Another day is fading into night. It reminds me of the “gloaming” and I love the image. I continue to move ahead each day trusting that my path will unfold before me. I still struggle to stop worrying about what tomorrow will bring. Both my husband and my mother frequently chastised me to not let the future ruin the present. They were both so good at living in the day. May I too learn to do the same.
Today was a different day. I dropped off one of my dogs early this am to have her teeth cleaned and a cyst removed from her back. I expected to pick her up about four this afternoon. It is now 7:15 and I am still waiting to get her. They had emergencies and didn’t do her stuff until 6 pm. Not what I had planned. Now I will have a dog just out of surgery and not herself to care for tonight. I love her and that is ok but this didn’t work out well. Hopefully things will work better later. New vets….just have to learn if this is the one for my pups.
Yesterday I got to visit the place that I hope to move to. Once there I will never have to move again. After all, at 80, I’ll be blessed to get to 100 with all my faculties. There is so much there. The place is connected to thee University of Texas at Austin and professors come to teach classes. Residents have set up many activities for themselves and they travel and enjoy life. I hope to never stop learning so this sounds perfect for me.
I will also be glad when we can all get back to church. I know that following all that has happened and may still be a problem life will be different but I hope that we will be able to be with other people more than we can now. (wow…long sentence…maybe needs editing)
A Frightening thought
Today has been quiet. I am still learning how to function here in Texas. After all it has only been 2 months since we moved. With the rate of the virus being so high I have switched to picking up food that I have ordered.
I still feel deeply for those who have no support and have had to deal with this completely by themselves. This has been a tragic time and a terrible beginning for the new year. It is worrying that our country is in so much turmoil. It is strange to be living where there are people who think that insurrection is the cure for problems.
It is actually frightening. I have lived my life in a country that believed in the rule of law and now I don’t think that idea will last. The people who did this come from groups who have been gathering for some time and now may be consolidating. This may continue to be a hard time for us.
BLACK – grey – WHITE
Today I have decided that I am a grey person living in a black and white world. I don’t mean grey as a color but the middle ground between black and white. People are either on one side or the other. With race you are black or white…forget Native Americans (First nations), people whose skin is tan, brown, yellowish, reddish, half of one thing and half another. You are either one or the other.
I really wish we could all have our DNA tested to discover what different colors show up in our genes. Having been raised in the south I would be willing to be that I am a certain percentage black?/brown?. Who knows what else might show up. Could certainly be First Nations.
In politics there is also no grey. We are all being bombarded with negative information. I have only seen one positive commercial during this whole campaign. I was awed to see it.
I grew up in a grey world. People could talk without rancor. There could be actual discussions. Real debate. I didn’t watch the debate because I suspected how it would go. It wasn’t a debate but a diatribe by both men. We are being overcome by the negativity of things. Positive no longer applies. This is worrisome for me and my descendants. We have to revive the positive. There is a middle and we have to find it. It is imperative!
A Share from a blogger that needs to be read
This article came from a blogger that I love beautybeyondbones. Because of my funky relationship with Facebook I have had to copy and past rather than forward. I hope you find this article enlightening. It is from https://beautybeyondbones.com/2020/09/03/nyc-needs-the-police/
I don’t have to tell you about society’s current tidal wave of hatred and detest towards our men and women in blue. Battle cries to “defund the police;” publicly canceling anyone who even considers that “blue lives matter.” There is a quelling uprising against law and order, and while – sure, it may seem “woke” and a noble bandwagon to jump on, the fact of the matter is, there are serious consequences to alienating those who are there to protect and defend. And that is being seen in full scale in Manhattan, no matter how much the mainstream media may try to downplay it.
(And Mom and dad, I apologize ahead of time for the worry this post may ignite. Please know that I am being safe, taking precautions, and frankly…not doing anything stupid to get into a dangerous situation.)
My friends and I got back from Maine on Monday night at midnight. And the city was lights out. Dead. For a city that used to literally never sleep — where you could go out at any time, on any day, and see swaths of people milling around — it is alarming that Manhattan is so quiet. And why? Because half of New York has left, and those that have stayed behind are scared to go out past 10.
Outdoor restaurants close at 10 pm. Historically 24-hour CVS’s, bodegas, and diners — now all close at 10. Parks – which have never been gated up…now, locked with a chain and padlock at 10.
Why? Because it is no longer safe to be out after dark.
Perhaps you may be thinking I’m overreacting. Sure…just a typical overdramatic millennial who’s extra skiddish because she’s a young woman who lives alone. Please. I have never once felt scared in NYC. Ever. Until now.
It was such a shock to go from “Mayberry,” Maine back to Gotham. The night my friends and I got home, I got a text from one of my friends — that morning, there was an arrest made in her building. A homeless man had been living in her stairwell for MONTHS, and had been stealing packages. This was in a super nice building on the Upper West Side — arguably one of the nicest, most affluent neighborhoods in Manhattan.
A man. Living in her stairwell.
Which is particularly alarming and crazy, because she had been getting her packages delivered to my doorman building for quite some time now, because all of her packages were going missing.
Crime is up.
You may recall the incident I had just a few months ago: where a BLM radical YouTuber accosted me outside my building, and forced me to get on my knees and hail BLM while he livestreamed it. I was one of a string of young women he “vlogged” that day.
Graffiti tags are absolutely everywhere. The population of homeless people has soared, and so has their boldness. My friend was curtly confronted by a homeless man who pressured her into VENMOING HIM money, when she explained she didn’t have any cash.
