Cancer aftermath

I have several friends who have had cancer and are in remission. When this happens people begin to see them as back to normal. Most people are unaware of how much courage is involved in continuing to move forward. There are periodic scans and you have to wait for results. It can be a time of nail biting and stress.

after cancer

Chemotherapy also can have devastating consequences. The medicines that make you well can also cause major problems with the well systems in your body. There are many things that can go wrong from failure of other organs to hair, skin, teeth problems. It is not an easy path.

Hopefully the future will bring us closer to our own immune system removing the cancer from our body without hurting anything else.

survive cancer

Remember those who struggle with the aftermath of cancer treatment. They need our continuing compassion and support.

Change AGAIN!

It is amazing to me that things can be going along perfectly and the something throws the whole thing out of whack. This week has been like that so far. It is time to regroup and rethink.

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Life is never boring. There is always something that brings excitement whether it is good or bad. The trick is learning to back up, accept the changes and move forward again. Even the good things can move you off track. As someone who like routine I am always surprised by changes. It is as if my brain doesn’t even put it in as a possibility. My husband used to go to work at 6:30 in the morning when he wasn’t due until eight. He said he got lots of work done before everything started to fall apart. He planned for changes.

change accept

 

 

Maybe leaving room for changes would help to keep me from being stressed by them. Just plan a space for things to be different than I planned. Even if that space is not on paper but only in my mind. Those of us who like order and lists resent changes. I think I will put “change” down on my list for each day.

The angels flapped their wings

Have you heard about angels? In one of his fantasy books C.S. Lewis implies that they move to fast for us to perceive them. They are only visible when they slow down.

I am not sure about wanting to actually encounter an angel. I have an idea that they are pretty impressive to see. Have you ever noticed that in the Bible almost every time they appear the first words they speak are “FEAR NOT!” That should give us an idea of what they are like.

One of my favorite stories about angels was told my Madeleine L’Engle at a conference I attended. It is such a sweet story that I decided to share it here.

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There was a religious school in a neighborhood. Many of the children there had families who experienced fighting, yelling and sometimes abuse in the home. One little boy was always falling asleep in school so one of the nuns asked him if he was able to sleep at night at home. He admitted that there was usually lots of yelling and the he was frequently frightened and pulled the covers over his head to try and disappear. 

The teacher told him not to worry. That night she would send four angels to stand at each corner of his bed to keep him safe. The next morning she asked him if the night went well at home. He told her that he was not frightened at all…the angels were there but could she cut down the number of them? The flapping of their wings was keeping him awake.

This is such a wonderful story and an example of the power of belief.

A great place to meet

Our knitting group meets on Tuesdays. The place we meet is so nice. The friendship Coffee Company. There are couches and comfortable chairs in addition to the regular dining tables. If we can we try to get the couch. Sometimes the group is just two or three and sometimes more.

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The atmosphere in the cafe is such that it seems to encourage people to talk to one another. It is not unusual for us to meet new people almost every week. Reaching out to strangers we find so many with lots in common with us. The conversations and interesting and stimulating.

friendship coffee

It is a wonderful thing to have a place where people feel so comfortable that they can converse with those around them and meet new people.

Life and death

Years ago I was distressed by  a family’s loss. In an auto accident one young daughter was killed. I felt that her life had been cut short. A minister friend had a different perspective. He felt that each of us has a life span that is ours alone….just as we are all individuals.

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I was reading a novel today and came across a similar thought that was attributed to the Gullah people of coastal South Carolina and Georgia. The book is “Gullah Secrets” by Susan Gabriel. Living near and having cared for Gullah people I have always respected their wisdom.

An elderly Gullah woman says: “Like a story, every life on earth has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Sometimes a story lasts only hours. Sometimes days, years, or decades……It is not about the lucky or the unlucky. The good or the evil…..Life and death are in an eternal dance just like that whirlwind. Wind and sand. Sand and wind. A dance across time.”

This vision of each of our lives is comforting to me. My birth and death are mine and are as unique as I am. Life and death. They both continue.

 

 

There is more to learn

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Yesterday we had a high in the 80’s. Last night it went down to 45. For us that is winter. Where is fall? I actually enjoy the cooler weather and look forward to having a fire in the fireplace.

One of the most difficult things about growing older is when you begin losing friends and contemporaries. Going to funerals is not much fun. The only blessing is that most of them have lived good, fruitful lives. You can be grateful for the time you have known them and the joy they have brought to life.

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I don’t mean to sound depressing. Most of the time growing older feels to be just another phase of life. It has some incredible joys and blessings. I have experienced so much and learned so much and writing has allowed me to continue to share. I try to appreciate each day. One of the hardest things is to learn to live fully each and every day. Time is not to be wasted but experienced. If only we could learn to let go of living in the past or the future and just be where we are at the moment.

Accepted but not fixed

Last evening I had some sad news. A friend’s son-in-law is dying from cancer leaving a wife and two preteen children. I am so sorry about this. I watched my friend’s daughter grow up, get married, and have children. Now they have been fighting this disease for several years and he is on Hospice.

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I hate so much for that family to lose a father and husband. Life will never be the same. There are some things that change us utterly and immediately. Some things are slow in coming and give us time to grasp them. Death, no matter how we see it coming, is still not prepared for. Life moves into a totally different reality.

I pray for that family and will offer any help. Nothing, however, can fix it. There are things that can be accepted but not fixed

Memories–always there

Memories

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Memories
Things remembered
Never lost

Childhood
Days seemed forever
Time moved slowly

Teens
Endless life
Untouchable, invulnerable

Marriage
Love, passion, caring
Too quickly passing

Children
Growing, changing, becoming
Then suddenly….gone

Now marriage
Secure, comfortable
Loving, aging

Growing older
Vulnerable health
Fast passing

Memories
Always present
Always, always

Sunflowers seek light. Do we?

The other day I read…I don’t remember where…that sunflowers, if they can’t turn to the sun, will turn to each other. There is a real story in that. It seems that is something we do as humans. If we can’t turn to our important source of light (people) we turn somewhere else to seek comfort. We have to lean somewhere.

sunflowers

Applying that thought is up to us. It can be applied to God or another source of strength. Maybe we turn inward and if we don’t find what we seek there we may be lost. We each need somewhere to find solace and will seek it out. We are like the sunflowers.

New companion

My son and daughter-in-law just got a new puppy. They lost their other dog last year. Over the years Karen (DIL) has become more and more allergic to any animals and they knew any dog would have to be a hypoallergenic as possible. They have been looking for a Labradoodle that they could afford. The prices for these dogs who are certified least allergic is quite high so they have been waiting.

A few weeks ago Karen’s sister found out that a friend of hers who raises these dogs was having to have back surgery and was unable to keep the dogs she has now. They were able to get this puppy for a very reasonable price. They are so excited. My grandchildren are grown and gone from the house so they really wanted to dog to be part of the family.

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Today they brought him by to see us. He is an adorable puppy with a sweet disposition. He will be a wonderful addition to their home.

Dogs provide so much love and comfort to us humans. I love coming home to be greeted by wagging tails and happy dogs. Who else is that happy to see us?