Category: aggravations

Balance

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, anxiety, balance, calm, centering, change, consequences, control, coping, patterns, stress

This has been the calmest week (so far) that I have had in a long time. The peace is wonderful. I know that it won’t last but this time has refreshed me. I didn’t plan for calm but it just happened. Maybe because the week was so ordinary.

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I don’t know if chaos just comes naturally or I help it to appear. It is so easy to take on more than I can handle and end up depleted at the end of the week. I did travel in May and had company (family) in July so maybe this is the kick back time from that.

I know that this won’t continue since we will have our bathroom torn up in the near future. We don’t have a start date yet but I think it will be soon. Just having to move everything out of that bathroom and put it elsewhere will be a challenge. Maybe it will help me to clean out more cabinets and not put so much stuff back. That is the positive side.

change-aversion-conflicted-user-leadMost of us don’t like change. In this case change will be good but the process will be excruciating. We have another bath but it away from our closets. I have realized that I will have to sleep elsewhere unless I want to rise at O’dark thirty every day. No and no!

 

As a nurse I learned that there is stress related to good things. Think about the stress of a wedding or the birth of a baby. This is called “eustress” and can be energizing but it can be anxiety producing as well. It depends on how we use it. good changeI will have to work to maintain a regular schedule and life pattern so that I don’t slip off into anxiety. I have been better with the things I need to do lately so I plan to keep on. Wish me luck!

Neutral is hard

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aggravations, balance, consequences, control, emotions, family, misunderstanding, peace, perspective

How can things go so awry? How can life get so out of hand? In mediations I see the mistakes that people make. Sometimes they have to do with relationships. Sometimes they are about money. Sometimes it is a mixture of both.

business conflict resolution conceptThe hardest part about being a mediator is wanting to fix it and that is not allowed. It is part of the legal court system and we must remain neutral and not give any kind of advice. Once there was a case where the only thing dividing the two people was $10.00. It would have been simpler to give the person the money rather than try to get them to meet in the middle.

As of yet I have not been trained to do Domestic cases which deal with divorce and child custody. I can see the real emotional issues attached to that. I am not sure if I want to do that.

If you have a family with multiple children I think you have spent a great deal of time mediating.  I learned early on to let one person pick two brownies and the other choose first from the two. Much time was spent finding exact pieces. I have always loved this cartoon from a long time ago.

popcorn

Defeat anxiety

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, anxiety, consequences, coping, habits, think

Once again I am fighting frustration. I just can’t seem to get my health back on track. I know that it will happen but in the meantime it is such an aggravation. I hate the anxiety. It saps my energy and enjoyment. I found this quote and it is so true.

“Anxiety is a thick stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”     Arthur Somers Roche

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This is so true. When anxiety creeps in nothing else matters. Your mind disconnects from everything else. Absolutely not a good way to live. We miss so much. We have to learn to turn those thoughts off and return to real life. Sometimes distraction works— sometimes not.

Regardless it must and can be defeated if we work at it. To allow it to rule life is not acceptable.

No drama!

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, consequences, family, impatience, perspective, stress

1 dramaWhen you have many parts to your family it is seldom without drama. As I get older I try to stay as far away from it as I can. I don’t do drama well any more. I would rather not.
Sometimes I can let it slide right off of me.

There are people who love drama in their lives. They take the time to create it. They enjoy the attention. They want everyone to get involved and the more complicated the better. I like to stay away from people like that.

I think life creates enough drama on its own without any help. I like some excitement now and then. (different from drama) Otherwise I prefer my mostly peaceful existence. Just keeping myself and my husband well and moving each day is enough.

NO-DRAMA-LLAMA-1024x1024Stay away from those who deliberately create drama. They are selfish and want attention and can make your life miserable. And, by the way, they are not all women.

Courtesy? Morals?

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, choices, consequences, courtesy, ethical, frustration, kindness, morals, perspective

Today I have been thinking about how the world around me has changed. There is a caveat in that I live in the South (US) and mores are recognized more here. However, it is apparent that having seen, what I call, the “me first” generation there has been a drastic change in how people behave.

courtesy

The word “courtesy” has almost disappeared. Language has become coarse and  there is no place where it is not used. Words that were curse words had some power when they were used since they were used seldom. Today they have lost their impact as they are part of everyday conversation. I will have to think of some words to use when really upset like “prithee pox” and “egad.”

