Today’s relationships

My grandson is getting married this month. He and his fiance have actually been together since high school. Now both of the them are gainfully employed and have just bought a house. This event has made me think about relationships in the 21st century.

relationshipSo much has changed since I was their age. So many people live together rather than marry. I don’t know if it has to do with being unwilling to make a long term commitment or just not wanting to go through the legal issues. If there are no children involved I don’t feel as if it matters one way or another. Also, so many marriages end in divorce. Something has changed in how relationships are viewed. Does everyone think that relationships should be excitement and  passion forever? That’s not to say that some marriages have that forever but usually not all the time. Marriage is about growing into a deeper relationship. At least mine has been and I am grateful for that. There seems to be the attitude today that people begin thinking “if this doesn’t work we’ll just end it.” Starting that way puts an “if” in it from the get go.

It concerns me that the real losers today are children. Children seem to do best when parents are in a long term relationship with an eye to building something lasting. The focus on children is also part of the picture as it seems the children have become the primary people in the family. We have forgotten that a marriage needs work and time spent enriching it. Parents should be the focus. When this happens the children win. The children should be loved and cared for but not the focus of everything.

parentsI hope to write something similar to this to give to my grandson and his fiance. I plan to make my thoughts clearer in the hopes that they will start off with wide open eyes about living together “until death do us part.” The good and the bad happen but God willing your love will last.