Grow friendships

friends timeToday was the day that I finally relaxed from all the holiday, surgery, visitors, granddaughter’s accident stuff. I think I just let go. I am tired but this kind of tired feels good. It is nice to have all of that behind me and look toward what is next.

Routine is calming. As we get older calm and peace can be better than excitement. I still do things that challenge my status quo. It is important to not get stuck but, for me, a little bit is enough.

I depend on friends. They are the backbone I can count on. Life would be bare without them. We don’t need a lot of really close friends. A few will do. That doesn’t meant that we don’t have others who are an important part of our world. They just aren’t the ones who are part of the heart.

The only way that you find those kind of friends is by opening yourself to them. They will not stay close and grow with you if you don’t share your deepest self. If someone doesn’t accept that then you don’t need them.

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We also have to make the effort to communicate. Someone said don’t let the path grow up between your houses. Today our friends may not be that physically close but the idea is the same. Don’t expect others to keep the path open but do it yourself. We have to take the responsibility to keep reaching out. Friends don’t become close over night. The work must be put in to grow them.

Friends are a crucial part of life. Take the time and effort to share, communicate and help the link between you to grow. It is worth it!

Life is fragile…accidents happen

Our 2019 ended….badly. Our 21 year old granddaughter was in a serious auto accident and ended up in surgery. She was very blessed that when the surgeons went in the only thing damaged was her spleen. Her spleen was removed and she is recovering. She does have a bruised lung which makes breathing painful. It will be a few days in the hospital barring any infection or other problem.

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This was early in the day and was not alcohol related with either driver.

Life is so fragile. One moment everything is fine and the next it can be taken away at the snap of a finger. It truly reminds me to treasure each and every day. Even when things are not perfect it is still life!

If only we could live so that we don’t let our minds move us into places we don’t need to go. The worries and anxieties can remove all the joy and we spend each day struggling.

Just to live each day in thanksgiving and peace. That is really the driving force behind worry less journey. To worry less and experience joy and peace more.

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May each of you have a blessed new year!

A great place to meet

Our knitting group meets on Tuesdays. The place we meet is so nice. The friendship Coffee Company. There are couches and comfortable chairs in addition to the regular dining tables. If we can we try to get the couch. Sometimes the group is just two or three and sometimes more.

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The atmosphere in the cafe is such that it seems to encourage people to talk to one another. It is not unusual for us to meet new people almost every week. Reaching out to strangers we find so many with lots in common with us. The conversations and interesting and stimulating.

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It is a wonderful thing to have a place where people feel so comfortable that they can converse with those around them and meet new people.

Not at home yet

find the roadThere are some times when I wear my feelings on my shoulders. Since coming back to my husband’s church I have not really felt at home there. It is not anything about the church but about me. After 20 years of working in a church there is so much I could share but I can’t. I offer to help and usually end up stepping on someones toes. Other people need space to do things…my turn is past. I don’t want to be in charge if anything…just offer experience. Even after several years I feel as if part of me is missing. The only change has to be made by me. (the hardest person to change)

The frustration I experience when I am at the church is painful. The best thing may be to go somewhere else for a while where I don’t feel that pull. If everything is unfamiliar I may not have such a strong reaction. At least it is worth trying to see if it helps.

As we get older we have so much to share and don’t often get the opportunity to do so. This blog has been a wonderful way to at least offer my experiences in the hope that they may help others. It has kept me centered and moving forward. This is a blessing.

 

 

Small acts of kindness matter

 

Sometimes one small gesture can give us the strength to do enormous things.¬†From “Call the Midwife” Season 7 Episode 4

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Recently I have gone through discovering my thyroid needed to be removed…setting up Dr. visits and having surgery. Not exactly what any of us want to do at any time….especially in the weeks before Christmas when there is so much that we want to do.

I wasn’t looking forward to it but knew it was important. I have also learned through the years that getting things done quickly is actually easier than dragging my feet. So I scheduled visits and surgery and began the process. I dreaded it…but what happened was unexpected.

The surgeon was cheerful and personable. (If you know anything about surgeons this is not the norm. They are nice but mostly see their patients asleep.) He put his hand on my shoulder (also unusual) and helped me to feel his caring about my case. He agreed that the surgery needed to be done.

