Category: anger

Oh when will we ever learn?

by worrylessjourney, posted in anger, hopelessness, sorrow

With so many crisis to think about it is hard to put together cohesive thoughts. Between the various shootings and the war in the Ukraine the world seems so chaotic. Sometimes it is so hard to not be angry at those who want more and more power….that includes Putin and also those in power in this country who are so blinded by ambition that they can’t see the state we are in. We are the only country with so many massacres. Yes, let’s stop calling them shootings and call them what they are …massacres.

On this day when we choose to honor those who gave their lives for this country can’t we show respect to them by tightening gun laws and stop at least some of the violence. My husband loved this country. He would have given his life for it and almost did in Viet Nam. Yet then and now we send soldiers to fight wars that can’t be won because politics make that impossible. We arm youngsters and fanatics easily with weapons and even body armor so they can kill more people. Logic has been totally lost in both situations.

For some reason I was reminded of this song. “Oh when will they (we) ever learn.” This version by Peter, Paul and Mary brings the full sorrow. Even the audience feels it.

Ever heard about FUD?

by worrylessjourney, posted in abuse, aggravations, anger, confusion, consequences

Today I was talking with my daughter and she mentioned a term that is used in business a lot to describe what competitors do. The term is FUD an acronym for Fear, Uncertainty , and Doubt. I realized how true that phrase is and how often it is used

It is certainly the way of life for the press. If they can spread FUD on a subject then they will get everyone’s attention. In today’s world it may be the only thing we hear both from the news and from politicians running for office. I don’t think that I have heard one positive ad for anyone….have you?

The Black Live Matter issue uses FUD also. In fact some proponents of that movement use it physically with violence. If enough people are afraid maybe it will work.

Today I was watching a British crime drama called Endeavour. Something was said that immediately caught my attention and I was quick to write it down and add it to my quote book. It does relate somewhat to all of this.

“Cruelty is like cancer. It starts with one cell and grows until the whole body is riddled with it.”

The cancer is growing egged on by FUD. What are we learning today?

Violence is good? Fear is good? Hatred toward others is good?

Compassion, love, kindness are bad? Acceptance, understanding and respect toward others is OK for some and not others?

It reminds me of a quote from Benjamin Franklin. “All men are created equal but some are more equal than others.”

What are we to do?

Grief for the hatred

by worrylessjourney, posted in abuse, accountable, anger, grief, hatred

I am almost struck dumb by hearing about another incident with a black man. The first one was in a place I have been many times and had no idea what was under the surface. We suffer from blindness that must go away. Why is the hatred so strong? Have we not changed at all? I grew up with a father who lived out that everyone was created equal. He never tolerated looking down on anyone. He was much loved by all who knew him.

The daughter of one of my best friends (the friend sadly is no longer with us) is married to a Lakota Sioux. I have seen through her eyes and that of her family the same kind of selective justice that their people have suffered. It continues.

The Massacre at Wounded Knee

When will we being to see people as human beings….no different than us. Is it going to take DNA testing everyone to prove that in today’s world odds are we all have DNA in common?The world has become very small. Is it going to take invasion by aliens to make us see our commonality instead of our differences?

Surely this virus has made us see it is no respecter of persons. Everyone race, creed or color is at risk. Can we not move past the hatred? I grieve for those hurt recently and those hurt in the past. Not just here in our nation but in the whole world. We can’t seem to learn.

Lifestyle and health

by worrylessjourney, posted in accountable, anger, anxiety, connections, consequences, frustration, habits, health, learn, life changes, medical, mental health, Uncategorized

As I was out walking today I thought about how many of our illnesses are caused by our lifestyle. Heart disease, some cancers, COPD, and many others are directly linked to how we live.

Image result for lifestyle and illness

I was reminded of a friend of mine who smoked. Each year she stopped smoking for Lent and then started back up after Easter. What a crazy thing to do.

