Category: connections

What else can dogs do?

by worrylessjourney, posted in appreciate, celebrate, comfort, connections, coping, dogs, Uncategorized

Today I was out for a while and I returned home to find two happy, tail wagging dogs greeting me as I got out of the car. If only we were always greeted by someone who was so excited to see us our lives would be so much better.

tillie and crash
They look so innocent

The unconditional love given to us by our pets is an example to us. We certainly can learn from them. Recently I read a magazine about animals and there is evidence that dogs can also tell if someone is evil or has bad intentions toward us. We are learning more every day about what they are capable of. We already know that they can smell out cancer, calm those with PTSD, find drugs, and help those with disabilities. I wonder how much we will discover about them in the future.

Can we learn soon?

by worrylessjourney, posted in anxiety, connections, consequences, coping, danger, frustration, grief, mistakes, responsible, worry

In Iroquois society, leaders are encouraged to remember seven generations in the past and consider seven generations in the future when making decisions that affect the people. 
-Wilma Mankiller, the first female Chief of the Cherokee Nation

I have always admired the insight of Native Americans. Their wisdom seems to reach a depth not always found in our society. When I look around at what we have done to the earth it is apparent that we don’t look ahead at all. Too often it is all about money and/or power. Two things that are so transient.

World.in.our.hands (2)

To nurture the earth will allow human life to continue. If we don’t we don’t survive. I was talking with someone recently about “Mother Nature” and how she always seems to bite back. If we find an antibiotic to cure a disease it has the potential to change to something that we can’t fix. Eventually the earth itself will kill us off. Either as a direct result of what we have done or by what has evolved because of our hubris.

The Episcopal Prayer Book calls the earth: “this fragile earth, our island home.” The earth is fragile and I weep for what has been done.

I still have hope that people will wake up and change. In my experience we often wait until such a crisis occurs that there is no option but to change. I hope we don’t wait too long. Whatever is in our future I hope that we will learn, change and care for the earth. It is our only home.

 

Life has meaning

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aging, answers, commitment, compassion, connections, consequences, empathy, learn, love, moments, perspective

I read a blog today that was an interesting discussion. There was much back and forth about life and death. It was quite technical. At some point a meaningful life was mentioned and it seemed to me to most participants completely let that drop for more esoteric thoughts.

life meaning

I am totally concerned about life having meaning. At this time in my life I have no doubts that mine does. This may be hubris on my part but over the years I can see where something that I did or said changed something or someone. I have had people that I don’t even remember who they are come up and say that I changed their life. I can’t remember what I said or did but that doesn’t matter. Somehow, at the time, I was blessed with the right thing to say. Does this mean that I am special? No way. I was just a catalyst…a stop on the road.

For me, these are the things that make life meaningful. Was I able to help someone? Was I in the right place at the right time? Did the right things come to me out of the blue? Yes! It was not me. It was God, or a higher power, or coincidence. Whatever works for you. But this is what helps me to understand how our lives are meaningful.

sharing love

Loving, giving and sharing our stories and our pains helps others along the path. Because of this I can know that even when I messed up my life has had meaning. I plan to keep on loving and giving until the day I die.

We all see differently

by worrylessjourney, posted in appreciate, comfort, community, connections, emotions, empathy, feelings, healing, kindness, listening, understanding

One day, a while back, I was at the beach and in the bright sunlight I happened to look at something with only one eye open. I saw the color of the object clearly. For some reason I closed that eye and looked through the other one. The object’s color was a different hue. It could still be called the same color but there was a remarkable difference. That’s when it hit me that not only do we each see color differently but our eyes can see things differently.

different

None of us sees things in the same way. Each of us brings with us our lifetime of experiences. The things we have seen and been through have given us our own perspective. So how can I expect someone to grasp a problem in the same way that I do?

Years ago my husband and I went to marriage encounter. It is a wonderful program to enhance good marriages. We were taught a tool for getting closer to what someone else is feeling. It is hard to describe but is like bouncing back and forth “Does it feel like” until you find a common emotion to describe an event or issue.

For example I might say: does it feel like going to a friend’s funeral and the other person might respond no but it feels like your beloved dog died. I might then say I know what that feels like. It is frequently is a longer process but that is the idea. The whole things is based on discovering feelings.

I once knew someone who had great difficulty accepting a male image for God. I later found out she was abused by her father.

Getting to the root of someone’s feeling helps us to understand them. We can develop a bond with those who have suffered similar problems. That is why support groups work.

respect2

Here on Word Press we find support from others who really understand. The community is important. Thank you to all those who share feelings openly and offer support and understanding. You are important!

Have I?

by worrylessjourney, posted in aging, belief, change, commitment, connections, hope, responsible, try

Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best: “To leave the world a bit better, whether by healthy child, a garden patch, or redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you live—that is to have succeeded.”

That is my hope. I would like to think that somehow I have left the world better. That would bring meaning to my life.

letsmaketheworldbetterby-01.png

Have I done something to help someone?

Have I done something to make the earth cleaner?

Have I stood up or spoken out about abuse and injustice?

Have I showed kindness in the face of anger or hurt?

Have I helped the cause of injured or abused animals?

Have I listened when I should?

Have I followed my beliefs?

Have I showed love?

make a difference

 

And most important of all Have I done any of the above?

