It is hard knowing that I am going to be living in confusion for a good while. I don’t like confusion. I like my life to be in order but that is not going to be. I know that it will all be worked out but I want it finished NOW!!
Patience is not one of my virtues. I am notoriously impatient. Maybe not as bad as some younger people since I didn’t grow up in an era when things happened over night. We did have to do a lot more waiting. Internet shopping was not available. Heavens we didn’t even have a TV until I was about 10. I have just learned to be impatient and now I have to move that away and think about how it used to be.
We were living at a very fast pace. The world was spinning more rapidly and getting faster all the time. This lull has taught us some things about patience. We have been waiting to get out and be with others. We still have to be very careful and wait. Now I have to put that into practise.
Life has been pretty much up and down. My husband’s health fluctuates from day to day. Not critical but learning management is the plan. Yesterday was particularly tough but we got through it. I am still not sure about the underlying problem because the virus has made logical medical care impossible. We will root it out eventually. At least the hospital stay ruled out major problems. I am sure there are others suffering from the same issues.
Something else to make life uncertain. We will all be lucky not to need a short time for what was called in the 50’s a hospital stay for out nerves. Too bad that’s not possible any more. A couple of days rest and relaxation with someone waiting on us would be wonderful. Anyone what to join me? A long time ago a friend suggested (when life was stressful) a Cruise to Nowhere. It showed up in the New York paper and sounded like a wonderful idea. Not so great now with the status of cruising.
I do find myself without lots of energy to tackle any big projects. Some things I will have to do and will get done. Others will just have to wait. I think looking toward the future is a big question. We know that life will go on but will have to cope with the shape of things. We can do it! We can’t give up or the virus will have won. This is not acceptable.
Most of us are still here and still functioning. Keep going things will change.
The small things matter. Many times we look at the “plan” or the “big Picture” and forget that there are many steps to get there. Then we get discouraged when it takes time to come to fruition.
Nothing is accomplished without the small steps. Nothing gets done without us putting in the work. To get an education we have to study, to learn a skill we have to practise. Nothing worthwhile is done without work.
Things have been happening around here as usual. Actually I should not say as usual for nothing has been as usual. My computer came back from having a drive replaced without all the programs installed. I knew this would happen but it hasn’t made things easy. One of the programs that I use all the time, living cookbook, is no longer available and I don’t have access to hundreds of recipes. So I will be correcting that in the next few days. Nothing is ever easy.
Also my arm that I hurt about a month ago is now starting to really hurt. As a nurse, I suspect, that it is a pulled tendon and I have just been ignoring it. Now it’s decided that it doesn’t want me to type. Which is not altogether bad because it made me installed my Dragon software which allows me to talk and not type. Be aware that this can cause some peculiar mistakes so please forgive me.
That’s enough of my woes. We have to remember that all the aggravations in life are just that… Aggravations. No one is ill in my family or in any crisis for that I am grateful. perspective on what is wrong and what is right is required. It is so easy to get lost in the things that are wrong and not appreciate everything that we have in life. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and a family that I love. These are the things that matter.
There are times that things seem to accumulate. And so many things happen at once that it can be difficult to overcome. We have to learn to be aware of that and not blow it completely out of proportion. The countertops that we expected today will not be here until next week which means that nothing else can be done for another week. Another week before we have a bathroom and I can go back to sleeping in my bed. Not such major problems when you consider the things that others are going through.
Counting my blessings every day is something that I have to remember to do. For only then will I be able to keep my composure when everything seems to be going wrong. I will have to start posting the things I’m grateful for on the other bathroom mirror. That way I will be reminded to keep life in perspective.
Life continues to be interesting. This morning my Keurig quit. I use a golf cart to work in the yard. it is my workhorse. It wouldn’t go this morning and the cart that I hook to it has a ruined tire. I guess I should be happy since I have no plan to do yard work without it but there are things that need doing. Fortunately I have another coffee maker so life continues. Also my computer has gone to the hospital and I am using my laptop which I am poor at typing on so please forgive any flubs. Hopefully nothing else will go wrong.
We have been told that next week countertops that are slowing any more progress on our bathroom will be installed next Tuesday. So we sit with nothing being done until next week. The good new is the rest will be done quickly??? I hope.
Someone recently questioned me why “at my age” I would do things like Community Conferencing, Mediations or other volunteering when I could be playing bridge or joining clubs. What a question! I believe that “at my age” we should be giving back with what we have gained through living this life. I explained that to them….probably to no avail. Oh well, I tried.
