This is the first night that I have attempted to write anything. Having lived for almost a month in chaos has me really drained. We are finally able to feel as if we live in our apartment. It is a very quiet and tree filled area. It is, however, much different than living in a neighborhood where everyone smiled and waved to each other. It feels emotionally cold although I am sure that is just me adjusting to a different world.
Right now it is hard. My family is mostly busy during the week with work and school even though available for help and ememrgencies if needed. It feels very lonely although in truth no different than our former home during covid. Getting out is the same and it was lonely at home too. It just feels different in a different space. I know these feelings will pass and some of it is homesickness but at the moment it makes me sad.
Sometimes waiting is so hard. All of us waiting for a vaccine and for something to change. In lots of ways putting life on hold. We have to find ways to continue to live even if in a different way.
I am holding on to that hope for now and managing.
I am sorry to have missed so many blogs and so many of you on wordpress and on facebook. I will try to get back to my former pattern so that I can reconnect.
In this week coming up to Thanksgiving in the US I will be counting my blessings and they are many. Peace, Suzanne
I wish that this quiet time away from the busy world was one that I could enjoy but not to be. My husband is still in care. He’s physically all right but still not mentally well. He is better. It is just so hard not knowing how this will all come out.
I don’t know if I will have the man I knew or someone else. Things will work out but the uncertainty of it all is harrowing. At this point the virus is of less concern to me. During this time not only has the world outside of my own surroundings changed but also inside my circle. Many people are caught in this. I am not the only one struggling. Some have more grievous things to bear.
I seem to do really well for a while and then I falter. I suppose this will continue until there are some answers forthcoming. Waiting has never been my strong suit. I am certainly learning to endure patience.
It will be different for us when we come out of this. I pray there will not be another pandemic coming any time soon and that we can be better prepared. Everyone is blaming everyone else the world over but I remember hearing some words of Pope Francis pointing out that if we all blame someone else them we have to accept that all of us are to blame. There are certainly judgement errors aplenty to share.
We must change. We must understand the nature of the damage we have done to the earth. Soon it will be too late and we must live with the guilt about what we are leaving our great grandchildren. We have to learn to live together over the whole world or there is no hope.
Since my husband developed this UTI life has not only been abnormal because of Covid 19 but also because of dealing with someone who can’t think straight. It is better but not totally gone. God bless all those who live with an Alzheimer’s patients. I really don’t know how you do it.
The anxiety has taken its toll on my mental health and my body. IBSD has flared up after being gone for quite a long time. I know that all of this will end but I want to hurry it up. Living as we do we are mostly alone. We have some family here but they are unable to help much. It is not the day to day help I miss but the comfort of hugs and contact with friends. I am a person who knows the comfort of human touch. I count on it. It is what I miss the most. With my husband not well I feel very alone.
This is my time to spend time with God and that has been helping. I also keep in mind my grandmother whose favorite quote was “and this too shall pass.” She had such strength and faith.
There are many who are suffering much more that I and I hope they can find the resources they need, stay well, and survive the physical and financial crisis. There will be many to help in the days to come and it is up to us to do what we can.
Remember my favorite quote:
‘ALL WILL BE WELL, AND ALL MANNER OF THINGS WILL BE WELL’
Today was a yard day. I didn’t really want to get out there but the hedges were desperate. Do you ever bite off more than you can chew?
The hedges were filled with vines which had to be pulled and cut away. Then it was obvious that pruning and shaping were important too. The problem is the hedge is too tall and too wide to just easily fix it with hedge trimmers. It can be done but it is a major job and I was already hot and tired. Nevertheless, I plunged ahead. Hot and dragging I managed to get all but a tiny smidgen finished. There was an area dead center at the top where it required a ladder to reach. I dragged out a ladder and did about half of that before I realized that I was DONE IN! I managed to get into the house. Crawled up the stairs and into a cold shower. I could hardly stand so I leaned against the shower wall.
I was revived some, took some ibuprofen and am recovering. It was a stupid thing to do. I could have collapsed from heat stroke. Thank God I didn’t. Lesson learned. No matter how bad you want to finish there is a limit. Don’t go past it!