I was sent to the scheduler who was friendly, pleasant and wanting to help me schedule so it fit my life. She knew I wanted to have it done quickly so as to get it behind me. A date was scheduled after Thanksgiving. The following Monday she called to say the surgeon had decided to work on Friday and she called me first to see if I would like to move to that day. That was perfect for me and I was touched that she remembered.

When getting the prep labs etc the nurse and I had an amazing discussion about our views of faith and God. She had been to Tibet to visit religious sites. She was another along my journey whose caring made my day better.

This all was more than one small gesture but each of them helped me to move forward with confidence and an expectation of success.

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Remember what your attitude and demeanor can mean to the people you connect with each day. We can make someone’s day better!

Lasting Memories

My husband loves Christmas. He can’t wait until the tree is up and the decorations out. He bought the tree while I was in the hospital but had it delivered after I came home. It is now up and decorated. (which he did) I am good but still some tired.

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I managed to get enough energy to do some of the other decorations and things look pretty nice. We have pared down some over the years and don’t over do.

If we strictly followed our church’s thought we would not put up decorations until Christmas Eve and keep them up for the 12 days of Christmas ending on Epiphany. When I was a child my father and I would walk into the woods and cut a tree on Christmas Eve. That was such an exciting time for me. Just spending time with my father doing something special was enough. I remember it with such fond memories.

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I hope we were able to give those kind of memories to our own children. These are things that can’t be duplicated. Expensive gifts are nothing compared to time spent with parents. It is so wonderful when we spend time with our own children playing, what I call, “remember when….the time the dog opened most of the presents under the tree during the night??” Those are the things that last.

Spend on memories not things. The memories last.

Thanks to the blog community

Tomorrow morning early is my surgery. If all goes well will be home the next morning. I will be glad to get this behind me.

As I have said many times life is never boring. There is always something new to see, do, manage, endure. We just have to keep going. I am grateful for so many things in my life I could never begin to list them all but I am grateful for my blog family….and you do seem like family to me.

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We hold each other up, commiserate with each other and encourage each other. A true blessing. God bless each and every one of you.

Thanksgiving

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Tomorrow is a day to give thanks for all the blessings of this life. I have many to be grateful for but the most important is my family. My husband, my three children, their spouses, my grandchildren and now two great grandchildren. They are well, either in school, college or gainfully employed. What more could anyone want?

Years of life bringing joys and challenges. Each a time to learn and grow. I am grateful and blessed.

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I hope that each of you who celebrate this day have a joyful and thankful day.

Be creative..especially for others

Tuesday is a day that I always look forward to. On Tuesdays I meet with friends for knitting and conversation. We are a group who before starting this group did not know each other. We are all different. We are from different countries, different social groups. This makes the group inspiring and conversation is stimulating.

To add to it we are also being creative. One of the members is an amazing artist and does many pencil drawings for children to color. Each of us is creating something usually in yarn but not always. Most of the things we create are for others. We also offer free help teaching  to knitting for anyone who want to learn. This group is such a joy.

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scarf for one of my granddaughters

I have been knitting since I was a child. It reminds me of the my wonderful mother and the many things she taught me. The motion of my hands and the creating of something both beautiful (I hope) and useful have a calming effect. Knitting can allow the brain to rest (if not too complicated)  and the mind to let go of stresses. Seeing the finished product brings joy. Now that I have children, grandchildren and great grandchildren it is fun to do things for them and for friends.

Love is infinite

I have been thinking about love. I’m not talking about romantic love but a more expansive love. Love, if nurtured, does not decrease…..it grows. Not just for one person but there is always more to share with others. Our ability to love can be endless if we encourage it.

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Christ called us to love our neighbors as ourselves. This statement reminds us that it is important for our love to both reach out to others but also inward to ourselves. Both are necessary.

Most of the major religions consider love to be crucial. It is unfortunate that mankind has skewed the original tenets and intentions of them so much. “Religion” has encouraged divisiveness and exclusivity. Each “sect” is touting its “truth” and denigrating all others. So many splits and divisions have occurred that I am not sure we could name them all.

We have lost the call to love. Love our world, our earth itself with all its plants, animals, and beings with a fierceness that forces us to consider the good of it all. How far we have strayed.

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We have to speak out with love. We may only reach one person but each one is one that is changed and with hope that they will pass it on.