Category: unkindness

Some people just don’t care

by worrylessjourney, posted in accountable, aggravations, courtesy, unkindness

Today I am starting to feel like a real person. I am getting good sleep, eating right and getting important things done. I didn’t realize how exhausted I was.

Going out to the grocery store and running needed errands I have realized how many people are going around without masks. I am assuming that they just don’t care about the people around them. It is just so tempting to have something to say about their lack of caring but so far I haven’t found the perfect comment to make. Anyone have any ideas? Thank you for exposing me to a possibly fatal illness? is the only thing that comes to mind. I hate wearing a mask but I wear it. Others need to also. It is respectful of those who are immuno-compromised. I have a friend who has a 9 year old with cancer. Getting the virus would probably kill him. Don’t people realize what can happen?

Like most people I don’t want to be exposed to the virus. I don’t want to be sick due to someone else’s uncaring. If only they could understand that we are all in this together.

Pariahs

by worrylessjourney, posted in aging, appearance, community, consequences, coping, decisions, kindness, unkindness

Yesterday I had the oddest thought. As people begin going out as they want, many without wearing masks, it will be us elderly and the sick who will stand out. We will become the stigmatized group. We will stand out like a sore thumb. I doubt that we will be able to feel the slightest bit safe until there is a vaccine and that will be quite a while coming.

There will be a point where we have to continue to live our lives and know that there is a risk. That has been true for those in war torn countries forever. Going out of the door in the morning does not guarantee that they will be safe. It’s just that we have never suffered that experience since the long past flu epidemic.

Shunned

So if you see us out with our masks until next year and see us obsessively washing our hands and safe distancing from people please don’t see us as lepers. We are just trying to survive.

Courtesy

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, courtesy, habits, kindness, little things, selfish, unkindness

Today we went to the grocery story. It still amazes me how many people do not put the carts away. These are not people parked in the handicapped places but others. There are many cart return places and no one has to walk far to take a cart back.

Image result for put the grocery carts away

This is just one of many small things that we can do to make things better for everyone. Possibly these are the same people who throw trash out of their car windows, leave trash on the beach and are unconcerned about who has to clean it all up.

Consideration is the name of the game. Nothing huge but small things that make life better. When you think of how long most of these small things take it is minute. I can see the worker coming out of the grocery store and looking around in disbelief as all the carts are in their proper place.

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Remember small courtesies make a BIG difference.

So much anger

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, anger, anxiety, change, consequences, control, danger, divided world, frustration, opinion, sadness, stress, unkindness

My husband mentioned recently that he doesn’t remember people being so angry at each other when we were younger. I agree with him. I meet so many people who are angry for no reason. Today I was crossing the road from Staples to my car and there was a gentleman down from me doing the same thing. A car came up to him and honked loudly several times. He was trying to hurry but had a limp and I think was moving as fast as he could. The lady pulled in next to my car and got out. Her shirt said: “Remember be kind.” I was so tempted to say something to her but I didn’t. She needed to read her own shirt!

so much anger

It is so easy to see the anger in road rage, shootings, anger in our government, and just about everywhere. What has happened? Have changes in the ways we communicate (electronically) allowed us to not be kind face to face? The treatment of each other has deteriorated drastically.

I hope that we can discover the cause of all the anger and learn new ways to get along. If not, life will continue to be scary.

enthusiasm

Kindness?

by worrylessjourney, posted in appreciate, choices, connections, feelings, kindness, perspective, responsible, understanding, unkindness

detectiveI love reading the stories about the “No 1 Ladies Detective Agency” by Alexander McCall Smith. Not only are the stories wonderful but there is enormous wisdom contained in each one. He writes about a time, in Botswana, when the “old ways” were being eroded by new ideas. The wisdom of the old culture is being replaced by less caring and courtesy….less connection with your “brothers and sisters.”

