Category: coping

One thing at a time

by worrylessjourney, posted in choices, coping, enlightening, ideas, perspective, routine, small steps

do itSometimes I forget to not leap ahead of myself but just concentrate on one thing at a time. Getting one thing done feels good. When I do I stop obsessing on the things not done.

A long time ago I worked for a company that handled case management for insurance companies. As nurses, we reviewed medical information and (the company was a good one) usually recommended doing the right thing. It costs less in the long run and that was how we explained it backing it up with figures.

While there a huge caseload was brought on to do with workers compensation from the state of Texas. I was handed that account. It was overwhelming. The amount of files on my desk was tremendous and daunting. After struggling with how to handle it I took the files and adjusted by date it came in and status of the patient. I stacked them up that way and just pulled one at a time. It was amazing how much I was able to get done once I stopped obsessing over how much there was.

Now as I face dealing with my husband’s medical issues I have realized that I have to one stepdo the same thing. Instead of worrying (useless) I have evaluated what needs to be done in what order and have started contacting doctors ect., setting appointments and moving ahead.  We will solve things one at a time.

From day to day

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aggravations, anxiety, coping, mental health, stress, wondering

light-even-in-darkness

I hate sharing that things have been difficult at my house but I will share some of my thoughts. It seems it is necessary for me to write since that is my outlet.

My husband has not really recovered from his hospital stay. Initially his mental status was almost back to where he was but that has not lasted. He wavers from day to day. Some days are good and some are not.

The virus has made seeing doctors and determining the problem almost impossible. We move ahead one day and fall back the next. The hospital lost some of his ID’s and we just managed to replace his military ID thanks to the wonderful staff at the nearest post. They made getting a new one so easy! One thing accomplished.

As we manage appointments and see doctors as possible we will get closer to some resolution. Knowing what is going on will be so helpful. This day to day fluctuation is so frustrating.

We are keeping on keeping on and I know that someday there will be answers. This would happen when there is so little to do about it. If only we could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know there is a light!

Making choices

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, accountable, balance, choices, coping, life changes, medical, moderation, responsible, small steps

Another day of sitting in my house and outdoors on the porch. It is beautiful but warm out. May is when we usually start almost summery weather. The yard is a mess so I hope that the yard people come tomorrow.. We don’t have them come often. It is too expensive but once in a while I need help to catch up. After they come I must get out and do some things myself.

gardening

I do enjoy working out in the yard except when it is super hot. It try to get out early in the morning and come in before it gets to me. Good hard work is the best exercise and I have been bad lately about avoiding it.

The prediction for us here is that we will have a huge surge in virus cases as things open up since we have not had a peak yet. We stayed inside before it really came here and now the timing my cause us a headache.

risk

There comes a time where some things that have been put off by this virus just have to be done. My husband’s medical issues, though not life threatening, have to be dealt with so some Dr. visits are necessary. We do have to live our lives and do the critical things in spite of the risk.

Years ago my youngest daughter was going to Japan as an exchange student. Shortly before she was to leave a commercial place was shot down by mistake. I don’t remember the exact circumstances but I was afraid for her to fly so far. My husband made the comment that we can’t stay away from risk forever. We do have to take some chances….reasonable ones.

I think the country may be coming to that point. Some places have peaked and it may be necessary to go out for some things. Those of us at high risk will shelter as much as possible but there will be limits.

Hang on!

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, change, coping, fight, health, hope, impatience, life changes, mental health

life-is-always-up-and-down-so-why-are-you-8796618 (1)

Life has been pretty much up and down. My husband’s health fluctuates from day to day. Not critical but learning management is the plan. Yesterday was particularly tough but we got through it. I am still not sure about the underlying problem because the virus has made logical medical care impossible. We will root it out eventually. At least the hospital stay ruled out major problems. I am sure there are others suffering from the same issues.

Something else to make life uncertain. We will all be lucky not to need a short time for what was called in the 50’s a hospital stay for out nerves. Too bad that’s not possible any more. A couple of days rest and relaxation with someone waiting on us would be wonderful. Anyone what to join me? A long time ago a friend suggested (when life was stressful) a Cruise to Nowhere. It showed up in the New York paper and sounded like a wonderful idea. Not so great now with the status of cruising.

Hamster hangs on a rope isolated on a white background
You can do it!

I do find myself without lots of energy to tackle any big projects. Some things I will have to do and will get done. Others will just have to wait. I think looking toward the future is a big question. We know that life will go on but will have to cope with the shape of things. We can do it! We can’t give up or the virus will have won. This is not acceptable.

Most of us are still here and still functioning. Keep going things will change.

 

Some plans don’t work

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, consequences, control, coping, learn, mistakes, plan, Uncategorized

Yesterday was an interesting day. It was my husband’s 82nd birthday. I spent most of the day preparing his favorite meal. We were having our son and family and my best friend to sit in the yard and eat while social distancing. I worked all afternoon on the perfect meal and it was good.

