Today I have encountered several things that bring into focus some major issues plaguing our culture today. I think we may be beginning to see the result of changes in the precepts for raising children. As we began an era were in most families two parents were working the parents, trying to spend “quality” time with their children were lured into the idea that everything should be as perfect for them as they could make it. I am not accusing the parents. The changes in society brought this about.
Now if things aren’t perfect for that group of adults they feel deprived and entitled to more. They grew up thinking that everything would always go their way and want to insist on it in their adult years.
At the same time we began to change how children were treated in society as a whole. We fretted about feelings so that there ended up being no winners or losers. Everyone was treated “the same.” Unfortunately everyone is not the same. That is actually a good thing and learning early that things aren’t fair prepares you for what you face later in life.
Because children were the most important thing in the world they would naturally not care about others but only look at continuing to get what they expected. Others don’t matter. Many times money was used to get them what they wanted as in the case of the parents who bought their children into colleges. What did they learn from that?
We have lost values. Values are “a person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life.” (dictionary) Unfortunately I sense that this may be the beginning of a major change in our way of life. The decline of morals and the change of values to “me” and money is a bad trend. We have to correct this direction.
Bouts of grief come and go with me. For some reason driving in the car seems to bring them on. That makes no sense. Grief is always that way. It comes in waves often without warning. Sometimes people don’t realize that it isn’t just a death that we grieve. Any kind of change can bring it on. We grieve for what has been even if we are looking forward to what is to come.
Having moved many times in my life I expect to be sad about what I am leaving but settle well when I get rooted in the next place. In some ways it is refreshing to think that this big downsize means that we will be getting some new furniture of the inexpensive variety. Moving lots of furniture is more expensive that buying new if you are wise about what you buy. We will take things that we love but that is mostly art work and personal items.
A lot of our furniture was passed down from my family and is not necessarily what I would have bought. Even though it has links to the past I have no regrets about letting it go. An estate sale agent will handle that.
It is almost like a new start and a chance to try some different styles that can be modified easily.
This is Tillie. Tillie knows how to relax. She is trying to teach me the same thing. Look at her. Don’t you wish you could rest like that…not a worry in the world. But that is now. Tillie is a rescue. We don’t know what happened to her before but we do know how she is now. She has shaken the past away and now rests without fear. She is calm and is still trying to teach me that I can relax and the world will continue.
One of the blog writers I read this week talked about his journey’s. He has done much traveling recently. I can relate to that even though I haven’t moved an inch yet.
We are all on a journey whether we journey in the same place our whole live or venture far away. It is a life journey and it brings us to many places. We experience so many things on our journey and if we are lucky we learn much.
As I near (next month) my 80th year I can see all the twists and turns that my life has taken. The journey has been eventful and, I hope, will continue to be so. Our experiences help us to grow and become wise. That is why in generations past the elderly were so respected. They had so much wisdom to impart. We still do if there is anyone to hear.
I have been blessed with children and grandchildren who sometimes take advantage of my wisdom and benefit from it. I hope that can continue and that those who come after can use what us older ones have to share.
I want to write about my husband. He graduated from West Point in 1962. It was shortly after that there was war in Viet Nam. I won’t comment on that war except to talk about my husband.
He went there for the first time about 1967. At that time he was a Captain and was assigned to be a company commander. To this day he talks little about his time there other than the moments that were amusing in some way or good stories to tell. He has never talked about the other side. Thankfully he did not have PTSD although I’m sure there were times when all that he experienced he felt deeply. He did come home with malaria and still has attacks of it to this day.
He has never talked with his children or grandchildren about those days. As we prepare to move things have been pulled out of closets and they discovered that their father has 5 bronze stars for valor. To read the commendations fills me with pride and love.
When he returned from his first posting I received a letter from the men in his company sending us money they collected for us to go out to dinner. The letter said that he was the reason they were still alive and that he was the best company commander they had ever seen. He deserved that and it meant more than any other accolade.
He did have to go back for a second time and worked with the The Montagnard people who are the indigenous peoples of the Central Highlands of Vietnam. He loved these people and brought home some of the weaving the women did. This is a bracelet much like the one I have.
They were given as a symbol of respect and friendship. He was made a member of the group he worked with which required him to drink their version of an alcoholic beverage which he said he barely got down. He respected them greatly.
He has always followed the traits learned at West Point of Duty, Honor, Country and always will. He expects people to behave with integrity and be truthful. The many times he is disappointed he accepts the ways of the world and moves on.
I am proud of his life and he will continue following those things he learned at West Point for the rest of his life.
One of the difficult things during this time is trying to get everything in order to move. When one has lived somewhere since 1976 there is a lot to remember, get changed and the paper work done. Unfortunately my husband is only able to help some. The things he can do are a big help but for the first time I feel the burden is mostly on my shoulders.
I know that all will get done but I do seem to be a little overwhelmed. Oh well. Things will go on and I will be able to relax once all is done.
Paperwork is a pain in the neck and I am throughly tired of it. It seems that everything is much harder than it should be. Always something else needed or something going wrong.
Today I was talking with my daughter and she mentioned a term that is used in business a lot to describe what competitors do. The term is FUD an acronym for Fear, Uncertainty , and Doubt. I realized how true that phrase is and how often it is used
It is certainly the way of life for the press. If they can spread FUD on a subject then they will get everyone’s attention. In today’s world it may be the only thing we hear both from the news and from politicians running for office. I don’t think that I have heard one positive ad for anyone….have you?
The Black Live Matter issue uses FUD also. In fact some proponents of that movement use it physically with violence. If enough people are afraid maybe it will work.
Today I was watching a British crime drama called Endeavour. Something was said that immediately caught my attention and I was quick to write it down and add it to my quote book. It does relate somewhat to all of this.
“Cruelty is like cancer. It starts with one cell and grows until the whole body is riddled with it.”
The cancer is growing egged on by FUD. What are we learning today?
Violence is good? Fear is good? Hatred toward others is good?
Compassion, love, kindness are bad? Acceptance, understanding and respect toward others is OK for some and not others?
It reminds me of a quote from Benjamin Franklin. “All men are created equal but some are more equal than others.”
I have been working filling out the rental application and agreement for the apartment we will live in temporarily in Austin. I think they have asked for everything except my firstborn son.
The interesting thing is that I filled the forms out as the primary renter and my husband as just a resident. What I got back to finish filling out was it all in his name. I guess discrimination against women has not yet gone away. Maybe besides the Me Too movement we need Women’s Lives Matter.
It is interesting how things like that make you stop and think.
It is hard to write about something philosophical when your mind is occupied with making plans to change your life. There are some things that I just can’t bring to mind right now. I feel as if I am in a fog. I haven’t even been able to read much and that is very unusual. I am hoping that once we are settled again my mental acuity will come back.
I have always been a curious person. Reading everything in sight from a very early age. I loved history, English, psychology whatever was next in front of me. I went to college for the second time in my forties and studied nursing reading way beyond what I needed. Loving what I was learning.
In my 50’s I decided to study the new things going on in physics. One of my friends is a physicist and she said “you are reading physics for fun?” Yes it was fun.
This last few months have drained me and my curiosity is on vacation. I know it will return and I am looking forward to that. There is so much in the world and I want to explore everything I can before I shuffle off.