Category: acceptance

A sad outcome

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, choices, compassion, consequences, dogs, Uncategorized

The days have been dark, rainy and cold. Not fun for me. I am sun oriented. Tomorrow should be better. Last night I went out to a party for the first time since surgery. What I learned was it was too soon. It is so hard to remember that we do need time to heal. I am so used to being constantly on the go that I don’t seem to be able to stop.

It was a good lesson and I will be more careful. Christmas is a busy time and one that makes it hard to slow down.

good but sad choice

We also had a dreadful experience this morning. We heard our two bassets outside barking and howling frantically. When we checked that were facing a raccoon. Raccoons are not out in the daytime here and to have one not only out but challenging our dogs was a bad omen. My husband and I went out. I corralled the dogs and he approached the coon who did not run away. Also very unusual. It was very obvious that the coon was very sick. Couldn’t walk well, was disoriented and shaking as if with some sort of palsy.

The population of raccoons around us has had a problem with rabies and distemper. The raccoon was in distress and I suspect from his behavior it was distemper. He was going to die …and soon. He was at risk for encountering other neighborhood dogs who would also be at risk so my husband took the best outcome and shot him. We both felt so bad but it was best for everyone. We both hate killing anything and have both been sad about it but there was little choice. He would have died in pain and fear.

We are both animal lovers and want the best for any animal. We have near us a sanctuary for local wildlife. My husband spoke with them and they said what was done was best. It helps but we still feel bad.

Keep going

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, advice, balance, belief, change, commitment, coping, habits, health, life changes, persistance, routine, work

Believe-1-575x675If there is one thing I have learned in the last week it is that a 79 year old does not bounce back. My husband has had several surgeries in the last few years…mostly from jumping out of airplanes in the army. I have had none. I have always been supportive of him during his recoveries but I am not sure I have appreciated just how hard it is to get back to your best you can be.

He has been so supportive and kind to me with this surgery which was not a bad one (as surgeries go), I guess experience is the best teacher.

I have no complaints today other than being tired. I am usually the energizer bunny but have had to listen to my body and rest. I am grateful that everything went so well.

I have always spent a lot of time crossing bridges before getting to them. This time I was better than usual. I think the time I have spent learning new habits and applying the needed skills did make a difference. My journey to be “worryless” is advancing. I’m not at the end but making progress. We can get better but it does take work. Seeing this improvement encourages me to continue my efforts and keep going.

keep-going-cute-motivational-poster-900x1200.jpg

I think that it is easy to get discouraged when we can’t see progress but it will come with time. Just work your way through one day before considering the next. Things can change.

Nothing is perfect

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aggravations, aging, balance, choices, community, divided world, moderation, opinion

I was speaking to someone today and we were both wondering why our generation (60+) has less trouble tolerating the vagaries and foibles of various churches. We each do not attend one that totally offends us but we take for granted that none is perfect. We just seek out the one whose values are closest to our own.

Nothing-is-perfect-quote

I think that over the years I have sought a place where I can feel accepted and supported. I have a need to be in a Christian community. I would imagine that may be true of anyone in any faith. I don’t spend time pointing out my differences of opinion or the places where I see the train running off the track. I am entitled to my own thinking however strange it may be to someone else.

meet me halfway

This way of belonging has taken a big hit. More people are anxious to find differences are dwell on them. It’s as if they don’t want any kind of community. The sad part is I don’t think we are by nature loners. We need others for our survival and sanity. At least I do. When things go wrong in my life it is those others who will help me to weather the storm. They may not all be my very best friends but they will go out of their way to help.

I seems that my generation is more willing to compromise and understands that nothing in the world is perfect.

Preparing for surgery with new focus

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, anxiety, centering, choices, coping, hope, life changes, medical, persistance, perspective, prayer, thankful, Uncategorized, wisdom

The events of the last few weeks have been stressful but organized. I am to have surgery on Friday to remove the other half of my thyroid. It is pressing on my trachea. The Dr. visits and pre-surgery were especially good with pleasant, wonderful, caring people and greatly efficient. The whole process has gone exceedingly smooth. It was moved from Tuesday Dec. 3 to this Friday as the Dr. decided to work that day. Now just to get it done and headed back to my ??normal?? self. The surgery itself it not difficult we just don’t want to find any unexpected problems.

consistency (1)

As part of my journey I have worked hard on finding new ways to reduce anxiety in my life and some of it is paying off. My consistency with prayer, meditation and focus on each day has really improved. That doesn’t mean that there haven’t been moments but nothing like before I started this journey.

Consistency and a determination to live more fully and joyfully are making a difference. I may succeed in conquering it before I shuffle off the planet. The lesson learned it that no matter how many times spent backsliding getting up and going on it what matters. Each day is progress….maybe not so visible but it is there.

candle hands

If you pray keep me in your prayers and if not send good thoughts my way.

Whatever

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aggravations, appreciate, balance, choices, coping, decisions, expectations, perspective, Uncategorized

hourglassThe sun is shining beautifully outside but in here it is raining on me. For the last several months things have been breaking or going wrong around here but it hasn’t stopped yet. I feel as if I am in the bottom of an hourglass just waiting for the sand to cover me. None of the things have been major but they are piling up.

