Today has been trying. I had to be at the eye center early for surgery to remove some cloudiness behind the lens. I used to be a morning person and I still get up early but I can’t get going easily. I just need some alone time in the morning to get my mind going. When I have to get going early I don’t sleep well the night before. So I didn’t sleep well. The bad part is that we have to drive to the Mayo Clinic for a check up tomorrow. Three hours there and three hours back. I’m not looking forward to that. Once we get going I will be fine. At least the drive is time to think.
This waiting to move is so hard. I feel as if I am living in a time warp. I know it will be past soon and I am looking forward to that. And “all will be well.”
This is going to be a simple post.Since last Thursday I have been with my husband at the mayo clinic.He has been quite ill With an infection In his knee replacement. He also had some mild congestive heart failure.That has now resolved And the only issue is the infection in his leg.This is a serious infection and will Require Long-term Antibiotic therapy.We should be able to go home And have his therapy completed at home.I ask For prayers for his healing And that the infection is able to be cleared.I have missed my word press family During these few days and hope that I can keep up better.
I hate sharing that things have been difficult at my house but I will share some of my thoughts. It seems it is necessary for me to write since that is my outlet.
My husband has not really recovered from his hospital stay. Initially his mental status was almost back to where he was but that has not lasted. He wavers from day to day. Some days are good and some are not.
The virus has made seeing doctors and determining the problem almost impossible. We move ahead one day and fall back the next. The hospital lost some of his ID’s and we just managed to replace his military ID thanks to the wonderful staff at the nearest post. They made getting a new one so easy! One thing accomplished.
As we manage appointments and see doctors as possible we will get closer to some resolution. Knowing what is going on will be so helpful. This day to day fluctuation is so frustrating.
We are keeping on keeping on and I know that someday there will be answers. This would happen when there is so little to do about it. If only we could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know there is a light!
I wish that this quiet time away from the busy world was one that I could enjoy but not to be. My husband is still in care. He’s physically all right but still not mentally well. He is better. It is just so hard not knowing how this will all come out.
I don’t know if I will have the man I knew or someone else. Things will work out but the uncertainty of it all is harrowing. At this point the virus is of less concern to me. During this time not only has the world outside of my own surroundings changed but also inside my circle. Many people are caught in this. I am not the only one struggling. Some have more grievous things to bear.
I seem to do really well for a while and then I falter. I suppose this will continue until there are some answers forthcoming. Waiting has never been my strong suit. I am certainly learning to endure patience.
It will be different for us when we come out of this. I pray there will not be another pandemic coming any time soon and that we can be better prepared. Everyone is blaming everyone else the world over but I remember hearing some words of Pope Francis pointing out that if we all blame someone else them we have to accept that all of us are to blame. There are certainly judgement errors aplenty to share.
We must change. We must understand the nature of the damage we have done to the earth. Soon it will be too late and we must live with the guilt about what we are leaving our great grandchildren. We have to learn to live together over the whole world or there is no hope.
I am not sure if I have written about this before but I wasn’t going to look through everything.
A while ago I went to a conference where the speaker asked everyone to write their worst problem on paper…no names….and pass it up to the front. She asked us if we would want to come up and draw out a problem that we would then be responsible for. Needless to say there we no takers.
We all consider our problems to be the worst. We have lived with them and struggled but we know them. We understand them. We really don’t want to take on someone else’s stuff.
I guess the lesson we learn is that we each deal best with what we already have and know about. Maybe we can take heart from that.
Next week I have signed up for two tasks at the Mediation Center. One is a Community Conference with two children involved and the other is a standard mediation. The Community Conferences (I’ll call them CC) are hard. It is so sad to work with these teens and hope to get them to see there are better ways to deal with conflict that violence. In some ways I am not looking forward to it. I will keep on doing them for now and may have to evaluate if it is for me.
The other mediation is simple and sometimes it can be too simple but there is not stress involved. It is hard to weigh them against each other. I will just keep on for now and see how this goes.
It has been difficult to find time to write in the last few days. We have some family here from out of town and finding time alone is not easy. I miss it but I am also enjoying my family. This has been a good holiday but I will be glad to get back to normal.
One of the things that can be hard is to not be in a normal routine. It throws us off and makes it harder to relax. I will work through it in order to enjoy the time that we have together.
The holiday season can be stressful for most of us. It is easy to obsess over shopping and wrapping and cooking until we are worn to a frazzle. In the new year it is time to check how you are feeling and take some extra time to de-stress. The time after holidays can also be a let down. When we were living at West Point the cadets called it “gloom period.” If you live where the trees have all lost their leaves everything looks gray. It can make your life feel gray.
Find something to brighten your life. Go out to lunch or dinner. Treat yourself to a bubble bath or eat your favorite food. It will help you slide into the new year ready to embrace it.
One of the joys that I have being retired is that I don’t have to work with bullies or crazy people. Over my years of working I have had to deal with many different types. Fortunately for me the people closest to me were usually wonderful.
Over my working years I read a lot about how to handle situations at work and sometimes the advice worked and sometimes not. In my last job, as a parish nurse, the major frustration was not the staff but those elected by the congregation to sit on a board. The major headache is a typical one for any workplace in that the people who don’t do the work make decisions for the workers. If you are not the person doing the job you really have no idea how improve the work.
I think they were glad to see me go as in that job I didn’t have to work and was free to bring up any problems. May be why I am not there.
I once heard a consultant who “fixed” major corporations asked how he found out what needed to change. He said that he dressed like the workers, had no one tell anyone he was there, and spent time with those doing the jobs. He asked them how they did their job and how and what they would change to make it better. He took that information, wrote it up as his report and submitted it. I wonder if the companies followed his advice.
For years the common thinking among physicians was that anxiety and depression caused digestive symptoms such as IBS, constipation, diarrhea and possibly even Crohn’s Disease or Ulcerative Colitis. Now the pendulum is falling the other way. the Brain/Gut connection is becoming more important in treating people with such problems. I have long realized that my IBSD causes anxiety and if bad enough depression. I am glad that treating the whole person is becoming part of how medicine thinks.
We are definitely complex beings and anything that affects us physically or mentally cannot be separated out into one or the other. Physicians have divided up into specialties and seem to focus on that area. It is understandable as medicine has become so complex. You can’t know everything about everything. We need a different specialty the “wholeness doctor” who tries to put the pieces together. I know that there are now DO’s and other categories of people who look more at the whole person but we need more of it.
I hope that in the future we have those physicians who take the information from all of the specialists and put it all together. This is what Internists would like to do but getting the reports and information from other doctors is like pulling teeth. This has to be worked out also.
We are not parts stuck together but a whole just waiting to be understood.
Do you want to worry? I am sure if you try hard enough you can find something. I know that I can. I am having some medical issues that may be nothing or something. That is enough for me to stress about. Logic goes out the window.
I will, however, step back and remember the things I need to do to keep the worry in check. When it comes to health no amount of worry can change anything so it is wasted time. Will everything else going on time wasting is not an option.
Soooo back to meditation, positive thinking, prayer and spending time with those I love. What works for you when you are worried?