Category: compassion

Please no more this year..for everyone

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, compassion, connections, consequences, coping, empathy, help, kindness, prayer, sadness, share

train in tunnel

Hopefully today there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just hoping it is not a train. Our portion of the shoreline has been downgraded to “tropical storm” which we can handle. We have nor-easters here which are about the same. Nevertheless we will keep a close watch.

I still weep for the people in the Bahamas. I can’t even begin to imagine what it has been like to see that storm battering away for days without a break. I pray there are no more for them this season. What must it be like to have your home torn apart and not just yours but your neighbors and most of the island. I know that other places see this kind of devastation from earthquakes, tornadoes, fires etc. but it is always terrible.

Help-people-even-when-you-know-they-cant-help-you-back

We all need to do what we can to help the recovery there. It will be a long time recovering.

Hurricane and the aftermath

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, anxiety, compassion, connections, consequences, coping, danger, darkness, help, life changes, sadness, safety, weather

Well, no one knows where Hurricane Dorian will go. Waiting to see who will get this devastating storm is like watching doom coming one inch at a time. The storm when it hits is bad enough but most people don’t think about the aftermath. Electricity can be out for weeks or more. The heat and humidity are agonizing. Food goes bad, people have to leave their homes and if they have pets so many places wont’ take them. Then there is the rainfall and the flooding.

During a driving rain, Maggie Belgie of The Cajun Navy, carries a child evacuating a flooding trailer community during Hurricane Florence in Lumberton

Weeks are spent cleaning up debris and if your home is damaged it may take months or more to get things fixed. I still prefer a storm I can see coming to a tornado. At least my family can get to safety.

Please keep the people in the path of Hurricane Dorian in your prayers and good thoughts. This will not be fun or easy.

Below are photos from the storm that hit us several years ago. We were blessed. Some people lost everything.

hurrican savannah

The tree limbs went through the house into the great room. Things were all wet inside. We are high enough that we did not flood. Just wet from rain.house front after storm

Help where you can!

by worrylessjourney, posted in choices, comfort, commitment, community, compassion, connections, decisions, empathy, giving, help, understanding

Yesterday I didn’t write which is unusual for me. I spent the afternoon with my friend while someone came to get a history on her husband and help to evaluate her husbands mental status. He has had such a devastatingly physical journey that it has taken its toll. It took all afternoon to get it all down on paper.

She wanted me there because I have been on a good bit of this journey with her and could help with the history. Just having someone write it all down made me realize what an extensive and harrowing time it has been.

I feel so humbled by how she has weathered this whole scenario and my heart aches for all she has been through with him. I don’t think anyone can appreciate the level of exhaustion and stress seen when a long illness puts their partner into the caregiving role.

fragile

It is so important for caregivers to have time away from the situation. Without it their physical and mental status is at risk. It is a blessing when help can be afforded but in some cases that is not possible.

Most people just keep going and hate to ask for help. Frequently there are friends, neighbors, church members or others who would be willing to sit for a while with the ill person. When they do it is important for the caregiver to do something for themselves…..meet friends for lunch, go outdoors away from home, or whatever rejuvenates them. Too often they take that time for errands and tasks that must be done. This may be necessary but even a short while doing something they love will help.

bigstock-Sign-Directions-Support-Help-T-66470527-1

If you know someone who is a caregiver take the time to offer help. Be specific. Tell them you can sit for them or run errands or, if they can, take them out. Caregivers need all the help we can give. It is so easy to continue with our own agenda but remember those who have no time for themselves.

No labeling

by worrylessjourney, posted in appearance, change, choices, compassion, expectations, habits, kindness, misunderstanding, perspective, understanding

I was reading an old journal of mine today and come across the statement “Labeling is easier than compassion.” I don’t know if this thought is mine or a quote so forgive me if I err.

stop-labeling-people-just-because-they-are-not-like-you

It is so easy to label people. It is also easy to make snap judgments about who they are. How many times have I met someone and “assumed” what strata of society they come from or their level of schooling or intelligence. How often I have been wrong.

My son, when a teen, worked at a golf course’s shop. A man came in browsing. He was dressed in somewhat crumpled clothing and sported a battered hat. Fortunately for him my son just took it in stride and sold the man the things he wanted. Later someone told him the mas was Sam Walton…the founder of Walmart. How easy it would have been to think the man didn’t have the money to buy anything.

Labels are “odious” (Madeleine L’Engle). We have not walked in the shoes of the person we are labeling. We don’t know what kind of life they have had. Someone who seems angry man have been abused as a child.

jars

Having compassion for those we meet is the way to start out. Even if we don’t know what is behind their behavior or mindset. We can’t go wrong in setting our own behavior to believe they deserve our compassion. Maybe we can change lives.

 

Live this way

by worrylessjourney, posted in answers, appreciate, choices, commitment, compassion, connections, consequences, decisions, kindness, understanding, wisdom

I have long loved the Prayer of St. Francis. If we could all learn to live this way the world would be a much better place. Take these words to heart.Prayer-of-St-Francis-Peace-Prayer

Give of yourself

by worrylessjourney, posted in advice, compassion, connections, giving, help, kindness, listen, little things, prayer, understanding

This has been a beautiful day. The temperature is in the 80’s. A miracle for Savannah at this time of year. We were able to spend some time sitting on the porch in the rockers. Just like two old folks. Well, I guess to many people we are.

