Category: anxiety

Keep sharing!

by worrylessjourney, posted in anxiety, belief, community, compassion, coping, healing, Loneliness, pain, perspective, share, understanding

why meI have long felt that that pain and sorrow have an important place in the scheme of things. They come to us unwanted and hard to accept. We wonder “what is the point?Why is this happening to me?” We feel lost and abandoned. Suffering is lonely. It removes us from our everyday world and causes us to live within ourselves and our pain. Nothing else matters. We can’t see past it. We can’t make plans. We just live in limbo.

The up side of all of this is not readily seen or understood but it is there. For those of us who share on Word Press it should be noticed more easily. I offer this short poem as an explanation.

The pain of aloness

not belonging

not accepted

 

The pain of sorrow

grief

anxiety

 

Is an instrument

carving out the soul

to hold and heal

Someone elses

pain

 

shareOur sharing on Word Press is an example of this. We share in the hope that our own struggles, journeys, ideas for healing…will help someone else. We share and find the belonging and acceptance that eludes us elsewhere and a life of meaning and importance.

Keep on sharing!

A roller coaster again?

by worrylessjourney, posted in anxiety, balance, coping, family, friends, memories, safety

Do you ever feel as if you are on a roller coaster? That’s what my life has felt like lately. I hate roller coasters. As a child I loved them and went with my father. I’m not sure when that changed but I will not ride them now. Especially all the crazy ones that have shown up lately.

oh no

Physically it seems as if I am up one day and down the next. At least I am not constantly down. For me, it is best when life feels settled. Right now settled is many moons away. Company will be here for the week-end. My grandson, his wife and another couple who are their friends. We live near the beach and I am sure we will not see much of them but I am glad they want to come.

The thing is…it’s hard having company here but also had to turn away the loved ones you want to see. It’s a conundrum. So they will be here and I am set to push all stress away and just enjoy.

We miss so many things in life if we are struggling with our own selves and can’t enjoy the wonderful things that we could be doing. When this happens it is time to “center down” ( I have used that before….a Quaker expression meaning lower your Chi) and plan time for yourself to step away for a moment and gather yourself together.

dont-miss-your-blessings-1

So until the week-end I have no stress related things planned. I will enjoy each day and be ready to enjoy the visit and not miss out on a wonderful moment.

These special moments in life are too important to miss. Family and friends are what matter and we can’t afford to shut ourselves away from that. It won’t come again.

It’s the little things

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, anxiety, balance, consequences, frustration, perspective, stress

little thingsThe last few weeks have been chock full of appointments, visits, company, and everything else. Something has become very clear to me. The big crises can wipe us out but it is the little things that really do us in.

While on the way to the Mayo clinic my cell phone decided life was too simple and just froze. It froze just as we needed information about directions to get off the freeway to get to Mayo. Nothing would entice it to come alive again. It just sat there with half of the screen with directions and the bottom half with mail? or something?? The directions we needed were on the bottom half of the screen. The phone would not shut off or do anything. We managed to limp our way to our destination. I plugged the phone in at our hotel and it decided that it was fine.

On the way home it moved some icons around and continued to tempt us to throw it out the window. I now have a new phone.

This should be good news but I have just spent two days re-connecting to everything I need to function.

Life at home has been hectic with a series of company (all who were wonderful) and we are not done yet.

Today my IBD decided that it had had enough too and joined the fun. At which point I headed for the medicine bottle.

last nerve
I have one nerve left and you are getting on it —————-Jane Seabrook

It is not one big crisis that makes life difficult to handle. It is a series of little irritating events. Events that rest on your last nerve and push you right on over into anxiety. None of these events in and of themselves was a big deal. It was the combination. Those of us who walk on the edge only need for the balance pole to lean over just a little too far and poof! we are done.

For the next few day I will concentrate on seeking consistency and regular routine and life will move on.

Just remember “it is the little things.”

 

(note to my company—you were wonderful and not the problem!)

We are “more than”

by worrylessjourney, posted in addiction, anxiety, change, control, coping, life changes, perspective, strength

first stepI have been thinking about the first step. The first step is the hardest one. Actually moving forward. Acknowledging that there is a reason to do something. The major part of this is accepting reality. We have to take an honest look and see the truth. People always talk about an alcoholic hitting bottom and realizing that there is a problem. AA works on the principle that the person states “I am an alcoholic.”  They have to accept reality.

