Waiting

waiting-isnt-punishment-its-preparationAs I said yesterday, waiting to find out what a hurricane will do is tedious terror. My sincere hope is that it goes out to sea and spares anyone the trauma of a major storm. All we can do is wait. Not something fun in the best of circumstances. So we do the best we can by being ready to leave or just hunker down for the duration. The price we pay for living in all the beauty around us.

Prayer, meditation and calm are in order for the next few days. If we get to stay and just wait out any rain and wind it can be absolutely beautiful. Mother Nature in full charge can be amazing to watch. I love to sit on the porch, when possible, and just experience the beauty of it all.

Thoreau-empathy-quote

I feel so much anguish for the Bahamas. The amount of devastation on those islands can be unbelievable. I weep for them.

Small steps = big changes

change will happen

When I began this blog I was in a very dark hole. I was struggling to find my way and a purpose for my time. I am happy to say that in the last two years I have come a long way. I do have meaningful purpose in my volunteer work with the Mediation Center. It has even grown more powerful recently in my shift to doing Community Conferencing. (the program that helps keep teens from the court system)

 

I have developed some habits that make my life so much better and let go of some that were pulling me down. I still have a way to go but being able to see progress is so wonderful.

Keep-going

 

Whatever you are facing in your life it is possible to make changes. We get bogged down because moving forward seems so slow. Don’t let that get to you. Just one step each day…one positive step will make change happen. We all backslide from time to time but keeping on is the key. Trying to learn to let each day be the focus is hard and I’m still learning but things are better. They can be for you too.

Taking in strays with love

There are some days when you don’t feel the least bit creative. Recently I realized that I have written almost every day since July of 2017. How in the world have I managed to do that? I guess I can say that my brain is running all the time. I wish I could have the kind of ideas that would produce a novel but that is not me.

I think a lot about helping other people. I grew up in a family who cared deeply about others and helped where they could. Over the years I have made the comment that we “take in strays.” My parents had two war wives living with us during WWII. They were there for years until their husbands came home. They got jobs and became part of our family. For me, they were like extra aunts. I grew up enjoying a variety of people.

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During my teen years we had two school teachers living with us. They were the big sisters I never had. I learned so much from them including how to sing harmony. We washed dishes in the evening and sang.

I learned early on that for me, sharing problems made them less scary. I also was there for anyone who wanted to lessen their own stress. This was also true in college when I seemed to attract all those with were seeking a listening post.

Our travel during my husband’s military service exposed me further to different places and different faces. Life was varied and good.

My husband retired from the service after 20 years and since then we have been in one place. We have continued the family tradition and have housed friends of our kids and one friend of ours who was with us for a year after the kids were gone. People asked why we would have someone move in with us until our friend painted all my kitchen cabinets. Then they wanted to know if he could live with them.

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We have no one extra right now except for our two rescued bassets. They are such a blessing to us. I continue being a sounding board for others and am able to share my joys and griefs with friends. There are always challenges and things that make me step back and struggle but I will keep on exploring all that life will bring me.

Thank you for reading these ideas and thoughts through the years.

Peace

Addendum: For some reason this was difficult to write. I couldn’t seem to get down exactly how I was thinking. I hope it makes sense.

Seeking peace. I think in a way we are all reaching for that. From my limited experience that’s what leads people to suicide. For them there seems to be no other way to find peace.

Each of us looks for peace in our own way. It may be religion, it could be alcohol, it could be drugs. Some find it in nature, other people, family. There are so many places to look. I remember a story from many years ago in a mystery book about Mrs. Pollifax. (by Dorothy Gillman) This is a paraphrase of the story:

God is having a conversation with Gabriel. He is talking about giving mankind a soul. They discuss where it could be put…the highest mountain, the deepest part of the sea, but God says mankind will look in those places. Then God says “I know, I will put it inside him. He will never look there.”

seeking peace

That is where peace is to be found. Inside us. The trouble is it will be difficult to find. We are affected by the things around us. Life is challenging. I think that there are few of us who can “feel” peace all the time. Maybe the mystics…maybe those like Mother Theresa or Gandhi. I’m sure they would say that they don’t have it all the time either.

So what in the world am I talking about? I guess I am just looking at the times I do feel peace and savoring them. They don’t seem to be any more permanent than anything else.

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.”     Ralph Waldo Emerson

“AHA” a new tool for me

I didn’t write yesterday as I came home exhausted from taking a class on Community Conferencing. This is a program that works with the school, courts, police, to deflect teens with offences to a resolution process instead of getting them into the system. The trainers told us that where they are teens who have been through this process are 60% less likely to re-offend. I will see how this works for me.

One of the people who was also training told us about a way she looks at people’s differences and how they live. She broke it down into this.

Tolerance: She is tolerant of how others live and their opinions.

Acceptance: She will accept that the way may not be her way.

