I have just watched a most interesting film called “Concussion” Will Smith plays Dr. Bennet Omalu the doctor who discovered the injury incurred by hitting heads in football. Ever since this began to be talked about I have been scorned by many football lovers who don’t want to believe there is a serious problem.
Having managed head injury cases in my time as a nurse I know how devastating they can be and understand why many who end up with this problem called CTE end up committing suicide.
I have frequently told football enthusiasts that we should go back to wearing the original helmets football used. When playing with these the players were not told to bang heads like the sport does now.
At least now those who choose to play football know the risks. I still do not approve of small children being taught to charge hitting heads together. They are not able to make a decision for themselves. The parents should but many won’t hoping to see their child go to college on a sports scholarship. Many they should switch to soccer. While there is some evidence that injury can occur it seems to be less of an issue.
I don’t know if I have written about this before but I feel compelled to talk about it. Each of us matters. We can so easily get discouraged about changing anything…the way the world is going, the condition of the earth, the violence around us. It is so frustrating. Often we want to make a difference but we feel unable to do so. So how do we get past that?
I believe that any small thing makes a difference. I belong to prayer group called Daughters of the King. The motto of that group is ““I cannot do everything, but I can do something. What I can do, I ought to do. What I ought to do, by the grace of God I will do. Lord, what will you have me do?”
I believe this. Each of us can make a difference. In the words of the Dalai Lama
Recently there was a discussion regarding something related to this quote: “Knowledge is only a rumor until it lives in the bones.” From the Asaro tribe in Papua New Guinea. We were talking about how we don’t really absorb a change of a habit until we live it day by day.
We were talking about habits. Changing habits is a difficult thing. we may want to change but we will continue along the old path unless we act. I often think of it as “act as if.” We may not really incorporate the change into ourselves but we act as if it is already there. We choose to believe it is there and our behavior matches that belief. Day by day, as we continue to do this, the change becomes part of us and a new habit is formed.
Our resolve to make this shift has to be considerable for the change to happen but it can be done. The same is true of a knowledge or belief as in the quote above. It can only change by living it out. Some things can’t be proved but only accepted. My faith is based on “acting as if” every day. There are times when I question but continue to live out my faith as a choice. I have never met anyone who doesn’t question even if they can’t acknowledge it.
This also applies to loving another person. Each day we have to make a choice to love. We may not like the person at the moment or be at odds with them but we can still choose to love. It is a decision not a feeling.
Choose carefully what you wish to change or what you believe or who you love and then live it out.
Today has been chaos. Part of my family has been here deconstructing my house. They are taking pieces of furniture that they want and some other things. I have fled to my office to get away from it all. I am going to be living in the strangest house until we get all things packed up. Things that were in drawers are on the floor since the drawer(s) are gone. I can’t pack them until my other child arrives to decide what she wants. Very confusing but hopefully soon over.
Our apartment is ready for us. It just needs us and some furniture which we will get soon enough. In a short while we will move into a VRBO that my best friend is loaning to us. It will be a wonderful retreat from the mess.
This has been interesting, challenging, freeing and I’m sure I could find other adjectives to fit. Keep us in your thoughts are prayers for the next few weeks. It will help me stay sane.
“Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.” Anonymous
We are in the middles of one of the hardest things we have ever had to do. We are upsrooting ourselves to be where we need to be. It has been a hard decision but it is the right one and we know that. So we will continue to honor our decision and follow through.
Changes are very difficult and most of us don’t like them at all. Nevertheless nothing ever stays the same. I have always heard said that nothing is sure but death and taxes. Well, I would add something else to that. Change is inevitable.
We ordered a new lounge chair for my husband from Wayfair. I have ordered from them before and they are great. We were in no hurry for it to come but it took an interesting journey. It traveled! Up and down the country. Not a direct route. It went from the west to the north. The opposite direction to us. Then it took a journey east before starting to turn south. It finally ended up about 10 miles from us where it sat for several days before coming to us. This is a well traveled chair.
Now it is here to travel more with us as we plan for the rest of our lives. A fun start to the new things in front of us. We will be sad to leave this beautiful home that my husband designed for the way we live. It is so perfect but nothing lasts forever. Now perfect is becoming a burden and that changes things.
In life we have to accept what happens as we age and be ready to do what is best instead of holding on to something that no longer works. I have seen too many children having to drag their parents out of a home that is no longer logical. How tragic that is for families and everyone ends up unhappy. We have to know when it is time to choose for ourselves and do it.
This is a difficult post to write. Since my husband has been recently diagnosed with dementia our life has changed. We will learn and adapt as we go but some major changes will have to be made.
Our home is one that requires us both to be able to help with its maintenance. It is really too much for me to manage on my own. It is time to move forward and find the right environment for both of us. This will be heart wrenching and particularly hard on my husband but we need to do it now and get settled for the future.
My aunt ( who was really quirky) always said that if you do all the things you CAN do at the moment then you can stop worrying. This is my plan. We will be taking one day at a time. There are still some medical issues to be resolved and the virus hasn’t helped getting those done but we will get there. God is with us.
There have been lots of ups and downs in our life together. This is just another down to get through and look forward to the next up. On the 9th of June we will have been married 58 years. A wonderful journey.
The other night I caught the edge of some news. They were talking about somewhere that a protest was being held. Not us, another country. The protesters came out into the street and just stood. No words, no movement, nothing. Apparently people were stunned and paying attention. It was novel. It was different. It was non-violent. It piqued curiosity and questions and notice. It reminded me of the protests of Gandhi and Martin Luther King.
All this violence, robbery and chaos does not do the same thing. I was reminded of these quotes.
Yesterday I had the oddest thought. As people begin going out as they want, many without wearing masks, it will be us elderly and the sick who will stand out. We will become the stigmatized group. We will stand out like a sore thumb. I doubt that we will be able to feel the slightest bit safe until there is a vaccine and that will be quite a while coming.
There will be a point where we have to continue to live our lives and know that there is a risk. That has been true for those in war torn countries forever. Going out of the door in the morning does not guarantee that they will be safe. It’s just that we have never suffered that experience since the long past flu epidemic.
So if you see us out with our masks until next year and see us obsessively washing our hands and safe distancing from people please don’t see us as lepers. We are just trying to survive.