Category: feelings

Poems, Prayers, and Promises

by worrylessjourney, posted in aging, appreciate, connections, emotions, feelings, memories, perspective, Uncategorized

This has been a quiet week. For those of us who plan so much quiet can be good. I actually had time to meditate. I also seem to have more energy for getting things done. This is good news since my house to-do list is growing exponentially.  I think all the Christmas things are put away and my house looks clean even if it only looks that way.

Christmas is always a drain on energy and money. I do my best to not overspend and this year I did well.  Since we are both retired and on a fixed income we do try to be careful.

I have spent some time thinking about the whole of my life and I can see that many blessings have come my way. There have been times of trial but overcoming them was a gift.

I was reminded of the John Denver song “Poems, prayers and promises.” It think it sums up what I have been feeling.

Here is the text and a link to it being sung.

Poems, Prayers and Promises
John Denver
I’ve been lately thinking
About my life’s time
All the things I’ve done
And how it’s been
And I can’t help believing
In my own mind
I know I’m gonna hate to see it end
I’ve seen a lot of sunshine
Slept out in the rain
Spent a night or two all on my own
I’ve known my lady’s pleasures
Had myself some friends
And spent a time or two in my own home
And I have to say it now
It’s been a good life all in all
It’s really fine
To have a chance to hang around
And lie there by the fire
And watch the evening tire
While all my friends and my old lady
Sit and pass the pipe around
And talk of poems and prayers and promises
And things that we believe in
How sweet it is to love someone
How right it is to care
How long it’s been since yesterday
And what about tomorrow
And what about our dreams
And all the memories we share
The days they pass so quickly now
Nights are seldom long
And time around me whispers when it’s cold
The changes somehow frighten me
Still I have to smile
It turns me on to think of growing old
For though my life’s been good to me
There’s still so much to do
So many things my mind has never known
I’d like to raise a family
I’d like to sail away
And dance across the mountains on the moon
I have to say it now
It’s been a good life all in all
It’s really fine
To have the chance to hang around
And lie there by the fire
And watch the evening tire
While all my friends and my old lady
Sit and pass the pipe around
And talk of poems and prayers and promises
And things that we believe in
How sweet it is to love someone
How right it is to care
How long it’s been since yesterday
What about tomorrow
What about our dreams
And all the memories we share

A Reflection

by worrylessjourney, posted in aging, appreciate, balance, contemplation, feelings, life changes, perspective, sadness, Uncategorized

Yesterday was a good day. We had lunch with out friend and dinner with my son and his family. Both of us won’t eat for several days. For some reason today I am sad. It may just be the let down from all the energy spent getting everything done.

reaction-adjust

It is strange that each Christmas seems to fall out differently. I miss a routine. I miss a Christmas I recognize. I know things will continue to change as we age but it would be nice to have a few more Christmas norms. I guess if my whole family lived here it wouldn’t be so hard but I don’t know many people who have their whole family in one place. My children had to go where the jobs were best and it was the right thing to do. We are blessed to have one here some people have no one.

I do miss the old Christmas. I wonder if we ought to pull a Kranks and just skip it but neither of us  wants to do that. We really do love it and want to celebrate with whoever we can whether it is family or friends or whoever. I do remember the real reason for the celebration and will continue to give thanks.

Life does have ups and downs. We spend our lives accumulating…people, family, things and then we spend our “golden years” divesting ourselves of things. The family decreases on one end as it grows on the other. Our parents are gone and other family members but we have gained children, grandchildren and not great grandchildren. We will be the next generation sliding out and new generations will come. It is the cycle of life but sometimes it is hard. I remember my grandmother saying that she was a girl trapped in an old body. It is easy to feel that way. Sometimes I look at things from ancient eyes and sometimes not.

horizon-learn-orlando-espinosa

This blog has ended up sounding depressing but reflecting on my life span and where I am in the scheme of things is part of acceptance. No matter the past my life continues to be full. I am living each day, continuing to learn and grow. I will do that until I slip into the twilight.

The light of home

by worrylessjourney, posted in advent, calm, darkness, emotions, feelings, home, hope, peace, safety

richmond-home-with-christmas-lightsIn the past my friend and I walked the neighborhood each winter. We loved seeing the houses lit for the holidays. All the sparkling lights were so festive. When you walk in the dark you can also see lit rooms in the houses we passed. People living their lives.

This morning our pastor talked about the dark and how the light of home beckons us. It made me think of the John Denver song “Back Home Again.”