Approval: This is where she steps back and feels she doesn’t have to approve.

The-aha-moment

 

This makes so much sense to me. I may not agree with you but I can be tolerant about your life and your opinions and accept that you want to live that way but I don’t have to approve of it.

This is a way to break it down into pieces and be a tolerant and accepting person without agreeing with what it is. There are people who I love but cannot approve of their lifestyle. For me, it is usually when I see it as hurtful to them or others.

This may not work or help some people but for me It was sort of an “aha” moment. Another tool to put in my toolbox and help me understand and move on.

With thanks to Yolandra for this insight!

A “holy” task

I'm having trouble breathing.

 

Today I have been down. When I worked in the garden the other day I carried around a sprayer that was quite heavy. It was slung on my right shoulder and now I have a pulled muscle next to my shoulder blade in the back. The strange thing is it has caused some anxiety since I can’t breathe deeply.

This minor problem has made me appreciate what it must feel like to not be able to breathe properly. It is scary. I know that I can breathe just fine but a deep breath hurts. That make you want to take deep breaths.

Everyone has their physical problems. Some more than others but each of us has some part of our body that is weak. There is so much research that shows that even our mental health is physically connected. I wonder when everyone will realize that we are whole people and that our physical, mental and spiritual health is linked Medicine has grown in such a way that doctors know mostly about their own area. It is nice to see some practitioners using a holistic approach to treatment.

whole ness

 

We all must take care of our whole selves. It is a “holy” task.

Mastering Silence

There is so much noise in our daily lives that silence is almost unknown. When I worked for the church I would occasionally ask people to sit in silence for one minute. I actually timed it and after 30 seconds the fidgeting would begin.

silence power

There is not only no silence on the outside but there is little silence on the inside. Most of us have not learned how to shut off the voice in our heads. Since we have been so little exposed to quieting that voice it requires time and effort to learn how to do it. We decide that we want to try meditation and we can’t seem to settle and so we quit. It really is difficult to meditate in the beginning on your own. It is so much easier if there is a voice directing you. There are many Amazon Alexa apps that will take you through a meditation but even those aren’t always enough.

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The best meditation I ever did was in a group with someone walking you quietly through the process. A really good leader can help you explore more depths that almost any other way. I have not found many meditation experiences except in yoga classes and most of them don’t meditate long enough for you to get into the place where you can let everything go.

I am hoping to start a group but I don’t know if I will have any takers. It remains to be seen.

Face things and move on

Today I decided to bake some bread from a different recipe. It didn’t work. Although the bread rose initially after shaping it just sat there. After a little rise I decided to bake it and it promptly fell. After taking it out the taste was great and the texture wonderful but it only rose the slightest bit. Won’t use that recipe again. Back to my own recipe that works every time.

my-bread

Bread baking is so therapeutic. I love kneading it with my hands. The silky feel of it and the smell when it bakes. (even if it doesn’t rise) The house smells so good. I was planning to take some to a neighbor but another day.

Things don’t always work out the way we planned. This was a small thing but when big things happen we have to move on just the way we do with the little ones. Sometimes it helps to fuss and #%^&*+#  some to make us feel better. If it is a truly bad thing it may take some time to get over it. I have a friend who says “take 24 hours for a pity party and then shake it off and get on.” I have actually found this to work for me. After the 24 hours are up I challenge myself to rise up out of the depths, take a deep breath, and move on. I think our minds just need time to absorb whatever new reality is facing us.

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Life is never boring but shakes us up to test our mettle. Those upsets don’t get to me as much as they used to except for life and death issues. Even then I have learned that those things can be faced and accepted even though they hurt. At my age one has to acknowledge that death is inevitable. Doing so brings a kind of peace.

If only we could learn to live each day knowing that it will never come again. Participate in life every moment instead of waiting for tomorrow we would be so blessed.

 

Weather the storm

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I saw this quote today. I sort of chuckled and know it is true. When we lived at West Point we lived on top of a mountain called Stony Lonesome. I would get up in the morning to a sunny day and dress accordingly. Going down to the post to shop I would discover that I truly was above the storm and it was pouring down below. I actually lived above some storms.

However, when we are talking about life it is not always possible to get away from the storm. It can sweep into life and change things as we know it. Those kind of storms can’t be escaped but they can be endured and will pass.

I have been in some long lasting storms in my life. Some that I never thought I would get out of but I did. During the storm there were friends and family who shielded me from the deluge and gave me something to hold on to. I have been blessed that I have not had to face things alone.

looking out for friends

I hope for everyone that they can find someone to anchor them in life. It may be God, a friend, a family member….it doesn’t matter who. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Only the strong are willing to reach out. It is not a weakness to need help. Don’t suffer on your own.

Here on Word Press is one place you can reach out and know that you will be heard and answered. This is a loving and giving community at your fingertips.