Author: worrylessjourney

Fly your freak flag day!

by worrylessjourney, posted in change, fun!, Laughter, Live!

Today I decided to have fun and read things that make me happy. I pulled out “Falling Up” by Shel Silverstein. I just love laughing over the poems and the drawings. I have always loved this poem. noise day pictures

Every one of us deserves one of these days. A day when we can let all frustrations out. A day to fly our freak flag and just let go. How much emotion we have bottled up that we haven’t let loose.

I really think that we should all try it.

A day to yell, scream, break something, play music full blast, blow the horn endlessly in the car, jump on the bed, splash water out of the tub, bark with the dogs, run in the yard in your pj’s, throw the paper you have shredded all over the living room floor, roll down a hill like a log, hit a pillow until the feathers fly, jump in a mud puddle!!!

I am sure you can think of some things you would like to do. I feel freer just thinking about it.

A joyful, crazy, exotic day. Let’s do it!

Today’s relationships

by worrylessjourney, posted in balance, connections, family, life changes, marriage, unconditional love, understanding

My grandson is getting married this month. He and his fiance have actually been together since high school. Now both of the them are gainfully employed and have just bought a house. This event has made me think about relationships in the 21st century.

relationshipSo much has changed since I was their age. So many people live together rather than marry. I don’t know if it has to do with being unwilling to make a long term commitment or just not wanting to go through the legal issues. If there are no children involved I don’t feel as if it matters one way or another. Also, so many marriages end in divorce. Something has changed in how relationships are viewed. Does everyone think that relationships should be excitement and  passion forever? That’s not to say that some marriages have that forever but usually not all the time. Marriage is about growing into a deeper relationship. At least mine has been and I am grateful for that. There seems to be the attitude today that people begin thinking “if this doesn’t work we’ll just end it.” Starting that way puts an “if” in it from the get go.

It concerns me that the real losers today are children. Children seem to do best when parents are in a long term relationship with an eye to building something lasting. The focus on children is also part of the picture as it seems the children have become the primary people in the family. We have forgotten that a marriage needs work and time spent enriching it. Parents should be the focus. When this happens the children win. The children should be loved and cared for but not the focus of everything.

parentsI hope to write something similar to this to give to my grandson and his fiance. I plan to make my thoughts clearer in the hopes that they will start off with wide open eyes about living together “until death do us part.” The good and the bad happen but God willing your love will last.

The Bible: true and/or truth?

by worrylessjourney, posted in anxiety, perspective, questioning, understanding, wisdom

person-questioningLately I have encountered some people who have asked is the Bible true? They have been struggling with portions they have read that they can’t accept or understand. I don’t know anyone who reads the Bible deeply who doesn’t struggle with some parts.

There are lots of reasons why this happens. Part of it has to do with perspective. I see two perspectives that I encounter the most. Those who read literally. That is to say those who see every word as factual and historically true.

Then there are those who see it from the perspective of seeing some parts as historical fact, some parts as metaphorical and some parts that combine history and metaphor. I fall into this category.

The writings of the Bible were written in a different age. To understand as best as we can we have to understand the historical setting. We have to explore the culture of the time and how language was used then and has changed. We must look at when the various parts were written and the best conclusion about who wrote each part. This is a lot to know and we are still accepting the writings of the scholars who have studied all of this.

truthReading the Bible is a challenge and a blessing. We are delving into something that is full of stories, poetry, drama and much more. How we understand what we read is also affected by our own background and knowledge base. Each of us will find different meaning because we are all different. However, the Bible is full of wisdom and truth. There is a difference between true and truth. True is what we can see, smell, hear, touch, and feel. Truth is deeper than that. It is something that resonates in our soul. Truth is abundant in the Bible. Is it true? I think the better question is “is there truth in it?

Do you see what happens?

by worrylessjourney, posted in aging, anxiety, compassion, coping, kindness, Ogden Nash, understanding

Old Age. What scares you about growing old?

I have several friends who are going through really tough times. As we age there are some things that you don’t expect. We all picture growing old gracefully and walking off into the sunset together. It’s sad, but for most of us this is not the case. Many things can happen that change your world. They sneak up on us and suddenly you are in a foreign country trying to learn to speak the language and find your way through a maze.

I think one of the hardest things is when one person is well and the other is not. When I was young I never thought what it would be like to have to care for someone. What it would be like to be on call 24/7. Never to be able to go out for a meal or visit with friends.