Considering others is on the back burner. Kindness is slipping away. I am also interested and amazed how sexuality has become a primary focus. I, for one, could care less about others sexuality. It is a part of life but do we have to consider it the most important thing about someone? There is so much more to a person than that.

Political Correctness has gone way overboard. If you and I don’t agree then anything I say makes me prejudiced and you are a “victim.” There are now more victims than people.

moral compass

In addition moral codes have changed to the point that there are none. Everything is decided individually and anything goes. Respect is a forgotten word.

Most of the people who I follow on Word Press are caring and concerned about others. Can’t we spread our concern and courtesy to others? Things are going downhill.

Let go!

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aggravations, choices, control, emotions, help, mistakes, perspective, understanding

letting go 2Sometimes we struggle and struggle to make something work and it just doesn’t. I never want anything to defeat me. When this happens I feel so unsuccessful. Failure jumps in and causes me to show my frustration with whatever I was working on. I hate giving up.

I just have to learn that in some cases I am not defeated. It is not giving up. That is so hard to see. There are some things that we don’t need to succeed at. It may not be the right thing for us in the first place. We can get caught in wanting to fix things that are not ours to fix. There are things that cannot be fixed. This is a difficult lesson to learn. We can continue struggling and get absolutely nowhere.

The prayer from AA talks about fixing the things we can, letting go of the things we can’t fix and most critical the wisdom to know the difference.

Working in the medical field shows you clearly that there are things you can’t fix. I can’t heal the child with brain cancer or stop an illness from progressing. I can’t go home and night and obsess about those things or I will not be able to help the things I can help.

Sometimes it is time to let go and move on to the next thing. We just have to learn when to do it.

 

A pause

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, balance, consequences, feelings, life, moments, sadness, think

I have been home too much lately. When this happens I lose my perspective.  Things start to close in on me and I spend too much time in my head.

Ennui

 

The house is quiet

life is in abeyance

lightening flashes

outside

 

And yet

I don’t see

the storm

coming

 

The storm

is outside

and inside

I am numb

 

 

Dinner? Really?

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, balance, choices, consequences, coping, frustration, perspective, true story

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This is one of the things I saved in a file to enjoy. I once belonged to a group who met once a month. In the beginning we each took turns being hostess and offered a light supper for everyone. Initially this was easy and worked for everyone.

Then the trouble began. One person decided to become a vegetarian. Ok, not a problem. That can be managed. Then another became vegan. That began to cause some serious planning regarding meals. Then whoops! someone declared that they were not eating anything with gluten. Meals became a puzzle to plan. Soon some began to declare allergies to certain foods. That was the end.

We then changed plans and ate out at a place that had many choices. Problem solved.

I have no problem with those who make choices about the foods they want to eat. Each of us has to decide what should go into our bodies but having friends for dinner when there are so many taboo’s becomes impossible. I guess in today’s world we would have to invite people to dinner and call it BYOM bring your own meal. I don’t know any other way to manage all of it!

Cherish those who matter

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, anxiety, balance, connections, consequences, coping, family, friends, frustration, life changes, perspective, understanding

Life, as usual, throws curve balls whenever it feels like it. My husband has been peaked for several day and now there has been another family crisis. Nothing health wise, thank God, but the usual drama. It is something that can be dealt with and will be but it has brought about some upheaval.

LifeHappens_HD

Maybe, because I am a nurse, if something bad happens but no one is going to die I am ok. Life constantly has ups and downs and we just have to learn how to cope with them. I have found that one of the things that helps the most is having a strong friend/family base behind you. If you have someone that you can count on to hold you up when you are sinking it makes all the difference.

For me, that is why my family and my friends are so important. I work at keeping those bonds strong and it does require work. If we don’t connect with those we love we are making a big mistake. Someone said “don’t let the path become overgrown between your houses.” That’s not totally accurate but close.

cherish loved ones

We do have to spend time maintaining our relationships. It doesn’t matter if they are face to face, on line, mail, whatever. People’s lives are busy and it is easy to get pulled away from those you don’t connect with.

Take the time to nurture the relationships that matter. They are your lifeline.