“Back Home Again”

There’s a storm across the valley, clouds are rolling in
The afternoon is heavy on your shoulders
There’s a truck out on the four lane, a mile or more away
The whining of his wheels just makes it colder He’s an hour away from riding on your prayers up in the sky
And ten days on the road are barely gone
There’s a fire softly burning, supper’s on the stove
But it’s the light in your eyes that makes him warmHey, it’s good to be back home again
Sometimes this old farm feels like a long lost friend
Yes, and hey, it’s good to be back home again

The winter can be a difficult time for those of us who crave the light. However, it is a wonderful feeling to turn into the drive and see the lights of home welcoming us. We are pulled into that feeling of belonging and peace. The light from home does draw us in. It is the place we feel secure….the place where we can rest our souls. It is a warm place in the coldest dark. Even in the darkest time that light can brighten our feelings.

ALighttoLead

Through this winter darkness remember there is light and peace not only at home but also coming with the spring. The darkness fades and the light returns.

If you would like to hear this song:

Give thanks

by worrylessjourney, posted in appreciate, beauty, connections, family, feelings, friends, thankful

This is a day to stop and think of all the things we have in this life. There are so many basic things that we often forget to mention. I am grateful for life first of all….the ability to get up each morning is amazing no matter how the rest of the day goes. Just living where I can breathe the salt air is a joy. There is so much beauty in the earth around us. I am grateful for food and a home. I love my family and friends. No matter what up and down things life brings love has always raised me up.

gratitude-enough

May your day to be thankful help you to see the wonder of your life.

The marsh grass —a poem

by worrylessjourney, posted in beauty, change, dance, death, feelings, life changes, moments, patterns

The Marsh Grass

marsh grass

 

The water moves slowly

at first

tide changing

 

as if

trying to decide

which way to go

 

Then I see

the clusters

of marsh grass

 

loosened from their

home

begin to move

 

slowly at first

then faster

seeking the sea

 

finding

a new home

vast and free

 

drifting on

the crest of each wave

waving at

the sun

 

The dance

toward ending

begun

 

Woundedness a poem

by worrylessjourney, posted in anxiety, compassion, connections, emotions, empathy, feelings, healing, Loneliness, pain, share, understanding

When we are willing to share our woundedness it allows us to connect on a deep level with others.

wounded soul

This is a poem I wrote about that.

Wounded

 

Wounded

The pain is near

Close inside my soul

It holds my essence

The past that is me

 

It holds the secrets

Things not always shared

But given freely

To ease distress

The pain others fear to share

 

Pouring out over the torn

And bleeding hearts

Joining our souls

Connecting our depths

 

Healing

 

We are together

Melded by God

Drawn into

The place of suffering

 

The place chosen to connect

Suffering and pain

With others

With no restraint

Feeling the aloneness

Fear

Abandonment

Pain

 

Allowing others

To see

Ever after to pour over

Our emptiness

The oil of compassion

Healing

Savor good memories but live in the NOW

by worrylessjourney, posted in addiction, celebrate, choices, feelings, habits, Live!, memories, moments, perspective, remember

chipmunk-clipart-transparent-background-16We were without power again today. A squirrel committed suicide at the transformer. So sorry. I actually like squirrels although a lot of my neighbors don’t. I’m not sure why as they seem to cause few problems. We actually put food our for them as the trees here didn’t make their quota of nuts and the squirrels have been hungry and getting ready for fall. My dogs love to chase the squirrels but very, very rarely catch one. (thank goodness!)

This is the first day here that has felt like fall and although the days are shorter I am enjoying the cooler air. The air feels good. We live on the salt marsh and have an 8 ft tide. For most people who move here the smell of the marsh is not pleasant. Having been here most summers of my life and lived here for 42 years it is a joy to me. I love the smell. It reminds me of summers going to the beach. Good memories.

Fresh oranges on wooden background. Selective focus.

It is amazing how smells can trigger memories. My mother always wore the same perfume and when someone is wearing it I immediately think of her. Those kinds of things bring good memories.

There are also things that trigger bad memories. Recently a smell triggered memories of time spent in the hospital with severe bowel problems. Not a good memory. I immediately pushed that memory away.

I have found that it is possible to wallow in a good memory and accept all the pleasure that it brings. I have also worked on letting the bad memories slide in and out of my mind by mentally pushing them away. Usually it works. I focus on something else and drag my mind away.

live-in-the-present

Memories are part of our lives. It is part of what made us who we are but we don’t have to live in the bad ones. Living in the past can become addictive. We would be wise to enjoy the good memories and then move back into the NOW. Dwelling in the past can stop us from experiencing the present. NOW is what is important.