Caregiving is one of the most stressful tasks on this earth.  What if you are afraid to leave home because your spouse may fall while you are gone? What if the dependence of that person on you grows obsessive and you have to account for any moment away? What if every time you walk away to another room you are called again and again to come back. The person  you love has turned into a demanding attention seeker. They have not done this deliberately but fear inhabits them and being alone triggers terrible anxiety. They did not choose this path. It was foisted upon them. Age happened.

supportWhen we are young we never see the anguish that can be aging. We can see all of this as a burden for us and turn away. Yet simple things can make a difference. Volunteering to visit for an hour or two while the caregiver gets out. Making a double recipe for dinner for your family and sharing it. Even words of understanding and encouragement can help.

While we are young we need to show compassion for those whose life is in crisis. In order to do that we first have to notice. The elderly can so often be ignored.

I have long been fond of this poem by Ogden Nash. It shows us how we are blind to those who are aged.

People expect old men to die, 
They do not really mourn old men. 
Old men are different. People look 
At them with eyes that wonder when… 
People watch with unshocked eyes; 
But the old men know when an old man dies. 

Ogden Nash

We create idols

by worrylessjourney, posted in addiction, appearance, control, fear, God, guilt, habits, idols, misunderstanding

Romans 8:7 New International Version

7 The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so.

Today I was reading another blog on this passage and it brought some things to mind. When we read passages about the “flesh” we tend to think in terms of sex. This passage is way broader than that. Paying attention to our flesh is to think of ourselves first. It is to put ourselves in the place of God. We create idols and worship them.

One of the worst is money which is connected with power. Some people want the money for moneys sake. I had an aunt who spent the early part of her life so poor that there was nothing to eat. She did not spend money as she acquired it. She squirreled it away so that she would never be that poor again. For her money was a life line. There was always that fear controlling her.

For others money is about luxury. Things. Having the best of everything. Being able to go out and buy anything you want. This is connected with one up-manship. This is wanting money to be better than someone else. This is trying assuage the hole in your soul with things.

Then there are those who use money for power. Their lives are spent manipulating those around them. They love being in control. They seldom think of anyone but themselves.

idols

Although all of these things are connected to money each is flawed on its own. Each of these things create idols that are worshiped instead of God. Each of them takes us further and further away from what is real and meaningful.

Worship of the body itself is another idol. Our society loves this one. Youth and a beautiful body are all that matters. They cannot see ahead that each of us is dust and to dust we will return. God does not ask us to ignore our bodies. In fact we are called to care for ourselves as his creation. Just not turn it into worship.

seek god 1There are many more things than sex connected with the flesh that become idols. We need to think broadly and see the truth. “Seek first the kingdom of God.”

Thank God for pets

by worrylessjourney, posted in balance, connections, coping, dogs, God, grace, Laughter, love, medical, PTSD, unconditional love

I love my dogs. I grew up with dogs and so have had them in my home for 77 years. I don’t think that I would know how to live without them. If anyone gets to heaven it is dogs first.

For years we had Dachshunds but several years ago when we had lost one dog my son arrived at the door with at Basset a friend of his couldn’t keep. We are such suckers. If a dog comes into the house it almost never goes out. When our second dachshund crossed the rainbow bridge we adopted a second basset as companion for the first.

basset-hound-and-plants-funnyThese two are so funny. We laugh at their antics daily. They are good dogs with some quirky habits. If we leave them at home the towels are pulled from the bathroom racks when we come back. Sometimes the towels appear in the bedroom. Never damaged…just moved. There are so many toys under the piano in a bin that it is overflowing. I put them back and very quickly, with much rummaging, specific ones are retrieved and distributed around the house.

If one dog is outside and sees something to share (bark at) he/she comes in to alert the other dog to come and join in.

god smiledI could go on but you get the idea. Dogs are a gift. They are being used in so many ways to help us humans with our problems and disabilities. Their ability to hone skills that we thought were impossible seems endless. Service dogs are used to sniff out diseases, help persons with PTSD, anxiety and depression, autism and many other things.

We need to thank God for the gift of dogs and other pets who enrich our lives.

Each moment matters

by worrylessjourney, posted in aging, anxiety, connections, coping, depression, family, friends, Live!, patterns, perspective, share, wholeness

life happensI have been out of the loop for several days and have just caught up reading blogs. I’m sure I didn’t get to them all but at least managed to dig into some.

The past week was hectic and somewhat nerve wracking. With doctor’s appointments and other things I missed time with my support friends. None of us got to see each other and we all feel the loss. We make an attempt to keep ourselves sane and when we don’t all bets are off.

On Friday I had to drive three hours to my daughter’s home for a co-ed shower for my grandson and his bride-to-be. The trip is not long but back roads and boring. The kicker is that on Saturday immediately following the shower I had to leave to drive back home for a dinner put on by the West Point Society for the founding of the academy…my husband is a graduate. When I arrived home after the dinner in a zombie like state I went straight to bed. THANK GOD!

I keep forgetting that as active as I am age still plays a part in my physical resources.

