Category: you matter

Help where you can

by worrylessjourney, posted in blessings, community, compassion, connections, empathy, friends, giving, gratitude, help, kindness, share, you matter

I keep a quote book and was looking through it today and found one that I am sure must have been on someone’s blog but I just love it.

If you think you’re too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. The Dalai Lama

Not only is this very true but I love his sense of humor.

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Each of us lives a life of importance. Even though we are quarantined and distancing we are needed. It seems that there is not much that we can do to help but that is not true.

Yesterday I ordered groceries from the store and they were delivered by a family…father, mother, two young girls. There were driving a nice car….not expensive but good. Obviously the parents work and no longer have jobs. So many people have been laid off or the place they work is closed. This may be their only way to make money. At least when I order groceries delivered I can give them a generous tip since it all goes to them.

The restaurants near us that are supplying take-out food are having their wait staff deliver it. We can pick it up but the delivery helps someone who has no income at this time. I am spending so much less than usual I can surely space some for those in need.

help people

Admittedly it is small help but it is help. So many people are in dire straits and we have no idea of knowing how this will turn out. If you are one of the blessed and have an income, a place to live, food to eat and safety please do what you can to help those who don’t have anything.

We all are important

by worrylessjourney, posted in appreciate, connections, important, labels, mental health, perspective, valued, wisdom, you matter

unique

For those of us who struggle with mental health issues it is easy to look down on ourselves. We have the idea that we are not as good as others. Unfortunately, for some, this is what we have been told.

This is so far from the truth. Some of the most famous and inspirational people suffered things that would be categorized as a mental health issue today. Below is a list of some of these people and an estimate of their problem.

11 Historical Geniuses and Their Possible Mental Disorders
  • ABRAHAM LINCOLN // DEPRESSION. …
  • LUDWIG VON BEETHOVEN // BIPOLAR DISORDER. …
  • EDVARD MUNCH // PANIC ATTACKS. …
  • MICHELANGELO // AUTISM. …
  • CHARLES DICKENS // DEPRESSION. …
  • CHARLES DARWIN // AGORAPHOBIA. …
  • WINSTON CHURCHILL // BIPOLAR DISORDER. …
  • VASLAV NIJINSKY // SCHIZOPHRENIA.

We may not consider ourselves to fit into this list but it is obvious that we all have something to offer to the world. Never put yourself down. Know that you have gifts that are needed. Ignore those who want to put labels on you and just keep going.

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Speak up, share your experience!

by worrylessjourney, posted in aging, belief, consequences, decisions, Live!, perspective, responsible, speak, Uncategorized, words, you matter

Today another Word Press blogger wrote about the state of our country. This is a great article from https://earthwalkingworld.wordpress.com/2019/10/24/unworthy-america/

speak up

The article and some comments started me thinking about how we should live our later years. I am of the opinion that we should not sit down and let everything pass us by. We have much to give and we have to speak out. This country and the world need to hear our voices and see that there are other ways. This whole thought process reminded me of this poem. It is my mantra!

Dylan Thomas – 1914-1953

Do no go gentle into that good night

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Advocate for yourself

by worrylessjourney, posted in advice, choices, connections, control, feelings, needs, perspective, questioning, responsible, wisdom, you matter

If we are blessed we gain wisdom as we age. Sometimes those we encounter tap into that wisdom and are (hopefully) helped by it. I have been an extrovert my whole life and am always willing to share. (Sometimes both the person I share with and I wish it had never happened.) Wisdom is best imparted when asked for.

Consider-the-Source

I have talked often on this blog about how much it means for us to share our experiences with each other. Professionals are important but sometimes good advice comes from those whose experiences are similar to ours. All advice must be weighed against our own experiences and our insight into ourselves. Don’t ever be afraid to speak up for yourself when in the presence of “professionals” who may or may not really understand. You are allowed to ask questions and take some time to consider. You are your best advocate.

When working in pediatrics I listened carefully to the mothers who came to us. Sometimes others don’t listen carefully enough and may miss important clues that make a big difference. Doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists hear so much that sometimes they can leap to the wrong conclusions. Don’t let them rush. (especially doctors) Make sure you have the time you need. If that doesn’t work for them find someone else.

advocate

You are important. Your thoughts and feelings are important. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

No labels allowed

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aggravations, anxiety, fight, healing, labels, perspective, share, speak, understanding, unkindness, you matter

People often don’t want to admit to a mental illness because of the stigma attached. One of my physicians said “I don’t want to put down anxiety on your chart.” It made me think that until we are willing to take on that diagnosis the stigma will not stop.

