The end of another year…the beginning of a new one. What will come to us? There is no way of knowing. The best we can do is hope for the best. There is truly no way to plan but we can make sure that our attitude is positive. May each of you have a blessed new year!
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No comparisons!
“Comparisons are odious.” Madeleine L’Engle
We spend a lot of time comparing ourselves to others. And yet, I am not someone else….I am me. I can’t expect to be exactly like another. I can’t expect another to be like me. We are each unique. It is important for us to realize this and not make comparisons. Comparisons can make me feel less than. That is not a good feeling. We each have to learn to accept ourselves and only work on becoming the best ME I can be.
This poem about comparisons was written a while ago.
The Rose
I wonder if the rose
compares itself to all other roses
and thus negates its beauty
by comparison
I suppose the rose
would find this idea silly
and wonder why anything
would want to do this
I would imagine
that the rose
simply delights in its own
uniqueness
and never worries about
comparisons.
©Suzanne Boyd 1997
Just thoughts
Today I cleaned my office. Until today it has been impossible to even walk through it. Literally! I should have taken a photo that I could post. This room was used for storing and wrapping gifts and it got completely out of hand. It is so nice to look around and not see chaos.
Life has been reasonable this week and I am glad. Things seem so much more normal. (if there is such a thing) Sometimes settling into routine can be boring but at the moment a little boring is good.
Several bloggers have posted how difficult the season has been for them and I hope that things will get better for them. I have had my ups and downs but right now feels better. I will wallow in it for as long as it lasts.
We are heading into 2019 and I can remember wondering if I would still be around this far into the 21st century. That may seem strange to most of you but if you were born in the first half of the 20th century it is not strange at all. I can remember reading 1984 and thinking it was so far in the future. I remember all the predictions of the strides in gadgets for the future and I want to know why I don’t have a flying car! I was promised one and I am disappointed.
I don’t think anyone foresaw the leaps in communication. If i heard anything about the impact of the internet (before it appeared) I don’t remember it. When I think that my grandmother was born in the 19th century it is hard to believe all the changes.
I hope that as we head into a new year that younger people (than me) will make communicating over distances a way to bring us closer together without losing the importance of being able to physically touch someone. We are social beings who need touch. It is critical to our well being. Without it we can end up with attachment disorders that can make our life and the lives of those around us horrible. Humans need bonding. We can’t let that get away from us!
I know this kind of relationship is difficult for some and that might be attributed to their upbringing. I hope that in the new year you may each find your comfort zone with another person and be able to get a hug when you need one.
The light is returning
At last! Christmas is over for another year. I love it but it is also good to be done with the busyness. It is also good to have the days spent at the Mayo Clinic done and hopefully only one more visit before he is finished. As a nurse I have been so impressed with the patient centered care and the organization of everything there. Appointments of any kind are on time. When in the hospital you can order your own meals at any time, within certain hours, and the food is delicious. It is medicine as ideal as possible.
Now I feel that I can move into my “new normal” doing court mediations and supporting my friends who are struggling. Unlike many people with anxiety and depression I don’t do well staying home all the time. I have to get out and be with people. I still need my down time but somewhere there is a happy medium.
I slipped on my routine during this time and I know I have to maintain it or else. Tomorrow will be day one of routine maintenance. Back to morning quiet, meditation and writing. It is so easy to slip from routine and so easy to not go back to it. I thrive on routine and hate missing it. That may be part of the getting old (I really don’t consider myself old) thing… getting stuck in my own ways but it sure feels good.
I hope that everyone survived the holiday and will continue to do so through New Year’s. This season is so hard for many people and I wish everyone peace and joy. Remember…the light is coming.
A Reflection
Yesterday was a good day. We had lunch with out friend and dinner with my son and his family. Both of us won’t eat for several days. For some reason today I am sad. It may just be the let down from all the energy spent getting everything done.
It is strange that each Christmas seems to fall out differently. I miss a routine. I miss a Christmas I recognize. I know things will continue to change as we age but it would be nice to have a few more Christmas norms. I guess if my whole family lived here it wouldn’t be so hard but I don’t know many people who have their whole family in one place. My children had to go where the jobs were best and it was the right thing to do. We are blessed to have one here some people have no one.
I do miss the old Christmas. I wonder if we ought to pull a Kranks and just skip it but neither of us wants to do that. We really do love it and want to celebrate with whoever we can whether it is family or friends or whoever. I do remember the real reason for the celebration and will continue to give thanks.
