Category: Uncategorized

Sometimes there are things that you can do nothing about. It’s hard when those are the things that are causing stress. It’s that thing about wanting to fix it. It’s the aggravation about not being able to do anything.

It is very difficult to let go and stop the stress from elevating into anxiety and then depression. We being to obsess about outcomes that have no place in reality. We cross multiple bridges and convince ourselves that we are just preparing for what happens.

There are people who can just put it aside and await the outcome. They don’t seem to worry but wait calmly for the moment when things become clear and they can take action. My husband is one of these people. He wonders at the thoughts and plans that I can make before knowing anything about what can actually be done. He does what is necessary at the moment and then waits for the time when decisions can be made.

I have struggled my whole life to be like that. I was hoping that it was something that could be learned. In my case it doesn’t seem likely.

It is possible to learn coping skills to reduce the obsessing before it overwhelms us. Those skills must be kept up. We can’t expect to use them if they don’t become habits. Trying to meditate for calm will only work if it is a routine already established. As we learn these coping mechanisms we need to work on them constantly so that they are ready when we need them. That is the hard part. We have to be consistent to make something a habit. It is so easy to let it go. “I can just do that tomorrow” doesn’t work.

So many ideas are presented by others that can help. We have to try them and use the ones that work for us. There is help out there. We are not alone.

Sometimes

This weekend has been hectic. We had the baptism (at my home) of my great-grandson Karter. It was all very last minute and crazy to arrange. Fortunately we made it This is something I wanted to see but doing it has been another challenge. I’m not going to go into all the chaos surrounding it.

Those of who go to some churches baptize babies and then they do confirmation at a later age when they can affirm what it means to them. Someone once asked a minister friend how we could baptize babies… that they didn’t understand and his response was “do you?’

I found this response to be so profound. No matter when we are baptized I doubt that we get the full enormity of it. We may never get it fully.

Each denomination or faith has it’s own rituals and beliefs. That is so important. We should not make judgments about people based on their belief system.  We all do too much judging. I have family members who have vastly different ideas and who occasionally view them and affront others. It is so annoying to me. I have my own views but I have no desire to throw them out in order to get a rise out of others. I guess I just want harmony especially when it is a special family event.

It is so easy to hurt other’s and usually not necessary. Most of us have suffered hurts of our own and know how bad it feels. Our concern for others can be an example even if those around us never get it. Eventually, water wears away stone.