Category: control

The change is us!

by worrylessjourney, posted in accountable, choices, connections, control, friends, life changes, plan

What is it like when the day begins with no plans? Every day the same. Nothing going on. The sameness creates ennui…nothing creates the desire to do nothing. We have to learn a new way to live.

That is how I was feeling when I got up this morning. Then the light bulb lit up. It is nice outside. Why not have my knit group meet on my porch where we can distance ourselves?

We can talk and knit and discover what has been going on with each other. I am sure we all have stories to tell. So I called them and that is what we are going to do tomorrow morning. We will meet, have lunch, learn the news from each other and feel like life is somewhat normal.

Just sitting in the boredom was definitely not the answer. It was time to do something about it. We just have to do it ourselves and in a safe way because this is how we have to continue. Life goes on.

The life of dogs

by worrylessjourney, posted in accountable, animals, complacency, control, dogs

Like most dogs our two have interesting personalities. They definitely have minds of their own. Our female “Tillie” has decided that it would be a good idea to take pieces of her dry dog food and place them carefully on the rug next to my bed. Stepping on them unawares is not how I want to start my day.

The culprit and the rug

Our male dog “Crash” likes to go into the bathroom and pull down the towels from the towel rack and just leave them on the floor. I don’t know why this is so amusing but I guess it satisfies something that he longs for.

The towel and the culprit

Crash sleeps at night on the sofa and if we don’t remove one of the pillows that is in his way we get very dirty looks. Tillie sleeps in the bed and must have her own blanket to cover all but her head.

I am sure that our dogs rule the house. Everything must be done to assure their comfort. After all who is more important? Don’t they look innocent?

More advanced, more complicated, more wrong.

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, consequences, control, coping, persistence, perspective, problems, wrong

There has been a gremlin in my house. I am sure of it. We now have TV remotes mixed up and they don’t seem to work totally anywhere. One will change channels and do volume, the other will turn on and off. We need two remotes for my husband to work his TV. My daughter sent a new remote for him and I can’t get it programmed. The instructions work but you have to search for the codes for the TV and the cable box and the numbers that may work reach out to infinity. If I had a week I’m sure I could get it programmed. So for now he is using two remotes.

Why do things have to be so complicated? My daughter say the more things they add to each electronic piece the more likely it is to go wrong. I’m finding that to be true. Somehow I have got to get something working. I contacted the cable company and they are not allowing anyone to come into the house at this time. Since there are many issue involved with this having someone here is the only way to solve it. Oh well….sighhhhhhhh.

Life is complicated enough without having to fight with electronic devices. I wonder what it will be like when robots do everything? I think I am glad that I will not be here to see it.

An important lesson

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, answers, anxiety, control, frustration, life changes, perspective, Uncategorized

Every day is different. Today was a better than good day. That’s the way life is. You never know what is coming next. It is the uncertainty that gets us.

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Not knowing answers to problems is the thing that is hard to take. I don’t think anyone likes it. When we can see the path in front of us life seems so much easier. We just want someone to turn the lights on the path so we can see ahead.

However, there are so many times in life when that is not possible. No matter what we always live without knowing what is ahead. The difference is we think that we do. We can see the day ahead with all its plans and we think that is what will happen. the truth is there are no guarantees. It’s funny how we perceive that we have control but really don’t. It is an important lesson learned when we realize that.

Some plans don’t work

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, consequences, control, coping, learn, mistakes, plan, Uncategorized

Yesterday was an interesting day. It was my husband’s 82nd birthday. I spent most of the day preparing his favorite meal. We were having our son and family and my best friend to sit in the yard and eat while social distancing. I worked all afternoon on the perfect meal and it was good.

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It was a good idea. At least that’s what I thought. My husband is hard of hearing and it is getting worse. He will need to get hearing aids and soon. Sitting far away from people made it almost impossible for him to hear any conversation and really the whole thing was too tiring for him. It was nice but I won’t plan anything like that again soon.

The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men
Gang aft agley, An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy! Robert Burns from To a Mouse

Things don’t always work out the way we thought but we have to make the best of it. It’s best not to dwell on it but to just move on to the next thing.

 

What will we learn?

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, accountable, answers, consequences, control, coping, important, knowledge, learn, share, strength, understanding

problemsI feel awful about not posting yesterday. I lost the day. The night before I had what I think was food poisoning. I was fine by morning but exhausted. I was feeling sorry for myself. Here without my husband and feeling miserable. Later that day one of my friends called and her sister’s husband caught the virus while traveling and died at 44 years old. His wife, working as a nurse, had damage from a tornado that struck their neighborhood. Her sister cannot have her husband transported home or have a glimpse of him. He died with none of his family around. There are so many people who have more crisis than anyone should have to bear. It certainly put my life into perspective.

