work.

It is not just us. Everywhere I go people are advertising for workers. What baffles me is where are the people who were working before covid? Did they all get jobs working from home? Did they get enough government bailouts to not have to work at all? It is a real mystery.

There is also the issue of the availability of products. That is worse than ever. The head chef can’t even get the food he orders. The same thing is true for the grocery stores. Shelves are still out of may items.

I guess we are just going to have to learn to live differently. I am blessed that I have a place to sleep and food to eat. Inconvenience is a minor thing compared to life altering problems.

Worry

One day at a time. Don’t we all wish that we could live that way? To be able to shut our minds to the worries that plague us about the future. My grandmother loved to quote the Bible and always said:

Matthew 6:34
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

If only I could do that I am sure that life would be so much easier. Oh well, something to continue working on.

Grandmother also loved to say this to me:

Balance or Acceptance

Sometimes it feels as if I will never achieve some sort of normalcy in my life. I can go several days feeling well and settled and then IBSD hits me and I am back in the doldrums. I long for balance. I hope that I can find it before long. Maybe this is just the way that it will be as I continue to grow older. Maybe acceptance is the answer.

The journey continues

What do we do when life changes drastically? How do we learn to live differently? I am still figuring that out. Each day is a new way of thinking a new way of being. I haven’t entirely found myself in this new reality.

I have talked many times with others who have experienced something similar to my journey. They have the same feelings, the same questions, the same puzzling ups and downs. One day everything is so easy and the next is a struggle.

I know that there will be a time when I will know I have found myself. I will find myself whole and not living in several worlds.


Life is a journey and is always new. It is time to embrace it.

Just life

I have been absent for so long that I feel guilty. The life that I live now is so different than before. There are many good things that I do. I swim three times a week and it feels so good. I will be able to do that all year as the pool is inside.

There are so many different people here. It was founded by graduates of the University of Texas and we have lots of retirees who taught or held other jobs at the University. There are so many smart people who have held amazing jobs and traveled the world.
Sometimes I feel inadequate and provincial. However it is exciting to talk with those who have had such interesting lives.

I am still playing guitar in the band badly but no one notices. It is just a fun thing to do.

I still spend too much time reading or watching TV. I actually miss working in the yard. There was something therapeutic about it. I had such a sense of accomplishment.

Most days are good and I have new friends who are wonderful but there are times when the huge change in my life still overwhelms me.

My dog, Crash, is still with me and shares his love with me every day. I am so grateful for him.

I’m just resting my eyes

I am trying to get on a schedule with writing. I need it and miss all the connections I have made in the 5? years that I have been doing this. I want to keep in touch.

Accentuate the Positive

It’s time for me to think about the blessings in my life. I have lived 81 years with lots of love and caring both me for others and others for me. I was blessed by wonderful parents and grew up feeling safe and loved. In today’s world not many can say that.

I am living in a place that will keep me safe and secure for the rest of my days. Not many people can say that. I have so much to be thankful for.

It is so easy to get in the habit of dealing with the negatives in our lives and not spend any time think about what is good. We all have heard that we should concentrate daily on the good things but we let the bad take over.

I want to begin anew my “worry less journey” learning to be grateful each day. The down times may try to pull me away but I will find ways to let it go.

This very old song sums up my thoughts. (Johnny Mercer was a native from where I lived.. Savannah Ga)

Indulge yourself

Sometimes the simplest things help us more than anything. Last week I did something that made me feel happy. I had my nails done. A very small thing but I haven’t done this in several years. I didn’t have to do it but it made me feel spoiled and happy. This is not something that I will do all the time but this simple thing was important. My mood lightened and I felt so good about it.

There are many times where doing something just for ourselves can make a big difference. Take the time to recognize when you need to treat yourself…whether is it a bubble bath, a walk in the woods, or visiting a friend. It can make a huge difference!

Today’s journey

O to be so relaxed!

I met today with a new therapist and am so encouraged by our connection and her understanding. Things will get better. I will continue to believe that.

I continue my struggle with IBSD but I am reaching out for a doctor as I don’t have a gastro one here. I realize that I also am missing all the doctors I had before. I must find new ones.

We are currently sheltering from the new covid strain and quite a few people here have been sick. We all wanted so much to see things as normal and that is not happening. It can be so tiresome and depressing.

Crash and I remain here working through each day. He is my companion and solace.

Grief Encompassed Me

Since coming back from my husband’s funeral in June things seemed ok. I was preparing to travel with my daughter’s family on a trip to Canada. I became more and more anxious and time ticked away and a week before the trip had a melt down. I had been crying daily and getting more and more upset.My anxiety had reached a level where I knew I had to do something. Discussion with my doctor’s Nurse Practitioner helped me to see that I wasn’t ready or able to take that trip. Fortunately my daughter had wisely taken out insurance that allowed anyone to cancel for any reason. She completely understood my decision. The minute my decision was made a weight was lifted.

I was really unaware that I would be so affected by the trip to Savannah with the funeral, visiting the city and seeing friends. After his death over 14 months ago I had no idea that it would cause me to react so strongly. I should have remembered that we were together for over 58 years.

Not like “Waiting for God”

They used to say that nothing stays the same but death and taxes. I have decided that as right as this is something supersedes these and it is change. Change is always with us. It comes when planned and when unexpected but it always comes.

Since fall of 2020 my life has been the perfect example of change. With two moves, losing my husband and my home (had to sell when moving), living in a completely different state(one that acts as if it is its own country) and living in an Independent Living Retirement place, change has become normal. I just expect it and keep going.

Living with others who have retired and seeing mostly grey hair around me has been interesting, challenging, disturbing and comforting. There is sometimes the feeling of living in the British comedy “Waiting for God.” It can be hard to accept living where (supposedly) you know you will die. You have to develop a different mind set.

In some ways it it like living in a college dorm. As a community, there are rules that must protect us all somewhat like those in a HOA setting. For those who have been independent and masters of their own choices it can be frustrating.

Those are some of the negatives. It is wonderful, however, to have 3 restaurants on site and cook only if you want to. It is so good to have conversations with people who remember the things you do and understand your references to events and people of the past. (Some young people are so clueless it make me wonder what is being taught in school.) It’s a miracle to have my apartment cleaned once a week.

Soooo, although life has been challenging with lots of changes, it has also been interesting, stimulating, and life enhancing. There are so many things to do. We are connected to the University of Texas and can attend things there as we want. Events and activities are fun and improve minds and bodies. Life is good. You just have to reach out a grab it.