The loss of that kind of culture has been left behind a long time ago in my world. I am sure it is the result of many changes…..people leaving the land and moving to cities, not knowing your neighbors, having no relatives close by….etc. etc. It is unfortunate that this has happened. Things were not perfect in the past but I do think the world around me was more courteous.

common-courtesy

My daughter spent time in Japan as an exchange student. She became aware of the courtesy of the people and their respect for others. Their world is also not perfect but I think living so close together has created an environment of an awareness of personal space and respect for others feelings. I hope that it is not eroding there also.

Courtesy is a gesture of kindness to others. Saying please and thank you are not outdated. Respecting others feelings shows caring. I see so many acts that express an attitude of thinking only of oneself. Cars drive in our neighborhood with radios blaring so loudly it surely damages the ears of the driver. People step ahead of you in line and glare at you when you seem surprised.

It has become quite common for cell phones to ring in places that are not appropriate. People answer their phones while eating with others ignoring those they are with.

Singa_the_Courtesy_LionI know I am seeing things from a different perspective but courtesy improves our environment. As the population grows we will be living even closer together. Will we end up hating each other for our attitudes or will we finally learn how much kindness matters?

 

No labels allowed

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aggravations, anxiety, fight, healing, labels, perspective, share, speak, understanding, unkindness, you matter

People often don’t want to admit to a mental illness because of the stigma attached. One of my physicians said “I don’t want to put down anxiety on your chart.” It made me think that until we are willing to take on that diagnosis the stigma will not stop.

“Don’t-be-ashamed-of-your-story.-It-will-inspire-others.” (1)

There are so many people with mental problems. There are so many who know they suffer with it but cannot reveal it. If we could accurately count the people who are out there I’m sure the numbers would be staggering.

Maybe some problems are longer lasting (maybe forever) and other are transient. I almost wonder if there is anyone who has not suffered in some way. I mentioned before that my daughter, when working as a psych nurse, was asked how you tell normal said: “Can you get up in the morning, eat, dress, work, sleep some and start over the next day? If you can you are normal.” All the trials and peculiarities of each life do not affect the ability to function. Yes, there are those who can’t and God willing, they can find help. The rest of us may feel that our life is erratic and up/down but still manage to get through most days.

Quotes-for-Mental-Health-1-683x1024

We continue to live and will not let our issues define us. Who, from the outside, can know what transpires in each person’s life? Who is arrogant enough to label anyone else? Only those who think they are “better than.” Their opinion does not define anyone at all. It only let’s us know the shallowness of their own psyche.

Never let other’s labels define you. Every person is valuable and important. Every person’s life has meaning. Show the world that everyone matters!

Unkindness

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, consequences, control, coping, emotions, sorrow, unkindness, you matter

This week I have heard two stories of people being deliberately unkind. In both instances it was totally uncalled for. It is amazing to me how mean ad hurtful some people can be. In one case the person hurt made no response. In the other the hurt was brought to the attention of the person with not a smidgen of remorse or acknowledgement that anything was said that hurt.

unkindness

How do we handle this kind of person? It totally depends on the situation. Unfortunately, in both of these cases there was no ability to dismiss the person and just stay away from them. The one person tried to deal with it and since it is a work situation will not be able to do anything until later.

The second one is dealing with family. Both of these people do not have the option to just walk away. That would certainly be the best choice.

Being unkind in return just exacerbates the situation. It is better to state your feelings in a calm and simple way and move on

kindness-in-ourselves-is-the-honey-that-blunts-the-sting-of-unkindness-in-another-3

At my age I seldom tolerate those who behave in this way. I will either stay away from them after voicing my thoughts….quietly but with conviction….or if family point out the hurt and hope that they see. Sometimes I choose to speak to spare a family member from being the one in the cross fire. As we get older it is easier to absorb the fall out.

We do not have to continue to be hurt over and over. People who are this unkind are usually unhappy themselves. Their behavior is often the result of being hurt in the past. However, we don’t have to put up with it. Sparing ourselves is important to our health and well-being.