I just remembered a story that I must have heard on a TV show. It was powerful but didn’t get into my quote book. I have been too stressed to see aha’s when they come at me. I want to share it here and am sorry that I can’t tell you where I saw it.
A woman felt guilty about some gossip that she had passed on and went to ask her priest to confess and ask for forgiveness. He told her to go home and take a pillow from her bed and go to the roof of the building with scissors or a knife. She was to rip holes in the pillow and come back to him. She did what he asked and went back to see him. He asked her “what did you see?” She said “feathers flying everywhere.” He said “go back and find all those feathers.” She protested that it would be impossible.
Lately I find myself unable, or maybe I should say unwilling, to write. It’s as if I can’t get in touch with my thoughts and get them down here.
Today I have finally gone back to meditation thanks to the app Insight Timer. This is by far the best app I have found for meditation. It is amazing. I am hoping that getting back to my much needed routine of silence and quiet will bring my thoughts into focus. It doesn’t work to avoid yourself with distractions.
Years ago I had the best yoga teacher I have ever found. She was absolutely amazing. Yoga class was not just one hour but an hour and a half. The last 30 minutes were spent with meditation. By the time I had to move away meditation was my life support. It took me calmly though a surgery that made me miss Christmas with my children. I want to be back there.
It is hard to get back into a habit. We have to consciously make the effort. It so much easier to just vegetate. I am done with that.
Christmas will soon be here and advent is my favorite season and I have almost let it slide by me. Today is a new day!
I haven’t written in so long that I will be surprised if anyone remembers me. I seem to function well day to day but can’t spend time thinking. TV has become my escape. I don’t like this version of me. It is up to me to change this. Choices are there I just have to choose well.
My dogs continue to worry me. One is with my daughter for a short while and the other has some health issues that concern the vet. I hope we can pin down the problem soon and that it is minor.
My basset hounds are big dogs with short legs which means that they can pull me down or trip me up easily. I fell earlier this week getting tangled with Crash. (on carpet thank goodness). No major hurt except for muscle pains. I feel blessed that it wasn’t more.
As I look back over this short post I wonder where the real me has gone. I will do better! I am determined!
I recently read a book called “Lakota Woman” by Mary Crow Dog. This was an eye opener. Canada showed up in the news this year for abuses done to native children in their past. They have even instituted a new day of remembrance called National Day for Truth and Reconciliation. This day is to honor and mourn those affected by the treatment of indigenous peoples.
In the US there has never been any major acknowledgement of the many atrocities visited on our own native population. I was unaware of many of the things done and the book made me angry that we have never done anything to set this right.
We were invaders in their territory and greedily grabbed their land and moved them onto reservations that are barely able to support life. We took their children and subjected them to the same kind of abuses that showed up recently in Canada.
We have spent years recognizing the wrongs done to those who were brought here in slavery but have done nothing about our “First Nations” population. We need to learn and hear more of the abuses focused on these people. We need to address the wrongs that have resulted in them being considered “lesser” citizens and change our image of their culture and history.
The stories of these abuses need to be bannered in our news service, taught in schools and our past evils brought to light. There are holidays for others in this country. We need to do the same for “First Nations.”
What is this new world that we are living in? So many people are sick and it is hard to not feel as if it is their fault since so many of them were not vaccinated. It is a terrible world when people are so frightened by words spoken by politicians that they can’t care for their own health and that of others.
How did we get there? How can we make the changes necessary to create another environment. It is so sad. This virus could have had a better and faster outcome if paranoia had not set in. When people are scared anything can happen.
Who is to blame for all of this. To sort of quote the words of Pope Francis ” When no one is to blame then everyone is to blame.”
Today there has apparently been a lot of conversation about the Jeep commercial on the ball game last night. This whole thing is such a mystery to me. People are taking sides and giving their opinions of what was meant and why it was done. What about just considering what was said and how the words themselves have make people think. The fact that there has been so much discussion certainly lets us know that it struck a chord whether good or bad.
Instead of just fussing about each side what would happen if those talking could think about why this brought out so many opinions and thoughts? What if real discussion could take place and questions could be asked about what could be done to change the reality of so many splits today and why everyone has taken a “my way or the highway” position. When I was in my 20’s and 30’s people were allowed to take a different position without is causing anger and vituperation. Is there any going back? Is there any way to change? I hope to God there is.
The number of covid cases here continues to rise exponentially. Yesterday there were more than 1200 new cases in Austin. That is truly frightening. I guess people are so tired of all of this that they are just going about their business and not caring about being exposed. I so look forward to the time when we can get the vaccine.
Life in the apartment is fine and cleaning is easy but I do miss the view. There is something about water flowing that soothes my soul. I keep fighting depression and homesickness and some days are fine…others not so much.
This virus and the kind of life it has brought to all of us has been and continues to be challenging. Life has changed forever and we just have to learn to adapt to the new reality. Sometimes I am glad that my parents didn’t live to see these changes. They would have been appalled by how our country has changed.
We must continue to speak out about how things should be. We can’t be silent for that is what leads to bad outcomes.
It has been interesting to see on local world wide media that since the covid outbreak the environment seems to be improving. Some animal species that were on the way down are increasing. Animals that haven’t been seen in some area for quite a while are not being spotted.
Not only is wildlife changing but air quality, flora growth, and other indicators of positive change are happening. It is too bad that when this all dies down we will proceed to make these changes go away. I wish we could keep on causing improvements. I hope someone is smart enough to see this and point it out to the world at large. I am but one but I am one and I am saying keep this going!
Maybe if others join me we can star a whole new trend.
An old man said: I never wanted work that was useful to me but loss to my brother. For I have this expectation, that what helps my brother is fruitful for me. From Desert Father in Desert Wisdom translated by Yushi Nomura
How often we spare no time for what our desires do to others. We think nothing of climbing over someone to get a better job. Students cheat in class to get the best grades—-hurting themselves and the other students. And in today’s scene people aren’t wearing masks because is it annoying to them…taking chances with someone else’s life. So many think only of themselves. We live in a “me first” world.
We have to turn things around and teach values to our children…values that respect others and understand that our choices can hurt others. We have to train up compassionate and loving people.
Life is moving on. My husband is due to come home on Monday. At least that part of life may return to some sort of normal. Even covid is becoming familiar and there is beginning to be a pattern to life. Yes, we are wearing masks (at least some of us), yes things are different…no big gathering of people, careful distancing….but moving on. Maybe things will never be the same but we will find a way to accept what is.
As humans we have the strength to change if we are willing. Each of us will have to make choices that will affect each day but it is up to us.