Muddling through

Today was a different day. I dropped off one of my dogs early this am to have her teeth cleaned and a cyst removed from her back. I expected to pick her up about four this afternoon. It is now 7:15 and I am still waiting to get her. They had emergencies and didn’t do her stuff until 6 pm. Not what I had planned. Now I will have a dog just out of surgery and not herself to care for tonight. I love her and that is ok but this didn’t work out well. Hopefully things will work better later. New vets….just have to learn if this is the one for my pups.

Yesterday I got to visit the place that I hope to move to. Once there I will never have to move again. After all, at 80, I’ll be blessed to get to 100 with all my faculties. There is so much there. The place is connected to thee University of Texas at Austin and professors come to teach classes. Residents have set up many activities for themselves and they travel and enjoy life. I hope to never stop learning so this sounds perfect for me.

I will also be glad when we can all get back to church. I know that following all that has happened and may still be a problem life will be different but I hope that we will be able to be with other people more than we can now. (wow…long sentence…maybe needs editing)

Where do I fit?

In reading comments from others tonight I realized that in addition to giving up my home and many “things” this change has caused me to move away from being the “matriarch.” It was always my home that some of my children came to during Christmas time. It was my table where we ate and I considered it my job to be sure that everyone had a good Christmas.

loss of role/identity

Now I seem to be in a new world. One where my role has changed and I am not sure how I feel. I miss so many things besides the obvious. I miss my volunteer work, my caring for others who I could help, my place in my local community. All of this is gone. In many ways I have lost myself.

I know that this will change and that covid has made this a problem that it would not normally be. In another time I would have been able to get out and meet people. Find places to help and volunteer and covid ahs taken that away.

This is something to ponder on and find ways to plan for something new.

Ever heard about FUD?

Today I was talking with my daughter and she mentioned a term that is used in business a lot to describe what competitors do. The term is FUD an acronym for Fear, Uncertainty , and Doubt. I realized how true that phrase is and how often it is used

It is certainly the way of life for the press. If they can spread FUD on a subject then they will get everyone’s attention. In today’s world it may be the only thing we hear both from the news and from politicians running for office. I don’t think that I have heard one positive ad for anyone….have you?

The Black Live Matter issue uses FUD also. In fact some proponents of that movement use it physically with violence. If enough people are afraid maybe it will work.

Today I was watching a British crime drama called Endeavour. Something was said that immediately caught my attention and I was quick to write it down and add it to my quote book. It does relate somewhat to all of this.

“Cruelty is like cancer. It starts with one cell and grows until the whole body is riddled with it.”

The cancer is growing egged on by FUD. What are we learning today?

Violence is good? Fear is good? Hatred toward others is good?

Compassion, love, kindness are bad? Acceptance, understanding and respect toward others is OK for some and not others?

It reminds me of a quote from Benjamin Franklin. “All men are created equal but some are more equal than others.”

What are we to do?

Medical practise has gone horribly wrong

Has anyone noticed lately how difficult it is to get a diagnosis. My husband went through months of illness before someone was able to find what was acutally wrong. I have run into so many people who are having the same problem.

Is it because we no longer have any doctor who really knows us? It does seem that could be part of the problem. No one seems to really listen. My husband complained about his knee for months but no one ever checked it until it was found more or less by accident.

I really think we need to seek out a primary physician that we can keep long enough to understand our life and our family. Very hard to find any more in this era of switching insurance, both us and our changing health environment.

When we were at the Mayo Clinic the first physician was an “attending” (head and teacher) in the ER. He mentioned that one of the hardest things to teach new docs was to see the whole person not just the piece that brought them in. He certainly was a special doctor and so right.

I have written a lot about the medical system mostly because it has gone so horribly wrong.