Tomorrow I begin a new journey. When I started this new path my daughter said that since I can do what I want I am in “sampling” mode. That is, I can try different things to see what I want to do. I am not a person who can just sit home and I need to do something that helps. I begin Mediation training tomorrow. I will be volunteering as part of the civil court system to help people come to some agreement rather than go to court. I know that this will be challenging but I have mediated so many things in my life that it sounds interesting to me. If it doesn’t work for me I don’t have to do it.
I have to be at the training at 8:00 am and I am no longer used to getting up early so it will be a new perspective. The training is three and 1/2 days long so I think I can put up with it for that long. I have the advantage to work when I want.The schedule is flexible.
Getting out of the house and learning something new will be good for me. I have not only been vegetating but also less happy. I need challenges and I need growth to keep me from anxiety and depression. I am so much better when I have a focus. I hope that it helps me get out of the rut I have been in and ease my IBS.
I am of the opinion that when we focus on helping others we tend to focus less on ourselves. We have less time to obsess and sink into a depressing pattern. Helping others is so rewarding on many levels. We develop a sense of self worth and feel better about ourselves. Just knowing that you have made a difference in another’s life is a blessing. Maybe if those of us who tend to spend too much time in our own minds could lead a life of giving ourselves we would experience some healing.
Helping is healing!
I woke this morning remembering the dream I had just before waking. For some reason I had provided a banquet for a large number of people and now was cleaning up mostly by myself. It was a combination between a home and a commercial kitchen. Some of the things I was cleaning seemed to be someone’s treasures and required special handling. I had been cleaning for the whole night and now was almost done but exhausted. I woke feeling that I had been working all night.
When we have dreams that we remember it is interesting to think about what they might mean or where they came from. Sometimes it is evident as something you did during the day is connected to the dream. Those dreams make sense.
I have no idea where this came from. I cook for one other person and he helps clean up after we eat. I don’t know that I have ever been left holding the bag after some group dinner.
The dream connect me to a recent Gospel read in church. It was the parable of the bridesmaids and the oil. Some of them were ready and some were not. The ones who were not ready were closed out of the banquet. The whole time I was cleaning up after the banquet I felt that I had to hurry because something else had to go on in that place in the morning. Is there a message there for me about preparing…….about being ready?
What is it that we are to do to be ready? God calls each of us to His plan for us. We each need to do keep faithful in prayer and study so that when the plan is revealed to us we are ready.
If you want to make God laugh tell him your plans. I was at church this morning and the minister said “God is not manageable.” This is so true but I don’t think we really get it. So often we are tempted to try. Awhile back there was a book out called “The Prayer of Jabez” ( I think that is right). It seemed to me that the book was saying if we say certain prayers and do certain things everything will be well for us. ( If I got it wrong I’m sorry) The trouble is that we can’t make God do anything. There is no formula that we can use or computer code that we can design to manage him/her. We are not perfect and there is no way that we can measure up. We just have to accept that there is God’s grace.
We want so much to be in charge. That is when we feel safe. If we have OCD this is even more critical. We are compelled to organize our world or we can’t cope. That’s why the idea of God is so difficult to grasp. How can we depend on an unmanageable God?
A friend of mine did refreshments after church today in honor of the day (she said) her son went home to glory. We often question why did God let her son be killed in an auto accident? Unfortunately, there is no satisfactory answer to that. We come right back to the fact that we can’t make God the way we want. If we try we are putting God in a box of our own manufacture. God may not be the God we would make (if we could make one). God says “I am that I am.” Certainly cryptic enough.
We cam’t spend our time trying to understand the ways of God. We can only spend our time having faith that we are loved and are children of God and covered by grace.