We still have no idea what the hurricane will do. It is moving so slowly so we just have to continue to wait and see. We do have somewhere to go if we have to leave but it is not easy, at our age, to board up the house. We have metal shutters but they have to be carried around to the front and screwed in. we will manage but hope we don’t have to.
Again I feel such anguish for those in the Bahamas. It sounds as if the islands will just be swept over with water. I hope that anyone still there survives.
Even though we are waiting life itself goes on as usual. It’s funny that I am not triggered by this situation. It is physical problems that trigger me. Each of us has different things that set us off. It is helpful to know what it is.
I hope that the people redoing the bathroom will be able to work some this week but who knows. Again it will be a waiting game. I guess waiting will be my middle name for the near future. I will be testing my patience. Not something I am especially good at.
As I said yesterday, waiting to find out what a hurricane will do is tedious terror. My sincere hope is that it goes out to sea and spares anyone the trauma of a major storm. All we can do is wait. Not something fun in the best of circumstances. So we do the best we can by being ready to leave or just hunker down for the duration. The price we pay for living in all the beauty around us.
Prayer, meditation and calm are in order for the next few days. If we get to stay and just wait out any rain and wind it can be absolutely beautiful. Mother Nature in full charge can be amazing to watch. I love to sit on the porch, when possible, and just experience the beauty of it all.
I feel so much anguish for the Bahamas. The amount of devastation on those islands can be unbelievable. I weep for them.
I hate medical tests! I don’t care if they are simple or not. The thing is they are finding out if there is something wrong with you. Apprehension is the name of the game. There is also the thing that the medical community can be so slow on reporting the results. You sweat and worry only to find out there was nothing. I may do this worse than others since I am a nurse. However, testing is done and I will more on from there. These were routine and I can check it off my list.
Medicine is certainly not set up to help anxiety. Some tests require extensive time for results and that can’t be helped but for others there must be a better way. It is hard to watch someone who had tests for recurrent cancer have to wait a week to find out the results. The people doing most things like MRI’s and CT’s have instant results. The delay is getting it read by a physician and reporting the results to the ordering physician and then to the patient. Surely we can find a way to streamline this process.
Maybe they will report the results in my autopsy.
My daughter goes to a clinic that does Mammograms, Bone Density Studies, X-rays, etc all in the clinic. You have those done and then see the physician who ordered them right after. What a great system. We need more of this! I think I will move to where she is!
When you have many parts to your family it is seldom without drama. As I get older I try to stay as far away from it as I can. I don’t do drama well any more. I would rather not.
Sometimes I can let it slide right off of me.
There are people who love drama in their lives. They take the time to create it. They enjoy the attention. They want everyone to get involved and the more complicated the better. I like to stay away from people like that.
I think life creates enough drama on its own without any help. I like some excitement now and then. (different from drama) Otherwise I prefer my mostly peaceful existence. Just keeping myself and my husband well and moving each day is enough.
Stay away from those who deliberately create drama. They are selfish and want attention and can make your life miserable. And, by the way, they are not all women.
Technology is wonderful….until it isn’t. The more complex it gets the more can go wrong. I have spent three days trying to resolve a problem with my cable, phone, internet, provider. Their system has become so complex that even the people who work for them don’t know what is going on.
The first person I dealt with was in the store. A very nice person who admitted that so much had been changed with their offerings that he was unsure about what channels were available with each plan. My husband was adamant about having certain channels and we were assured that they would be there. You guessed it…they weren’t. I had a very unhappy husband when he turned the TV on.
Next I got on a chat session with another agent who assured me that adding one premium channel would fix the problem. Ha! Didn’t happen.
The next morning I again chatted with an agent. In the meantime I had spent time on the web site searching for quite a while to access the channel line up so that I knew what had to be done. I told the agent what was necessary to fix the issue. He agreed but then wanted me to sign up for home security. The total would be less that I am paying now. Because of that I agreed. He made the changes and guess what? Still no channels!
This morning I again tackled the problem with another agent on chat and wrote out step by step what I wanted done. I didn’t give him a chance to decide. By this time I could work for the company. Finally what I needed was taken care of and we are all set.
It is amazing that things have become so complicated that even the people who work with them don’t know what is going on or how to fix things. I am reasonably tech savvy and wanted to just do the fixing for them.
My level of frustration was high after all of this and I took to gardening to reach a level of calm. Potting plants can sure remove tension!