Everyone matters

by worrylessjourney, posted in change, compassion, connections, empathy, feelings, kindness, share, understanding

everyone mattersEveryone matters. It is so easy to dismiss people as not being worth our notice. I have frequently visited nursing homes with many patients in wheelchairs sitting the hall. I have noticed that most people pass them by without comment. It is as if they don’t exist. How terrible to be relegated to such a position. I have always made it a point to speak to each resident and smile. Most of them are so happy to have someone reach out to them and I receive lots of smiles in return.

I live in the South of the United States and there is a big difference just walking the streets of the town I live in. People routinely smile and speak as they pass on the street. The city has a large Art college with lots of students and it is easy to tell that some of them are startled when passers by speak. You can see them wondering whether to respond. I am not sure that this is routine in all southern cities but it is in many that I have visited. It is nice to acknowledge people and have them respond.

kindnessHowever many people do not speak to those who are obviously homeless. They choose to not acknowledge their existence. So even in a place where people routinely greet another person they still attach a stigma to those less fortunate. I do continue to speak to them and usually get a smile in return.

I can’t imagine what it must be like to feel as if you don’t exist. I know that has happened to many who suffer from mental illness. They certainly know what it feels like to be deliberately ignored.

I hope that we can learn to see each person as a human being deserving of being recognized. I wonder how thing would change if this were so.

Listening

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, compassion, connections, empathy, feelings, listen, understanding

people-dont-always-need-advice-sometimes-all-they-really-need-is-a-hand-to-hold-an-ear-to-listen-and-a-heart-to-understand-quote-1 (1)Understanding. A word that means so much. I think that each of us longs to be understood. I know that I do. Each of us is an individual. We have our own past, our own values, and our own lives. Many of us have issues with mental health. This makes it harder for people to “get it.”

The other problem is that most people (including us) don’t really listen. If we take the time to stop and really hear what someone is saying it makes all the difference. No one can be understood if they are not listened to.

working-on-listening-skills

Maybe that is why we do feel that we are heard on Word Press. If someone is reading what we have written no one is interrupting. When we are talking with someone that may not happen. Too often we spend time deciding what we will say next instead of hearing the other person. Maybe if we really listened then it will encourage someone else to really listen.

Talking is over rated. Listening is the key.

“If it weren’t for bad luck I’d have no luck at all.”

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, anxiety, belief, choices, consequences, coping, emotions, empathy, feelings, frustration, guilt

sad charlie brown

Do you ever feel as if life is out to get you? I have felt that way lately. Superstitions abound about this….things come in threes, if you have too much good then bad is coming. Sometimes it is a self fulfilling prophecy.  When a lot of things keep happening you start to feel vulnerable.  You are having lots of bad luck. It starts reminding me of an old country/western song that says “if it weren’t for bad luck I’d have no luck at all.”

Ever since this knee surgery process was begun it has felt that way. The big good is that the surgery was successful. It seems that everything else surrounding it has been complicated and stress causing. I feel like “chicken little” running around saying “the sky is falling.”

When Hurricane Michael hit the Florida coast I felt such empathy for the people devastated by it. We only got the outside fringes as it went up the middle of Georgia and other states. We had some wind and rain. Very few areas lost power. Unfortunately, two houses away from us there is a vacant lot and some very dangerous trees. One fell across the power lines and we were without power for about 18 hours. This is nothing compared to what others are going through but it just seemed that the bad luck genie was striking again.

I have been pretty free of IBS issues for a while but of course this kicked the whole thing up again. Some medicine has helped but made me tired and cranky. I just want this to stop. I seem to be complaining when lots of people are so worse off. It makes me feel guilty.

emotional reactionSometimes it is so hard to control our emotional reaction to events. They hit and our minds and bodies respond before we can slam on the brakes. I can see more work on my part tending my coping skills.

I hate a messy, dirty house but have not felt like cleaning and the mess just makes me feel worse. I need organization and I have to work hard on that right away. I can’t even call someone to give my house a one-time clean as I need to pick up first. It is really bad when what you need to do is clean before someone else can clean.

I know this will all resolve and I am ready for that. I will put on my big girl pants and get to work and I know things will be better. I know that bad luck is not the only kind I have. God will make sure of that.