Image result for healthy lifestyle and mental healthSome problems arise because of our mental health. Anger can be linked to stroke and high blood pressure. Anxiety and depression can lead to suicide. I don’t think we cause those problems ourselves but they may be, and frequently are, linked to our childhood. Our parents were responsible for how we were treated as children. In some cases this was good and in others not. It can be a major struggle to overcome childhood trauma and it does affect lifestyle which in turn affects health.

More and more we are learning about the link to our lifestyle and our health issues. I hope that we are able to make better decisions for ourselves as we learn and especially for our children. Maybe the more we learn the healthier we will be.

Memories and emotions

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aggravations, anger, answers, change, choices, connections, consequences, decisions, emotions, family, feelings, habits, life changes, memories, misunderstanding, the past, understanding

Where families are involved life can treacherous. Sometimes the most innocent remark can be twisted into a major conflict. I suspect this is because there is history and much emotion involved. Often the negative reaction has nothing to do with what is going on at the moment. It is rooted somewhere in the past where the emotions are stuck.

feelings-of-mind-connected-to-heart-original-imaew2m8hpyzhrcu (1)

I have never forgotten that our emotions are tied to so many things. A piece of music from our past can have us experiencing the emotions we felt at the time. These past connections can emerge at the worst moments and skew our perception of the current experience.

Many of us have been taken straight back to our past feelings by a song, a scent, a person, or a scene. We don’t realize what is happening and our responses are not appropriate to the moment. This is doubly true for those we spent a lot of time with growing up. We are creations of our environment as well as our genes.

family breakup

It takes real strength to look inside and connect with the past so that we can disconnect ourselves from it. Most of us don’t want to relive the negative things that formed out emotional responses. It make take talking with a counselor to root out those emotions and at least understand them. Hopefully doing so will allow us to reconnect with those we have turned away from. Maybe not. Some we may not want to but there can be some that can heal connections that will change our hearts.

An “I” society

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, anger, choices, courtesy, little things, problems, responsible, selfish

Today my husband and I took our weekly trip to the grocery store. When we came back out and unloaded out groceries then (as usual) I went to take the cart to the “return carts” place. On the way to do that I found three more carts in the middle of parking places that people had not bothered to return.

Selfish-1024x740

Since this was no where near the handicapped area these were obviously people who were well able to return the carts. The total time that it took me to return all of the carts was less that one minute.

It is laziness? Are they too busy? Too important? Too uncaring? I mean really how long does it take to put the cart where it belongs. In addition to the cart not put away those carts blocked three parking places that could have been used.

We are really becoming a lazy, uncaring society. Yes, the carts would have been corralled by the staff of the store but in the meantime they are a nuisance to other shoppers and take extra time for the employees to retrieve.

It is not that this is wildly important but it is a symptom of a bigger problem. We have created a society of people who don’t care about anyone but themselves. I wish I knew how to fix this.

So much anger

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, anger, anxiety, change, consequences, control, danger, divided world, frustration, opinion, sadness, stress, unkindness

My husband mentioned recently that he doesn’t remember people being so angry at each other when we were younger. I agree with him. I meet so many people who are angry for no reason. Today I was crossing the road from Staples to my car and there was a gentleman down from me doing the same thing. A car came up to him and honked loudly several times. He was trying to hurry but had a limp and I think was moving as fast as he could. The lady pulled in next to my car and got out. Her shirt said: “Remember be kind.” I was so tempted to say something to her but I didn’t. She needed to read her own shirt!

so much anger

It is so easy to see the anger in road rage, shootings, anger in our government, and just about everywhere. What has happened? Have changes in the ways we communicate (electronically) allowed us to not be kind face to face? The treatment of each other has deteriorated drastically.

I hope that we can discover the cause of all the anger and learn new ways to get along. If not, life will continue to be scary.

enthusiasm

Hatred again!

by worrylessjourney, posted in anger, anxiety, consequences, divided world, hatred

Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.  Unknown

poison

I don’t remember where I got this quote. I just put it in my quote book. It may have comes from another blogger if so I ask forgiveness but it is just perfect.