Too often when we can see our own issues we also see ourselves as “less than.” Society has had a part in this. If we have any weakness we are not as complete as other people. For too long people who have addiction problems or mental health problems have been relegated to the fringes of society. It makes us very reluctant to expose ourselves to the rest of the world…with good reason. Medicine has taken a role in doing this. Many physicians still do not see addiction or mental illness as a disease. We are just weaker. We don’t try hard enough to fix it.

strength

The truth is that anyone who is willing to acknowledge their issues is the stronger person. Great strength is required to see ourselves clearly and take that step forward to make changes in our lives.

Don’t ever think of yourself as “less than.” The truth is we are all “more than.”

Can we know too much?

by worrylessjourney, posted in anxiety, belief, change, consequences, control, coping, medical

Information booth and what to do with it.Today there is so much that we can find out about ourselves. It has become popular to have you DNA done and discover you roots. (if the tests are accurate) You can be tested to see if you have the gene for breast cancer or find out if you are likely to get Alzheimers. Each day there is something new.

My father had kidney stones and you can inherit the tendency to be a “stone makes.’ This is someone who has stones from an early age. I inherited that. We can also check to see if we have genes for some diseases that might make us choose to not have children such as Cystic Fibrosis. I suspect that as time goes on we will face some moral dilemmas and have to make some uncomfortable decisions.

Hopefully we will not reach a point where the choice is taken out of our hands but it is not impossible.

I do wonder if I knew that there was a possibility I would pass on anxiety and depression what I would have decided. The thing is you wouldn’t know if descendants would have a mild problem or a serious one.

choice

I don’t think that any of us would want to pass on something negative to our children and grandchildren. Sometimes too much knowledge is a dangerous thing.

Where has the family gone?

by worrylessjourney, posted in anxiety, balance, children, consequences, danger, family, habits, home, mistakes, patterns, suicide, violence

My oldest daughter called this morning on her way to work. She works at a major Children’s Hospital as a nurse case manager. She see some of the most critical and heart wrenching cases. In the past she worked at another unit that was an adolescent med-psych unit so she has experience with psych.

suicide

Today she was distressed that a short while ago her bosses son overdosed and died. They don’t know if it was suicide or an accident. Then she learned that a friend’s child committed suicide. This morning she was distressed that she is seeing so many cases of young adults and teens in crisis. Like the rest of us she has no idea why this is happening but is terrible concerned about the culture that is creating mental distress in the young.

It seems that both of these cases were a total surprise and not the result of known mental health issues. Of course she realizes that the problem could have been there unrecognized but in these two cases it seems not.

Recently several blogs that I read have talked about the current TV series 13 Reasons. The blogs have been very negative about the value of this program and its influence. I have not watched it….I watched a brief piece and the premise turned me off so I quit. The blogs seem to feel that this show has a bad influence on young people and the blogs were written by people close to the age.

good family

There are so many problems with the structure of the family today that it is easy for me to see why children are stressed. In some cases the children run the family and the adults take second place. When this happens children don’t feel safe. There is no strong adult influence. Parents must be parents.

In other cases the family is so busy with outside activities that there is no family time. They don’t eat together or take time to talk and share. Children need structure and down time with their family to feel connected.

Like my daughter I am equally concerned about the pattern we are seeing in children and young adults. I pray that some change will come about that re-centers the family group and gives children security and grounding.

Raising children to become anxious and prone to violence and suicide is a plague upon our society.

I am NOT tense

by worrylessjourney, posted in aging, anxiety, change, coping, Laughter, medical, understanding

I am not tenseI love this picture done by Jane Seabrook. Her book called Furry Logic is wonderful. All the drawings and captions make me laugh. I have this one in a calendar and it is permanently on my cork-board. It is how I feel a lot of the time. This is such a better way to put it.

A lot of the time I do feel terribly alert. At this time in my life health issues crop up and they can take the stuffing right out of you. I don’t want to say that I am anxious but that is what happens. This photo reminds me that there are different ways to explain things.

For most of my life being subject to anxiety was not acceptable. I was good at denying it. I was good at managing to get medication from doctors to tide me over until the episode passed. I was good at seeming to be fine. Life went on and I managed. Thank God I was able to.