My “neighborhood watch” Citizen Ap on my phone pings incessantly throughout the day and night, notifying me of crime in my current vicinity. Unsettling reminders for sure.
These are not just isolated incidents. Homicides. Robberies. Burglaries. All have skyrocketed recently. And why? Because cops are afraid to do their jobs anymore.
Why put your life on the line, when — if you act to defend yourself, it could be filmed and end up on national news where you’ll be labeled a racist, and prosecuted?
They’ve had enough. And so they’re walking off the job. In startlingly large numbers.
The NYPD has recently cited “ongoing challenges,” including an “increase in retirements” and “deep budget cuts.”
That is terrifying information. Terrifying.
In case you missed it, back in June, one billion dollars was cut from the NYC police budget. And the impact of that are now beginning to be felt.
What is going to happen to our country if law and order is not the backbone of society? Truly? What will our world become?
Now here’s the tough part. Because yes – we need to support our men and women of the badge – but it is also true that there are “bad apples” that are drawn to the allure of the police force, and the power and -sadly, weaponry- that goes along with it. But to completely throw the entire baby out with the bathwater, just because of a problematic bunch…it is wholeheartedly unwise.
Are the horrific and heartbreaking incidents of unjust police brutality that have happened in recent months absolutely unwarranted, unjust, and deserving prosecution? One hundred percent yes.
But those handful of terrible, terrible incidents do not color the vast majority of blue men and women who truly have dedicated their lives and their livelihoods to protecting and serving the community, and keeping people safe.
It is a job that I cannot imagine waking up and doing every day.
And it is a job that, yes, probably should have more training and vetting, and support, and accountability, than it currently does.
But we need to support law and order in this country. Without it, we are creating a scenario ripe for malice, and foul play, and all sorts of corruption. A scenario that we are beginning to see play out in Manhattan.
Today was a continuation of yesterday. It seems that none of our current physicians, including the Mayo clinic, consider themselves unable or right, to provide the next medication that my husband needs to switch to on Monday. Surprise, surprise! After spending most of the day working on this problem the Visiting Nurses managed to get him in to see an Infectious Disease specialist who is wonderful. The appointment is for tomorrow morning.
I am really concerned about him although he is better we need to get everything in place for this transition and God willing the meds work. I am so mentally tired that it has also made me physically tired. Tomorrow will tell the tale.
If you pray, pray for us…if not send good thoughts. Peace
“And this too shall pass”
Since my husband developed this UTI life has not only been abnormal because of Covid 19 but also because of dealing with someone who can’t think straight. It is better but not totally gone. God bless all those who live with an Alzheimer’s patients. I really don’t know how you do it.
The anxiety has taken its toll on my mental health and my body. IBSD has flared up after being gone for quite a long time. I know that all of this will end but I want to hurry it up. Living as we do we are mostly alone. We have some family here but they are unable to help much. It is not the day to day help I miss but the comfort of hugs and contact with friends. I am a person who knows the comfort of human touch. I count on it. It is what I miss the most. With my husband not well I feel very alone.
This is my time to spend time with God and that has been helping. I also keep in mind my grandmother whose favorite quote was “and this too shall pass.” She had such strength and faith.
There are many who are suffering much more that I and I hope they can find the resources they need, stay well, and survive the physical and financial crisis. There will be many to help in the days to come and it is up to us to do what we can.
Remember my favorite quote:
‘ALL WILL BE WELL, AND ALL MANNER OF THINGS WILL BE WELL’
Julian of Norwich.
Like most of us these days I am concerned about Corona Virus. You would have to have your head stuck in the sad to not be aware of the danger around us. Since my husband and I are in the vulnerable group we do have to be careful.
I think this is the first time in my life where I have felt anxious about being at risk. When we are young we think nothing can hurt us. As we grow older we can see the pit falls that could harm us but to some degree feel they happen to other people.
The thought of being quarantined in the house for weeks is daunting. I am an extrovert and enjoy people. I will miss my interactions with others but I will manage. When I think about it I can feel my anxiety pulling at me and I am holding fast to my ways to avoid any problems. If one of us get the virus then I will be panicked so we will hold the fort at home as much as possible.
I have written about this happening before so I am not surprised that it is happening. After the two other viruses (Mers and Sars) it was like waiting for the other shoe to drop. Thank God, although serious enough, it is not more serious than it is. I pray we don’t have another anytime soon.
Well today we have been told that this is a National Emergency. This virus has awakened people to the danger of illnesses arising that can cause major havoc. I think many have seen this coming but no one wanted to believe it. I am sure that all of us are worried and anxious about what the next weeks will bring.
I am hoping that the measures outlined today by the president and others will help this pandemic to fade quickly. Maybe it will help us to have measures in place to react more quickly.
The next while we will see some logical responses and some idiotic ones. Who would have thought there would be a run on toilet paper? I hope that everyone is covered and there will not be a toilet paper panic.
I am so sorry for those whose lives will be ripped apart by this pandemic. I hope everyone will be able to manage during this time and not be devastatingly impacted. Prayers for all those who suffer from the virus whether physically or economically.
We actually prefer our own stuff
I am not sure if I have written about this before but I wasn’t going to look through everything.
A while ago I went to a conference where the speaker asked everyone to write their worst problem on paper…no names….and pass it up to the front. She asked us if we would want to come up and draw out a problem that we would then be responsible for. Needless to say there we no takers.
We all consider our problems to be the worst. We have lived with them and struggled but we know them. We understand them. We really don’t want to take on someone else’s stuff.
I guess the lesson we learn is that we each deal best with what we already have and know about. Maybe we can take heart from that.