“Don’t-be-ashamed-of-your-story.-It-will-inspire-others.” (1)

There are so many people with mental problems. There are so many who know they suffer with it but cannot reveal it. If we could accurately count the people who are out there I’m sure the numbers would be staggering.

Maybe some problems are longer lasting (maybe forever) and other are transient. I almost wonder if there is anyone who has not suffered in some way. I mentioned before that my daughter, when working as a psych nurse, was asked how you tell normal said: “Can you get up in the morning, eat, dress, work, sleep some and start over the next day? If you can you are normal.” All the trials and peculiarities of each life do not affect the ability to function. Yes, there are those who can’t and God willing, they can find help. The rest of us may feel that our life is erratic and up/down but still manage to get through most days.

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We continue to live and will not let our issues define us. Who, from the outside, can know what transpires in each person’s life? Who is arrogant enough to label anyone else? Only those who think they are “better than.” Their opinion does not define anyone at all. It only let’s us know the shallowness of their own psyche.

Never let other’s labels define you. Every person is valuable and important. Every person’s life has meaning. Show the world that everyone matters!

Unkindness

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, consequences, control, coping, emotions, sorrow, unkindness, you matter

This week I have heard two stories of people being deliberately unkind. In both instances it was totally uncalled for. It is amazing to me how mean ad hurtful some people can be. In one case the person hurt made no response. In the other the hurt was brought to the attention of the person with not a smidgen of remorse or acknowledgement that anything was said that hurt.

unkindness

How do we handle this kind of person? It totally depends on the situation. Unfortunately, in both of these cases there was no ability to dismiss the person and just stay away from them. The one person tried to deal with it and since it is a work situation will not be able to do anything until later.

The second one is dealing with family. Both of these people do not have the option to just walk away. That would certainly be the best choice.

Being unkind in return just exacerbates the situation. It is better to state your feelings in a calm and simple way and move on

kindness-in-ourselves-is-the-honey-that-blunts-the-sting-of-unkindness-in-another-3

At my age I seldom tolerate those who behave in this way. I will either stay away from them after voicing my thoughts….quietly but with conviction….or if family point out the hurt and hope that they see. Sometimes I choose to speak to spare a family member from being the one in the cross fire. As we get older it is easier to absorb the fall out.

We do not have to continue to be hurt over and over. People who are this unkind are usually unhappy themselves. Their behavior is often the result of being hurt in the past. However, we don’t have to put up with it. Sparing ourselves is important to our health and well-being.

Each of us matters!

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, appreciate, balance, death, perspective, you matter

Today is a much better day. Partly due to my mindset as I got up. Even having to go to a funeral was not a downer. Lutheran funerals are not depressing. Their theology is it is a celebration of the life lost and a trust in God’s promises. Usually lots of happy hymns are chosen…especially Easter ones.

parade-more-like-a-funeral-dirge.jpg

Today the funeral was at a funeral home and the organist was used to playing dirges. The first hymn, which could have been lively, was dragging. That’s the way it goes. It made me decide that if I can’t have someone who plays a joyful tempo I want guitars and drums. Guess I better pass that on to my kids.

Funerals can remind you of your own mortality. The truth is I don’t think any of us can imagine a world without us. We know death is inevitable but still can’t see not being present.

cant live forever

Most of us live in a world where death can feel as if it won’t touch us. Our medicine improves every day and life expectancy is so much longer. I was watching an Amazon series called “The London” which is about the hospital during the 1800’s. Life expectancy is 45. That is just half of what we expect today.

When I am ill and approaching death I just want to feel that I have lived. I want to be able to see my life as having had some meaning. Life doesn’t have to be grandiose for that to be the case. Have I helped others? Have I raised my family the best that I could? Have I been true to my core beliefs? Have I have worked the best that I could with what I have been given? This is really important. If I had a disability or struggled with mental illness or developed a long term illness did I do the best that I could? If I can answer yes I can be confident my life mattered.

Hey you YOU MATTER

Remember, none of us is perfect. We are only meant to do the best we can. Don’t concern yourself with your limitations just work with your strengths. That is what life is all about.