Things are better now. They are not perfect but they are better. Physicians are beginning to have more understanding of mental illness. I remember one physician, knowing that I had anxiety, told me that he was going to put down a different diagnosis so that I wouldn’t be tagged with that diagnosis! Shows you how it was understood. I know there is a long way to go and we are not there yet but I do have hope.

Hope_596x.progressive

I keep hoping that the new brain chemical studies will enlighten the medical community and the rest of the world. There is hope everyone will have it easier in the future.

Touch heals

by worrylessjourney, posted in anxiety, balance, compassion, connections, coping, Jesus, music, pain, peace, touch

There has been a lot of research about touch and how healing it can be. Over the years, while visiting people at home and in the hospital, I have always used touch to draw closer. I truly believe that touch can be therapeutic if used with intent to heal. Recent studies have shown that just holding the hand of a loved one can reduce pain.

healing touch

When visiting a member of the congregation in the hospital I found her in pain. Unfortunately, he pain medicine was not due for some time and she was very uncomfortable. She responded well to my touch and using both touch, a soothing voice, and a meditative talk (like a mantra….”just rest, just rest..close your eyes and just rest) over and over she relaxed into a calm and peaceful state and was able to wait for her next dose of medicine.

I don’t know how many times I used this technique on my children and never thought about it but with my job as parish nurse it was very helpful. Having someone focus your thoughts soothes us and along with gentle touch can bring us to a state of calm.

The problem is it is hard to do this for yourself. I have done it on occasion when I found myself in a situation when I was about to lose either my temper or my mind. Just stepping back, breathing and focusing my mind….I sometimes repeat “be calm, be calm”…does help me get past that moment. I had a Tai Chi instructor who said when faced with her kids waiting in an airport she had to keep saying “lower your chi” over and over.

Sometimes when I am alone I like to sing a piece of Taize music. These pieces from the Taize community in France are soothing chants that can calm your mind and soothe your soul. If you have never heard these look it up.

This link will take you to one of my favorites on YouTube.

Fight anxiety!

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, answers, anxiety, balance, change, control, coping, depression, fight, worry

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained. –———Arthur Somers Roche

Unfortunately this is very true. When anxiety raises its ugly head everything else just disappears. Notice that the quote says “if encouraged.” Yes, we can encourage it by giving in to it.

anxiety person

When it comes I am unable to focus on anything…can’t read, can’t move, can’t find comfort. It is a terrible feeling. What even makes it worse is that the fear of more anxiety adds to the anxiety.

Life is worth living. Anxiety can take the feeling that I am living away. It is like falling down a deep hole with no bottom. You just keep falling thinking all the while about hitting bottom.

This is no way to live. We have to find ways to push anxiety aside and move into the world. It is so much easier to give up but then what is there? No matter how hard it is working to move away from anxiety and depression is critical.

help for anxiety

I have learned over the years that literally moving  my body helps. Getting up, getting dressed, combing my hair and making myself ready to go out makes a difference. Even if the anxiety goes with me I am better. If it is not possible to be with people then walking outdoors is a good choice. If there are friends who understand then seek their company. For me, friends help.

Bible verses

 

Whatever we do we must not give up. This can be worked through and a life worth living can be discovered. Don’t ever give up!

What am I going to be?

by worrylessjourney, posted in answers, anxiety, change, coping, expectations, hope, life changes, perspective, questioning, stress, worry

congratulations-graduation-fortune-cookies

On Friday evening my grandson graduated from high school. He has been successful in school and is a wonderful boy. He works hard and puts himself into the things he does. Next fall he will be going to college and like most 18 year-olds he has no idea what he wants to do with his life. It worries him.

Some people are blessed by finding a passion early in life and driving forward to fulfill that dream. Most young people are not that lucky. The world is a big place and there are so many things that we can do. So many choices. In the past people were just looking for a job to feed their family and were grateful for anything. It is just as hard to get a job but many kids feel that they are a failure if they don’t do something that seems wonderful or exciting.

Most of us spend our lives just doing a job. In today’s world it is not unusual for someone to switch fields over their lifetime. People used to work for one company for most of their lives. Today they may work for many companies. Things are not the way they used to be and with technology moving so fast what you start out to do may change quickly and you may have to learn new things. Today we have to learn to be more flexible and that makes life stressful and more challenging.

future

 

Don’t be afraid that you don’t know what you want to do. Your choice could change over night. The job itself could change over night. Don’t be afraid. You have a lifetime.