They would be wrong. I am busy most days of the week with volunteering, meeting friends, helping those in need and just cleaning house and yard. Neither one of us sits on our hands. If we did we would probably be stuck. It’s only keeping going that keeps us going.

strong people

Unless illness interferes, it is important to continue living an active life. Helping others is the best way to forget about your own issues and give back what you have learned. However, when I used to visit the sick and shut-ins I always reminded them that although limited in motion they could help by praying for others. There is always something we can do.

helping

The most satisfaction I have had in life is when I have been able to impact someone else’s life in a positive way. The joy and satisfaction I have gained is enormous. Always lend a hand, an ear, a hug, and a prayer where you can.

Use your experiences

by worrylessjourney, posted in commitment, community, compassion, connections, help, kindness, listen, love, understanding

I have learned much in my 78 years. Life has not ever been perfect and usually not at all what I expected but it has been full with everything from grief to joy. I am so grateful that I can look back and see the times I was tested and grew. I realize that my empathy for others and desire to help comes from those testing experiences.

fire for pottery

 

It is something that I have said often but here it is again. Don’t regret those times of trial.  It is in the fire that the pottery is formed. You have come out of the fire made more beautiful and more compassionate.

 

 

compassion quote

Remember that and use that experience to help others. I talked with someone today about how encouraging and full of empathy are the people whose blogs I read and those who read mine. We are a community.

 

Find Lucy

by worrylessjourney, posted in anxiety, compassion, dogs, emotions, fear, feelings, hope, sadness, safety, tears, unconditional love, worry

After the serious dry spell that we had now we have had rain every day. It doesn’t rain long but enough to help. I hope that it reached the farmers soon enough.

Today I had a call from one of my daughters telling me that my daughter in Texas has lost one of her dogs. She rescued two dachshunds a while back. Both had obviously been badly treated and were afraid of almost everyone. She and her family have been working hard to restore their trust and put their fears to rest. One of them would probably be considered to suffer from PTSD. The dog is on multiple meds for anxiety and panic attacks. While I was there visiting she eventually let me touch her but is still terrified of most things. Apparently last night little Lucy got out somehow. She is so fast. I’m not sure how it happened but my daughter is devastated.

lucy

Lucy will not come to anyone if called. She is chipped and has a collar with her name and address but I don’t know if anyone will be able to catch her. Poor thing she is now lost and away from any kindness she has ever been shown. They also live near what is called “green belt” an untouched area designated to allow water retention and wildlife. I know they are worried that if she is there it will be difficult to find her.

safe place3

 

This makes me so sad. I would be lost if I couldn’t find either of my dogs and Lucy is at risk in so many ways. Dogs become part of our families and touch our hearts in so many ways. Lucy found a safe place and I hope she is found and returned there.

Bravery and fear go together

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, appreciate, compassion, coping, fear, remember, viewpoint

 

Bravery comes from the things we fear. We are only brave when we face something that we fear. Being able to step forward into a situation that worries us means that we can put the fear aside. We learn how to do this from the struggles we have had in the past. Each thing that has gone wrong in our lives has been a learning experience. We moved past those experiences and survived.

brave

Nobody wants to go through difficulties in life but they do help us to grow. The growth gives us the coping skills to manage the next problem that confronts us.  We not only learn how to manage but it helps us to understand others who are going through the same things. We have more compassion.

Think about the things that have troubled you in life and how you got through them. They have made you stronger and more compassionate. Don’t dwell on them as negative things but appreciate them for the things you have learned.

The sadness of remembering – Memorial Day

by worrylessjourney, posted in appreciate, community, compassion, danger, freedom, friends, gratitude, memories, sadness, Uncategorized

fdr-memorial-day-quote-1525289591Today is Memorial Day. It is a day for thanksgiving for those who gave their lives that we might live free. This day is hard for me to write about since my husband was in the Army for 20 years. He spent two years in Viet Nam fighting a senseless war. He graduated from West Point in 1962 and felt obligated to serve in the war.  Wars run by politicians cannot be won. All the idiotic rules that governed what could and could not be done made it impossible. I could give many examples of this but it would not only take too long but also bring up too many bad memories.

My husband does not talk about the war except for a few incidents that had some humor attached to them. He fought in the battle of Dak To which was so badly run that many people died. He won’t talk about this.

We have been to the Viet Nam Memorial Wall but he will never go again. There are too many friend’s names on it.

the wall

I spent those years at home with our children worrying about him. There was little communication with loved ones during WWI, WWII, Korea, and Viet Nam. I even had to number my letters so that he knew if some were missing. His letters to me came in bunches. Communication is better now but it doesn’t take away the worry.

missing soldier

This is the fate of families today who wait for loved ones in danger. I grieve for both the soldier and the family. Many families don’t survive the separation. Please pray for those soldiers and their families.