Each of us has our own problems. Even though we can see catastrophic things happen to others the feelings we have are still valid. Our own problems bring forth emotions that we have to learn to deal with. We may not have things wrong that seem more devastating than others but our own tragedies are ours. We have to absorb the emotions. We have to deal with the issues. They are important. They are ours.

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As each of us move through the things that cause us grief and pain we will learn things that we can use to help others when this is all over. Our experiences will help us gain new insights, new skills,  and new ways to cope. We will have much to teach others. Lots to share with those who come after us.

This crisis is hard but we can learn from it and share what we have learned with generations that come.

Hunkering down

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, anxiety, consequences, control, coping, danger, decisions, health, medical, perspective, plan, safety, understanding, worry

Like most of us these days I am concerned about Corona Virus. You would have to have your head stuck in the sad to not be aware of the danger around us. Since my husband and I are in the vulnerable group we do have to be careful.

I think this is the first time in my life where I have felt anxious about being at risk. When we are young we think nothing can hurt us. As we grow older we can see the pit falls that could harm us but to some degree feel they happen to other people.

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The thought of being quarantined in the house for weeks is daunting. I am an extrovert and enjoy people. I will miss my interactions with others but I will manage. When I think about it I can feel my anxiety pulling at me and I am holding fast to my ways to avoid any problems. If one of us get the virus then I will be panicked so we will hold the fort at  home as much as possible.

I have written about this happening before so I am not surprised that it is happening. After the two other viruses (Mers and Sars) it was like waiting for the other shoe to drop. Thank God, although serious enough, it is not more serious than it is. I pray we don’t have another anytime soon.

I put off

by worrylessjourney, posted in accountable, anxiety, choices, consequences, control, coping, feelings, habits, plan, viewpoint

We procrastinate. I think we all do. We put off things. Those of us who have anxiety would rather suffer being anxious than tackle the thing that is causing the problem. We would rather obsess about it and keep putting it off. This make the anxiety blossom and nothing has gotten better.

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I am better at doing things than I used to be. Somewhere along the line I discovered that doing the thing I dreaded got it our of the way and then I felt better. Sometimes the list has to be scrapped until the next day. Sometimes I fall back into the trap of putting things off and then I suffer for it.

Image result for listsOne of the things that got me started was some advice a number of years ago. The person suggested making a list of the things that needed doing and then prioritize them. You may not get to the end of the list each day but you will be able to cross some things off. Seeing those cross outs makes you feel better. It also tackle the things that I obsess about first.

It doesn’t work for everything but is does help with some things.

 

Are we all becoming hoarders?

by worrylessjourney, posted in accountable, control, declutter, greed, habits, hoarding, mistakes, responsible

I have written about this before but today it jumped out at me again. We are a nation of hoarders. As a nation we have too much stuff. Near my neighborhood there are already two massive storage facilities for people to put their excess “junk” in. I have know people who put stuff in those places and later have no idea what they have stored. I know there are some people who have downsized and know they will be moving up again and need to keep their things but they are the exception.

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There is a TV program where people bid and buy unopened storage places and recycle for money what is inside.

Now a brand new huge facility is being erected. I guess there is so much “stuff” that we have outdistanced the two already here. What are we thinking?

I have spent the last six months sorting and cleaning out closets, cabinets and drawers and taking the excess to charity. I am still not done and am ashamed that I have so much extra that I don’t need. At least I have never needed a storage facility to house the excess. I know that someday we will have to move from our home (as age catches us) and my intention is to give away everything we don’t need for a smaller place. I will not keep and store things.

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Are we a hoarding nation?

Coping

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, anxiety, balance, choices, control, coping, depression, emotions, feelings, learn, problems

Life can be challenging. Sometimes things become overwhelming and we feel as if we are drowning. The feeling that one more thing will put you over the edge is awful. When that happens we have to use any tools we have in our tool box to bring us back from the edge. Many ideas have been brought up in the blogs on Word Press and I have tried many of them. Some work and some don’t. The good news is that we can try different things and see what works for us.

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My granddaughter says that every school should teach Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. She says that all children need to learn the skills that are taught in that program. I suspect  she is right. There are so many issues cropping up with children today that we have to change something.

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I feel that I was lucky to have learned many coping skills from my mother but I am not sure that many people have that advantage today. We are such a society of quick fix that we don’t learn to cope with anything. One of the doctors that I worked for said that what people want is to come to a drive-in window and have the doctor reach out and say “heal” and it will be done.

Coping is learned when faced with real life. If we think that nothing should ever go wrong we are much mistaken. I worry about people who have never faced up to a major problems as they have not learned how to cope.