Life does have ups and downs. We spend our lives accumulating…people, family, things and then we spend our “golden years” divesting ourselves of things. The family decreases on one end as it grows on the other. Our parents are gone and other family members but we have gained children, grandchildren and not great grandchildren. We will be the next generation sliding out and new generations will come. It is the cycle of life but sometimes it is hard. I remember my grandmother saying that she was a girl trapped in an old body. It is easy to feel that way. Sometimes I look at things from ancient eyes and sometimes not.
This blog has ended up sounding depressing but reflecting on my life span and where I am in the scheme of things is part of acceptance. No matter the past my life continues to be full. I am living each day, continuing to learn and grow. I will do that until I slip into the twilight.
The Coming
Tonight I just want to share a poem I wrote a while ago.
The Coming
The night was dark and cold
or so I’m told
when God became a man
The stars were bright and clear
seeming so near
when shepherds strode the land
The angels sang for him
a special hymn
praising God’s name
and in a manger bare
with creatures there
sweet Jesus came
The night again is cold
though time grew old
since he was here
his spirit lingers on
in my soul dawns
his presence near
for in my heart I find
Christmas reminds
me he’s not apart
but here to be with me
as long as I can see
him in my heart
Let Joy Abound!
The winter solstice is past. Darkness will be gradually fading and the light will win. Christmas is upon us. The things that we haven’t done will not be done. It’s time to take a deep breath and relax. I hope that most of us will not be too exhausted to enjoy the day. It can be a day of joy or a day of frustration and challenges. I hope that the latter will not be true for you. I hope that each of you will share a day of love and peace. See the beauty that Christmas brings…the smiles on the faces of children, the magic of twinkling lights, and the smells of favorite foods. Have a happy and Holy Christmas!
Why?
Often we wonder if all the trails and pains of life have any purpose. A number of years ago I wrote this poem expressing that I can see a reason.
Why?
The pain of aloneness
not belonging
not accepted
Is an instrument
carving out the soul
making a space
to hold and heal
someone else’s pain
©Suzanne Boyd 2018
See what happens
This has been a difficult week and it’s not over. My husband is working on a house we need to sell as our age makes it difficult to care for it ourselves. We have been doing repairs on this rental house for years and it is time to stop. Unfortunately, we didn’t plan well and now we are trying to get work done so it can be sold. Nothing like adding this on in the midst of going to the Mayo Clinic, getting ready for Christmas and life in general. Our friend who loaned us the RV has never used it and we don’t know how to work the many devices that we have to use to work things. She has no idea either. I guess we will take it to an RV place tomorrow and hope they can help. I feel as is everything is frustrating. I find myself flying off the handle at every little thing.
I know that we can manage to work everything out but right now it seems too hard. I must find time to stop and take a deep breath…calm down and just let things come as they will. I will sign off for tonight and go meditate.
The joy of giving
Taking care of others, helping others, ultimately is the way to discover your own joy and to have a happy life. —Dalai Lama
Christmas is about giving. It is not about trying to give the most expensive gift. It is about giving the things that warm the heart. We have become so conscious of labels. Is that from Marc Jacobs or Coach? We even have many things with the labels on the outside so we can flaunt how expensive something is. When I was growing up we wouldn’t have been caught dead wearing a label on the outside of something. It is amazing how things have changed.
This kind of thinking makes us feel stingy if we don’t or can’t give something expensive. Some of the best things I have been given were of little or no cost. I have a small angel sitting by my sink. It holds my rings when I take them off. My mother gave this to me and I remember her when I use it. I doubt it cost more than $1.00. It was in my stocking one Christmas. A forever gift.
The gift of time is one of the most amazing gifts we can give… visiting a friend who is sick, transporting someone who just needs a ride. These are gifts that bring joy to others and to us.
We have lost the pleasure of giving something hand made. We can’t seem to grasp that the hours taken to make a gift are also a gift of time. When I knit or crochet a gift I think about that person while making it. Love is put into each stitch. It brings me joy to do this and I hope that it brings love to the person receiving it.
Those who feed the homeless or collect items for them are giving a gift of themselves along with the food and clothing. These gifts bring joy to all.
This season remember the joy of giving. The cost matters not. It is the love in the gift.
worry-less-journey 