What we can not what we wish

I love having my daughters here. They have been a big help. We have accomplished a lot and are moving ahead. It remains to see how Hap’s recovery goes and how far. This will take time.

Once again we are stuck up against all the changes in the ways that society can interact. Around here I see most people wearing masks which wasn’t happening before. Maybe people are finally getting it. I hope it lasts.

We have all been so weighed down and fighting our way of life. Maybe it is time to step into a new mode and learn to fly again. I am realizing that even though there are things that I can’t do there are also things that I can do and I am going to do them.

According to current information I can eat outside at restaurants with distancing from other customers. I will be taking advantage of that. We have many places with the option to eat outdoors. My knitting friends and I can meet wherever we can find a safe place and there actually are some options for that.

So life goes on. And it is up to us to decide how to accept what is….not what we wish it could be.

Let impatience go

It is hard knowing that I am going to be living in confusion for a good while. I don’t like confusion. I like my life to be in order but that is not going to be. I know that it will all be worked out but I want it finished NOW!!

Patience is not one of my virtues. I am notoriously impatient. Maybe not as bad as some younger people since I didn’t grow up in an era when things happened over night. We did have to do a lot more waiting. Internet shopping was not available. Heavens we didn’t even have a TV until I was about 10. I have just learned to be impatient and now I have to move that away and think about how it used to be.

We were living at a very fast pace. The world was spinning more rapidly and getting faster all the time. This lull has taught us some things about patience. We have been waiting to get out and be with others. We still have to be very careful and wait. Now I have to put that into practise.

Life changes when we least expect

This is a difficult post to write. Since my husband has been recently diagnosed with dementia our life has changed. We will learn and adapt as we go but some major changes will have to be made.

Our home is one that requires us both to be able to help with its maintenance. It is really too much for me to manage on my own. It is time to move forward and find the right environment for both of us. This will be heart wrenching and particularly hard on my husband but we need to do it now and get settled for the future.

My aunt ( who was really quirky) always said that if you do all the things you CAN do at the moment then you can stop worrying. This is my plan. We will be taking one day at a time. There are still some medical issues to be resolved and the virus hasn’t helped getting those done but we will get there. God is with us.

There have been lots of ups and downs in our life together. This is just another down to get through and look forward to the next up. On the 9th of June we will have been married 58 years. A wonderful journey.

Choose fun!

Today I bit off more than I could chew. I needed to make more communion bread (not a problem) but then decided to make Hummingbird Cake. Also not hard but somewhat time consuming. I don’t know why I wanted to do that. I have no company coming and we will not eat a whole cake. What was I thinking?

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This is not my cake

Nevertheless I did all of that and am planning to give away large slices of the cake. Some people are in for a good evening when I take it to them.

Now I am really tired. This is what happens when there are many things to be done that you don’t want to do. Any way to escape. Now tomorrow I will have to tackle the things I put off but I have no other plans….so that will work.

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I think sometimes you just have to give in to a whim. It makes life more interesting. Just sticking to routine, no matter how comforting, can get boring. Don’t be afraid to jump into something you love. It will make life more fun.

We are not perfect so TRY!

Usually, when we say we can’t do something, what we means that we won’t do something unless we can guarantee that we’ll do it perfectly.      The Artist’s Way

I am so guilty of this. Growing up my father was always encouraging me to try lots of different things. So many time I wouldn’t because I didn’t think I could do it well. The sad part is that I missed so many opportunities by not trying.

It took me way too many years to try anything I want to experience. I am not afraid any more of not being perfect or of failure. When I started my last job I told people that if I gave a presentation and it didn’t have an error then I didn’t do it.

So many times I post blogs with errors because my mind is running faster than my fingers. I know, I know I should check them over but I get ahead of myself.

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We are not perfect. We never will be. Don’t miss out on things because you are afraid of not doing well. Life is too short not to try!

Live now!

rilke quoteI have this quote hanging where I can see it when at my desk. It is so powerful. There is always so much that we don’t or can’t understand and we can chew on it over and over. Rilke says that we have to let it go and gradually we will be able to live into the answers.

If we persist chewing on them we can’t move forward. We have to LIVE today. We can’t be obsessing over things we don’t understand. Let it go.

Clean out those mental closets

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Sometimes while thinking about our life we can see the places where we went off the track. It can be quite disturbing. Often we don’t want to open the doors of those closets where we have stored our missteps. The truth is that is how we learn. Looking back we can usually see very clearly how we stumbled off the path. The good news is we can also see how we got back on it.

Don’t be afraid to throw open the doors of your mental closets, sweep out the dirt, and leave it clean. Each day of life is an opportunity to learn something new. Take advantage of it.

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