Mangled messages

I re-discovered an old book on my shelves and will occasionally share some of the quotes. The book is “Anguished English” by Richard Lederer. I hope that you enjoy these as much as I do.

“Let dead dogs sleep.” Image result for dead dogs humor

 

She was a diva of such immense talent that, after hearing her perform, there was seldom a dry seat in the house.

Image result for opera divas

Great dames for sale

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Image result for dog for sale funny

 

Three year old teacher wanted for pre-school. Experience preferred.

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And appropriate for the rush to buy hand sanitizer, toilet paper etc.

Image result for stock up and save limit one

Fun signs

I recently noticed a new message on the digital traffic sign near my home. It is a result of a social media competition launched in Georgia by the Georgia’s Department of Transportation. The idea is to get signs people will notice. The one near my house reads: “This is a sign you should buckle up.”  I love these and Georgia is already using them.

GDOT
GDOT

These are the winning entries:

General Safety:

  • First PlaceIF YOU MISS YOUR EXIT ITS OKAY, WE MADE MORE UP AHEAD
  • Second PlaceBETTER LATE THAN NEVER
  • Third Place (tie): DRIVE LIKE YOUR MOMMA IS WATCHIN’; YOU ARE ALLOWED TO USE TURN SIGNALS, WE CHECKED and DRIVE SAFELY OR WE CALL YOUR MOTHER

Distracted Driving:

  • First Place (tie): YOU LOOK GREAT BUT THE SELFIE CAN WAIT and LOOKING AT THE ROAD IS A GREAT WAY TO STAY ON IT
  • Second PlaceNO ONE WANTS TO SEE TRAFFIC ON SNAPCHAT, BRENDA 
  • Third PlacePOP QUIZ, WHAT IS THE SPEED LIMIT ON THIS ROAD?

Impaired Driving (many of the messages submitted were seasonal and can be used during the holidays):

  • First Place:DRIVING HALF LIT IS NOT VERY BRIGHT
  • Second PlaceDON’T SPEND THE NEW YEAR IN JAIL, PARTY RESPONSIBLY
  • Third Place (tie): DON’T BE A TURKEY AND DRIVE BASTED, and THE PARTY SHOULD BE LIT NOT YOU, BRING IN THE NEW YEAR SAFE

Seatbelt:

  • First Place (tie): THIS IS A SIGN YOU SHOULD BUCKLE UP and IF YOU DON’T WEAR A SEATBELT, PLEASE BE AN ORGAN DONOR
  • Second PlaceWEARING A SEATBELT MAKES YOU LOOK THINNER
  • Third Place (tie): HERE IS THE TEA SIS, WE CAN SEE YOU SO BUCKLE UP and SEATBELTS ARE IN, EVERYBODY IS WEARING THEM

Work Zone Safety:

  • First Place:LOOK LEFT, LOOK RIGHT, KEEP WORKERS IN SIGHT
  • Second PlaceWORK ZONE, SLOW DOWN, WORKERS HAVE FAMILIES THAT WANT THEM AROUND
  • Third Place (tie): WORK ZONES MATTER SO DO THE PEOPLE IN THEM, and AVOID DESTRUCTION MIND THE CONSTRUCTION

All Hallows Eve

I have occasionally taken photos of the wonderful mail box in my neighborhood that gets decorated for every holiday. This is the latest. I love the Manatee even when he “au natural” but it is really fun to see what is coming next. Hope everyone enjoys(ed) All Hallows Eve and a blessed All Saints Day!

 

trick or treat

Devils to angels

On Saturday we took our two Basset Hounds to do a home visit for a family wanting dogs from the rescue organization we got Crash from. The last step in the adoption process is a home visit from someone who volunteers to do this.

We decided to take our dogs to see how the family reacted. They have four children and it is good to see how the children do.

Our dogs are fine with strangers with one exception….they usually bark/howl at everything. If you have ever heard a Basset howl it is LOUD. We tend to call the sound AROO! Well we were in for the shock of our lives. Our two behaved like they were perfect dogs. No barking, loved the children, let everyone pet them….a shock! We thought we had taken the wrong dogs.

crash and tillie (2)

I remember when our children were little it was always interesting to see the monsters at home turn into angels. This is the same experience we had with the dogs. I wonder if our grown children talked to them?

It was a great visit and I hope the family loves the bonded pair of Bassets they have chosen. I am sure they will be approved. Our dogs are back home and behaving normally….that is barking at everything….AROO!

This is not our hound but wait for the howl!

 

Teen years

My son is now in his 50’s. I have been thinking about his growing up. Fortunately I was not aware of some of the things that he did as a teen. I am glad I didn’t know some of it until he was an adult.

He was always trying something out just to see how it would go. I found a dead snake in my laundry room obviously trying to get to some water. I did not know we had a snake in the house. I passed his hamster one night when walking down my hall. the hamster was headed the other way not to be found for quite a while.

bicycle

He was a frequent visitor at the orthopedics office. So often that they would call me to tell me he was there and could they treat him.

Testing how strong he was he lifted weights without a weight bench. When you lose the weight while lying on the floor elbows hit the floor at quite heavily. Several days later he asked me if I could look at his arm as it hurt. Imagine my surprise to find the arm actually bent. At the orthopedists office I explained that I had not let my son suffer on purpose but didn’t know about the arm. He lived with a cast for quite a while.

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It wasn’t until I was an adult that I was told about multiple boys riding bikes off the roof of our house into the swimming pool. I’m glad I didn’t know about that.

 

He survived into adulthood and was blessed with a son who followed in his footsteps. Life pays it forward.

Without a sense of humor I don’t think I would have lived as long as I have. When as many things fall apart as have around here recently laughing is the only option. It really reaches the ridiculous. Today the water went nuts and decided to gasp out of the faucets and produce brown water. Fortunately I have a husband who can see beyond the ridiculous and solve problems. So we are temporarily able to shower and have water to drink. Further solutions will come in time.

sense-of-humour

I think if asked what is the most important trait needed for survival and sanity I would have to say sense of humor.