Happy Easter

by worrylessjourney, posted in appearance, connections, ideas, joy, Laugh

Tomorrow is Easter and our neighbors love to put out decorations. The decorations go on a concrete manatee that holds their mailbox. Each season he has special attire. manateeThe manatee looks absolutely adorable with his Easter regalia.

I will try to post the various outfits for each season.

Coincidence?

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, answers, appearance, belief, connections, intuition, moments, patterns, unbelievable

I don’t believe in coincidences. For me, it seems that the things that happen are meant to be. I guess I believe in Karma, fate, destiny and the arangels. If this seems naive then so be it. So many things have happened in my life that would be incredulous without this belief.

coincidence

I had retired from nursing and was just enjoying the time. One day I decided to read the newspaper. (I never do that!). Even more unbelievable I read the want ads. There was an add for a Parish Nurse. I had heard about this movement to join nursing with church life and had been very interested but never thought about actually doing it. The add asked for a reply to email which I did stating that I did not want a job but a ministry.

I was called and asked to interview. The job was part time, a two year grant to start and run a program and teach the idea across all denominations in my town. Good so far. I was then told that the pilot program would be hosted by a church where my Aunt was a member and where a “kissing cousin” worked part time as a visitation minister. I had been to that church often and in a town with many churches this was amazing.

quotes-about-coincidence

I took the job and after two years was hired by the church to continue. Twenty years later I retired.

Too many “coincidences” for me to swallow.

What do you think?

Nightmare and grief

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, connections, death, dreams, family, feelings, grief, guilt

Do you dream? Do you remember what you dream? I dream a lot and I often remember the dream…at least for a while. The bad part is that sometimes I have nightmares. I had one last night. Mine are not about monsters chasing me or falling off a building. I wish they were. I could deal with that better.

dream

My nightmares have to do with trying to help my mother and my aunt. (both deceased) The dreams are sad and frustrating. I struggle to solve whatever is going on with no success. It makes me wonder if this is some leftover guilt for something I regret not doing for them. I cared for them in their last days and was with each of them when they died.

Brian-Tracy-Quote-Never-Regret-You-Past

As a part of grieving we tend to guilt ourselves for being human. Of course I have regrets but my care for them was the what I was able to do. I did all that I could. Sometimes we just can’t let it go. I remember crying hysterically in the dream ….so frustrated that nothing I tried worked.

Now wide awake I have to understand that grief comes in waves when we least expect it. This time it surfaced in my nightmare years after both of them died. It is still there and will crop up again. Loss becomes a scar but sometimes the scar hurts. That is normal.

The change of aging

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aging, anxiety, connections, coping, emotions, friends, sadness, Uncategorized

I have been overwhelmed lately by my friends crises. When I think about the things that others are facing tears come to my eyes. If only we could fix whatever we wanted. Sadly, life is not that way.

As we get older we have to face the reality of others traveling with us are also aging. With age come health issues. We cannot live forever. I know this and yet it still hurts to see those we care about struggling. I tried to express some of this in this poem.

aging-is-not-lost-youth-but-a-new-stage-of-opportunity-and-strength-its-a-di-0d2b7866058da1dd7ec4aa7d4024fc53

 

Aging Change

Life doesn’t last

forever

we know

yet watching

as time

erodes

friendships

descent

into pain

how to

absorb

loss

loss of abilities

bring

aches

and yet

we

continue

to love

to grow

to love

until

the end

And beyond

Lots of love

by worrylessjourney, posted in celebrate, choices, commitment, connections, love, understanding

all kinds of loveAny man who thinks he can describe love understands nothing about it. from The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson

Love really can’t be explained. It has so many facets. Advertisements want us to see love as passion and sex. It sells things from perfume to Viagra. Passion is important. It keeps humanity going but it is a minute part of love. There is so much more.

I talked a little about this in an old blog. The Greeks had a totally different way to look at love and did a much better job of seeing it.

We need to experience the full range of love in our lives. Explore your life and find the different ones that you have experienced or are experiencing. Broaden your thinking beyond what advertising wants us to see.

eight kinds of love

1. “Eros” or Erotic Love

This is what most of us think of when love is mentioned. We have narrowed love down to sexual attraction. This love can be like a flame that burns down and dies. We have lost so much by doing this. I think we know other kinds of love are out there but we push them to the back.

2. “Philia” or Affectionate Love

This is our love for our friends. If we are blessed to have friends who love us and that we love in return we should rejoice. This love leads to caring about others.

3. “Storge” or Familiar Love

This is love of family. We can actually have this love for long term friends who have become family to us. It is similar to Philia

4. “Ludus” or Playful Love

This is like the early stages of Eros but with something added to the sexual attraction. This can be flirting or playful affection.

5. “Mania” or Obsessive Love

Mania is a dangerous kind of love. This is the abusive partner who bit by bit isolates the loved on from all others. This is obsessive love.

6. “Pragma” or Enduring Love

This is the love of a couple who have spent a lifetime together. Their love has componets of all the positive loves. It cherishes familiar love and Philia. It includes Eros. It is a deep and constant love.

7. “Philautia” or Self Love

The Greeks understood that we have to learn to love ourselves in order to love others. This love is important to ground us as persons.

8. “Agape” or Selfless Love

Most of us see this love as the ultimate love. The love that Christ had for us. It is when we can love the unlovable.