Make coping habits

Sometimes there are things that you can do nothing about. It’s hard when those are the things that are causing stress. It’s that thing about wanting to fix it. It’s the aggravation about not being able to do anything.

obsess-1It is very difficult to let go and stop the stress from elevating into anxiety and then depression. We being to obsess about outcomes that have no place in reality. We cross multiple bridges and convince ourselves that we are just preparing for what happens.

There are people who can just put it aside and await the outcome. They don’t seem to worry but wait calmly for the moment when things become clear and they can take action. My husband is one of these people. He wonders at the thoughts and plans that I can make before knowing anything about what can actually be done. He does what is necessary at the moment and then waits for the time when decisions can be made.

I have struggled my whole life to be like that. I was hoping that it was something that could be learned. In my case it doesn’t seem likely.

good-habits-300x225It is possible to learn coping skills to reduce the obsessing before it overwhelms us. Those skills must be kept up. We can’t expect to use them if they don’t become habits. Trying to meditate for calm will only work if it is a routine already established. As we learn these coping mechanisms we need to work on them constantly so that they are ready when we need them. That is the hard part. We have to be consistent to make something a habit. It is so easy to let it go. “I can just do that tomorrow” doesn’t work.

So many ideas are presented by others that can help. We have to try them and use the ones that work for us. There is help out there. We are not alone.