With what has happened recently in Christ Church, New Zealand hatred has reared its ugly head. Again we have an example of how hatred destroys lives. There is so much ado when the Muslim extremists carry out a terrorist attack and it is hard to understand why the other side doesn’t see it as the same thing when they do it. Admittedly their anger did destroy others but it also will destroy them. Anger held inside will kill. Not only will it cause problems on an emotional level but it will kill due to physical changes.

I love the song from South Pacific that talks about how this gets passed down.

You’ve got to be taught
To hate and fear,
You’ve got to be taught
From year to year,
It’s got to be drummed
In your dear little ear
You’ve got to be carefully taught.

You’ve got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made,
And people whose skin is a diff’rent shade,
You’ve got to be carefully taught

When will begin to understand that the world is growing smaller and smaller and we are more alike as human beings than we are different?

When will we be able to turn away from hatred and anger?

Turn your back on anger

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, anger, calm, consequences, perspective, Uncategorized

Have you had somebody or something make you angry recently. There are some things that can really get me going. Rude people come to mind first. Some people are so angry themselves that they seem to want to rub it off on you. They appear to be angry at everything. The anger just seeps out of them.

That is a sad way to be. I used to get angry more than I do now. That may be because I was in situations where it was easy to get mad about something. Now that I am retired and can just stay away from things that bother me I am much better off.

Frequently anger masks some deeper emotion. If something hurts us we often respond in anger. It masks the hurt and allows us to hide it. Showing the hurt makes us vulnerable.  People who go around angry all the time usually have a lifetime of hurt behind them and their current behavior sets them up for more hurt.

There may be times when anger helps us to get past a bad situation but holding on to anger does nothing but hurt us. Our anger may not even affect the person or situation that caused it. The person it hurts is us.

Think about how you feel when you are angry. Your heart rate increases. Your blood pressure rises. You can feel your body gearing up to fight. This decreases your immunity, takes oxygen and moves it where it will be needed for quick response. All these responses can cause lasting problems. Just writing about it can cause me to feel some of those reactions.

It is not worth it to hold onto anger. Maybe the best response is to not show anger. My father used to say when someone pushes your buttons the thing that will cause them the most angst is to not respond in the same way. They will be frustrated by your lack of response. It is more aggravating to them than anything else can be. You not only save yourself from the results of anger and one of two things will happen… Your “turning the other cheek” will either calm the situation or escalate their anger. Either way you come out ahead.

A group dictatorship?

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, anger, anxiety, change, complacency, frustration, stress

This may not be a very popular thing to say but recently I have realized that we live in a dictatorship. It is no longer what it set out to be. When the people who govern the nation, even though elected, make laws that do not apply to them, raise their own salaries, have their own healthcare and retire with all the benefits they have been living under while in office then it is not a democracy or a democratic republic. It is a dictatorship by a group.

Dictatorship in this instance refers to an autocratic form of absolute rule by leadership unrestricted by laws, constitutions, or other social and political factors within the state. (I found this on the web with no attribution, sounds similar to what is happening.)

This is certainly not what the founders envisioned. They thought that representatives of the people would serve for a while and return home to their lives. There was no intention that they would live out their lives in government.

change now

Too bad it didn’t work out that way. The congress and senate have the reigns in their hands and there is no safeguard in the constitution to revoke the process. It doesn’t seem to be an issue for the Supreme Court, our third safeguard, but maybe it could be in some way. I am not a government expert but I have asked some who are if there is any way that the people can demand a national amendment by themselves. They have told me no. If this is so then the only recourse is revolution which none of us want.

I don’t see any way to dis-empower those running the show. And really, would you vote to take all these things away from yourself? The fox is definitely guarding the hen house.

The nation is so divided at this point I doubt that any consensus could be found and most people are too complacent to do anything. Somehow no matter party or any affiliation we must make some majors changes. This is an issue for us all.

We can no longer see ourselves as a “democratic republic” but an Empowered Group Dictatorship. What do we do now?