DogHousePlans

It was a good idea. At least that’s what I thought. My husband is hard of hearing and it is getting worse. He will need to get hearing aids and soon. Sitting far away from people made it almost impossible for him to hear any conversation and really the whole thing was too tiring for him. It was nice but I won’t plan anything like that again soon.

The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men
Gang aft agley, An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy! Robert Burns from To a Mouse

Things don’t always work out the way we thought but we have to make the best of it. It’s best not to dwell on it but to just move on to the next thing.

 

Feeling stifled

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, balance, centering, communication, community, connections, coping, decisions, hope, humans need humans, life changes

Today has been a good day. I managed to get myself moving and got some things done. It felt good. I think that one of the problems with this isolation is that it seems to sap your energy. The temptation is there to stay in your pajamas all day.

I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free - Billy Taylor - YouTube

We seem to be at that point where the desire to be “free” is making everyone fidgety. You just want to break out and live life as you remember it. Unfortunately, the state has reopened some businesses…hair salons, gyms and ??? tattoo parlors. It will be interesting to see what happens. I would be willing to bet we will see covid numbers rising. It is logical that beginning to loosen the restrictions should be a gradual thing otherwise there will be second round of problems.

File:ABC - Always Be Careful.jpg - Wikimedia Commons

I really hope that very soon there will be some treatments that prove valid even if we have to wait for a vaccine. Just knowing that there is treatment if sickness occurs would be wonderful.

In spite of the things I have been doing to keep myself intellectually stimulated and my mind awake I find myself dull. I guess like everyone else I just miss contact with others. Continue to stay safe.

What will we learn?

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, accountable, answers, consequences, control, coping, important, knowledge, learn, share, strength, understanding

problemsI feel awful about not posting yesterday. I lost the day. The night before I had what I think was food poisoning. I was fine by morning but exhausted. I was feeling sorry for myself. Here without my husband and feeling miserable. Later that day one of my friends called and her sister’s husband caught the virus while traveling and died at 44 years old. His wife, working as a nurse, had damage from a tornado that struck their neighborhood. Her sister cannot have her husband transported home or have a glimpse of him. He died with none of his family around. There are so many people who have more crisis than anyone should have to bear. It certainly put my life into perspective.

Each of us has our own problems. Even though we can see catastrophic things happen to others the feelings we have are still valid. Our own problems bring forth emotions that we have to learn to deal with. We may not have things wrong that seem more devastating than others but our own tragedies are ours. We have to absorb the emotions. We have to deal with the issues. They are important. They are ours.

learningcontinues

As each of us move through the things that cause us grief and pain we will learn things that we can use to help others when this is all over. Our experiences will help us gain new insights, new skills,  and new ways to cope. We will have much to teach others. Lots to share with those who come after us.

This crisis is hard but we can learn from it and share what we have learned with generations that come.

Bend don’t break

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, balance, choices, coping, life changes, persistence, understanding

“The green reed which bends in the wind is stronger than the mighty oak which breaks in a storm.”

― Confucius

reeds

We have to learn to bend like the reed. It bends one way and then another. Eventually it stands up straight again. When times of change force us to change ourselves we must become like those reeds and be flexible. When the crisis subsides there will be a new reality. We must adapt and thrive in the new environment. We have the strength. We just need the determination.

Change is possible

by worrylessjourney, posted in belief, change, coping, hope, persistence, perspective, try

change is possibleWhen I started this journey on Word Press I wanted to stop worrying so much over simple things and stop ruminating. Over the past several years I have learned much from the people I have encountered. I have made major changes in my thinking and my life. These things have helped.

What has not helped is what is happening in our world. It is one thing to obsess over things that will usually never happen and to be concerned over things that are happening. The concern is realistic and can’t be done away with. However, my changes have made me different so that even this current crisis has not been the tipping point to take me back to where I was.

keep walking

Lessons can be learned and applied to make life, though challenging, less likely to move us back to where we started.  We can learn and change and cope better. It is possible. Never give up and think it can’t get better. I can and will if you work at it.

Human touch

by worrylessjourney, posted in advice, anxiety, calm, comfort, connections, coping, help, humans need humans, try

human-touch-image-may-2018

Most of us are suffering from cabin fever or worse. We so need human touch. For those of us who are completely alone it is a devastating time. It is easy to fall into periods of depression and anxiety. We are not meant to be alone. One of the worst punishments for prisoners is spending a long time in isolation.

hug-yourslf-prints

I am going to suggest something that sounds totally ridiculous. You have to hug yourself. I am talking about physically putting your arms around yourself and squeezing tight. Stay that way for a while and repeat often. As strange as it seems it will help.

 

 

 

hug yourself quote