We had a leak on our property and our water bill was enormous. I dropped and broke the glass on my Kindle. It still works so I will see if it can be fixed. I caught the back edge of my car on a bike rack and that has to be fixed. (again no major damage…just aggravating)  My printer quit so I have to get another one. Somehow it is time for this to stop.

On the plus side my grandson, wife and great grandson are coming for Thanksgiving. We are so excited about that. We always have to take the bad with the good.

In spite of all of this the sun is shining and life goes on. I realize that perspective is everything. If our expectations are that everything will always go well we are in for a big shock. I think that is why we can be so disappointed. Our expectations are so far off from reality. It is how I choose to live each day not what happens. Many of the things that have gone wrong will be funny when they are in the past.

perspective 2

Choose to roll with whatever happens. It makes us happier.

Be kind

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, choices, compassion, connections, courtesy, empathy, habits, kindness, understanding

 

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.    Plato

I have realized how very true this is. I have met so many people who, on the surface, seem to have everything together. It is only when I get to know them that I find out what is under the surface.

Sometimes those things we don’t see will cause someone to be angry or unpleasant. We will want to get away from the as fast as we can. Another person my be upbeat and bubbly. We like them right away. We gravitate to people like this. It is only when they are comfortable sharing their inmost thoughts that we discover the trauma and pain they have endured.

kind3-1024x683

It is easier to be kind to the upbeat person. It is a natural response. It is much harder to be kind to those whose behavior turns us off. The truth is both need our compassion and understanding. Kindness goes a long way toward making someone’s day better. You never know what good you may have passed on.

Losing Freedom

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aggravations, aging, answers, change, community, connections, consequences, create, depression, help, life changes, Loneliness

One of my favorite writers https://earthwalkingworld.wordpress.com/2019/11/16/let-the-looting-begin/   began his post today talking about the freedom we achieve when we are first able to drive. I would like to talk about the opposite problem

As we grow older our ability to drive can decline. Whether it is due to vision, slowed reaction time or mental losses we may have to stop driving. In many European countries this is not such an issue since public transportation can take someone anywhere. Those who live in city centers can walk many places and if they are able to do that don’t lost that freedom.

innovation in aging

For most of us who live in the US driving is our key to mobility and therefore our independence. The hardest thing to convince us as we age is that we can no longer drive. For those who have enough money to Uber everywhere it may not be a problem but the majority can’t do that.

For those who live alone losing the ability to drive can cause isolation which leads to depression and going downhill. I wish there were a simple solution but there really isn’t one. As the age of our population increases the problem will become more acute.

Creating a volunteer group of drivers who would be willing to help people run their errands and be with friends would be a good solution. I wonder if anyone has done this if so I haven’t heard of it. I hope someone does it in the future.

People matter

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aggravations, balance, choices, consequences, coping, emotions, expectations, perspective, problems, sadness

expect-e1573855705917.jpgToday is my 79th birthday. I was hoping that it would be a good day but my hope was in vain. While backing out of a parking place my car caught on someones bike rack and pulled loose a part of the side panel on my car.

This is my favorite car that I have ever had. It is not going to be difficult or expensive to fix as it looks as if it just needs to be popped back but it really got to me. I don’t know if it’s because I was expecting a good day or if it is because the car is my favorite.

It is not usual for me to be so upset about something like that but I am. Just one of those days.

 

I have talked to many times about how life is never boring and here it is again. The fact that it is not boring can be because of something good or something bad. Today it was something bad. We will get the car fixed and all will be well. Now all I have to do is get myself back to a better state of mind. By tomorrow this will just be a bump in the road. After all, for me, it is not things that are important but people. Remember that when things go wrong that can be dealt with.

love-people-feature

People matter!

My list

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aging, appreciate, balance, calm, centering, choices, commitment, coping, learn, life, perspective, understanding, wisdom

I have gotten better about some things as I have aged. On Friday I will turn 79 years young. The year before eighty. It seems like a milestone. It has made me think about the things I really can do something about and came up with this list.

  1. My choices and actions
  2. My attitudes and priorities
  3. The people that I chose to be with
  4. How I use my resources both physical things, my energy and my emotions

If-you-create-a-vision-for-yourself-and-stick

These are the things that I have some control over. Anything else is not something I need to worry about, stew over or waste time on.

Now the only things I need to do is to stick to this list.

Life and death

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, advice, answers, balance, comfort, connections, death, life, perspective, understanding, wisdom

Years ago I was distressed by  a family’s loss. In an auto accident one young daughter was killed. I felt that her life had been cut short. A minister friend had a different perspective. He felt that each of us has a life span that is ours alone….just as we are all individuals.

khalilgibran1-2x

I was reading a novel today and came across a similar thought that was attributed to the Gullah people of coastal South Carolina and Georgia. The book is “Gullah Secrets” by Susan Gabriel. Living near and having cared for Gullah people I have always respected their wisdom.

An elderly Gullah woman says: “Like a story, every life on earth has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Sometimes a story lasts only hours. Sometimes days, years, or decades……It is not about the lucky or the unlucky. The good or the evil…..Life and death are in an eternal dance just like that whirlwind. Wind and sand. Sand and wind. A dance across time.”

This vision of each of our lives is comforting to me. My birth and death are mine and are as unique as I am. Life and death. They both continue.