Category: coping

Hunkering down

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, anxiety, consequences, control, coping, danger, decisions, health, medical, perspective, plan, safety, understanding, worry

Like most of us these days I am concerned about Corona Virus. You would have to have your head stuck in the sad to not be aware of the danger around us. Since my husband and I are in the vulnerable group we do have to be careful.

I think this is the first time in my life where I have felt anxious about being at risk. When we are young we think nothing can hurt us. As we grow older we can see the pit falls that could harm us but to some degree feel they happen to other people.

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The thought of being quarantined in the house for weeks is daunting. I am an extrovert and enjoy people. I will miss my interactions with others but I will manage. When I think about it I can feel my anxiety pulling at me and I am holding fast to my ways to avoid any problems. If one of us get the virus then I will be panicked so we will hold the fort at  home as much as possible.

I have written about this happening before so I am not surprised that it is happening. After the two other viruses (Mers and Sars) it was like waiting for the other shoe to drop. Thank God, although serious enough, it is not more serious than it is. I pray we don’t have another anytime soon.

National Emergency

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aggravations, anxiety, community, consequences, coping, danger, fear, health, hoarding, medical, sadness, worry

Well today we have been told that this is a National Emergency. This virus has awakened people to the danger of illnesses arising that can cause major havoc. I think many have seen this coming but no one wanted to believe it. I am sure that all of us are worried and anxious about what the next weeks will bring.

I am hoping that the measures outlined today by the president and others will help this pandemic to fade quickly. Maybe it will help us to have measures in place to react more quickly.

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The next while we will see some logical responses and some idiotic ones. Who would have thought there would be a run on toilet paper? I hope that everyone is covered and there will not be a toilet paper panic.

I am so sorry for those whose lives will be ripped apart by this pandemic. I hope everyone will be able to manage during this time and not be devastatingly impacted. Prayers for all those who suffer from the virus whether physically or economically.

Over the hill?

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aggravations, aging, balance, comparisons, coping, decisions, family, humor, labels

With all the hype about the Corona Virus is has been a shock to me to realize that my husband and I are in the high risk zone. Good grief are we now really old? I remember riding in the car with my mother when she was 95 and she said “I think I can consider myself old.”

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That is what I was hoping to do but heavens all the news people are making it clear that we are already there! I refuse to believe it.

My children have also called to warn us about being around large groups of people. It reminded me of the time they told me to make baby blankets so that if I was not around there would be some for their grandchildren. Have we fallen into the Twilight Zone?

We will be cautious as that is the smart thing to do but really!

 

Pick your battles

by worrylessjourney, posted in accountable, consequences, coping, decisions, discretion, mistakes, perspective

Image result for pick your battlesOne of the hard things to learn in life is which battles to fight. It is so easy to get caught up in something and turn a mole hill into a mountain. It took me a long time to back down and not get caught up in the moment.

I can remember arguing heatedly with one of my children about what to wear to school. The outfit wasn’t that bad…just didn’t match. If that happened to day I would have just let it go. Amazing what we learn with time.

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This also applies to conflict with a spouse. Sometimes it is just better to not be charged up by what is going on. I am so much better at that now than I used to be.

Some battles are not that important. They really won’t matter in the big scheme of things. Learn what battles really need fighting and when to just back away.

Older and Wiser

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aging, change, coping, learn, the past, viewpoint

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.  Anon

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We will never know what is coming next. At least I don’t want to know. Not knowing can be scary as in the quote above but knowing may be worse. Life moves ahead and what comes will change us one way or another. It is no good to stress over it.

Most of the things that I have learned from the experiences of my life have been used later for something unplanned. For me, life has taught me things that can be shared with someone or used in some way myself.

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Just like the “Ugly Duckling” what comes may be a huge surprise and who knows ….it may be wonderful. Even if it isn’t it may be useful and help us to grow. I don’t know if life has made me better (since I can’t judge me) but it has certainly made me wiser.