Looking back over my life brings memories good and bad. If I really try I can almost look as if from above and see the patterns. I can see the places where things took a turn that altered my ability to find the skills to cope. I can also see where something that I had learned in the past allowed me to keep moving forward. Yes, sometimes I have struggled and fought the demons of anxiety and depression. Sometimes I have felt joy and happiness. Both mattered.

wisdomSocieties view of those of us aging is so judgmental. We have learned so much on our journeys through life that could be shared. It is such a shame to lose all of that wisdom. An informed life is wasted on obsessing about looks and being young. Life is so much more than that…..so much richer. To continue to seek wisdom and strive for wholeness makes each day a miracle. The beauty around me is breathtaking. I can see the blue and gold of the sunset against the dark outline of the trees. I can see the movement of the water in the river in front of the house. Each day and each moment matters. Don’t waste it trying to hang on to youth. Embrace the years and be grateful. Life is worth living.

Touch heals

by worrylessjourney, posted in aging, community, connections, electronic devices, healing, touch

My mind wanders. When I was in third grade I remember spending time in (what was called ) the coat closet. Not an actual closet but an area in  back of the classroom where we hung our coats. This was because I was never paying attention. We would be reading a story and I would finish it in a few minutes and then my mind would wander.

My mind still wanders. I have to catch myself during a sermon unless it is riveting. I was bored sitting in on a mediation the other day and I started to wander off. For most of my life I felt that was one of my flaws.

keyboardkeyNow there is a study that says that people whose minds wander score higher on intellectual ability. I really hope that is true. When aging you start to wonder if you are losing your mental acuity. My daughter who works for a big software company says that our RAM memory is full. That makes perfect sense to me. We receive so much input on a daily basis that it is no wonder we can’t keep up.

I keep worrying about the next generations and the input of electronic data. More and more children are being home schooled with computer classes. I understand why parents are taking this option but I do worry so much about socialization.

As a society, we are more lonely than we have ever been. We are lonely in spite of all the input because it can’t take the place of human interaction. I believe that we are hard wired to need others and not just on electronics. We need touch and face to face communication. We have long known that infants who receive little touch early in their lives are more likely to end up with anti social disorder. Touch is crucial to our well being.

I have always been a hugger. I plan to continue that. I don’t hug people if they seem uncomfortable but I will use touch as a means of communication. When I visited the sick for the church touch was a major part of what I did.

nothing-is-so-healing-as-the-human-touch-quote-1I know we do have to keep touch appropriate but to stop the healing touch would be a terrible loss. Touch heals.

Time to clean out

by worrylessjourney, posted in addiction, aggravations, anger, anxiety, change, life changes, memories, mistakes

clear-the-clutter-how-to-spring-clean-your-crm-5-638Recently I have been trying to clear some of the clutter from my house. I am creating a collection of things that can go to charity and putting them aside. There is so much in my house that has been collected over the years that I don’t really need. Some of them have memories attached. Nevertheless it is time to clean out and let go.

We have to do the same thing about ourselves. Sometimes it is time to look deep inside and let go of the garbage that has collected. It may be anger at someone or the pain that a slight caused. It may be the memory of something that we are sorry we did. There are times when we need to face all these thing and throw them out.

Open the closet doors and just pull away the bad things. Let the light get in so you can see the dust and dirt and really sweep it all out. The lightness that we feel when we take this action is amazing.

SometimesIt is a hard thing to do and it may have to be done one closet at the time but there is always a time to get started. We can each do it!

Irrational Behavior

by worrylessjourney, posted in belief, Christian, compassion, faith, God, Jesus, life changes, perspective, questioning

I have finished reading the book by Henri Nouwen and have started the book “Reading the Bible Again for the First Time”  by Marcus Borg. Borg is talking about reading the Bible from a new perspective. There are people who don’t like Borg but his thoughts challenge me. Borg talks about our perspective being connected with scientific thinking which says that something is true if it can be verified by further studies.

god-of-the-gaps

Our beliefs about Christianity cannot be verified and science can easily discard them as not valid. It is not easy to think about something that can’t be proved. We have lived with scientific method for so long that it is ingrained. My favorite author, Madeleine L’Engle, says there is true and then there is truth. Truth is something more. Something beyond explanation. It cannot be proved but somehow we just know it.

I certainly can’t explain my faith to someone who does not believe. Intellectually it can’ be done. I can, however, live it in a way that makes them ask why….why did I act that way? Behaving as Christ did is not understandable to the rational mind. He did everything against the mores of the time. He was a radical, a revolutionary.

pathIf we live that way there will be questions asked. Some may think we have gone off the rails but this doesn’t matter. This is the kind of irrational behavior that I want to try and embrace. Something to aim for.