Change your mind not your plan

by worrylessjourney, posted in accountable, aggravations, choices, coping, persistence, understanding

It is so easy to think that we can’t do something. Recently I was making a baby blanket in crochet. I haven’t done that in a long time. Not a difficult task one would think….but I got a short distance into it and decided I couldn’t do it. Now it is sitting in my yarn pile waiting for me to change me mind.

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Yes, it is my mind that needs changing. By becoming easily frustrated with it I decided that I couldn’t do it. I was struggling and I quit. I can’t tell you how many times I have done that with something.

The mind is an amazing thing. It can help us or hurt us. Learning to focus on that positive side can be difficult. I can finish that blanket. It may frustrate me at first but I can do it and I will.

I put off

by worrylessjourney, posted in accountable, anxiety, choices, consequences, control, coping, feelings, habits, plan, viewpoint

We procrastinate. I think we all do. We put off things. Those of us who have anxiety would rather suffer being anxious than tackle the thing that is causing the problem. We would rather obsess about it and keep putting it off. This make the anxiety blossom and nothing has gotten better.

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I am better at doing things than I used to be. Somewhere along the line I discovered that doing the thing I dreaded got it our of the way and then I felt better. Sometimes the list has to be scrapped until the next day. Sometimes I fall back into the trap of putting things off and then I suffer for it.

Image result for listsOne of the things that got me started was some advice a number of years ago. The person suggested making a list of the things that needed doing and then prioritize them. You may not get to the end of the list each day but you will be able to cross some things off. Seeing those cross outs makes you feel better. It also tackle the things that I obsess about first.

It doesn’t work for everything but is does help with some things.

 

The elusive memory

by worrylessjourney, posted in change, connections, consequences, coping, feelings, memories, moments, PTSD, remember, remembering

The events in our lives happen in a sequence in time, but in their significance to ourselves, they find their own order…the continuous thread of revelation.  Eudora Welty

Our lives move forward on a continuum. Events happen every day. Some events are memorable and some are not. I have always found it interesting the things we have stored away and can recall and the things we can’t. Our memories are selective. Our brains store information….probably everything we ever did but most of it cannot be recalled.

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I have been asked about my earliest memory. I have a memory but it is not really clear. I am standing in a crib in my mother and father’s room. That is all there is. There is no context…nothing more than that. I don’t know why I have that memory. It seems to have no significance but there it is.

Image result for memoryOf course we remember traumatic events or days of special happiness but we don’t always remember the specifics and our memories will usually not match those of others who were there.

It is also interesting how memories can be triggered by other senses. A certain smell can cause recall. I grew up in Virginia and my family had large privet hedges around the back yard. When I smell privet it brings back memories of that place.

Music can remind us of a particular time that we heard it. We also experience the feelings associated with those memories. This can be a good thing but in the case of persons who have had a trauma it can bring it all back full force. That is what happens to those with PTSD. The memory comes with all the feelings of fear and horror.

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How our brain keeps memories and which ones come to light is not fully known but more is learned each day.

 

 

 

Watch out for the wall

by worrylessjourney, posted in abuse, addiction, anxiety, bipolar, community, connections, coping, depression, family, friends, healing

I often think of Robert Frost’s poem about building a wall. He is thinking about what happens when we do this. We can wall things out and sometimes we have to do that to survive. Many victims of abuse can only manage by walling the abuse out. Some have even developed different personalities to not be present themselves. This is the extreme example.

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However, we do need to be careful about walling those around us out. Usually what we need for healing begins outside of ourselves. We need others whether in the form of therapist or loving friends/family. We have to be careful not to wall out the help we need. If we are fragile it is so easy to stay inside our protective shield but this is only a temporary solution.

Try and find those who can help to pull you out from behind the wall and eventually tear it down altogether. In that place is healing.

Small steps

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, choices, coping, impatience, learn, little things, perspective, small steps

The small things matter. Many times we look at the “plan” or the “big Picture” and forget that there are many steps to get there. Then we get discouraged when it takes time to come to fruition.

Nothing is accomplished without the small steps. Nothing gets done without us putting in the work. To get an education we have to study, to learn a skill we have to practise. Nothing worthwhile is done without work.

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The small steps get us there.